


Feathers and Follies

by ChappytheBunny



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/F, M/M, Multi, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 05:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 36
Words: 175,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChappytheBunny/pseuds/ChappytheBunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being reborn into a world of modern civilization, a world where Titans have long been diminished and are only conversed about in tales like some sort of mythology, is the greatest gift that any former victim of their peril could ask for, if, and only if, they're cursed by the memory. Unfortunately for Eren Yeager, his time in this new and exciting world had been cut short, when a freak accident had occurred on his way to school one, chilly autumn morning. Unable to cross over into the human interpretation of an afterlife, something within the boy of budding adolescence tells him that he needs to search for a certain something, rather, a certain someone, in order to settle his spiraling array of thoughts. Surely he hasn't met this person before...right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Death Is Warm

Whoever said death was cold was living in a fool's paradise.

For me, death was anything but. It was hot, suffocating even. Maybe it was because of the blood that pooled from my wounds, blanketing me in its warmth. Or maybe it was because of the heat exhaust that puffed against my face, cascading across my nose and my cheeks, much like the gentle touch of a lover.

Somehow, it all felt familiar. Death, that is. This had happened before, right? I've died many times, in many different ways. I don't remember all of them, in fact, only one stands out the most. That's because _he_ was there. _He_ was with me that time, holding my hand and promising me things that I'm sure he didn't even believe himself.

I can still remember him saying that I was going to be okay, telling me that I was going to make it out of that mess alive. Who was he trying to convince? Himself? Probably, because he sure as Hell wasn't convincing me. I was a goner. From the moment that Titan had ferociously bit into my neck and had ruthlessly ripped me from my safe haven, my fate had been sealed.

It's funny, really. Back then, I had felt like such a hero, but in reality, my death had been nothing short of an anticlimax. It would have been quicker, too, if he hadn't interfered. _He_ had always been a hero, a _true_ hero. My hero.

Many of the feelings of this current death compared to that one. During both encounters with the gates of gold, I felt warm. I wasn't scared. Okay, well, maybe a little, but who isn't afraid of the unknown? Where would I be reborn this time? Norway? China? England? Would I be a boy or a girl, and would my gender match my sex? Would I be a sibling or an only child? Would my parents love me, or would I have no parents at all? Yeah. The unknown is pretty scary, and it was time that I had to come face-to-face with it once again.

* * *

_November 1st, 2013_

* * *

My alarm clock was obnoxious. It was high-pitched and ridiculously loud. I told myself, every weekday morning that it went off, that I would chuck it out the window and buy a new one. I didn't care what it looked like or whether it was analog or digital. I just wanted a better sounding one.

I never bought it.

As I crawled out of bed, clawing at the sheets that I must have kicked off in my sleep, I soon realized that it was a new month. Last night had been Halloween, which must have made today the first day of November. Nothing monumental, just an observation.

It was Friday, which meant that my first period class was Biology. I liked Biology, for the most part. My grades sucked, and I was borderline failing it, but my teacher liked me enough to let me sleep through his sermons. So, yeah. Biology.

The only good thing about my Godawful alarm clock was that it served the duel purpose of being both a clock and a radio. With the flip of a switch, the beeping had stopped and the oddly soothing voice of the weatherman filled the void. He said something about how it was going to be colder than normal for this time of the year, but I was only half paying attention. I was too busy slipping out of my pajamas and into clothes that more than likely disagreed with what the meteorologist was saying. Jeans and a t-shirt. Close enough.

I was going to make my bed, I really was, but in the last moment, I chose against it. Why? I'm not really sure. Maybe it was because I enjoyed the feeling of wrinkled bedsheets, as opposed to clean and crisp ones. Or maybe it was because I was lazy. Yeah, I was probably just lazy.

Pulling on a pair of mismatched socks, I reached over and turned off the radio, switching on the alarm feature by accident. "Geez," I sighed, getting so fed up with the darn thing that I left my bedroom without shutting it off.

"Eren," my mom said, calling to me as I descended the stairs, "is that your alarm clock I hear?" She must have been in the kitchen. The house smelled of burnt toast and eggs.

"Yeah, it is," I answered simply. I entered the kitchen and immediately walked over to the counter to inspect our toaster. The poor thing. It was so old that all it ever did was conk out on us. On the rare occasions when it _did_ work, and oh, those occasions were very rare, brutally burned toast it was.

"Still having trouble getting it shut it off?" she laughed, scooping eggs onto a plate that I assumed was mine. When I grabbed for it, she didn't swat my hand away. "Maybe you should pick up a new one on your way home from school. You said you wanted one, right? I'll give you the money for it."

"Cool, thanks," I said, shoving a forkful of the scrambled yolks into my mouth.

My mom was great. She always knew whenever something was bothering me. Even though my current annoyance was a stupid alarm clock, she's had her moments when she's helped me with deeper issues. Like that one time in the fifth grade when the kids in my class picked on me, because my eyebrows were too bushy. It was a stupid thing to get picked on for, but little, ten-year-old me had been greatly affected by it. She knew. On the afternoons when I would sluggishly walk home from school with my shoulders in a slump and my hair covering half of my face, she knew that something was amiss.

She wasn't a helicopter-of-a-mother, though. She never once called in to the teachers to file a complaint, nor did she have a meeting with the principal. Instead, she gave me advice, and honestly, I'm glad that she did. I keep her words close, whenever I can. They're what will help me progress smoothly through this lifetime.

My mom left for work before I left for school. She worked at a daycare for mentally impaired children. It was an admirable line of work, and now that I was older, I could finally understand the influence that she held on those children's lives.

I can still remember when she used to bring me to the daycare center with her. Most of the kids that she took care of were babies, so there wasn't much that I could do to help other than hand her diapers and help clean out the bottles.

Basically inhaling my last bite of eggs, I dropped my plate into the sink and ran the water. It was a habit I had acquired from my father. God knew what he was up to now. He had left my mom and I when I was in the seventh grade, so needless to say, the wounds were still fresh. It didn't really matter to me, though. So long as I had Mom, things would be fine.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and shoved my feet into my sneakers. My toes tickled against the tips of each of them, causing me to groan. Shoes were bothersome. Just when you bought a pair, you'd find yourself already outgrowing them. I'd have to ask for some new ones for Christmas.

After locking the front door, I walked down the driveway and stepped onto the adjoining sidewalk. In some ways, it was kind of nice living so close to school, but in many others, it was a pain. Try telling your teachers any excuse for being late, and chances are they won't believe you.

I turned the corner, picking up speed when I noticed how late it was getting. Not only that, but it was pretty cold. I really should have paid more attention to the weatherman.

"Hey, Eren!"

My body whipped around at the sound of my name being called. It was Mina. She was a freshman, a year younger than me, but she was smart. We had the same Geometry class together. "Oh, hey," I said, slowing down to allow her to catch up.

"Did you finish the homework we had?" she asked, as she twirled one of her pigtails flirtatiously. I knew she had a crush on me, but I never acknowledged it, much the same way that she never acknowledged our past life. I doubted she remembered, and I would have looked like a fool for asking her such a thing. "It was pretty tough, right?"

"Yeah, it was," I nodded, "but no, I didn't finish it."

"Ooh!" she giggled accusingly. "You're going to get in trouble!"

I shrugged. "Eh, whatever." Really, I couldn't care less. Math had never been my strong suit, and all of these shapes and stuff were just playing with my head. Give me a two-plus-two equation over this garbage, please.

We continued to walk together in silence, lost in our thoughts. She was probably consumed with frilly thoughts or thoughts about me, while I was mostly trying to use my make-believe mind powers to keep her quiet.

"Say, Eren, do you like me?" My mind powers had failed me.

"Huh?" I asked, trying to sound shocked. "What are you talking about, Mina? Of course I like you. We're friends, right?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not what I meant." Her finger stilled, hooking against the elastic band that held a portion of her hair together. "I mean, do you _like_ me. Like, _like_ like."

"Oh," I said. I didn't know what else to say, so I said it again. "Oh."

"So...?" Man, she was persistent. I should have known better. She had been persistent, albeit under different circumstances, back then, too. Whatever the case, she was easing closer towards me and I wasn't totally okay with that.

What had I done to deserve this? It was Friday. I just wanted to go to school, go home, watch TV, and laze around for the rest of the day like any other kid my age. Was this because I didn't shut off my alarm clock? That stupid thing would be the death of me, really.

"I think," I began, instantly regretting my choice of words, "I think we should stay as just friends. It's nothing personal or anything, I just-"

"It's because I'm a freshman, isn't it?" she hissed, her mood doing a complete one-eighty that I had not been expecting.

"No, I--"

"Then there's gotta be someone else, right? Someone else that you like?"

"No, it's not that, either. Mina, I--"

"Whatever, Eren," she interrupted. "Just, whatever." She flipped one of her pigtails over her shoulder and turned her nose up a me. "I'll see you in Geometry." And with that, she quickened her stride and crossed the street before I even had the chance to process what had just happened. Seriously, what had just happened?

Mom always said that with my attitude, I would be bad at understanding how girls felt. Still, I couldn't help but think that Mina was the one who was wrong in this situation, not me. I had done nothing wrong; she was the one who overreacted. With a heavy sigh, I put one foot forward and began to cross the street.

This was about to become one of those scenarios where you've done something so many times in your life that it's almost become automatic. A reflex, if you will. In my high school years, as well as all of my elementary and middle school years prior, I had crossed this very same street what had felt like a million times before. Some days I looked, some days I didn't. Today was one of those days that I probably should have looked.

It had all happened so suddenly that I couldn't even understand it if I tried. One second I was on my feet, crossing the street just like any other day, and the next, there was a roaring screech, a skid, and I was on the ground, my left arm bent backward out of its socket, beneath the belly of a car.

Everything was spinning out of control, like a merry-go-round that had been kicked into overdrive. My body must have been strapped on pretty tightly to that fake horse, because no matter how hard I willed it to move, nothing would budge.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," I could hear the driver panic, over and over to a higher power who was much to busy to hear his prayer. "H-hey! It'll be alright, okay? I'm calling an ambulance right now!"

It'll be alright, huh? That's funny. I've heard those words before. Back then, things were the furthest that they could have possibly been from "alright". Did this person honestly believe in what he was telling me? Of course not. The moment he had lost control of his vehicle on that slippery patch of black ice, he knew I was dead.

Black ice. Oh, that must have been what the weatherman was talking about, when he had stated that it was going to be colder than usual. There was some mention of rain in the early hours of the morning, wasn't there? I don't know. I can't remember. I should have paid more attention.

I couldn't see him, but I could tell that the driver was looking beneath his car, trying to get a glimpse of my condition. At first, I heard the muffled sound of him gasping, but then, I heard him gag. How rude is that? He's the one who did this to me. To be fair, it _was_ an accident, a horrible one at that, but still, it was his fault for not paying more attention to his surroundings. Or maybe it was my fault for not paying attention to the weather. Who knows. All I knew was that whoever said death was cold had never experienced it himself.

As I laid there in my immobility, my vision started to give out. The exhaust from the car was damaging my eyes in ways that made me want to close them and never open them again. It was a shame, really. Mom always said that I had such beautiful eyes. She envied their vibrant green color over her own, dull and common brown ones. I don't see why, though. Her eyes are so kind.

In my drunken state of being on the verge of a bodily shut down, I had a brief flashback of my previous life, the one that had been directly before this one. I had been a little girl named Ellen. Up until this point, for the life of me, I couldn't remember how I had died. It was with a wave of nausea that it had all came back for just an instant. I guess it was what you would call "someone's life flashing before their eyes".

I was five, when I had died of a terrible heart disease. I'm sure my parents of that lifetime had mourned my passing for years. It made me feel a bit guilty that I had forgotten all about it until just now.

I should have been able to hear the sirens in the distance, but all of my senses, along with my consciousness, had begun to fade. The only thing that kept me hanging on were those words, those very words that were oh, so familiar.

_"You're going to be okay! Damnit, Eren! You're going to make it out of this mess alive, do you hear me?!"_

Yeah, I hear you. Loud and clear, actually. I hate to break the news to you, I really do, but it's already too late, much too late, over a thousand years too late.

Another lifetime, another anticlimactic death. I should have listened to the weatherman. I should have made my bed. I should have spent those extra two, tedious seconds trying to shut off my alarm clock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> So, not only is this my very first chapter-fic for Attack on Titan, but this is also my very first time publishing a fanfic onto AO3. I'm a tad bit nervous, but we've all gotta get out there and try new things, right? 
> 
> I don't have very much else left to say other than that I hope you enjoy this story! I'm super excited to start writing for it, so please bear with me.
> 
> Other than that, thank you for taking the time to read! (:
> 
> \-- Chappy


	2. Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death has never been the end for Eren, but is something different, something aside from reincarnation, in store for him this time?

This may sound strange, actually, it's probably going to sound very strange, but dying for however many times that I have has made me immune to the right of passage. I call it such, because that's what it is. It's a passage. You pass through from one life to the next, without so much as even a thought about the past however many years you spent occupying your prior, physical form.

The best way to describe the feeling, without getting too vulgar, is like saying your body is a broken TV remote, while your soul is a set of perfectly functional batteries. No matter how many different sets of new batteries, no matter how many different brands or labels, putting new batteries into a remote that is already broken won't make it work. The remote is gone, unable to function, and needs to be disposed of. The same is for bodies. Once a body loses its ability to preform humanly functions, the soul moves on. Where it goes is entirely defined by the person, I'm pretty sure.

Some people go to Heaven, some people go to Hell. I, however, have never gone to either. For as long as I can remember, I've been body-hopping ever since the year 851. It's tiring, I'll admit that, but I suppose it's necessary. There has to be a purpose for it, right? After all, in all of my years, through all of my reincarnations, I have never once crossed paths with...

Well, this was new. Any second now, I should have been experiencing my reincarnation. So, why did I feel so trapped? Why had everything gone so dark? So warm? So...incubated?

I couldn't move. My arms, my legs, every ligament of my body failed to accommodate me. Something such as this had never happened before. Was I going to be stillborn? That had never happened, either. My poor parents. All of my parents, from all of my lives. I'm so sorry.

A thought suddenly occurred to me. If I were to be stillborn, I shouldn't have been able to feel anything at all, right? I should have been dead for a secondary time. Well, that wasn't the case here. Other than being immobile, I could feel everything quite nicely. My stomach felt full, and my back felt arched. Moving up, up, up, my head felt hung, while down, down, stop, my shoulders felt incredibly heavy. Why were they so heavy? Were they broken?

With a surging force of curiosity, the nonexistent chains that had been holding me captive broke free and I allowed myself to stretch. God, it felt so good to stretch. However, it was through the rise of my arms that I realized I was inside of something. I had never doubted this factor, I just never bothered to make the connection. I must have been too bent out of shape over the idea of being stillborn.

Muffled noises from the outside, wherever that was, were starting to seep through my barrier. I could hear them, but I couldn't make out what was being said, or if it were words that were even being said at all. What was going on? Was I in a box? A cage? I was so confused. I needed to get out.

Though I had never felt more secure in my entire life, I balled my hand into a fist, and with as much force as my weary muscles could muster, I pounded the top of my infrastructure. It didn't break, so I pounded it again.

The noises from before began to grow louder and more coherent. I was right in thinking that they might have been words, because after my third fist fit, I had managed to crack the surface, only to be greeted by the loudest of "holy craps" that I had ever heard. Either that, or my ears were just ridiculously sensitive.

I was able to see some sort of light. It shined through the crack that I had created, and it was just enough to serve as my driving force, the force that was telling me that I needed to get the heck out of there.

I pushed and I shoved and I stretched and I thrashed. With each impact, I heard faint cracks form all around me. If only my shoulders hadn't been weighing me down so much, I would have been able to break free sooner.

"Ugh!" I grunted, finally bursting through the cage that I quickly realized mustn't had been a cage at all.

"Pffft," one of the voices snickered. It sounded masculine. "He's still the same, overdramatic freak that I remember."

"Shh!" another voice chimed in, shushing his rude commentary. This one sounded sweet, angelic even, as it said, "He's probably more tired than we could ever imagine. Especially now that he's forced himself through, when he's obviously still--ah! Don't move yet!"

I was kicking off the slime-like debris and goop that caked my legs and feet. It felt disgusting, nothing like the warmth that had embraced me just moments ago. Now, I felt wet and cold.

There was laughter. It was from the first voice. "Look at him squirm, oh my God! He looks like a newborn calf!"

"Jean, hush!" the second voice pleaded with him. "He is a newborn, and he needs our help, so stop laughing at him!"

"Phew! Historia, I can't! He just so--! Oh, whoah. Hey, watch out there."

In the midst of my kicking, I had sliced my ankle against something sharp. The pain stung more than any paper cut had ever stung before, and I deeply regretted my decision of freedom. I wonder if I had tried hard enough, maybe this new life had gifted me time travel powers. No? Okay, then.

"Eren," they knew my name, apparently, "please stop moving. We'll get you cleaned up right away, but please just hold still for the time being."

"Yeah, listen to Historia, Eren. If you keep moving like that, you're just going to do more harm to yourself than good."

Why was it that the second my body had emerged from its encasing, I had closed my eyes? It hadn't even occurred to me that they were closed until I opened them, drinking in all of my surroundings.

The first thing that my vision had focused on was two pairs of feet, bare and shiny. The pair on the right was significantly larger than the pair on the left. I pinned the deeper voice to the feet on the right, and the softer voice to the left. Wait, what were their names again? They have been calling each other...

My head snapped up. Faces that I had seen before, faces that had been articulately ingrained into my memory, were staring down at me, both wearing very different expressions.

"Eren," I turned my attention to the left. "Eren, do you remember me?"

I couldn't speak, for whatever reason, so I nodded.

"Of course, he remembers. He's got that stupid look on his fa--"

"Jean, stop it!"

All of this back and forth was causing my head to spin. I lowered it to the ground, hoping for some sort of moment's reprieve. It wasn't until I had closed my eyes once again that I felt something tugging at my legs.

"Eren, it's me," I heard. "It's Historia Reiss. And you remember Jean, right? Jean Kirschtein from the 104th training squad? The Scouting Legion, rather. We were all in the Scouting Legion together."

I remembered. Like Jean said, of course I remembered. How could I ever forget? I would be forever plagued by nightmares from our expeditions, no matter which lifetime it was that I passed through.

"Eren, I'm going to heal your wound quickly, and after that, Jean will--"

"I won't," he interrupted. "Don't make me do it. It's _so_ gross. Just look at all of the mucus he's covered in!"

"You were covered in just as much, if not more, when you were reborn, too," Historia hissed.

I could hear Jean scoff at that. It gave me just enough satisfaction to choke out a strangled laugh.

"Oh, shut up, Eren," he fired back. "I'll bet you won't even be able to fly, with wings that freakishly large."

With...what? What did he just say?

Historia must have been ready to pull her beautifully blonde hair out with frustration. Between taking care of my ankle and toning down Jean's uncalled for comments, she was probably at her wit's end. "Look," she sighed, trying to be the voice of reason, "I really need your help, Jean. We weren't appointed caregiver archangels by just lazing around. We were appointed such, because we--"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," I heard Jean groan. "Because we've helped a lot of newborn angels, and we're pretty good at it, too. But why does it have to be him? Couldn't he have just been reincarnated? Reborn into a human family like always?"

"Please don't ask questions that you already know the answer to," Historia said softly, an obvious reaction to the way that I must have cringed beneath her touch. "There's a meaning behind everything, and if Eren's years of reincarnation have ceased, then there is a reason for it."

I tried to speak up at that, if I could even speak at all, that is, but Historia silenced me sweetly. "Eren, we can talk soon. Right now, let's just focus on getting you cleaned up." I didn't have to see her face to know that she was glaring pointedly at Jean.

Jean sighed like I did when my mom told me to take out the garbage on a rainy night, or any night, really. It sounded reluctant and unwillingly, and I could practically feel its effect, when he carelessly hauled me up and onto my feet. I wobbled, practically toppling over. I needed support.

"Whoah, whoah! Don't lean on me like that! I don't want your freaky egg mucus all over me!"

It seemed as if my arms were the only things that were under my control. I wasn't going to let an opportunity like that go to waste, so in a wild attempt of getting an old friend-or-foe upset, I gave Jean the biggest, sloppiest bear hug that I could manage. The high-pitched squeal of dissatisfaction totally made up for the fact that he had dropped me flat on my face.

It didn't come as a shock, when Historia shouted at him. "Jean, pick him up right now!"

"But he got his goo all over me!" That must have been the best excuse that he could come up with in a moment's notice.

"And you got _your_ 'goo' all over Marco, when you were reborn, too. You're no different, so man up and _help him_."

I wished that I had been fully capable of standing up on my own, but sadly, Jean's description of my physical state was pretty spot on. I felt like some sort of newborn farm animal: unstable and in need of assistance.

After Jean had swallowed his pride and pulled me up by the undersides of my arms, I decided I would play nice and allow him to clean me off without putting up a fuss.

He started with my arms, the very arms that I had used to slather my "goo" all over him. I'm not entirely sure what he did, but in swift motions, with his hands just barely cascading over my limbs, my skin was altogether rid of the sticky mucus that made my body feel incredibly disgusting. All that was left now were my...

"Turn around," Jean instructed, an order that I wasn't completely okay with following just yet.

"Do as Jean tells you, Eren," Historia coaxed. "He knows what he's doing. We've both done it many times before."

Done what, though? What have they done before, and many times yet, that they now had to do to me? I wanted to ask, but I still felt too weak to speak.

To feed my curiosity, Jean explained, "I've gotta clean off your wings, Eren." I'm pretty sure I heard him add, "No matter how lopsided and freakish they are," beneath his breath.

There it was again. That word. Wings. Just what the Hell were they talking about. I didn't have wings. I didn't have...

I felt Jean run his fingers down the center of my spine. He fit them deep within two large lumps of weight that must have added pounds upon pounds to my overall body composition. Whatever those lumps were, they must have been the reasoning behind my heavy shoulders.

"Ugh, this is so gross," Jean complained, pulling chunks of goop from my body and tossing the remains onto the ground next to my feet. I couldn't deny that I was still curious, so I took a peek. What I saw were splotches of translucent mucus and clumps of ivory feathers. I felt dizzy.

"Historia, help me keep him steady," Jean said. Historia couldn't have obliged any quicker. I so much as blinked and there she was.

"While I'm here, let me help you get that voice of yours back," she smiled. It was my natural reflex to withdraw from her hand as it extended toward me, but when she assured me that she meant no harm, I allowed her to touch her fingers to my throat.

She spoke a few words that sounded almost like a prayer, and when she was done, she asked me to say something, so I did.

"Something," I muttered.

"Haha, so funny," Jean grumbled sarcastically from behind.

"Oh, don't be so bitter," Historia chided. "I thought it was cute. It's nice to know that he still has his sense of humor."

"Yeah, his _lousy_ sense of humor."

I was done listening to them bicker. Now that my vocal chords had been blessed with the strength that they needed to produce words, I had a ton of questions that I wanted to be answered. The moment I opened my mouth to ask just one of them, Historia pressed her index finger to my lips.

"I know you have questions, Eren," she said, "but before you start rapidly asking them, I want you to know that I may not have all of the answers that you are looking for. Some of those answers, you're going to have to find out for yourself."

I could understand that much, so I nodded. She removed her finger, and judging by her patient demeanor, she was ready for me to begin. I started with the most important question I could think of. "Where am I?"

"You're in a place called Maria." She seemed happy that she knew the answer to that one. "It's not on Earth, nor is it in Heaven. Right now, you're in a sort of limbo, a place of rebirth."

"Maria?" I repeated. "Like the wall?"

Historia giggled at that. It was such a pretty sound that I wanted to say something else just to make her do it again. "Yes, but also no. The names are the same -- those Wallists must have really been hung up over something celestial in the naming process of the walls were are familiar with -- but where you are now is entirely different."

Her answer made enough sense that I felt knowledgable enough to move on to my second question. "Why am I here?"

I could see Historia's expression drop. "Unfortunately, I do not know the answer to that question. However, what I can tell you is that everyone who is reborn in Maria is reborn with a purpose."

"Isn't this the same thing as reincarnation?" My knowledge was quickly slipping, and I was starting to get confused.

"It's not the same at all, Eren." This time, it was Jean who spoke up. "That egg that you just came out of, and yeah, you came out of an egg, has been incubating this body of yours for quite some time. It's different from all of your other bodies, because it's not human. You're not human. Not anymore, and I beg to argue if you ever were one to begin with." Historia pointed a finger at him, but he continued regardlessly. "Look, I'm not here to give you a lecture on the what-whats and the when-whens, but you're not human, so this is entirely different from reincarnation. This is your last chapter. Call it a final stage, if you will, but the Eren Yeager you knew, the Eren who lived with his mother, had an absent father, and was struck by a car that had skidded on black ice on his way to school, was the last Eren of your reincarnation cycle."

Jean might have thought that he had helped curb my confusion, but all he had done was make it ten times worse. All I had to do was utter the word, "So..." and he was done.

"Okay, whatever. I'm not getting through to him," he spoke irritably. "Your turn, Historia."

I looked at her hopefully, and she looked at me with concern. "Eren," she began quietly, "what is it that you're not understanding?"

"Um," I pondered, "everything, actually."

It wasn't until a small gust of wind blew between the both of us that I had realized how cold it was, or rather, how cold _I_ was. Historia and Jean didn't seem to have any altercation with the weather. As the current passed through, it tousled Historia's hair majestically, causing it to shine in the light as if it were made of thin strands of pure gold.

Her hair hadn't been the only thing that moved with the wind. Her dress, made of ivory satin that hung loosely around her curves, flowed back and forth against her ankles, until the passing wind had subsided. I didn't have a dress like that, did I? I looked down. Nope. In fact, I was stark naked. Must have explained my feeling of frigidness.

"Allow me to try and rearrange what Jean just said in a way that is more, how should I say it..." she trailed off to wonder.

"Dumbed-down?" Jean must have been smirking. Historia wasn't the least bit amused.

"In a way that is more clear," she decided, "a way that is more understandable for you."

"Basically, just a dumber version of everything I said."

Historia glared at Jean from over my shoulder. I had to admit, it was kind of adorable watching her have to prop herself up onto the tips of her toes. "If this had been anyone else, you wouldn't be acting this way. Learn to bite your tongue, for once."

I had to give Historia credit where credit was deserved. She really knew how to put Jean in his place. Her only flaw, sadly, was in keeping him there.

"Eren," she caught my gaze, and I caught hers, "allow me to explain a few things, okay? But please, refrain from asking any questions until I'm done." I nodded in agreement, giving her my full attention. She began.

"There are three stages of the cycle of life: passing on, reincarnation, and the birth of an angel. Those who pass on either ascend to Heaven or descend to Hell. There isn't any room for second chances, in those instances." In just two, short sentences, my perception of Heaven and Hell had changed drastically. "Those who have dealt with reincarnation, like you have, are reborn many times, to many different families, with many different backgrounds. I know you must be wondering why your reincarnation cycle has ended, and although I cannot provide you with a proper answer for that, what I can tell you is that something must have occurred in the midst of your death, something very important, that has caused your soul to slip into this current body of yours, a body that has been kept incubated in an egg for quite some time.

We all came from eggs, just so you're aware of that. Jean, Marco, who's actually busy with Earthly works of guarding at the moment, and even me. Our souls all stopped the reincarnation process eventually, and here we are, all with our own, separate purposes. Marco's purpose is in guarding human children in Spain, while my purpose, along with Jean's, is to help newborn angels get on their feet and learn how to fly. It is also through these teaching methods that most angels realize what _their_ purpose is, why _they_ are no longer a part of the reincarnation cycle, and why _they_ have been subjected to a life, an eternal one at that, of servitude."

I could feel it again. My head was spinning in all sorts of directions, and I just wanted to lay down. Unfortunately for me, it was tough to do so, while I was getting yanked to pieces from behind. I needed an answer. I needed just one answer from Historia that I desperately hoped, and very well knew, that she could provide.

"So, what you're saying is that...I'm an angel?"

Apparently, Jean had finally finished grooming me. For his own entertainment, he pinched me in an area on my lower back, causing my arms cast outward and flail about wildly. They weren't the only things that had cast outward, however. A shower of feathers rained down from above my head, forcing my entire mind and body into a state of wonder.

Even though I already had my desired answer, Historia obliged me with a nod. "Yes, Eren," she whispered. "You're an angel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! It turned out to be a lot longer than I expected, but I'm rather pleased with it. I've made a goal for myself to try and write out longer chapters, so having a chapter that is 3,500+ words is a big step for me.
> 
> Anywho, thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
>  
> 
> \-- Chappy


	3. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren learns two things, from two, very different ends of the spectrum: how to sleep and how to fly.

I was dizzied with bewilderment and overwhelmed by fatigue. The heavy heaps that I felt on my shoulder blades, weighting them down in a way that had forced me to slump forward, had been wings. Angel wings. I was an angel.

"Eren," Historia spoke gently. Her voice had pulled me out of my stupor. I looked up, unsure of when I had lowered my head in the first place, and met her soft gaze. "You should get some rest. Although your mind may be registered for early morning, much like your time of death, the essence of time itself does not exist in this world. We sleep when weakened, and arise when replenished."

That made enough sense, but still, I had to ask, "Is there any special way that, you know..." Even though I hadn't stated the question yet, I could already sense Jean's judgement. It was practically radiating off of him. "Is there any special way that angels are supposed to sleep?"

"Hah!" I had called it. I had totally called it.

Historia had had it with him, and in a fit of huffy disapproval, she tugged at my arms and pulled me away from his hold. "You're done," she said, doing her best to sound stern. "I'm taking full custody of Eren."

Instead of looking disappointed, which, really, why would he have looked disappointed, Jean merely stuck up his nose and emitted a boastful aura. "Is that so? And just who is going to teach him how to fly?  _You_? Don't make me laugh again. You know that I'm a better flyer than you are."

Since when had Jean and Historia become such rivals? All it had been was back and forth arguments, since the second I had been reborn. It was starting to make me agitated.

"For just one second," I breathed, my voice picking up in volume as my words progressed, "just a second, could the both of you shut up? Just, like,  _shut up_? I mean, oh my God, all I did was ask a stupid question, and yeah, it was probably stupid, but now it's turned into a battle over what? Who gets custody of me? I'm not a child, and this is getting annoying." I turned to Jean. "You, stop being a jerk." I turned to Historia. "And you, although I appreciate what you're trying to do, I don't need you sticking up for me like some wimpy kid on the playground. Just answer my question so that I can go to sleep."

I knew that my outburst would stir up some emotions, but I hadn't expected the reactions that I received. Jean, probably for the only time in his life, was at a loss of words, and Historia, sucking on her lip and lowering her eyes, looked as if she were about to cry.

"I, uh..."

"No, you're right," Historia interjected. "You're absolutely right. Jean and I, we've been nothing but disconcerting this whole time."

"No, that's not it," I tried. I didn't want her to think that she'd been totally useless. After all, she and Jean had both given me a pretty good background of why I was where I was, and what I had to do to determine my future in this body.

Jean spoke up, this time. "Nah, Eren, you're right. We've been pretty crappy to you. Well, me,  _I've_  been pretty crappy to you." He snickered, and I could only assume that he was reflecting on something of the past. "You know, you've changed. You're not like you were back then. You've still got that stupid-I mean, you still look the same, it's just, I guess now that we've lived through a myriad of different lives, things are...different."

Of course things were different. Humanity had regained its freedom. Walls no longer caged us like cattle. Wars amongst humans had resumed. Food, although an issue in some underdeveloped nations, was readily available with just a simple trip the supermarket. It was overwhelming, but it was perfect. However, it was the life that I no longer lived.

My decision was final, as I extended my hand out for Jean to take. "Let's call a truce." It was an offer that he could refuse, but somehow I knew that he wouldn't. "Let's keep the past in the past."

It was funny how, even after his lengthy speech about change and difference, he still hesitated to shake my hand. Fitting it into his own, he shook it, nodded, and said, "The past is the past."

I could hear Historia breathe a sigh of relief from behind. "Thank God." The air of her voice told me that she was smiling. "Now that all of this is settled, Eren, you had a question about sleeping?"

It was a shame. Now that I was about to get an answer, I wasn't feeling all that tired anymore. I nodded, thinking it best to repeat myself. "Yeah, I did," I said, turning on my heel to face her. "I wanted to know if it was the same as how humans sleep. I'm only used to that way, you know?"

Historia nodded, and Jean made a sound of agreement. "It's a bit different, I have to admit," she affirmed. "And it's pretty hard to put into words, so I should probably just show you."

I couldn't object to that. After all, I found that visual learning was a lot more effective, at least in my case, rather than oral or verbal.

Historia took one, two, three, small steps backward. Her demeanor was majestic, divine even, but I didn't expect any less from an archangel. It was a faulty on my part, but I hadn't even noticed Historia's wings until she had spread them. They were rounded, I saw, more so than I would have imagined. Their symmetrical nature gave them the appearance of two halves of a whole heart. It was befitting, definitely befitting for someone like Historia.

"First, you should open your wings up like this," she instructed, flapping her own gently to accentuate her point. "Then, you go like this." Her wings flared, sending out a cascade of feathers, before reaching forward. From what I could tell, they served as some sort of a makeshift shelter housing.

"Is that it?" I asked, wondering if such a thing could seriously be so simple.

"Yup!" she cheerfully responded. "It's the most comfortable way for us to sleep. Usually, from here on out, most angels either curl up into the fetal position, or sleep with their legs crossed."

"What would happen if an angel slept on their back?"

"One word," Jean spoke up. " _Ow_."

"What, really?" Hearing such a thing made me feel uneasy. "Why?"

"Serious wing irritation," he explained. "We've had newborn angels awake us in the middle of our resting period, screaming at the top of their lungs, because of cases of severe irritation. Trust me, just don't do it."

"I won't, I won't," I promised, "but that's really weird. Why does it happen?"

"Angel wings, especially for newborns, are terribly sensitive, Eren," Historia took over. "Now that your wings have been cleaned, you're feeling it, aren't you? The tender sting from having your feathers ruffled about so roughly?"

I hadn't realized it, but now that she had brought such a thing to my attention, she was right. My wings did feel kind of sore. I tried rolling my shoulders to ease the pain, but it didn't help much. If anything, it only made the discomfort of them all the more apparent.

"Luckily, wings don't have to be groomed very often," Historia added kindly. "Preferably, cleaning your feathers once a week is a good standard, but it's based entirely on how dirty they get." She chuckled a bit. "You know, when Jean was just a newborn, he needed to have his wings preened every single day."

"What?! That's not true!" Jean shouted in his defense.

"Come on, don't deny it," she giggled. "You weren't always the spectacular flyer that you make yourself out to be. Every day, it was up in the air and straight down to the ground with you."

Huffing, Jean crossed his arms over his chest and turned away. "Yeah, okay, whatever. Enough is enough, though. Eren, spread your wings and get some sleep. You're going to need it, if I'm going to be your flying instructor."

I didn't feel intimidated in the slightest, but maybe I should have. Who knows? Jean's teaching style could have been insane and I just didn't know it yet. Whatever the case, I was becoming rapidly reacquainted with my prior fatigue.

Just like it was hard to move an arm or a leg that had fallen asleep, I found it rather difficult to move my wings. I obviously knew that they were there, I just didn't know how to move them on command. Jean had pinched me, and that had caused them to open the first time, but they had long closed up since then.

"Uh..."

"Oh, Eren, um..." Historia smiled at me. She looked apologetic. "You're probably not used to the idea of having wings yet."

"Probably not, yeah," I agreed.

"I've got an analogy," Jean chuckled, jabbing me in my lower back. "You know those people who say that super long fingernails are like an extension of their fingers?" I nodded. "Well, think of your wings as an extension of your shoulders. Expand your mental image of your body and elongate your subconscious."

"Elongate my subconscious," I repeated, turning the idea over in my head. It may have sounded like an easy enough task, but it wasn't. My shoulders, no matter how much focus I placed into them, would not extend.

"Yeesh, if you can't even open your wings," Jean sighed, "you're going to have a field day trying to fly."

I scoffed, angered by the fact that he was attempting to undermine me. Who would have thought that the very anger that bubbled in my core would have proved to be just the push that I needed to spread my wings? I didn't, and neither did Historia or Jean. But there they were, opened wide and far too large for me to handle. I stumbled forward.

"Whoa, whoa, watch it there," Jean said cautiously. He stuck out his hands, and assuming that they were for me, I took them for support. "You got them open, and that's great, but you need to steady yourself. We'll practice all of this later. For now-"

"Sleep, I know," I interrupted with a yawn. "I can handle myself from here. Thank you for all of your help, but I'm good. You two, go off and do whatever it is that you do. I'm going to huddle up into my little wing-tent now."

Jean snorted, and Historia laughed lightly.

"Enjoy your rest, Eren," Historia smiled, placing her right hand onto my forearm gently.

"Yeah, rest up, trainee," Jean snickered. "God, I've waited forever to say that to someone like you."

"I'm  _sure_  you have," I sighed, whilst rolling my eyes. I had been pulling on the edges of my wings as if they were stage curtains.

"We'll come back for you, once you've awoken," Historia informed. She stepped beside Jean, who, in turn, stepped next to her.

"Nighty nighty, Eren," Jean breathed in a taunt, and before I could even fabricate a witty comeback to utter in response, he and Historia had taken flight. For Jean's sake, I hated to admit it, but it was the single, most graceful sight I had ever seen. It even drove me far enough to think,  _'Crap. I want to be able to fly like that.'_

I tucked myself into my feathers, relishing in the incubated warmth and comfort that they provided. Maybe living with these gigantic things wouldn't be so bad, especially if I got to sleep with this much security each and every time. I mean, sure, they were super heavy, and yeah, my shoulders were killing me, but they were cool enough to make up for it. And being able to  _fly_ with them, a dream that I've had ever since the very first time I had strapped myself up with Three-Dimensional Maneuver Gear way back when, yeah, that was pretty cool, too.

* * *

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty. Time to train those titanic wings of yours."

I groaned and pulled my knees closer to my chest, as if such a motion would make Jean go away. It didn't.

"Wow, really? I thought the word 'titanic' would have sparked something in you," he laughed. "You know, like 'Titan'?"

"Haha," I laughed monotonously. "Very funny."

Jean was still laughing, as he pulled one of my wings back. It was just enough for him to get a better view of me from inside of them. "Seriously, though. Get up."

I snapped my wings shut on him, which only enticed him to laugh all the harder.

"Hey, good job!" Jean said with praise. "Look's like you're getting the hang of controlling your wings on your own. That's good. Really good, actually. We can totally skip that part of your training now, and move right to the important stuff, which, you know, is flying."

What Jean had thought would spark my interest hadn't, but the idea of flying had. Parting my wings just enough to peek through the small gap that they had created, I looked up at him curiously. He was staring back down at me with a playful smirk.

"And a good morning to you," he teased.

"I thought time didn't exist in this place," was my counter.

"You're right, it doesn't. I was trying to make you feel at home."

Still unwilling to stand, I asked, "How long have I been asleep for? Answer me in terms that I would understand, please."

"Terms that you would understand, huh?" Jean repeated thoughtfully. "I guess, you slept for the Earthly equivalent of three days."

"Three days?!" I gasped. Immediately, my wings had spread wide open and I was up on my feet. My balance, somehow, had improved considerably, but the lopsided nature of my wings had caused me to waver. Still, I was able to catch myself, before Jean had to.

"Great, you're up," he spoke, in a rather congratulatory manner. He gave me a firm pat on my shoulder. "Ready to get started?"

"Yeah, but wait a second," I said. "Where's Historia."

"Duty calls," he sighed, and shrugged his shoulders. "Another angel was born."

"Does that happen a lot? Like, angels being born and all that stuff?"

"Typically, no," he answered, "but I guess this is just one of those rare occurrences, you know? Usually, one angel is born for every Earthly week. This gives us enough time to dedicate ourselves to one angel alone, working with them until they're mature enough to carry out their purpose. Like you, most angels usually spend a few days sleeping after they're born, so that gives us about, hmm, three to four days of flight training?"

"Was the angel someone that you know?" I wondered. "That I know?"

"Nah, it was some woman who had lived in Argentina. She told Historia that her last life experience had ended due to a terminal illness. Lung cancer, I think she said it was."

"That's rough," I mumbled.

"Yeah, and so is getting hit by a car, man! Now come on. Buckle up and get ready. We're taking flight."

Before I could say anything else, Jean was already airborne. "Wh-whoa!" I shouted, watching him as he flew on ahead. "Hey, wait! Wait for me!"

"Not a chance, Eren!" he called from above. "First lesson, you've gotta try and catch me!"

Catch him? How was that even possible? He was all the way up in the air, and I obviously didn't know how to fly yet. Regardless of that factor, I had to think fast. Maybe I could start off on foot and go from there? Yeah, that sounded like a good enough plan.

It wasn't until I had started running after Jean that I realized I had been wearing clothes. Well, they weren't exactly like the clothes that I was used to. They were light in color and soft in texture. Not only that, but they were loosely fitted, which definitely gave me an upper hand in running speed. My quick pace was short lived, because, oh yeah, that's right, I still had two, ginormous wings on my back.

Jean came down from his heightened flight, when I face-planted into the ground. "What's the matter, Eren? Was that lesson too hard for you? Maybe we should start with the lessons that I teach to our angel toddlers."

I tried to talk, but my mouth was full of...salt? Actually, I wasn't sure what it was full of. Whatever it was, though, all I could say was that the ground wasn't made of dirt. It tasted salty. Gross.

"Okay, okay, maybe that was a little harsh," Jean sighed. "Here, let me help you-"

"I can get up on my own," I huffed, after I had spit. But could I actually and honestly do that? Get up on my own? No, I couldn't. Jean helped me.

"Alright," he said, stationing me back onto my feet. "I'm going to be honest with you. If you had been able to start flying and had been able to catch me with no instruction at all, we would have deemed you, like, some sort of flying prodigy."

"What the Hell!" I was visibly frustrated. Because of Jean, my pretty clothes had been ruined. Just because the ground didn't look like dirt, didn't taste like dirt, it still messed up clothing like dirt.

"I'm sorry!" Jean shot back in his defense. "It's something that I do to everyone! I'm not just singling you out because I feel like it. Although, I have to admit-"

"Don't."

"Right, okay."

He took a step back and flexed his shoulders. "First lesson, the  _real_  first lesson, isn't actually a lesson at all."

"...What?" No, really, what?

"Calm down," he breathed, "it's nothing complicated. It's just a question."

"Oh, okay," I nodded. A question. That was simple enough. I could handle a question, right? "What's the question?"

"Have you ever seen a bird fly?"

My answer was almost immediate. "Well, yeah. Of course I have."

"Good," Jean said. "I would have been severely concerned, if you hadn't." I'm not sure why, but he began to pace. I guess he wanted to seem more serious, teacherly, or something along those lines. "Now, explain to me how a bird flies."

"Huh? Wait, I can't...I don't know the answer to that."

"Sure you do." He seemed almost positive in his response. "Now start explaining."

I bit my lip and racked my brain for an answer. How do birds fly? How  _do_  birds fly? They fly on instinct, right? Doesn't the mother bird push them out of the nest, or something like that? Isn't it a sort of do-or-die kind of thing? Maybe my answer was right. I wasn't confident in it, but I said it anyway. "Isn't it because of instinct?"

"Partially. Explain your thought process to me." Geez, he was persistent. Almost like a real teacher.

"Well, alright," I began, relaying my thoughts to him. "Doesn't the mother bird force her baby birds to fly? She shoves them out of the nest, right? If they don't fly, they're useless, and if they do fly, they live?"

"Pretty good," he nodded, "but do you know the mechanics of flight."

"Yeah, no. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not a bird."

"Sure you do," he said once again. "You're close enough to one, right?"

"Right...?" Why was it that the more that I learned, the more confused I became?

He shook his head and expelled a breathy sigh. I could tell that he was getting frustrated. Whether it was at himself or at me, I didn't know. "Look, what I'm trying to say is that every angel is born knowing how to fly. It's kind of like how all babies know how to swim."

"Babies know how to swim?" This was news to me.

"We're moving on."

"Aye, aye."

Jean moved to stand behind me. "Open your wings," he instructed, and I complied. It felt good being in control of something that was now a part of me forever. Kind of like a piercing, or a tattoo. Actually, scratch that. This was nothing like a piercing or a tattoo. "Good. Flap them."

"Flap them?" I asked, hesitance lingering in my voice.

"Yes, flap them. You know, like a bird? A butterfly? Like any other creature that has wings?"

I guess it couldn't be too hard, right? I mean, I knew how to move my wings now, and I had seen Historia do it before, so naturally, I should have been able to flap them.

Concentrating all of my focus onto my wings, I inhaled a deep breath and lurched them forward. Suddenly, my body was propelled backward, directly into Jean's arms. Had he seriously been anticipating that this would happen?

"I knew something like this would happen," he chuckled. Well, there was my answer. "You're wings are  _huge_ , so of course they've got power to them. Not only that, but you started off completely wrong."

It was embarrassing. Having all of the knowledge of a teenager, but possessing the skill sets of an infant, it was really, truly embarrassing. "Can't you show me through a visual demonstration?" I groaned. "You know, like Historia did?"

"Actually," Jean said, "that is exactly what I was planning on doing next."

"So, what was the purpose of what I just did right now?" I asked.

"There wasn't one," he admitted. "I wanted to watch you mess up again."

"What ever happened to that truce we made?!" I shouted. "You know, the one where you said you would stop acting like a jerk to me?"

"That was regular Jean's truce," he grinned. "Right now, I'm teacher Jean."

"Ugh, whatever." I was so mad. "Be a teacher, then, and teach me how to fly!"

I didn't know why, but Jean's eyebrow arched as he gave me a once over. "Actually," he said, "it doesn't look like I have to."

"What do you mean?" I was so annoyed, and seriously growing tired of asking so many questions.

"Look at yourself," he stated, offering out his hand as a gesture. "You're already flying."

Somehow, through my fit of frustration, I hadn't even realized that my feet had left the ground. Neither that, nor the fact that my wings had started moving back and forth in a quick, rhythmic pattern all on their own. Why was it that the moment such a thing had been brought to my attention, my wings had snapped shut and I was on the ground again?

"See? I told you that you already knew how to do it," Jean said approvingly. "It's just gotta be a natural thing. You can't force it, it just happens. I mean, I guess I kind of pried it out of you, by getting your temper up. It's pretty cool, though, how anger makes you learn faster."

I tuned Jean out. I was far too fascinated by my own accomplishment to even process what he was saying. Oh my God, had I actually done it? Just a second ago, I was  _really_  flying. No gears or wires were holding me up. It was all me. All of it. Just me.

"Um, Eren?" I guess I must have been spaced out for too long, because Jean had decided to wave a hand in front of my face.

"Let's fly," I said, speaking eagerly and quickly.

"Huh? What?"

"Jean, come on!" I coaxed, unable to cleanse myself of my giddiness and overjoyed feeling of satisfaction. "Let's fly!"

Before he knew it, and even before I knew it, I had grabbed his arm and had pulled him up into the air with me. He was capable of flying on his own, so he shrugged himself free from my grasp.

"You're really excited, aren't you?" he smirked.

"Hell yeah! This is so cool! I can't believe I'm doing this!"

His smirk became something more genuine, but even that was gone before I could comment on it. "Oh yeah? Well, you know what?"

"What?"

"You and me," he used his thumb to gesture at the both of us, "let's have a race."

Narrowing my eyes, I nodded. I was always up for a good competition. "You're on."

We had taken off without a moment's notice. There was no countdown, just flocks of feathers left in our tracks.

To avoid collision, I assumed, Jean flew from below, and it had become an unspoken agreement that I would fly from above. We hadn't set a goal, nor did I know where I was going, but the rush of warm air that blew across my face and tousled my feathers was so amazing that I didn't even care.

That ecstatic feeling was only until I had completely blacked out.

* * *

_"You're going to be okay! Damnit, Eren! You're going to make it out of this mess alive, do you hear me?!"_

* * *

Jean told me, after the fact, after I had come to, that it looked as if I had been knocked unconscious. He said I hadn't crashed into anything, because really, there wasn't anything around  _to_  crash into. He asked me what had happened, what was wrong. My response must have made no sense.

"I need to find him."

"What?" he asked. His eyebrows were knit together with unmistakeable confusion. "What are you-?"

"I need to find him," I repeated. My tone sounded nearly robotic.

"Find who, Eren?" Jean persisted to ask. "Find  _who_?"

I shook my head. I shook it again, and again, and again, until it started to hurt. "I-I don't know," I responded. "I don't know, I don't, I-"

"Eren, what are you  _saying_? Look at me and answer me properly."

I looked at him, and I answered him properly. "I don't know who I'm looking for, Jean," I said, and that was the honest truth. I swallowed roughly. "But somehow, I know exactly where he is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Chappy here!
> 
> Wow, this chapter was not only a behemoth to write, but a behemoth to proofread and edit, too. It's 4,300+ words. That is a huge accomplish for me, oh my gosh. I honestly don't know if all of the chapters to come will be of the same length, but wow, just wow.
> 
> Anywho, thank you very much for taking the time to read! I hope you've enjoyed!
> 
> \- Chappy


	4. Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's insatiable desire to find this person, this "he", becomes his main, driving force.

Jean looked at me like I was crazy, which in reality, I kind of was. I mean, first things first, I'm up in the air, flying a heated race with him, then the next thing you know, I'm a heap-of-a-mess on the ground, knocked unconscious. Afterward, I start blubbering something about how I have to find someone, someone who surely I don't even know...right? Yeah, I'm definitely crazy.

"You said he," Jean pinpointed, repeating something that I myself hadn't even picked up on.

"...Did I?" I asked. I tried my best to remember, but I really couldn't recall any usage of a masculine pronoun. If I really had said it, that would mean that my subconscious was labeling this person as male. But why?

Jean nodded. He fit his hands into his hips thoughtfully. "You said, word for word, 'I need to find  _him_ ,' and 'I don't know who I'm looking for, Jean, but somehow, I know exactly where  _he_  is.' Do I have to repeat myself again?"

"No, no," I shook my head. "You don't, it's just, I'm really confused." Jean cocked his head at me, but remained silent. He was probably giving me the chance to organize my thoughts, before feeding me some of his own, which believe you me, I'm sure he had.

"If I could put what I'm feeling into words," I began slowly, pensively, "I would say that I feel drawn to something, well, someone, no actually,  _him_. I feel like I need to be there with him right now. Like, this very second. I feel a bit stir crazy and anxious." I took the time to meet his gaze. His expression looked amused, but I didn't understand why. "Jean, what is this? You know what's wrong with me, don't you?"

He snorted, a noise that caused my lips to curve downward. "You know," he said, sounding very much like a know-it-all, "I have a bit of an inkling why you're feeling this way, but I want to check it over with Historia first. I'm like, ninety-eight point seven percent sure that this is the reason why, but that one point three percent could very well be a means for further investigation."

"...What?"

"Pay no mind to it. Let's go find Historia." He looked at me skeptically. "Are you well enough to fly on your own, or do I have to carry you?"

I scoffed at him. Who did he think he was? Offering to carry me like that, geez. I was perfectly capable of doing anything that he was, completely and totally on my own. He must have forgotten who ranked a single place mark higher than him all of those years, way back when. Here's a little hint: it was me.

"I can fly on my own, okay?" I knew I sounded irritated. Jean must have picked up on it.

"Alright, alright," he breathed, holding up his hands as if to surrender. "Remember, I'm not trying to baby you or anything, because God, that's the  _last_ thing I want to do. I know you're capable, and I'll give it to you that you're a pretty spiffy flyer, but dude, you just passed out. I know I'd be a little wary of flying around at any altitude, high or low, after that."

To prove a point, I spread my wings and purposefully hit him in the face with the tips of my feathers. "I'm  _fine_ ," I groaned. No matter how often Jean told me that he wasn't trying to coddle me, I still felt like I was talking to my mom. Wow, my mom. I wondered how she was doing. After all, her only son just died, and the last thing she said to him was that she would give him money for a new alarm clock. Damn, the freaking alarm clock again.

Bending at the knee, I propelled myself into the air. Jean was quick to join, but I could tell that he was still keeping a watchful eye on me. When I glanced over at him, he looked away so fast that I could swear he was going to give himself whiplash.

"Jean, I'm fine," I said again. Given that my wings were undoubtedly lopsided, I found myself leaning to my left. I wanted to prove to him that I really was okay, so I balanced myself and leveled out my course of flight. "See?" From Jean's snobbish reply, I could tell that he was impressed. It was just enough to feed my ego.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," he sighed. "You're a good flyer. A lot better than I was, when I first started out."

"Yeah, I know," I snickered. "Historia already told me that, remember? She said you were awful."

"She didn't say that I was awful!" Jean shouted. "She only said that I fell down a lot."

"That's the same as being awful."

"Whatever," he grumbled. "I think I liked it better when you were unconscious."

His words had been like a trigger to me. Suddenly, my heart was racing and my fingertips felt numb. It was beyond my knowledge that I had also started flying at a faster pace, that was, until Jean yelled at me to slow down. My response was instant.

"I need to find him."

"Oh God, not this again. Eren, we're almost there." He wasn't able to catch up to me as quickly as I'm sure he would have liked to. That must have been a major blow to his pride. Suddenly, he grabbed my arm. "See, look? There's Historia. I see her." He called for her. "Hey, Historia!"

Jean's landing was graceful; mine, not so much. That blow to his pride? Yeah, it was more than likely patched up and cemented with just that one instance.

"Eren!" she called to me first. "Oh, mi Dios!"

"I...what?" I had been pulled away from my trance for just long enough to realize that her language sounded foreign to me. Spanish, maybe?

"Oh, lo sien-I mean," she corrected herself, "I'm sorry, Eren. I've been brushing up on my Spanish skills lately. I want to be able to speak fluently with Maria, when she wakes up. Isn't that funny? Her name is Maria and we're in a place called Maria, too! The moment she was born, she kept asking me where she was, so I would reply, and she would get horribly confused. She thought I was calling her name! It's a funny story, but it's not what's important right now. You're flying! And you looked so good up there, too! Congratulations, Eren!"

I rubbed the back of my neck. I was beginning to feel a bit bashful. "Uh, thanks," I replied slowly. "I'm glad that I learned how to fly so quickly. Well,  _learned_  isn't the right word, right?"

Historia nodded understandingly. "That's right," she smiled. "Jean must have given you his good 'ole how-do-birds-fly routine. He does that trick with everyone, you know. Some people pick up on the instinctive nature of it, but some don't. I knew that you'd be able to get the hang of flying pretty easily. I know I've already said it, but I'll say it again. You really did look  _so_  good up there. It's true. You were merely destined to become an angel."

"Historia, stop," Jean said, totally butting in on my pride ride. "You're spoiling him way too much." And he just felt the need to add, "Not only that, but he fell, you know."

Historia gasped, her eyes scanning my body for bruises or bumps. "Oh, my goodness, are you okay, Eren? You're not hurt, are you?"

Oh, boy. Here we go again. "No, I'm not hurt," I sighed dramatically. "I just blacked out for a bit, or whatever, and I fell. It's no biggie,  _really_."

Instead of looking at me again, Historia slowly turned her gaze to Jean. "Did he just say that he...?"

"Yup," he nodded at her. "Tell her what else happened, Eren."

"Oh, I, uh..." I hated being put on the spot. I really, really hated it. It made me feel all nervous and disgusting.

"Come on, Eren," Jean said, prodding me with his finger. "Don't be shy." I felt like punching him.

Bringing one of my wings forward, I mindlessly began to play with a few of my feathers. They were so soft and comforting that they proved to be just the right push that I had needed to speak up properly. "I need to find someone," I finally said, certain of my statement.

"Find someone?" Historia tilted her head curiously. "Find who, Eren?"

"That's the problem," I answered. I began to feed my fingers through my feathers. I could just barely feel their hard quills. "I don't know  _who_  it is that I'm looking for, but I do know that I'm looking for someone who is male."

"But, Eren," she spoke hesitantly, "that could be anybody, right? Anybody who's a boy?"

I began to pace. I felt like a teacher. No, I felt like Jean. Teacher Jean. Darnit. "No, that's not it," I corrected her. "The person I'm looking for, I know exactly where he is. I can feel it and it hurts. I was telling Jean just before we met up with you that I  _need_  to be with him. I need to make sure he's alright, that he's eating properly, that he's getting enough sleep, that he's-"

"Eren." If Jean would have been the one to interrupt me, I would have been ticked, but seeing as it was Historia, and seeing as her voice was so, ridiculously soothing, I didn't feel the least bit of anger towards her. "I think I've heard enough."

"Oh, I..." I was starting to feel embarrassed all over again. "Was I rambling too much? I didn't mean it, I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize, Eren," she smiled reassuringly, "but there is one more thing that I  _do_  need from you."

My interest had been piqued. What could Historia have possibly needed from me? From  _me_? Couldn't she have asked Jean for it? Wait, I didn't even know what "it" was yet. "What is it?" I asked.

"I need your word," Historia responded firmly. "I need your absolute word, Eren. Basically, I need you to promise me something. I need you to promise me that regardless of the circumstances, you will do anything and everything in your power to protect this person that you so desperately need to find. That's all I need."

Again, I felt as if fuel had just been added to my inner flame. Something about her word choice, something about her posture, and something about the way each and everyone one of her words rolled off of her tongue made me stand a little bit taller, think a little bit wiser, and raise my wings just a little bit higher. I was mesmerized by my own sturdiness.

"I will do everything in my power, no, everything in and _beyond_  my power to serve, provide for, and protect him. I need to find him. I need to make sure that he's alright. I need to be with him. I need to  _guard_  him."

And there it was. Suddenly, it was if everything made sense in the world. I knew what I had to do. Even before Historia gave me a nod, even before Jean patted my shoulder, I knew what my purpose was. I was finally able to understand what they had meant by the fact that it was something you had to figure out for yourself, something that you had to figure out all on your own. No one could have told me to feel what I was feeling. The sensations were all too real. The desire, the need, the want, they were all so vivid, and they were all mine.

"Eren," Historia murmured gently, "do you know what this means?"

I nodded. I knew exactly what it meant. For good measure, I presumed, she said it anyway.

"Congratulations, Eren," she giggled. "You are now officially a guardian angel."

* * *

Before my departure, because apparently that's what you do when you figure out your purpose, you depart, Historia and Jean took extra time in preening my wings. If I was going to meet the human whom I was destined to protect for the rest of their life, I had to look nice, right? Jean on my left wing, Historia on my right, I felt as if I were some sort of royal figure and that they were my servants. I didn't say such a thing aloud, though. That would have been really rude.

"Say, uh, guys?" I began to ask. My question broke the comfortable silence.

Historia was the first to oblige me. "Yes, Eren?"

Jean was next. "Yeah?"

"I've been wondering," I said, trying my best not to fidget, "since I'm going to be a guardian angel now, does this mean that the person I'm in charge of guarding, are they in some sort of danger?"

"Not necessarily," Historia answered. "It's all about destiny, you know? You were reborn with the duty of guarding this person, whether they need you to or not. It's a bit pessimistic to think of it that way, though. I like to see it as, no matter where you come from or what you do, everyone can use their own, personal guardian angel."

Historia was right. Everyone could use a guardian angel. Heck, I probably could have used one, too, on the day of my death. But wait...

"Jean, Historia, can humans  _see_  their guardian angels? How about touch? Am I going to be nothing more than a ghost to this person?"

"Eren, you're not a ghost," Jean spoke sternly. "That's a whole different notion that we're not going to get into right now."

Historia nodded in agreement. "Jean's right, Eren. It's pretty taboo for us angels to speak of ghosts, but to answer your questions, it's a bit complex."

I grew concerned. "How so?" I wondered.

"Well," Historia was speaking, "it goes something like this. If you have ever, in any of your lifetimes, crossed paths with and interacted with the person that you're destined to protect, they will be able to see, as well as touch and communicate with you. It's pretty amazing, isn't it? It's like the whole 'I was touched by an angel' sort of thing. Not only that alone, Eren, but if you meet up with anyone that you have ever had interactions with, they will be able to see and talk to you, too. The only difference is that they will not be able to touch you. That's a right reserved for only your guarded human."

Surprisingly, her response made complete and utter sense to me. Still, it left me wanting to know more.

I asked, "Historia, how often is it that a guardian angel is destined to protect someone that they've known in a prior lifetime?"

I didn't have to see her face to know that she was looking at Jean, and that Jean was looking at her. I was pretty sure from that alone that I had my answer.

"The odds are..." she began slowly, but it was Jean who finished for her.

"Don't bet on it, Eren," he sighed. He was one who most definitely did  _not_ sugarcoat the truth. "We've conversed with only two guardian angels who have been destined to guard someone that they've known through a previous lifetime. That's how we got our information on the whole touching and seeing thing. Even though it's fairly possible that you can be assigned to guarding more than one human, like Marco with his children, the chances of being destined to someone that you know are ridiculously slim, basically non-existent."

Why did I feel so disappointed by that? I mean, it would have been really cool to be the guardian angel for someone that I knew, like maybe my mom or something, but the absolute grief that I felt was almost overwhelming. Not only that, but I knew that my destined human was male. My dad, maybe? Yeah, hopefully not.

Suddenly, Historia had left my wing and was in front of me. She was handing me something soft. "Here," she smiled. "For your tears."

My tears? I touched my cheek. Well, crap. I was crying.

"Oh, thanks..." I said, carefully taking the, what I assumed to be, handkerchief from her. I dabbed my eyes and wiped my nose.

"It's a lot to take in, so it's okay to cry." Why was it that her words were so comforting to me?

"Yeah, but don't make a habit of it, Eren," Jean snickered, giving my wings a final once over. "It's unsightly for an angel to cry. We've gotta be the strong ones. We're the comforters, not the comfortees."

"Is that even a word?" I chuckled.

"Shut up. I was trying to make a point."

I held up one of my index fingers, indicating the point. Through a gesture with my opposing index, I made a motion of saying that he was off the point. It ticked him off and I loved it.

" _Boys_ ," Historia chided in a stern, motherly tone. We were forced to make a truce. Again.

Well, that was it. I had my goal, I knew where I was going, and most of all, I felt  _good_. Maybe it was because I cried for a bit. Mom always said that it was good to cry every once in a while.

My wings felt good, too. Actually, they felt  _really_  good. Unlike before, when they were still fresh and new, they didn't hurt anymore. They felt strong, steady, like I was in control. It made me want to fly right that second.

I was so excited that I began flapping my wings in an attempt to calm myself down.

"Whoa, Eren!" Jean laughed. "Feather alert, feather alert!"

I started laughing, too. "Sorry, sorry! I'm too excited, I can't help it!"

Clapping her hands together, Historia cooed happily at me. "I'm so glad to hear that, Eren!" she praised. "And I'm sure your human will be very excited to meet you, too, whoever  _he_  is."

Waving her arm, she drew my attention toward a double-door structure that, I'm sure, was not there before. It was tall, but it was slim. It was a big enough size for one person and one person alone. She ushered me toward it. "These doors," she explained, "serve as the gate between Maria and Earth. They only open for those who are truly ready to return to the world of humans. So, Eren Yeager, I must formally ask you, are you ready to return to the human world, to seek out your destined human, and to protect, serve, and guard them for as long as they may live?"

I nodded firmly, and before I could even get the words out, the doors had burst open with a force so strong, I had nearly been sucked right through them.

"Damn!" Jean stated appreciatively. "I've never seen them open like that before! You're just full of surprises, aren't you, Eren?"

I was still a bit baffled myself, but I managed a nod of acknowledgment. "Yeah, I...I guess so."

"Well, Eren," Historia breathed, "I guess this is goodbye. No, that's wrong. We'll see each other again. So, until then..."

"Go an' get 'im, Eren!" Jean said supportively. He gave me a slap over my shoulder.

Historia giggled sweetly. Lurching forward, she embraced me warmly. I could tell that she wasn't the least bit fearful of the idea that she may or may not have been pushing any boundaries.

"You'll be fine, Eren," she whispered, "I know it. Best of luck to you."

"Thanks," I smiled. "Really, thank you. Both of you."

With a final statement such as that, I was off. I jumped through the doors and I spread my wings wide. The air beneath my feathers served as my cushion, holding me up, balancing out my flight, and propelling me forward. Curiosity tempted me to look back, but my better judgement caused me to refrain from doing so. I had a goal, a mission, and I was determined to complete it.

It was a bit strange. Somehow, I felt that the gateway between Maria and Earth would have been at a higher altitude, somewhere where I would have had to fly downward in a neat and orderly fashion. That would have been super cool, but it wasn't the case. No, the altitude that I flew at was low, just above the pointed rooftops of a suburban town.

It was nighttime, and boy, did it feel good to have a distinction over time again. My guess was that it was somewhere around five or six in the evening. Given that it was standard time, and the fact that the sun tended to have a funny little habit of setting so early, a better guess would be toward the latter.

Turning my angle, I started flying just a bit lower. I was curious, of course, so began peering into all of the windows of the houses that I passed by. In some windows I saw empty nurseries. In others, I saw gathered families, but one window in particular caused me halt altogether.

I slowed my pace, steadying my wings into a regular rhythm that kept me afloat. I took a closer look, rubbing away the foggy condensation that my breath had caused. I gasped.

The room I was peeking into, it was, yet again, another nursery. However, this nursery was different. Not only was there a small, finicky little baby laying within a wooden crib, but situated above the child, staring down at him or her with an expression of absolute peace, was an angel. A  _real_  angel. An angel just like me.

I don't know why I did it, but I knocked on the window. It was apparent from the way the other angel had jolted slightly that I had startled her. She looked up, quickly meeting my gaze. Slowly, all fright had washed away from her face and she smiled at me, even going as far as giving a gentle wave, a wave that I returned nervously.

She brought her forefinger to her lips, gesturing for me to be quiet, before pointing down at the baby below. I chuckled. As if the baby could actually hear me. Yeah, right.

With another wave, this one a wave of farewell, I flew from the window and continued on the route toward my destination.

It was weird. I couldn't tell if I was close or not, but all I knew was that I was heading in the right direction. I could only imagine that the second I came in close quarters with my destined human, I would be overcome with an overwhelming desire to connect with them, right? Yeah, I could only imagine.

I flew for what felt like days, but in reality, it had only been hours. My wings hadn't been trained enough, and my lack of stamina was a clear indicator of that. I had already stopped for a breather at least five times, and was about to perch myself on the top of a small tree for my sixth when I had felt it. It was a distinct, nauseating sort of feeling that made my stomach churn and my wings spasm. All of a sudden, I was full of energy and coasting through the air.

Like before, I still didn't know where I was going. Well, I knew where I was going, but I didn't. I knew where my wings were taking me, obviously they were taking me to my human, but I couldn't make out a single landmark that I breezed by.

Faster and faster, my wings began to flap harder and harder. It was funny. For a brief moment, I almost wanted to shout, "Slow down!" but who would I have been shouting at? Myself?  _I_  was the one who was flying like a maniac.

My eyes scanned high and low, left to right, up and down. I probably should have realized it sooner, but it seemed as if I was flying around some sort of college campus. There were people below, but not many. I guessed that most of the students that attended said school must have had classes scheduled during the day. But not my human. No, he was there, somewhere on the premises. I could sense him.

I continued to glide around the campus, flying past dormitories and peeking into classrooms. My search was heated, but it ended up with me being empty-handed. Whoever my destined human was, he must have been on the move. I carried on.

Even though I was already flying faster than my oversized wings could handle, I pushed myself to pick up my pace even more. I felt uneasy and sick. How come Jean or Historia didn't tell me anything about this? Maybe they didn't want to freak me out, or maybe I truly was like Jean had said: I was just full of surprises.

Ultimately, my wings ended up guiding me out of the campus and toward a nearby shopping plaza. I found it peculiar how much control I had lost over them in such a short span of time, but I didn't mind it. As long as they brought me to him, I would be...

"Hey, Levi! Wanna catch a movie tonight?"

In a mess of catastrophe, my wings collapsed inward and I spiraled spectacularly to the ground. I must have fallen from a height of a good twenty to thirty feet. My head ached, oh, did it ache. I wanted to sleep. I was so incredibly tired, but I couldn't sleep just yet.

I struggled to raise my head. I needed to see him. I needed to see...

"Oh, my God! What the Hell is that thing?!"

My head dropped to the pavement. I fell unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Chappy here!
> 
> Finally, finally, finally! Eren's long awaited ( I say long awaited, but it's only been four chapters ) reunion with Levi! I sure hope it didn't disappoint!
> 
> I'm super impressed with myself for being able to match last week's chapter in having another chapter of 4,300+ words in length. Who knows if I'll be able to keep this up. We'll see, we'll see.
> 
> Anywho, thank you very much for taking the time to read!
> 
>  
> 
> \-- Chappy


	5. French Fries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions are asked, answers are told, things are learned.

I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me flush up against his hunched over form. His bony fingers felt cold against my skin. At the time, I liked how it felt. It was comforting, soothing. Now, it was harsh reminder of what could have been and what used to be.

I felt his fingers brush against mine, desperate to grab a hold, desperate to keep me alive. It was just like old times, when we were both so full of life and so full of each other. It was like the first time he held my hand, when he told me to never tell a soul. I had kept that promise. I still keep it. I didn't tell anyone, but that didn't stop them from finding out about us on their own.

The first time we had kissed, I had been, in all of my erratic eagerness, the one to initiate it, but  _he_  was the one who kept it going for much longer than I had anticipated. He fed fire to our lips, saturating them in lighter fluid. My only intention had been for maybe a gentle peck or two, but it was certain that he had had an entirely different motive.

In a mess of milestones, the first time we had kissed melted into the first time we had explored one another's interests, followed by the first time we had seen one another completely in the nude, concluding with the first time we had made love. We were young by worldly standards, and for the love of God, we were only human. Human in a world full of disaster. Human in a world among beasts.

That night had been the best night of my entire life. For the rest of the evening, up until the light of dawn had filtered through the window as a warning of morning, we had held one another, simply enjoying each other's company. He held my hand and I held his. It was beautiful.

I can still remember asking him if we were in love. He had scoffed and told me that after all we had been through together, all we had done to one another, we sure as Hell better be. I kissed him after that, and then the rest is a blur.

A blur like my vision, a mask of murky sight. His arms grew tighter around my shoulders, but his hold never once felt suffocating. My lack of breath had been a symptom of my own, pending decease. It was hot, hot like the summers where we rolled around in the dried up grass and pretended like we were the only ones that ever mattered in the world. I loved those summers. It was horribly selfish of me, but I wanted them back. More than anything, I just wanted them back...

_"You're going to be okay!"_

No, I wasn't. I wasn't, and you knew it. That's the only reason why you ever said it. You knew I wasn't going to make it, but you wanted to believe that I was. That I would have lived through it, that I would have made it out of that swarm of Titans alive, just like I'm sure you did.

_"Damnit, Eren!"_

That's my name, but it didn't suit you to yell it that way. I much rather preferred it when you were whispering it sweetly in my ear, when you were moaning it ravenously against the back of my neck, when you were sighing it unconsciously in your sleep.

_"You're going to make it out of this mess alive!"_

The last thing I had wanted to happen was for you to feed me follies on my deathbed. Well, "death lap" should have been more like it. I wanted you to be honest with me, tell me brutally that hey, I was about to die. That was it, and that was the end. But you didn't it want it to be. You had wanted me to listen to every last thing that you had to say. And so I did. I listened.

"Do you hear me?"

Yes, I hear...wait. Yes, yes I do hear you. I hear you right now. I hear you as if you're right there, as if you're right here with me.

"Do you think he's dead?!"

Wait, what? Who is that? What are you talking about? That's not your voice.

"He's not dead. Look at him. He's moving."

I'm not dead? But I am, aren't I? The Titans got me and this is just...what is this? My head hurts. My shoulders hurt. Everything hurts.

"Should we try moving him?!"

"Don't be stupid. If we move him, we might end up hurting him more."

It was as if I was rousing from some sort of long and heavy dream. I could feel the consciousness as it pooled in my brain and spread throughout my veins. "Ugh..." I groaned, because really, that was all I could manage to do for the time being.

"Hey, can you hear me?"

Yes, I thought it was long ago established that I could hear you just fine. Oh, wait. I had to use a little thing called words to express that. I tried my hand at them. "Mmn..." And I failed miserably.

"Should we call 911?!"

"Didn't I tell you not to be stupid? We can't call an ambulance for someone like him. He's..."

Not human. I'm not human. That's what you wanted to say, right? That I was some, real life freak of nature. That couldn't have been farther from the truly, because in actuality, I was an...

"Holy crap! Wait a second, wait a second!" Yelling. What was with the yelling? Why did there have to be so much yelling?

"Hange, cut it out."

"But, Levi, look! He has wings! Like, real, legit wings! Holy crap, do you think he's a fallen angel?! A real, legit fallen angel?!"

" _Hange_."

Hold up. Did he just say...?

"Levi, I can't believe this! We need to take pictures! Quick, give me your cell phone-!"

In a flock of feathers, I was up and on my feet, not only startling myself, but startling the two individuals who had been leaning over me, checking to see if I was alright, or maybe, checking to see  _what_  I was. I was dizzy, but I pushed through it. That name. I needed to hear it again.

With an unsure step, I nearly stumbled forward. Luckily, my wings flared outward, balancing my footing and saving me from my fall. Like I needed another one of those.

"Uh...?"

My head shot upward. My eyes must have been wider than ever before, because surely, I had never felt the strain of my very own eyelids, prior to this moment. My hands felt sweaty and my knees felt weak. I could feel the threat of another stumble of some sort coming on, but my wings were right there, spread out and spread large, protecting me from such a tragedy. I needed to hear his name again. I needed to hear his voice.

"You, i-it, i-it's you. You're, y-you're, i-it's..." Was I nervous? Was I excited? Why couldn't I tell?

"Hmm? What is it? You're interested in him?" It was the other person who was talking, and he was talking to me. I didn't know what to say anymore, so I nodded and kept quiet. I just wanted to hear his name. "You're interested in Levi?"

And graciously, there it was. That was it. That was his name. Levi. Lance Corporal Levi. Humanity's strongest soldier. Humanity's guide to freedom. My past life hero. My past life lover.

This had been one of those scenarios that, if I had been a dog, my tail would had started wagging uncontrollably. However, I wasn't a dog. I was an angel, so my wings served to suffice. They began to flap wildly, vivaciously, sending feathers flying all about in undisclosed directions.

"Levi..." I started, while the corners of my lips began to lift slowly. "Levi...Levi, it's you! Oh my God, it's you! Corporal, sir! It really is you, isn't it? Isn't it?"

It had to have been him. Shave off a few years on his age, and he looked exactly the same as I remembered. His greyish eyes were still beady, his gaze still narrow. His hair was still as black burnt charcoal, and it was still parted and trimmed in the very same way. Who would've thunk that such a style would still be considered "within the trend" all of these years later? It wasn't the 800s anymore.

He was cocking an eyebrow at me, but that had been no hindrance of my further examination of him. His height, man, he hadn't grown a single centimeter. Without standing on the tips of his toes, I still had a good four or five inches on him. His clothes, albeit modern, still represented the distinctive definition of his former self. He was wearing a dark green hoodie, matched with denim skinny jeans and low-cut combat boots. Not exactly fashionable, but perfect for someone like him. And in his hands was...a paper bag of some sort? Food, maybe? All of these trivial things were the least of my concern. All I cared about was him, for far more reasons than one alone.

"Uh, yeah?" he said, but he didn't sound certain of himself. "That is my name, but how do you know it?"

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. "How do I know it?" Wait, hold on. "What do you mean?" Please, wait. "Of course I know your name! Levi, it's me! Eren! Eren Yeager!"

I watched, as a look of utter confusion overcame his facial features, I watched him back away from me. I watched him take that first step, and then another, followed by a third and that was it. I didn't need any more explanation than that. It was obvious, as well as it was clear.

Levi did not have any recollection of his past. He had no idea who I was.

I calmed my wings immediately, doing my best to keep a friendly face as I smiled at him and bowed my head. My heart was weighting my chest down like a boulder, but I had to grin and bear it, if only just for now. "Sorry for that," I apologized, even though I was hardly sorry at all, "I'm probably scaring you."

"You're not really scaring me," he sighed, "you're just-"

"Whoa! Holy crap, I can't believe this! Are you moving those wings all on your own?! Do you have full control over them?!"

"Hange," Levi groaned, but I was already turning around to face the other man. In my over-excited frenzy, I must have neglected the fact that he had moved to stand behind me. He must have been inspecting my wings, otherwise he wouldn't have brought up such a topic.

"Well, yes, they are, and yes, I do," I answered. I tried to sound as polite as possible. I didn't want to mess with the whole, perfect ideal that humans had set forth for angels. For good measure, I began fluttering my wings for him.

He squealed in delight. "This is incredible! Oh my God, this is so cool! Levi, are you even seeing this?!"

No, he probably wasn't. He was too busy balancing a bag of something or other in one hand, while pressing the index and middle fingers of his other to the center of his furrowed brow. This Hange person was getting on his nerves, I could tell that much. I could tell...wait, Hange? Why did that name sound so familiar?

Whatever the case, Hange was running around me again, trying to get a better glance of my back. He'd probably have a field day with what I was about to say, too.

I spun on my heel, and was instantly presented with Hange's pouting lips and Levi's disinterested expression. I inhaled deeply. If only Jean and Historia were with me right now. I felt more confident with them around.

"Look, I know this is really confusing," I said, all but willing my voice to remain steady, "but before we get of topic, there's something very important that I need to say."

Luckily, Levi appeared as if he had obtained a glimmer of intrigue. "I'm all for hearing it," he replied. "What about you, Hange?"

"Oh, yes!" Hange spoke excitedly. "Please! Please do say something important!"

Again, I inhaled deeply.  _'Oh, boy,'_ I thought. _'Here I go.'_

"I think it's pretty obvious, but it wouldn't hurt to confirm it," I smiled shyly. "Well, I'm an angel."

"I knew it!" Hange cheered. "I knew it, didn't I?! Didn't I?!"

"Hange, let him finish," Levi scolded.

"Oops, sorry!" he giggled. "I'm sorry, Mr. Angel, sir. Please continue!"

Whilst retaining my smile, I nodded. "Thanks, but you don't have to call me that. Actually, I'd prefer it if you didn't. My name is Eren, so please feel free to call me that. No 'Mr. Angel Eren sir' or anything like that. It's not necessary. Anyways, I, erm...Levi?"

Thankfully, he looked at me. "Um, yes?"

"You see, I'm not just an ordinary angel," I said, and with a burst of that confidence I had been looking for before, my wings opened wide and displayed their enormous, uneven size for both Levi and Hange to see. "I'm a guardian angel. I'm  _your_  guardian angel."

* * *

On the walk back to wherever, many questions were asked, questions that I provided as best of an answer as I could muster. It was funny to me how some of the questions they had asked were the very same questions I had asked both Jean and Historia.

"Can other people see you?" Levi asked first. A gust of November wind caused him to swear and zip up his hoodie.

My wings had been feeling restless, so instead of walking along side them, I opted for a low, gliding pace from above. "Not everyone," I responded, deciding to keep the answer to that question in particular relatively cryptic. "Only a select, few people can."

"Huh," Levi acknowledged. "Cool, I guess."

"Cool?!  _Cool_?! That's all you have to say to that?!" Hange belted out. "It's freaking awesome! We're like, super special humans, or something!"

"I highly doubt that's what he meant by that," Levi sighed.

As they continued to bicker, I focused on a different sound: the sound of Levi's combat boots. I listened to the way they dug into the loose gravel and slid against the pavement with every step. It was nostalgic in so many ways that it had nearly thrown me into a dazed daydream. I couldn't let myself get into one of those right now, though. Not when questions were being thrown my way, and most definitely not when I was in mid-air.

"So, Eren," Hange said, speaking in a much reformed tone, "do you have a certain purpose for coming here? To Earth, that is? Like, is Levi about to experience some sort of disastrous doom, or something?"

I had to chuckle at that all-too-familiar question. "Nothing that I'm aware of," I answered, smiling down at him. He didn't see it. He was too busy sneaking a French fry out of the paper bag that he was holding to take notice. It felt good to know that my guess had been right about the bag, though. "All I know is that, back where I came from, just earlier today, I felt a sudden urge, a strong impulse if you will, to be here, right here, with him. With Levi."

Levi almost choked on his French fry, while Hange started to coo. "That's  _so_  cute! It's just so cute that I could die! Levi, isn't it cute?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full," was Levi's response.

"But my mouth isn't fu-mnph?!" While Hange was talking, Levi had reached into the paper bag. He had balled up a fist full of French fries and shoved them directly into Hange's mouth. He was silent for a good five seconds or so, however long it took for him to chew and swallow.

"You know," he said, wiping the salt at the corner of his mouth, "Erwin's going to be pissed at you for wasting his fries."

Wait, Erwin? _The_  Erwin? As in, the 13th Commander of the Scouting Legion, Erwin Smith, Erwin?

Fitting the paper bag into a nook between his elbow and his waist, Levi rubbed his hands together. Were they cold? I didn't like that. "Whatever," he said. "I think he'll be more intrigued by the story we have for him, rather than some stupid French fries."

Hange had begun saying something about how Erwin had specific conditions, maybe something about a French fry fix or whatever, but I was too set on Levi's hands to pay any sort of attention. I interrupted him in mid-sentence.

"Levi, are your hands cold?" I asked.

He looked up at me with noticeable hesitance. "Uh, well, yeah. Kinda, I guess. Why?"

Without a verbal answer, I lowered myself to the ground and trotted to step in front of him. This motion made him stop walking altogether. It was the same for Hange. I didn't need words for what I did next. Grabbing the both of his hands gently, carefully, making sure that the bag of food was still secure, I brought them slowly to my lips and blew into his palms. It was by instinct that I knew this action would cause them to warm up, and just like I had imagined, his knuckles began to flush with color.

Levi slipped his hands out of mine. He was staring up at me with subtle wonder. I didn't blame him, though. He had just been touched by an angel. "How did you...?"

I smiled at him, reaching from below his arm to set the paper bag back into his hands. "It's an angel thing. Pretty neat, huh?"

"I'll say!" Hange beamed. "That was so freaking cool! Ugh! Eren, do it to me, too! Do it do me!"

My eyebrows creased with sympathy, while I turned my gaze toward him and said, "I'm sorry, Hange. Actually, if I were to touch you right now, you wouldn't even be able to feel it. Such a thing is a perk that's reserved for my guarded human only."

"Damnit!" he cursed. "Gosh darnit, Levi. You're so freakin' lucky!"

"Yeah..." Levi said, his voice trailing off in a way that indicated he felt otherwise. "Lucky me."

* * *

When we had finally made our way back to wherever, which was actually not too far from the college campus I had coasted around just a little while ago, it turned out that wherever was actually an apartment complex situated just outside of the college grounds. Based on their age, as well as the location of their housing, from these two, distinctive factors, I was able to hypothesize that Levi, Hange, as well as Erwin were all college students. Maybe I was right. Maybe I was wrong. I didn't know yet.

"Here's your food," Levi said, throwing the bag at someone immediately upon his entry. He had stepped through the threshold of the apartment before Hange and me, who was busily trying to touch my wings to no avail.

"What took you so long?" I heard a voice say. It didn't sound particularly concerned, nor did it sound particularly angry. It sounded like the voice of someone who wanted his French fries.

"There was an incident."

The rustling of the food bag stopped abruptly, and the voice spoke up again. "An incident? What happened? Where's Hange?"

"Here I am!" Hange giggled. He closed the door and rushed into the apartment, motioning with the back of his hand for me to come with him. I complied without resistance. "And you'll never believe what happened!"

"Oh, yeah? Does it have something to do with why half of my fries are gone?"

"Kinda!" Hange chirped. "Levi got an angel!"

"Levi got a...what? Did he buy it, or something? Is it a topper for a Christmas tree?"

"No, no, no! Levi got a  _real_ , legit angel!" Hange was the only one who was visibly excited, flailing his arms about as if they were swimming pool noodles.

"Hange, stop saying legit. It sounds hideous," Levi sighed.

"Eren, get over here!" Hange continued to speak. "Get over here so that Erwin can see you!"

Again, I complied, but this time with mild restraint. Would he even be able to see me? Still, holding on to the tip of one of my wings, I rounded the corner of the entryway and made my presence known. Like Levi, Erwin had nearly choked on one of his French fries.

"Not real!" he exclaimed. "There's no way in Hell that thing can be real!"

"Actually, you should say Heaven, Erwin," Hange falsely corrected.

"No, actually," I spoke up nervously, "I came from a place called Maria. It's neither Heaven nor Hell."

The room fell silent, and I was terribly tempted to recede into my wings. No, really, such a thing didn't sound half bad. I was pretty tired, to be honest.

I shifted my footing, holding my wing all the tighter. That stupid spotlight had been turned on me again and I absolutely hated it. This time, however, it was my own fault. I had practically paid for the fixture, screwed in the bulb, and flipped the darn thing on. Yeah, way to go.

I looked up, meeting the gaze of the former Commander himself. It was him. It was definitely, one-hundred percent him. Just like Levi, he boasted the same hairstyle, the same fashion sense, and even a cheap leather necklace that resembled the same tie from his former leadership. The only difference that I could make out from his commanding days was that, presently, he had a bag of fried food in his hands. He was the first to ease the quiet.

"What did Hange say your name was again?" he asked.

"My name is, it's Eren." The burning desire to add a customary "sir" to the end of my statement was almost uncanny. It forced me to bite the corner of my tongue.

"Eren, huh?" he said in question. "And you're really Levi's angel?"

"Yes, sir." That one had managed to slip through. Darnit. "I'm his guardian angel."

Erwin faced Levi, who in turn, held up his hands in his defense. "Hey, don't give me that look," he said. "I'm just as clueless about this as you are. All Hange and I know is that we were walking back from McDonald's, when Eren fell out of the sky and landed right in front of us. We waited for about five minutes or so, until he had regained his consciousness. After that, we asked him some questions, brought him back with us, and here we are right now." Throughout his explanation, Levi had strolled to and from the kitchen, and was now standing with his hand extended toward Erwin. "Give me a French fry."

Erwin grumbled something about Levi being a mooch, which he answered to with a playful smirk. "It's a French fry," he snickered, "I think you'll live."

"And I think you'd be able to live without one, too," Erwin countered, just as playfully.

"Ah, touche. Now give me a fry."

It was during this back and forth that I had become the very apparent elephant in the room. I began shifting my weight onto either foot again, playing with my feathers to try and keep me calm.

I hadn't realized it at first, but Hange had been trying to get my attention for a minute or two. He wasn't yelling or shouting or anything, so maybe that was why I hadn't noticed. He waved for me to follow him, mouthing the words, "Come here."

I followed him into a messy bedroom, one that was filled with old books and lots of empty Oreo wrappers. It was just my wild guess, but I was pretty sure that this was his bedroom. He ushered me to sit with him on the only unscathed part of his bed. After we were settled, he took a deep breath, releasing it like he had just finished confessing his sins to a priest.

"Eren Yeager, formerly a member of the 104th training division, more presently known for being a part of Lance Corporal Levi's Special Operations Squad. Ranking 5th in his graduation, with no remarkable skills of mastery, his pure determination was his driving force. With the ability to transform into a Titan, he became a formidable ally to all of humanity. His death was sudden and untimely, due to a gaping gash from a Titan's teeth that had severed his internal organs and heavily inflicted the back of his neck. He died at the age of seventeen. He died an unwritten hero."

I stared at him, and for the longest time, neither of us said a word.  _'Hange,'_  I thought.  _'No wonder that name had sounded so familiar.'_  It was blatantly obvious, actually. How else would he have been able to see me, had we not met in a prior lifetime? Hange was...

"Hanji Zoe," he smiled and pushed up his glasses. "That's the name you probably remember me by. Yeah, for some reason, I was reborn as a guy this time. Though, you've probably had your share of being reborn as a girl, too, am I right?"

I nodded, still enchanted by his recital of my prior status. He could sense that and allowed me my moment of reflection upon the memory. When that moment was up, he surprised me by saying something that caught me a bit off guard.

"You've noticed it by now, haven't you?"

"Noticed what?" I asked curiously. I'd noticed a lot of things, but I wanted to make sure that he and I were on the same page.

"You've noticed that," Hange began slowly, solemnly, "Levi and Erwin, you've noticed that they don't have an recollection of their past lives, right?"

His statement had struck me like a chord, but I proceeded to nod yet again.

"They don't remember anything, Eren," he sighed. "To them, the three of us, we're just buddies that met in our freshman year of high school. And you, you're not a former soldier, nor are you a lover. You're just an angel that we found on the side of the road."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here! 
> 
> To all of my American readers, I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving yesterday! I know I did.
> 
> I kept telling myself that, since it's a holiday weekend, if I only made it to 3,000 or so words, I would still be proud of myself. Again, I wrote 4,400+ words. What is wrong with me? I just don't know.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! The cliffhanger isn't as bad this time, right?
> 
> Thank you very much for taking the time to read! I hope you've enjoyed! 
> 
> \-- Chappy


	6. V-neck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi takes Eren under his "wing", showing him around and getting used to the idea of his presence.

I took what Hange had told me with a spoonful of remorse and just a pinch of self-wallowing. It was blatantly obvious that Levi didn't remember anything. If he had, he would have jumped into my arms and he would have told me the words that could make up for all of the time we had lost, all of the lifetimes we had missed each other. Okay, well, maybe he wouldn't have done that exactly, but he most certainly wouldn't have brushed me off as a mere phenomenon.

Hange must have sensed my sudden mood shift. He tried to rest his hand against my shoulder, but his effort was futile. Instead, his fingers merely phased right through. He chuckled lightly, though I could tell that he was trying to play off his embarrassment. "Hey," he said smoothly, "don't get so down, yeah? I mean, it's such a bummer that they don't remember anything, but what are you gonna do, right? At least you and I have the memories."

I didn't understand how he could still be smiling, after telling me something so upsetting. Was I the only one who found it as such? Maybe Hange had just had more time to cope with the matter. After all, he said that he, Erwin, and Levi had all met in high school, right? That gave them a good five or six years of advantage over my pathetic hour.

"Say, Hanji-I mean!" Wow. Had I really just made such a lame slip-up?

Still chuckling, Hange rubbed his hands together and smiled at me. "It's okay, Eren," he spoke assuringly. "It's kind of endearing to have someone call me that. For whatever reason, I've been reborn as a guy for my past three lifetimes. In all honesty, I kind of miss being a woman."

"I can relate to that," I nodded, folding my hands into my lap. It felt right to change the topic. I didn't think I could handle any more painful memories, for the time being. "In my previous lifetime, the one before my last, I mean, I had been a little girl named Ellen."

Hange seemed excited by that. "Really?! That's so precious! Oh, I bet you were so cute!"

"Uh..."

"Oh! Sorry," he apologized, and stood up from the bed, stretching his arms out before him. "You know, I think we should get back to the dueling duo now. I think I hear them feuding over the French fries again."

Hange was right. We needed to get back. For the entirety of our conversation, there had been a stinging itch in my side that, for whatever reason, I knew would subside when I was reunited with Levi. Would this become the norm? My over attachment to him? It must have been a guardian angel thing. I'd get used to it, but would he?

I followed Hange from behind as we re-entered the living room. He had been right, Levi and Erwin  _were_  fighting over the last hand at the French fries, but it wasn't quite like I had imagined it to be. Somehow, watching my former Corporal and Commander playing rock-paper-scissors just didn't sit right with me. It was so...unlike them.

Levi threw out a rock, Erwin threw out a pair of scissors.

"I win," Levi said, reaching for the papery carton. "Give them to me."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Levi," Erwin warned playfully. "We're playing for the winner of two out of three. We're going again."

Erwin threw out a rock, and Levi threw out a piece of paper. He snatched the carton of fries before Erwin could protest his victory. In the midst of his turn to leave the room, Levi's gaze had met with mine. I swallowed nervously.

"Oh, you're still here?" he asked, fitting a limp French fry between his lips.

I was confused by his question. Did he think that I would just dissolve into thin air without notice? It was apparent that he needed to learn a thing or two about angels.

"Of course!" I smiled. "I hope you know that I'm here to stay. It's kind of how this whole guardian angel thing works."

"Oh." He sounded disinterested. "Alright."

I didn't need to hypothesize or think anything through, I  _knew_  it was my presence that had caused the room to fall uncomfortably silent. Or maybe I knew nothing at all. What if the three of them were always this awkward, when they were together?

"This feels weird." Well, there was my answer, and Levi had been the one to say it.

"Weird?!" Hange gasped. "This may very well be the coolest thing that you will ever get to experience in your entire life, and you have the audacity to call it weird?!"

"Well, I'm not going to call it normal."

"No one ever told you to call it that! You'll hurt his feelings!"

Hange had startled me, by conclusively clapping his hands. He'd done so directly next to my ears, and it was an action that had caused me to topple over and for my wings to jut outward in support. In my search for stability, I had ended up knocking over a standing lamp. It was with a sigh of relief that the bulb was left intact.

"Levi," Erwin spoke, addressing the only man who was not at fault, "I agreed for both you and Hange to stay here, but if he is going to become a disturbance to the peaceful life we have living here, I'm going to have to ask you to-"

"He won't."

For some reason, I half expected it to be Hange to come to my defense. He seemed way more interested in my existence, anyways. It was a pleasant surprise, one that I welcomed whole-heartedly, when it had been Levi to do so.

Erwin sighed heavily, as he stood up from the chair. "Make sure of that." I could tell he was speaking to the both of them, both Levi and Hange, that is.

"Aye, aye, Commander!" Hange giggled. I picked up on that, and turned to look at him all too quickly. He shot me a friendly wink.

It was with another sigh that Erwin said, "Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that, Hange? It's irritating."

"Oops!" he smiled. "Force of habit, I guess!"

Rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck, Erwin shook his head at his noisy roommate. "I need to study now. I have a Psychology test tomorrow, so please try to keep the volume to a minimum. Also, keep the TV off. The electricity bill was way too high last month."

Something in the way that Hange rubbed the back of his neck and laughed nervously told me that he was to blame for it. Maybe he'd fallen asleep with the TV on once, twice, possibly even three times.

"That's alright!" Hange seemingly decided. "I'll just hang out in here with Eren!"

"Hang out by yourself," Levi said, grabbing everyone's attention with his statement. "I want Eren to come with me."

With a single gesture of his hand, I found myself rapidly weaving my way over to Levi's side. I say weave, because that's exactly what I had to do. I'd become all too aware of the size of my wings, and to avoid another unnecessary mishap, I squeezed through the space between the coffee table and the couch just to get to him. He didn't seem too impressed by my feat.

"Levi, that's so unfair," Hange whined. "You're hogging Eren all for yourself!"

I watched Levi fold his arms and shrug his shoulders. "Why can't I? He's  _my_  guardian angel, isn't he?"

Hearing such a thing, and coming from him no less, caused my heart to swell. Yes, it was true. I was his. Everything about me, it belonged to him. But we shared a joint-custody of each other, for every part of me that he owned, I guarded and protected on him.

I'm pretty sure Hange could see that I was pleased by what Levi had said, so he dropped his pending complaint. He must have felt the need to add one last thing, though, because he said, "Yeah, I guess you're right." He smiled then, pausing before he concluded his thought. "He's yours."

* * *

Erwin ventured off to what I presumed to be his bedroom, while Levi guided me down a small hallway. "This is where our bathroom and linen closet is," he explained, pointing to each door as we passed by. I'm not sure why he was telling me all of this, and honestly, I don't think he knew why, either. He probably just wanted to make the vibe between the both of us one that was more bearable.

When we reached the last door on the left, he opened it and allowed me to enter first, telling me that it was just incase he had to give me a push from behind to get my wings through the doorway. Luckily, it didn't come to that, and I was able to slip into the room with ease. Looking around, I had to laugh at myself. There was no doubt in my mind that this was his bedroom, but I still felt obliged to ask, "Is this your bedroom?"

"Uh, yeah?" he said, in a questioning tone. "Why are you laughing?"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I quickly apologized. That's right. I couldn't say strange things like, "It's just like you to keep your bedroom spotless," or "You haven't changed at all." Thinking on the fly, I came up with something that seemed decent enough to verbalize. "I just didn't imagine that someone like you would keep your room so clean. I thought all boys had messy bedrooms."

"Yeah, well, not me," he mumbled, kicking off his combat boots, and resting them delicately beside a shoe rack. "Erwin and Hange would live like pigs, if it weren't for me. I clean this place top to bottom every Wednesday. I don't touch their bedrooms, though. I'm pretty sure Hange's is full of toxins, while Erwin would kick me out of this place, if I so much as touched anything of his."

That sounded a bit extreme to me, but I chose not to comment on it. I strolled over to his bureau, trying to figure out all of the things on top of it. A hair product, a comb, a stick of deodorant, a three-part novel series, two picture frames, and a pack of gum. I took a closer look at the frames. "Hey, what are these from?" I asked, having trouble deciphering the meaning within the pictures.

Levi unzipped his hoodie and hung it on the back of his door. "The one on the left is a picture of my hometown," he replied, "and the one of the right is a picture of Hange and me eating burgers on the curbside of McDonald's."

"Oh, yeah?" Smiling, I picked up the picture of his hometown. "Where are you from?"

"Toronto. We moved here, when I was five, so I don't have much memory of the place. I only remember what it looked like, because of that picture."

"And you and Hange?" I wondered. "You two must be pretty close, if you have a picture of the both of you together."

"I guess," Levi shrugged. He rolled up the sleeves of his black v-neck and sat on the edge of his bed. It was considerably smaller than Hange's, I noticed. "We have a weird relationship. We act like we don't get along at all, but when the going gets tough, we know that we can count on each other."

I understood where he was coming from. He and Hange must have been through a lot together, in their high school years. Erwin, too. "What about Erwin?" I asked. "You don't have a picture with him?"

"Nah, that'd be weird. Erwin and I have a strange relationship, too."

I rose an eyebrow at him. "Is there anyone that you have a  _normal_  relationship with?"

I took a bit of pride in the fact that I had caused him to quietly chuckle. Slowly, awkward was giving way to contentment, and I could tell that it was putting the both of us at ease. He smirked. "I don't think there's such a thing, Eren. I don't think such a relationship exists."

Why was it that the sound of my name had caused not only my heart to flutter, by my wings, as well? The familiarity in his voice was so nostalgic, I almost couldn't bear it. In order to calm myself down, I changed the subject. "So, what are all of you studying? What are your majors?"

"You mean Erwin," Levi corrected.

"...Huh?" I was confused.

"Erwin's the only one that goes to college. Hange and I dropped out in our first year."

"Oh, I didn't know." Because really, how would I have known? They all lived so close to the college itself that it only felt natural to assume. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked, cocking his head at me. "Because you misjudged, or because you feel bad for us."

I felt like I was being put on the spot again, and Lord knows how I hate being put on the spot. "Well, I, uh, I mean, I think both, I guess?" Lord also knows I sound like a babbling idiot when it happens, too.

"Well, you shouldn't," he sighed. "It was my choice. Hange's, too. We could have continued our studies, but we just weren't feeling it anymore. We're not as driven toward a cause like Erwin is."

All of this talk about college was fascinating to me. It was sad to say, but throughout all of my reincarnations, I had never once lived past the age of seventeen. That's why college was still such a curiosity to me. "Really?" I asked. "What is he studying to be?"

"A doctor," Levi answered, though he paused for a moment to snicker. "Oh, no, excuse me, a  _surgeon_. Ugh, he gets so mad at me, whenever I make that 'mistake'."

I smiled for the sake of not knowing anything better to say. If Levi wasn't a student, he must have had a job somewhere, right? How else would he be able to help with the rent of their apartment? "Do you work somewhere?" I questioned, but quickly withdrew myself when he held a hand up at me.

"I feel like I'm being interviewed," Levi breathed. I felt inclined to apologize again, but the look that he gave me was a silent order to refrain from doing so. "How about we do this. I'll talk for a bit, tell you some things about myself and the others, and then no more questions. You'll have to figure the rest out on your own."

I could agree to that. It sounded fun, even. Although we were long ago lovers, there was still so much to learn, so much to explore about ourselves. I'd already learned that his cleanliness trait had carried over, as well as his million dollar glare. What else was the same?

Tucking my legs beneath my backside, I sat carefully on the carpeted floor below, waiting for him to continue. My wings relaxed against my shoulders, no longer feeling the need to support my stance. I was completely at ease, and I couldn't help from feeling that it was because I was with Levi. Again, it must have been a guardian angel thing.

When I seemed like I was absolutely ready to listen, Levi pressed his palms against the mattress of his bed and began rattling off his knowledge. "Okay, so like I said, I was born in Toronto. My parents and I moved to America when I was five, and we've been here ever since. Hange, as I'm sure you must have guessed by now, his accent is so ridiculously thick, is Australian. His first year in high school was his first year in the country. As for Erwin, he's your typical rich kid. He could have anything he wanted, if he asked his parents for it. It's funny how a guy who could have it all decided to move away from his prime providers. I guess I can't blame him, though. I've met his parents before. They're total dictators. He says otherwise, but I highly doubt becoming a doctor-"

"Surgeon," I interrupted playfully.

He snorted. "Right, right, a  _surgeon_. I highly doubt becoming a surgeon was ever his chosen path to pursue, not with the way he so avidly talks about the army."

"The army?" I echoed, finding this new bit of information very interesting. I wanted to know more.

"Yeah, he's totally into it," Levi nodded. "It's so obvious. If his parents weren't pushing him to study so hard, he would definitely enlist. You know, I could picture him as a commanding officer. He's got the balls for it."

"Yeah, I could see it, too," I agreed mindlessly.

"What?" Levi questioned.

"What?" I questioned in return. Luckily, Levi didn't provoke me. He carried on.

"You asked if I have a job, right?" I nodded. "Well, I do, but I don't feel like telling you what it is yet. You'll just have to wait and see for yourself." I smiled at that, accepting his statement as a challenge of sorts. "As for Hange, he works at a pet store. He's a dog groomer, as well as a trainer. He loves getting to play with the animals there, because there's no way in Hell that Erwin would let us keep a pet. Actually, that's probably why Hange is so excited to have you here. You're probably the closest thing to a pet that we'll ever get."

Wearing an amiable expression, I lifted my shoulders and tilted my head to the side. I wasn't so sure that I liked being called "the closest thing to a pet", but if it was what made everyone happy, I would bark and wag my "tail" and much as possible.

"And that's about it, really," Levi concluded, lifting himself from his bed. He yawned and stretched his arms high above his head, causing his shirt to ride up to his waist. I tried not to stare, but could I really be penalized for it if I did? His skin looked so smooth, but if memory served me right, it was absolutely firm to the touch. If only I could touch him now...

In an instant that I was not prepared for, Levi began to strip himself of his shirt, followed by the unbuckling of his belt.

"Whoa!" I shouted, jumping to my feet.

Levi jolted, a reaction to my sudden movement. He sounded exasperated, when he asked, "What?"

Did I have a legitimate answer for him? Probably not. "I just, I wasn't expecting you to do that."

"What, take of my clothes?" Exhaling slowly, he continued with the task of his belt. "I need to take a shower." He hesitated. "This is going to sound more suggestive than I intend it to be, but I presume you'll be joining me?"

Feeding my fingers through my hair, I nodded sheepishly. "I have to make sure that you're safe at all times," I murmured. "The shower is no exception to that."

"Should I slip and fall?" he teased. "I'm curious to see what you would do."

My expression became cross. His idea reminded me of something Jean would propose to do. "Guardian angels don't find that kind of humor funny, Levi," I said sternly, like I was the expert on what angels did or didn't find funny already. "If your life is in danger, I just don't know-"

"Hey. Eren," Levi cut in. "Cool it. I was kidding." He made his way over to the door, faltering for just a second to see if I was behind him. I was. "I'll try to make it quick, alright? I'm tired, you're tired, we're all tired from this evening. Let's sleep in tomorrow morning, okay?"

I nodded graciously. That sounded like a splendid idea to me. Apparently, I'd been sleeping for three days prior to this morning, but to me, it felt as if I hadn't slept a wink.

I followed Levi to the linen closet, where he grabbed himself a wash cloth and a towel. I'd never used a wash cloth before. Personally, I had always been the type of guy to just drag a bar of soap across my body, but to each his own, I suppose.

In the bathroom, I sat on the edge of the sink, waiting with my eyes covered as Levi finished taking off the rest of his clothes. When he'd retreated behind the shower curtain, I felt it safe enough to remove my hands. I could hear him huffing at me.

"You know that we're both guys, right?" There was the sound of shampoo squirting against his palm.

"Yes, I know that," I responded warily.

"Why did you cover your eyes, then? It's not like I particularly care about my body, or anything. Did you feel uncomfortable?"

Uncomfortable, maybe, but now that he had brought such a thing to my attention, why  _did_  I cover my eyes? It wasn't like I hadn't seen his body before, touched his body before, caressed his body - okay, yeah. That was probably why I had covered them.

"That's not it!" I answered. "I was covering them merely out of respect for your standards. If you have nothing against such a thing, I won't shield my eyes anymore." Lord, have mercy.

"'Kay," he replied simply, squirting another handful of shampoo. He rinsed, lathered, and repeated, I guess.

I remained quiet for almost the full duration of his shower. Curiosity got the better of me, however, and I glanced over my shoulder at the mirror above the sink. Gasping, I fell over with a loud thud.

"Crap!" I shouted. I'd fallen on one of my wings, and God, did it hurt.

Levi cursed and ripped back the shower curtain. "Are you okay?

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I said, wincing like the fallen hero that I was. "I just, I haven't actually seen myself until just now, I...wow."

I was back on my feet, looking at the mirror in a state of absolute wonder. Was this really me? I looked so...majestic. My skin was so much paler than I remembered it ever being before, and my eyes shined with an intensity that could only be the product of something celestial. And my wings, my  _wings_ , to say that they were large was an understatement. They were freaking huge! And now that I could see them, that I could view the way that they brought a sense of purpose to my shoulders, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop myself from staring at them. For my own amusement, I flapped my wings once, no, twice. Damn, this was cool.

In all of my excitement, I hadn't even heard the shower turn off. Levi was already wrapped in his towel and ready to make the short trip back to his bedroom. I walked behind him, focusing my gaze on his every footstep. His stride was small, but quick. Yet another thing I could add to his list of sames.

After he'd dried off, he changed into his sleeping attire, consisting of sweatpants, another v-neck, and thick ankle socks. He asked me if I wanted to change into anything else. For now, I told him no, but I knew that I would take him up on his offer eventually. Just not right now. Now, all I wanted to do was sleep, and I could tell that he felt the same way.

Levi rubbed his towel against his wet hair and collapsed against his bed. Curling up into a fetal ball, he closed his eyes and groaned. "Today was interesting," he said, eyeing me from where he lay.

"It was, wasn't it?" I agreed, dressing my lips in their most charming of smiles. Being an angel was tough. You sure had to smile a lot.

Levi's eyes never once left my face, as he said, "You know, you can be yourself around me. Actually, I'd prefer that. Don't be fake with me just to keep up appearances. Be real. I didn't even believe in angels until just a few hours ago, so be as real as possible with me."

Somehow, a wave of relief washed over me, and a genuine smile slipped past my awareness. "Thank you." And after I had said it, he turned himself over and began folding up his towel.

"Do you have a place where you usually put dirty towels?" I wondered.

"Yeah, that hamper over there," he said, pointing toward the small wicker basket that was situated in the wedge behind his door.

"I can put it in there for you, if you'd like," I offered.

"You're my angel, not my housemaid. I can do it myself."

He didn't sound offended, in fact, he seemed grateful that I had even offered to do such a thing. What could I say? I'd learned to become more tidy. Little did he know that it was  _he_  who had trained me.

After tossing the towel into the basket, Levi returned to his bed and pulled back the covers. Climbing in, he brought the sheets all the way up to his nose and began to nestle himself until he was comfortable. When he'd found his spot, he sighed peacefully. "It's going to be weird having an angel in my bed," he said.

Weird was the last thing I had wanted this to be for him. For the both of us, really. "I can sleep on the floor," I responded, already getting myself into position. "Angels sleep in a different way than humans, so I'll be okay like this-"

"Get on the bed, Eren." I got on the bed.

He sounded sleepy, as he told me that he was "freaking exhausted". He tossed and turned for a bit, sighing again and again, each and every time he had found that perfect position. It was nice to watch, but it was also a tad tiresome.  _'Fall asleep, please,'_  I thought to myself. I needed to know that he was resting and well to be able to fall asleep, as well.

Ten minutes later, it happened. He'd begun to breathe a lot slower, no longer moving about like he had been before. The tension in his eyebrows fell slack, while the rise and fall of his chest proved to be a decent rhythm, enough motivation for me to finally get some sleep.

Bringing my wings forward and wrapping them around my body like a tent, I sighed happily and closed my eyes. Although hectic, today had been a very good day. In under twenty-four hours, I'd learned how to fly, returned to Earth, and found my human - who just so happened to be Levi, the very same Levi that I had loved so dearly in a world so cruel.

"Love..."

...What? Was that me? Had I said something aloud that I shouldn't have? Peeking through a small gap that I had formed with my wings, I watched in absolute and undefinable awe as Levi, asleep and dreaming, murmured four, unmistakable words that could only be meant for me.

"I love you, Eren."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Oops, another cliffhanger. I'm so sorry, but at least you get my longest chapter yet, topping out at 4,500+ words! (:
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read, and I hope you've enjoyed!
> 
> \- Chappy


	7. Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of things need to be asked, but they will have to wait until later.

Was this real? Had Levi really just said that? To  _me_? No, he was asleep. He was dreaming, right? But he had said my name. My name, it had been paired with a love confession. It was the acknowledgment of an emotion we used to share for one another. This couldn't be right. Hange had said that Levi had no recollection of the past. But maybe...this was something that even Hange didn't know about.

I'd discuss it with him in the morning.

Pulling my wings back, I tried to block out the idea of Levi having ever said such a thing. I felt happy and I felt blessed, but a much larger portion of my conscious mind was telling me to be wary of this incident. I needn't walk on eggshells, but I didn't have to explain to Levi what he had said, either. I needed to play it cool, but God, I needed to get some sleep.

Sleeping as an angel really was different from sleeping as a human. Not just the position, but the actual act of it, too. I don't know why I hadn't realized it already, it wasn't like this was my first time falling asleep (it was my second), but it almost felt like an overwhelming sensation of warmth had started taking over my body. It reminded me of the secure incubation I had felt within my egg, and now that I had the chance to appreciate it, I really liked it. I was asleep within minutes.

A sudden sound that had I remembered all to well awoke me, some odd number of hours later. I guess annoying alarm clocks are pretty common, then again, I don't think there's such a thing as a "pleasant" alarm clock, either. It was with a yawn and a stretch that my wings parted lazily, revealing my hunched over form. What time was it anyway? Levi had mentioned something about sleeping in, but it still seemed early to me. I took a peek over the small mound of covers that I assumed to be Levi and looked at the clock. Displayed in bright red, cubic numbers, I read 12:01 PM.

My wings began to flap anxiously. Did we sleep in too late? And why did it feel like it was still so early? Assessing my surroundings, I think it might have had something to do with that fact that Levi owned blackout curtains. How he ever had the energy to wake up with those things eluded me.

"Hey, Levi?" I said softly, doing my best not to disturb him. If not my voice, the loud beeping of his alarm clock surely would.

A horribly guttural sound, starting in his throat and resting on his tongue, passed through Levi's lips, as his arm shot out from underneath the sheets and slammed the snooze button. Wow, if only my alarm clock had had one of those. It would have been much appreciated on the mornings that I'd spent messing around with the stupid thing.

"What?" Oh, he was talking to me.

Climbing off the edge of the bed, I straightened out my angelic garb and rattled my brain for words. "Oh, I...I just thought that we should probably wake up now. I think we've slept late enough, haven't we? And you must be hungry, right? It's important you eat a well-balanced meal, you know, and you've already missed breakfast, so-"

"Eren," he interrupted me. His voice was deep and scratchy, more than definitely a factor from his rest. Before he had the chance to say anything else, I was already apologizing.

"I'm really sorry! These words, they come out before I can stop them, and-"

" _Eren_ ," he'd interrupted me again. I let him speak this time.

"Um, yes?"

I heard him yawn, as he crawled out from under the covers and sat up. He raked his fingers through his hair, and turned his head to look directly at me. Like an idiot, I immediately stiffened.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

I'm pretty sure Levi could sense my unease, for he dropped whatever it was that he was going to say and picked up something else. "Let's get dressed," he suggested. "I have work in an hour."

All of my worries seemed to subside, when I found myself getting very excited. Levi's workplace was still a mystery to me, and he'd planned on keeping it that way until I found out where it was for myself. I desperately hoped that he wasn't involved in any kind of shady business, though. He really needn't rehash his past life as a thug.

I watched him climb out of his bed and fix the covers, pulling them tight at the ends to give the appearance of neatness. After he fluffed up his pillows, he took a quick look at himself in the mirror that was connected to his bureau and scoffed. "You'd think I slept in a tornado," he muttered under his breath. I tried not to laugh, but I had to admit that he was right. His nightwear was disheveled, and his hair was an absolute catastrophe.

"I'm sure if you use some of the jelly stuff that you have on your bureau, you'll be able to fix your hair," I smiled. "It looks quite expensive."

"Mm, not really," he sighed, opening a drawer that contained some shirts, most of which were deep greys or earthy colors. "That stuff is only good for styling. If I want to fix this rat's nest, I'll have to take another shower. Ugh, I should probably do that first."

We were in the bathroom, and as Levi conditioned his hair, I found myself staring into the mirror again. I wasn't trying to be vain, but I couldn't help myself from being amazed. It was like being an angel gave you an instant ticket to beauty.

Hearing Levi curse snapped me out of my daze. Within the blink of an eye, I was alert and asking, "What's the matter?"

"Nah, it's nothing," he replied, but I could tell from his hesitance that he was hiding something.

"No, you have to tell me," I said, sounding stern enough for him to give in.

Groaning, he contemplated his response, before saying, "...I cut my leg."

"...You did what?" How could he have done that? I had originally thought that he was only going to wash his hair. In retrospect, he shouldn't have even been  _doing_  anything to his legs. Wait, what was he doing to his legs?

I heard another groan. "I cut my  _leg_ ," he repeated irritably.

"But  _how_?" I asked in just the same way.

"By...shaving?"

"What?!" I gasped. "Why are you shaving your legs? You're a guy! You don't have to do that!"

"First of all, not true. I can do whatever I want. And secondly, I hate body hair. I shave under my arms, too."

I hadn't meant to sound so judgmental, and he had a point. He could do whatever he pleased. The initial idea of it was just a bit odd to me. He cussed again.

"Hey, are you even using shaving cream?" I wondered.

He answered with the negatory. "I ran out, and I haven't had the chance to stop by the store yet. I'm using body wash."

"Well, that won't do," I spoke sympathetically.

"No, it won't," he agreed, "but there's nothing I can do about it."

Stepping closer to the shower, I folded my hands together and rocked on my heels out of habit. "Can I see your leg?" I questioned, trying to sound as innocent as I could manage.

Levi must have been confused, but he didn't seem to show it as he obliged my request. He pulled the shower curtain back, and it was just enough so that he could prop his foot up on the side of the tub. It was pretty cool how their shower served as both.

Looking at the side of his calve, I was able to see the two cuts he had made. They weren't too bad, but they still caused my sides to itch. I didn't want them there, not on his body. I wanted them gone.

I'm guessing Levi could see the discontent in my eyes, because he withdrew his leg and continued shaving. "Look," he spoke, quickly grabbing my attention, "I don't know too much about guardian angels and all that jazz, I only know the things that you've told me about them, but my guess is that once the damage is done, nothing can erase it, right? I mean, that's just life."

I shrugged at first, but then I nodded. "I think you're right. My job is protect you so that a harmful action does not take place. But once it does..."

He turned off the shower. "But once it does," he repeated, "there's nothing you can do about it."

After he'd stepped out and grabbed for this towel, Levi applied some aftershave to his leg. It was ironic to me how he had that, but not any actual shaving cream. Whatever the case, he need to get dressed, so we made our way back to his bedroom. Again, he offered me a change of clothes.

"Maybe we can figure something out, when you get off from work," I said. "I wouldn't want you to be late, or anything like that."

Scoffing, Levi pulled a grey v-neck over his head. "Arriving fashionably late is my whole shtick. It gets my boss pretty ticked, but whatever. She can deal with it. She's such a dictator."

I sat on the edge of his bed. "You use that word a lot," I noticed.

"What do you mean?" He pulled his arms through his sleeves. "What word?"

"Dictator. You use it a lot. You used it just yesterday to describe Erwin's parents. Speaking of Erwin, where is he? And Hange?" I was mostly curious about Hange. I still wanted to talk to him and tell him about what had happened last night.

Levi seemed impressed, as he responded, "You're right, I did. Huh. Well, whatever. I only use it, when it's true. You'll see what I mean. As for Erwin, he's at school. He had that Psychology test, remember? And Hange, he's probably at the pet store. His hours are all messed up, so I can never tell for sure."

That was a bummer. I'd have to figure out a way to explain it to him later.

Shimmying into a pair of denim skinny jeans that he'd grabbed from his closet, Levi walked back over to his bureau and reached for his comb and his hair product.

"Are you planning on styling it?" I asked.

"That is the plan," he said. Dipping his index and his middle fingers into the paste, he began to tease his hair with the comb and work out all of the matts. He seemed experienced, what with the way his hair obeyed his every stroke and command. It made me a bit envious. As a human, my hair had been nothing short of average in both style and color, but with Levi, it was like his hair was Cinderella and he was its fairy godmother.

I hadn't realized that I had been staring, until he said, "Eren, you're staring."

"Oh, was I?" I smiled, trying to play off my embarrassment. He rested his hand against his hip. I assumed it as my cue to continue. "Well, I, it's just that your hair looks really nice like that. You look really cool."

"You think?" I couldn't tell if he was being modest or sarcastic. Something in the way that he'd raised his eyebrow and quirked the corner of his lip leaned my judgement toward the latter. "Well, you know. Gotta look presentable. By the way, are your wings alright?"

At that, I tilted my head slightly. "What?"

"Your wings. You fell on them in the bathroom last night. Are they okay?"

It was touching that he cared for my well-being. That was supposed to be _my_ job. Whatever. We were still getting used to our roles anyway.

"Yeah, they're fine," I answered. Flapping them back and forth with ease, I attempted to prove myself to him. "See?"

Levi nodded and turned to grab something else from his closet. He pulled out a jacket that sported faux leather sleeves. Since when had he become so fashion forward? Just yesterday, he was wearing a sweatshirt. When he'd said that he needed to look presentable for his job, he really wasn't kidding. Now, I was all but brimming with excitement. I wanted to know where he worked.

Down the hall, Levi picked up a ring of his keys and stuffed them into his pocket. Before we left, he shot me an over-the-shoulder glance. "While we're in public," he began, shoving his feet into his boots, "try to keep talking to a minimum. I don't want people to think that I'm talking to myself."

I understood where he was coming from, and with a childish motion of my hand, I locked my lips and threw away the key. My act hadn't gone without comment.

"Adorable," he snickered. "Let's go."

Levi walked below, as I flew from above. It felt wonderful to stretch out my wings and coast through the air in flight. I didn't want to show off or anything, but I'd even gone as far as preforming a few twists and twirls. It left me with a deflated ego, when I'd realized that Levi hadn't been looking. I'd come to the conclusion that maybe I  _had_  been trying to strut my stuff, if only just a little bit.

Speaking of strutting some stuff, that's exactly what Levi was doing. Walking down the pavement in a manner that was much unlike the way he had been last night - not just last night, but this morning, too - he held a certain sense about him, an aura that read, "Step aside, I'm coming through." With his hands in his pockets and his chin held high, I had to say, he resembled a runway model.

I was still unable to tell where we were going, and our surroundings weren't very helpful to me, either. If I'd had a watch, I would have been checking it a billion times, because I was pretty sure that we were late. Levi had mentioned something earlier about it being his trademark to arrive past clock-in, but I could tell from the way he'd picked up his gait that he had been full of it.

We passed small business after small business, and I had to admit that I was getting pretty antsy. I couldn't picture Levi working in any of these places. Papa Pete's Pastries? Red Ralph's Recycling? Anabelle's Antiques? None of them sounded right. None of them seemed to fit. However, within three, carefully timed strides, Levi was turning the corner and entering a side shop. What was it? I hadn't managed to catch the name.

I landed to my feet as gracefully as I possibly could, which meant that it hadn't been graceful at all. I'd nearly toppled over, but bless those lumps of feathers, my wings had saved me again. It felt silly, but I almost wanted to thank them. They always seemed to be looking out for me. Although, at the moment, I had a much more serious matter to attend to: Levi.

"What's up,  _girls_?" Wait, what?  _What_? In all of my days, in all of my lifetimes, I had never heard, nor could I have ever imagined, something so unmistakably flamboyant coming from Levi's lips. His hair, his clothes, his strut, all of it had been mere build-up to what he had just unleashed a few seconds ago. Just, what the heck was going on?

"Ugh, Levi!" I heard a woman's voice whine. "Where have you been? I scheduled an appointment for one o' clock, and it's already quarter past!"

"Oh, Donna," Levi chuckled, he  _chuckled_ , "you should know by now that I never kiss and tell. Forget tipping me, and we'll call it even. Now put down that tabloid trash and have a seat."

I was in a daze, as I looked all around me. A magazine rack resting by the door, coat hooks perched on the wall for customers' convenience, and the scent of hair dye mixed with shampoo was almost sickening. For the love of God, Levi worked in a beauty salon.

I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry, but most of all, I wanted answers. How did Levi, humanity's strongest and most feared soldier, get hired at a beauty salon? A  _beauty_  salon!

_'Well, you know. Gotta look presentable.'_

Yeah, if that wasn't the truth, I didn't know what was. Just a little over an hour ago, I had been staring into the face of absolute death upon his awakening. Now, Levi was laughing and smiling, sashaying his way over to a spinning chair that I'm sure he intended to be for his customer. He instructed her to take her seat.

"So, what are we doing today, Donna?" he asked, his fingers aimlessly roaming through her hair. "Your usual two inches, or something more exotic?"

"My usual," she responded with a sigh. "I have a business meeting tomorrow, so I can't mess around. Maybe another time."

"Aw, that's no fun," Levi said, reaching for a styling comb. "You should branch out a bit. I mean, come  _on_. It's the same thing again and again, every six weeks!"

Donna seemed to rethink her original answer. It was in that small pause of conversation that he'd looked over at me. I wanted to smile, or do something, anything to acknowledge his gaze, but I just stood there like a statue. He smirked. I felt stupid.

"I don't know, Levi," she finally said. "What do you think?"

"Well, that depends," he answered, twirling one of his fingers around a particularly long strand of her hair. "Do you trust my judgement?"

"Of course!" She'd said it a bit too quickly. "Of course, it's just, I don't want it to look too..."

"Bold? Daring? Intrepid?" Wow, Levi had a way with adjectives.

"Yes, exactly!" She rested her hands against her lap. "Maybe I do want something different, but I still want my style to be reserved and business-like. Do you think you can do that?"

Levi rose an eyebrow, as he looked into the mirror before the both of them. "Darling, I can do  _anything_. And trust me, you're going to  _love_  it, when I'm done."

The fact that this Donna person was all but swooning, because of Levi's response, made me want to rush over there and reclaim what was rightfully mine. Levi was  _mine_. I wouldn't let anyone else...wait, was I alright? Was I insane? Yes, Levi was mine, but in a much different sense. He was mine to protect and to guard, but he wasn't mine by the definition of humans. In that sort of standard, I didn't even know what we were.

The sound of blades slicing hair caused me to look up, and when I did, my eyes widened a great deal. Levi had literally just chopped off a good five inches from that woman's hair. What used to be a past-the-shoulder style was now making headway into becoming a pixie cut. That's what they called it, right? I'd have to ask Levi later.

I didn't know if it was customary for Levi to do this will all of his customers, or if Donna was just a special case, but he had turned her chair around so that she wasn't facing the mirror. The whole spin around and getting a surprise thing was kind of cool, but what if the person didn't like it? There was no such thing as do-overs when cutting hair. Again, I'd have to ask Levi about that later.

The time seemed to fly by, as Levi continued to snip and snap away. About thirty minutes later, he was ready for the big reveal. "Donna, are you ready?" he asked, reaching over the back of the chair to massage her shoulders.

"Yeah, I think I am." There was a shake in her voice. I could tell she was nervous.

Levi released his hands from her shoulders and grabbed onto the arms of the chair. "Okay, I'm going to spin you around now."

It was with a slow and suspenseful twirl that Levi had brought her back into the proper position. In a flash, her hands were covering her mouth and tears were bubbling at her eyelids.

Personally, I would have been scared out of my mind that I'd done something wrong, but Levi was as calm as ever. "Now, tell me," he said softly, "do you love it, or do you love it?"

She must have been unable to form words, because all Donna did was nod her head. Turning around, she jumped from the chair and gave Levi a big hug. My jealously was on the rise, yet again.

"Oh, Levi," she sobbed, "it's perfect! It's absolutely perfect! It still looks reserved, but it's something new, and God, I love it so much!"

He must of got that a lot, I thought, or maybe he didn't. Maybe this woman was overly dramatic. I'd have a lot of things to ask him later tonight.

"Of course you love it," Levi responded arrogantly. "Pixie bobs are all the rage these days. Now, seriously, will you ever question my talent for these kinds of things ever again?"

She shook her head. She shook it so fast that her new hairdo flopped about, hitting against her face.

"Good," Levi smirked. "Now pay me, because I did a good job."

He walked her to the cash register. I stepped out of the way, as they passed, which was something that I really didn't  _have_  to do, but was a habit that I knew would die hard. Donna would have walked right through me, just like everyone else who wasn't Levi.

That got me thinking for a second. Levi and I...we'd only had one act of any sort of physical contact with one another. This woman, she'd had at least three.

After Levi stuffed the money into the cash register and accepted his tip - the one that he'd said for Donna not to give, but expected anyway - he waved her off and grabbed a nearby broom to begin sweeping up her hair. I followed him.

A few women were still tending to their costumers, and it was with that piece of knowledge that it'd become very obvious to me that Levi was the only male employee that worked there. I wanted to comment on that.

"It must be weird," I said. I stepped out of his way, as he swept next to my feet.

It was a non-verbal response, but a response nonetheless. If for only just a second, he'd looked at me.

"Weird, I mean, because you're the only guy that works here." He shrugged. I stopped talking, for the time being.

When he was finished cleaning up the floor around his area, Levi meticulously straightened out his combs and his brushes. He seemed very focused in what he was doing, but I was more than a bit restless from my lack of answers.

"So, you cut people's hair," I stated, finding it to be an easy enough conversation starter, as well as ender.

Levi used one of the combs he had been arranging to poke a small piece of paper on the corner of his tray. It resembled a business card, but was clearly handmade. I read it aloud.

"Cosmetologist?" I said questioningly. "What the-?"

He cut me off by tapping the bottom of the paper. I continued to read it.

"Hair stylist and..." No way. No, there was no way. Not Levi, no. "...Make-up artist?"

Nonchalantly waving his comb around like a little flag of victory, he went back to rearranging his tray.

This was crazy. Levi,  _the_  Levi, working as both a hair stylist and a make-up artist. This beauty salon really had it all, didn't it? It was my guess that there must have been some back room of sorts that hosted all of the make-up and beautifying products.

"Hey, where is she?" Levi asked. He wasn't talking to me.

"She's in the back room with a bride-to-be," one of Levi's co-workers responded. "She's been in there for over an hour now, so I'm almost positive that she's finishing up. Oh, look. Speak of the devil."

And speak of the devil indeed.

Flaming red stilettos clacked against the linoleum, as a woman dressed in clothing as black as her hair came strutting into view. Wrapped around her neck in a cross knot was a scarf to match her lips, which were also kissably rouge. It wasn't until I'd caught her gaze that we were both taken by the sight of one another. I was at a loss of all words, but one.

"...Mikasa?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Another cliffhanger to start off your weekends! You're welcome.
> 
> Now, there's something that I really would like to mention. In the previous chapter, I had made a major slip-up. I am so grateful to the one reader who caught it and commented about it, because it is seriously a major part of the story!
> 
> In Chapter 6, I had written that Hange not only touched Eren's shoulder, but his waist, as well. Obviously, he shouldn't have been able to do that! The chapter is edited and fixed now, but please remember that it was a big mistake on my part and that Levi is the only one who can touch/be touched by Eren.
> 
> On that note, I hope you've enjoyed! 
> 
> \- Chappy


	8. Answers?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is asked a lot of questions, but does he answer all of them?

Even though a handful of numbers had been added to her age, Mikasa still looked just the same. Her eyes were as, if not more prominent than ever, clearly the result of a special code of burnt black eyeliner. And her eyelashes, fierce and lengthy, they'd never looked fuller. Were they false? It was a possibility. Real or fake, her stare was captivating.

I didn't know whether to rush over to her, or to hide behind Levi. Neither of my options seemed all that smart, but it didn't stop me from edging closer to Levi regardless. Not exactly hiding, yet not exactly presenting myself, either.

Luckily, the other stylists minded their own business, not finding it strange at all that their boss had decided to stop short in her ruby red tracks. Little did their innocent minds know that  _I_ was the cause behind such a thing.

It was the single beckoning of a well-manicured finger that inclined Levi to nonchalantly brush his arm against mine, a signal that we'd better follow Mikasa to wherever she was taking us. One of the rooms in the back, maybe? Not knowing what was going to happen caused my wings to flutter anxiously.

"Hey, don't do that here," Levi scolded in a hush. "You'll knock something over."

He was right. We needn't have another episode, like with the standing lamp.

I folded my wings as much as possible, hoping that it would suffice and allow me to pass through the tiny walkway. And it was, but just barely.

I could sense that Levi was just as nervous as I was. He wore an expression that reflected an air of confidence, but I knew he was suppressing a much deeper emotion. No worries, though. My own face was dressed in enough discomfort for the both of us.

My toes curled against the linoleum, as we walked. Mikasa had stopped once again, but this time, it wasn't because she's been baffled by the sight of an angel in the middle of her beauty salon, it was to usher both Levi and me into a spare room, one that I soon deemed to be a make-up supply room, upon entry. She closed the door behind us, waiting a great deal of seconds before releasing an aggravated sigh.

During those seconds, I allowed myself some time to think. This was Mikasa. My sister, my friend, my comrade. I'd died long before she did, I was sure of it, and if I'd known her well - and believe me, I did - there was no doubt in my mind that she'd contributed to the success of humanity. Just imagining it made me feel so proud of her. It made me want to reach out and give her a good 'ole slap on the back. It made me want to-

"Do you mind explaining what's going on, Levi?" My thought process was scattered, with the sound of her voice. Just as purposefully intimidating as always. "Do you mind explaining why there's an idiot dressed up like an angel in my beauty salon?"

Those words alone had caused my entire body to go numb. From the center of my skull, to the fine skin particles of my toes, all sensible sensation was gone. I couldn't comprehend this feeling, nor did I want to experience it again. Levi, my lover; Erwin, my commander; Mikasa, my sister. None of them remembered.

"First of all, he's not an idiot," Levi grumbled, speaking toward my defense. If I hadn't felt so deflated, I probably would have been touched. "Secondly, he's not dressed up. He's a legit angel."

"Yeah, and I'm the freaking tooth fairy," Mikasa spat. Her arms crossed over her chest, causing the edges of her scarf to ruffle. "Tell me the truth, or you're fired."

I didn't have a good lie detector, but Levi must have, with the way he'd seemed absolutely unfazed by her threat. He'd even gone as far as responding with a "pffft" sound, before saying, "Like you'd ever fire me. You know I'm the best damn worker you've ever had. And besides, I'm  _telling_  the truth. Don't believe me? Try touching him."

I looked at Levi worriedly. Was this really a good idea? I'd wanted to ask, but my lips refused to move. And Lord knows I wasn't a ventriloquist.

"That's stupid, I'm not doing it," Mikasa protested, her arms only hugging her chest tighter.

"Fine. I'll make him touch you, then."

Without being able to object, Levi grabbed me by the hand and stretched my arm forward. Under any other circumstance, I would have been able to stop and enjoy the feeling. Sadly, this was not the case, as of present. I did note that his hands were particularly smooth for this time of year, though. He must have used moisturizer, or something.

We'd been standing within close enough proximity for the tips of my fingers to just barely phase through one of Mikasa's forearms. Her mortified gasp made my wings flare outward. I didn't want to hear that. Not from Mikasa...

Suddenly, a steel rack filled with a bunch of stuff - it had happened too quickly for me to decipher any of the materials - came toppling over, hitting me on the head and forcing what little room we were standing in to twist into a tango.

Levi cussed, before using the blade of his shoulder to coax the rack back up into its upright position. He was probably thanking his lucky stars that Mikasa was still too shocked to even make it seem like she cared that most of her powdery and pasty make-up supplies were now coating my face and my feathers. It felt gross. It felt  _really_  gross.

Everything about the situation was unnerving to me. First of all, I should have been the one protecting Levi, not the other way around, and secondly, because of Mikasa's reaction - which had been a perfectly normal reaction to having an angel's fingers phase through your arm, but still - the floor, as well as my wings, were a mess. Would I even be able to establish flight like this? Probably not.

After all of the initial startle had settled, Mikasa had composed herself enough to whisper, "What the  _Hell_  is going on?" And bless his soul, Levi took up the liberty to explain.

"I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you once." He sounded annoyed, and he had every right to be. I'd just made his day a disaster. He jabbed a finger in my general direction. "This is Eren. He's a guardian angel. Scratch that, he's  _my_  guardian angel."

"As of...?" Mikasa inquired. "I've never seen you with him before."

"This will go a lot smoother, if you don't interrupt me," Levi sighed, "but he's been with me as of yesterday. He fell out of the sky and landed in front of me, as I was walking. He and I...still haven't discussed what all of that was about yet."

Levi turned to look at me briefly, almost apologetically, while I did the same. I tried to read the meaning behind his gaze, but he was already glancing back to Mikasa.

"You know how guardian angels work, right?" He began to rub the back of his head, but quickly retracted his hand. There was no way he was going to let himself mess up his hair like that. "They follow you around all the time, always making sure that you're safe. It's their job."

"Why is he  _here_ , though? Can't he wait for you at home, or something?" Apparently, telling Mikasa not to ask questions hadn't completely sunk in.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Levi scoffed, whilst throwing an arm around my shoulders. Just the act in itself had caused my pulse to accelerate.

The look of utter perplexity that Mikasa had given him forced him to add, "Oh, right. I'm the only one who can touch him, apparently. But anyway, he can't be anywhere I'm not. If he is, he won't know if I'm safe or not and it will-"

"It'll make me anxious," I interjected. Both Levi and Mikasa seemed appalled by my outburst, but they allowed me to carry on for myself, Levi especially. "Even when I was still in Maria, just knowing that Levi was here on Earth and I wasn't with him, it turned me into this mindless, robotic...I don't even know how to describe it. All I knew was that I needed to be with him. I needed to make sure he was okay, that he was safe."

This was still news to Levi, and with the way that he blankly stared at me, I almost felt the need to say, "We'll talk more about that later," so I did. He agreed with a simple nod.

Talking to Mikasa, speaking with her as if we were nothing more than strangers, had done wonders to my usually level voice. I began to stammer, unable to control the tempo, as I said, "I didn't mean to be a bother to you, or to your salon. Heck, I was doing a pretty good job of that, before you called us in here. Wasn't I?" I was asking Levi.

"Yeah, you were," he affirmed, and removed his arm from my shoulder. "Actually, if anyone's to blame for the disturbance of the good flow Eren and I had going on there," he batted a challenging eyebrow at Mikasa, "it's you."

Her expression had gone from zero to sixty in two seconds flat, and I was suddenly subjected to the second-hand venom within her voice, as she hissed, "None of this is my fault. You think it's  _my_  fault that a freaking guardian angel pops up out of nowhere? In the middle of  _my_  salon? That I just so happen to feel  _obligated_  to confront said angel and my punk-of-an-employee? This isn't my fault, it's yo-"

" _Please_." Again, I had been the one to interrupt, and again, my voice had been nothing short of despairing. "Please don't argue like this. This whole situation, I know it's confusing for humans to understand, but if you let me stay, I promise I'll be good. You won't even know I'm here, and I won't touch anything, I  _promise_."

Mikasa was studying my face, as I spoke. Her eyes traced my mouth to my own set of eyes, and back again. She must have been calculating the sincerity of my plea. It was good to know that such an aspect of her personality hadn't changed, because - save for her outward appearance - it sure felt like everything else had.

My wings slumped against my back. Waiting for her response was like cutting the wires of an active bomb. If I'd cut the right wire, meaning if I'd said the right thing, her reply would be within my favor. Likewise, if I'd cut the wrong wire...

"I have one last question," she said, and her voice had been so quiet that I'd almost misheard her words entirely.

I needed clarity on her statement. "For me, or for Levi?"

Mikasa fit a hand against her hip, shifting her weight toward the left. Her new stance made her look sophisticated, I couldn't deny that. "I doubt Levi will be able to answer it properly, so it's for you."

Levi scoffed at her accusation, and I was pretty sure I heard him mutter something alone the lines of, "I can answer any damn question, whatever, I don't care," beneath his breath.

Trying to look as welcoming as possible, my lips pulled into a small smile. If I was going to be interrogated, I'd better come across as seemingly ready for anything that she threw my way.

"Yes?" I continued to smile. "What is it?"

"Without even hearing it from myself personally, you knew my name," Mikasa whispered. "How did you know it? Did Levi tell you, or have we met somewhere before?"

That was a loaded question, one that was beyond my belief. I swallowed, pondering my answer. I  _knew_  the correct answer; in fact, there were quite a few I could go off of. Mikasa, you were my sister. I could never forget your name, we were family, adoptive or not. Don't you remember me? I'm Eren. Eren Yeager. I was your brother. Headstrong and determined, that was me. That had always been me. And you, you were the cool and clear-minded water that suppressed my raging flame. You always knew what to say, and you always had a good tactic or two for calming me down. Most of all, we loved each other. We cared for and supported one another in the most special kind of way.

I took a different, expository approach.

"By answering your question, I'm also going to be answering another question that you haven't exactly asked." I grabbed a second to breathe. These words, they were gonna hurt. "The only reason you can  _see_  me is because yes, we have met before. In...in one of my past lives, you and I have crossed paths. That's how I know your name. Levi didn't have to tell me, I already knew it."

Given that her expression hadn't changed at all, not even a fraction, I couldn't tell if Mikasa was absorbing what I was telling her. She appeared to be listening, but the unfazed nature of her eyes said otherwise, so I remained silent. I left the ball in her court. If she wanted to dig deeper, I'd let her. If she wanted more answers, I'd do my best to provide them. However, with a single turn on one of her six-inch stilettos, I understood that the conversation was over.

"Levi," she'd been able to address him, not even bothering to look, "finish up your next appointment and then go home. You'll come in early tomorrow, to make up for your lost time."

I half expected Levi to oppose Mikasa's proposition, but instead, he only shrugged and replied with a mere, "Whatever," before he and I both followed her out of the supply room.

Had the exchange of words gone well? I couldn't say. Did Levi looked pissed? Hell yeah. I really needed to ease some of his stress, and the only way I could do that was by being on my absolute best behavior, even if my wings were visibly and physically disgusting. I'd just have to suck it up and worry about cleaning them later.

Just before Levi and I had rounded the corner and re-entered the parlor, I heard Mikasa call out to me. The sound of my name had almost felt the same, had it not been spoken through devil-kissed lips. I gave her my attention, by glancing over my shoulder. "Yes?"

"I can't curb my curiosity," she admitted, unashamed. I wondered what she was going to ask.

"That's okay," I smiled. "You can ask me anything. I'll try to answer to the best of my ability."

There was a pause, as if she were deliberating. Levi began to tap his foot, but I waited patiently. Even if Mikasa asked the most ridiculous question, which I knew she wouldn't, I'd be happy to answer it. After all, even though she didn't remember me, I still felt blessed for just being able to see her again.

"You and I," she started, testing the organization of her words, "I mean, me and you...what was our relationship? How did we know each other?"

I would have answered everything. I would have answered everything and anything, but for some reason, I couldn't answer that. It wasn't fair, not for me and not for her. There wasn't a need for anyone to feel guilty. There wasn't a need for that at all.

I closed my eyes, slowly inhaling and exhaling, before gazing back over to Mikasa with a solemn smile. I tried to hide my disappointment, I really did, but in the last second, my lips had betrayed me. Figures.

"I think it would be best, for your sake, as well as mine, to leave that unanswered." Faltering, I decided that I didn't want to leave her completely hanging, seeking for a sense of closure. "Just know that you and I, we were a constant in each other's lives, at one point."

 

* * *

 

By the time Levi had finished with his appointment, the sun was already making its descent beyond the horizon. I'd always loved that about this time of the year. Having nights of equal, if not more consuming in length had always been so fascinating to me. Besides, there was nothing quite like a snowy sunset.

With my feathers still horribly matted and mussed, there was no way that I'd be able to fly back to the apartment with them. It didn't matter anyway, because as Levi and I left the beauty salon for the evening, he zipped up his jacket and decided, "We're going to McDonald's."

"Really?" I shouldn't have been shocked. With such a tight budget, fast food must have been Levi's go-to meal plan. Not only that, but I scolded myself for forgetting that he still hadn't put anything into his stomach yet today. God, I was horrible. "You must be really hungry..."

He shrugged, shoving his hand into the back pockets of his jeans. What he'd retrieved looked like a dinosaur incarnate to me, but was actually just a really, really,  _really_  old cell phone. (Okay, maybe not 90s kind of old, but it was still pretty old.) He brought it to his ear, giving off the vibe that he was having a phone conversation and wasn't just talking to himself. I had to admit, it was pretty clever. "I just want a McFlurry, because I damn well deserve one, don't I?"

I smiled, genuinely this time. It felt really good to be able to do so. "Yeah, you do. Man, I wish I could have one, too. McFlurries are the bomb."

"Why can't you?" he wondered. "Can't you eat?"

"I..." Wait, could I? That was actually a really good question. "You know, I'm actually not sure. I mean, I haven't eaten anything yet, but at the same time, I haven't felt hungry, either." Darnit. I really should have asked Historia or Jean about that. That reminded me...I also had a few things to ask Levi, too.

After we'd entered the nearest McDonald's and Levi ordered his cookies n' cream McFlurry, he and I sat down at one of the plastic booths. I shifted for a good minute or so, trying to situate my wings (which were still bothering me, yes). When I was finally comfortable, he laughed and I yelped. I hadn't intended to, but the noise of it had been so unexpected. Did he really have that much nerve to actually be laughing at _me_?

"Hey, why are you laughing?" I asked, in a whisper. I realized then that Levi had brought his prehistoric phone back up to his ear. I also realized that, technically, I didn't have to whisper, either.

"When I pretend, I do a damn good job of it," he said softly, stabbing his plastic spoon directly into the center of his ice cream. Scooping out a good balance of both cookie and cream, Levi stuffed the spoon into his mouth, taking a moment to suck on it.

I noticed that he refused to make direct eye contact with me for an extended period of time. He also chuckled at random intervals, too, really living up to his "damn good job" statement.

"So..." I spoke. I tried to think of a conversation piece, so that he wouldn't have to keep laughing aimlessly against his cell phone. I was glad that I'd been able to think of a topic super quickly. In fact, it was the question I'd been meaning to ask him. "Why did you decide to become a hair stylist? Oh, and a make-up artist, too, I guess."

Poking at his McFlurry, Levi scooped up another spoonful of cookie-enriched goodness, before answering me. "The training was easy and the pay was good enough that I figured why the Hell not, you know? Plus, unlike some jobs, I get to keep all of my tips, and if I act the right way, I get some pretty nice ones, too."

"Act," I repeated. He rose an eyebrow at me. "The way you were acting back there, it was all fake, right?"

Levi began to laugh, and this time, I had a feeling that he wasn't pretending. I'd  _genuinely_  amused him. "Of  _course_ , it was an act," he breathed. "What, you think I'm really like that? Yeah, no."

A relieved sigh slipped from my lungs. I'd wanted to believe that Levi hadn't changed much at all, but this afternoon had been a real stir to my definition of him. It was a good thing to hear that among his questionable occupation choice, he was also a wonderful actor.

"Can I ask why you act that way?" I nudged, figuring that he wouldn't mind explaining.

"Oh, you know, it fits the bill, right? Having a flamboyant man doing your hair is a lot less awkward than having a normal, lifeless man do it. Plus, when my customers feel comfortable enough with me, when they feel like they can actually  _relate_  to me, I get bigger tips, so..."

I watched him for a while, as he continued to poke at and delve into his McFlurry. Curiosity got the better of me and I looked around the rest of the restaurant, taking in the sights that surrounded us. I saw particular interest in a mother that was breast-feeding a newborn, all the while trying to calm down her fussy four-year old that was going on about how he'd wanted the red Power Ranger toy.

"How do you feel about kids?" Levi's question caught me off guard. He must have seen me staring.

"Kids? Oh, um, they're fine, I guess," I nodded. The two children that I was looking at weren't the best examples, but generally, I liked the idea of children.

"Have you ever had any? You know, in any of your lifetimes?"

Resting my arms on the table between us, I shook my head. "Nope, not ever. I've never lived past the age of seventeen in any of my lifetimes, so kids weren't exactly on the top of my list."

"What, really?" For the first time that night, Levi paid more attention to me than he did his McFlurry.

"Yeah, I'm serious. I have this personal theory that it's because I died at the age of seventeen in my very first life." I shuddered with remembrance. "It's kind of weird, right?"

"Yeah, kind of."

There was another stretch of silence, before we began to converse once more. This time, his topic of choice had been Mikasa.

"So, what's your relation to the devil?" Levi smirked, poking his lips with his spoon. "You wouldn't tell her, but you'll tell me, right? I promise not to relay the message."

I trusted Levi with my heart, but I was a bit wary to get into such a subject. One question would lead to another, I was almost sure of it. Whether or not it would be a question I was comfortable answering, I just didn't know. Whatever. I'd take a gamble.

I waited until he moved his phone from his right ear to his left, before saying, "She was my sister. Well, adoptive sister. But I'm talking a  _really_  long time ago. Like, my first lifetime."

"What are we talking here, like, the 1700s?" he scoffed.

I laughed nervously. "Ah, more like the 850s."

Levi nearly choked on a cookie crumb. " _What_? Eren, just how many lifetimes have you lived through?"

I shrugged amusedly. "Oh, I don't know. A  _lot_."

"Damn. Just, wow,  _damn_." Levi began to scrape his spoon against the bottom of his cup. "Do you remember all of your lifetimes, or just a few of them?"

I thought about that. "Mm, I guess I only remember half as many as I've lived through. I remember my first life and my most recent life the most vividly, though."

"Oh yeah?" I knew a second question was on the way, just from the tone Levi had said that in. "And what lifetime did I appear in?"

It had been such an innocent question, one that could have been answered so simply, too. What lifetime? Oh, sure. I could answer that. It was the heaviness within my heart that permitted me from sounding happy, as I said, "My first. You and I crossed paths in my first lifetime."

Nodding, Levi flicked his spoon against his tongue one last time, before placing it into his empty cup. He wanted to know more. His enticed expression all but screamed the unspoken words. I swallowed.

"If I were to ask you," he started, anticipating my response, "would you tell me what our relationship was like? You and me?"

Maybe I could dodge the question just a little bit longer. Turning it into a distracting game would be nice. Whatever worked, I would try it.

"I don't know," I sneered. "Are you planning on asking me?"

The aura that fell between us was much different than any I'd ever felt before, but for some reason, it was also strangely nostalgic. It reminded me of the times when Levi and I would challenge one another into a controlled argument, one that wasn't entirely real, but pulled from events that weren't entirely fake, either.

Levi switched ears again, skillfully matching my playful nature by lowering his voice. "Of course I am," he murmured.

The fact that he was paying more attention to his phone than to me was killing my buzz - that and my heart was practically pounding out of my chest - but I decided to go along with it.

Thankfully, Levi shot me a glance, before he continued. If I'd been allowed to pin a word to his gaze, captivating seemed to be the only fit that did it justice. "So, what was it, Eren? What was our relationship like?"

In all of my lifetimes, I don't think I could have ever topped myself in the way that I'd handled such situation. My demeanor had been more devilish than angelic, as I eased myself forward - regaining his attention for longer than three seconds, might I add - and carefully whispered the words that would only hurt the both of us in the end.

"I'm not going to tell you, until you remember it for yourself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Hmm, not exactly as brutal of a cliffhanger this time. However, will Levi remember? Will Eren end up telling him on his own? Oh, we just don't know, now do we?
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read, and I hope you've enjoyed!
> 
> \- Chappy


	9. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren needs to take a bath, and he doesn't entirely hate it.

I was told to sit still, as lukewarm bath water was splashed across the lower half of my bare back, as well as the feathered tips of my wings. I couldn't say that I was enjoying myself, but I couldn't exactly own up to entirely hating such an event, either. After all, I was being bathed like a dog, but at least I was being bathed by Levi.

"Lower your right wing," he instructed, before squirting a palmful of puppy shampoo into his hand. On our way back to the apartment, he had called Hange and told him to bring back three bottles of the stuff, leaving it to his imagination as to what they could be needed for.

After doing as I was told, I gazed back at Levi from over my shoulder. "Does it look like it's coming out?" I wondered. It was hard for me to tell. With wet wings that were sopped up with shampoo, it still felt like they were caked with beautifying product.

"Kind of," Levi responded, dipping my wing into the water and lathering it, "but I'm going to have to rinse and repeat a lot. You're fine with sitting in here for a while, right?"

Even though I'd rather not be sitting in a shallow bath for any amount of time, I chose not to put up a fuss and nodded.

"Good."

I knew it wasn't his intention, but as he continued to clean my wings, Levi ended up pulling on one of them a bit harder than was ideal. More of an automatic response than anything else, both wings opened wide and began to flap, while a short gasp was muffled by my hand. If Levi wasn't already exasperated enough that he was spending his Tuesday evening preening an angel's wings, surely he was now.

Almost instantly, his hands stopped what they were doing and retracted themselves from the depths of my feathers. Levi seemed hesitant, when he asked, "...Are you okay?" He paused for the beat of a second, before adding, "What did I do wrong?"

I felt guilty for reacting in the way that I did, but how could I not? Levi should have been used to being delicate around others, especially when cutting their hair and applying their make-up. Then again, he was still new to the concept of angels, pain tolerance included. There was no way I could logically justify being angry with him.

"I'm alright!" I said. "My wings are just a little fragile, so if you wouldn't mind being a bit more gentle, that would be really..."

My mind went foggy and my words lost their passage of delivery, as two hands slid their way up to my shoulders and began kneading at the skin and knotted muscles. I appreciated my reaction, this time around. With my shoulders rolling back and my eyelids beginning to waver, it was difficult to suppress the relieved sigh that had escaped me. "That feels...really good."

"Good," Levi murmured. "It should."

He continued to massage my arms and shoulders for a good ten minutes, before he began bathing me again. He must have seen the slight shudder than crawled up my spine, signaling the water had gone cold, for he began to run the bath water again, this time at a heightened temperature. By the time he turned the faucet off, I was nearly waist deep in the warm mixture of both bubbles and bronzer.

Just as he was about to pull the shower head down to my level and rinse me off, Levi stopped. He appeared to be deep in thought, which prompted me to ask, "What's the matter, Levi?"

He quickly snapped out of his daze. "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about something stupid."

He grabbed one of my wings and began hosing me down, but I wasn't ready to let the conversation end there. "What were you thinking about? You can tell me anything."

He was probably shaking his head at me, because he replied, "Really, it was stupid. I don't want to say it."

I really wished that I hadn't been seated in a forty-eight by thirty-two inch bathtub, otherwise I would have turned around to see what kind of face Levi was making. Trying to sneak a peek at him from over my shoulder just wasn't cutting it.

What if what Levi was thinking about was something that was seriously bothering him? What if it was a mental ailment he'd been dealing with from long before I'd arrived? Was he okay? What he healthy? To me, he appeared to be both, but of course, that was just on the surface. I knew that sometimes, problems went to much deeper, much darker places.

I'd gone and made myself anxious.

"Levi, please tell me," I almost begged. I was forced to bite my tongue.

I heard him sigh in defeat. Setting the shower head aside, letting the gentle spray of the water hit against my knee, Levi rested his elbows on the side of the tub. He mindlessly played with a few feathers that floated along the surface of the water, poking at them and pushing them forward. "I was thinking about you," he finally admitted. "You and me, actually."

"You and me?" My heart started to pound, but I needed clarification. "What were you thinking?"

He pressed one of the feathers down so that it just barely dipped beneath the water, but the second he released his finger, it defiantly popped right back up. Inhaling, he composed himself enough to say, "I was thinking about what you said back in McDonald's. How you said that you wouldn't tell me what our relationship was like, until I'm able remember it. For all I know, we could have been brothers, best friends. We could have been anything, really."

It was a test of my own control, when I cracked a smile and teasingly asked, "Even lovers?"

My breath had nearly left me when Levi plucked up one of the floating feathers, rolled it between his thumb and his index, and said, "It's possible. Like I said, we could have been anything. You're the only one that knows what we were, though."

That wasn't true. I wasn't the only one. Hange knew. Be it that he was referred to as "Hanji" during the time, his memories were no less distant, no less distorted than my own.

I hadn't been expecting the conversation to change so suddenly, but when Levi switched gears and asked me if I was ready to be rinsed, I said that I was and allowed my wings to relax against my shoulders.

The water felt nice, as it rained against my back, but when it coated my feathers, the barbs began to absorb the excessive amount of moisture, causing my shoulders to cave from the extra weight. Breathing a silent prayer when Levi had finally finished, he told me to stand up so that he could wrap a towel around my waist.

"Want me to wrap it like a diaper?" he smirked.

"Haha, very funny," I mumbled, rising into a stand. It was a good thing that Levi had said that, otherwise I would have been too distracted by the fact that I was naked to even think about moving. I mean, sure, Levi had no problem being naked around me, and I had no problem  _seeing_  him naked, no, of course not, but when  _I_  was the one who was in the nude, it was an entirely different agenda.

As he tied a terrycloth towel around my hips, it brought me back to the first time we'd seen each other's skin. I remembered asking him before touching him, the way he watched my every move. I remembered how his eyes traced my fingers, moving with them as they trailed up the length of his arm. I had been nervous. He told me to breathe, and I did. We both breathed. We were alive.

Stepping out of the bathtub, it was with a mighty sense of self-control that I refrained from flapping my wings dry. I noticed that Levi was reaching under the sink to grab what looked like a hairdryer, so I could only assume that it would be used for my wings. Plus, shaking them out would more than likely end with the entire bathroom in a puddle of bath water and loose feathers.

In Levi's bedroom, I sat crisscross applesauce (I blame my mother for that silly saying. She used to say it all the time to the older children at the daycare) while he pushed his nightstand aside. Exposing an empty socket, Levi plugged in the hairdryer and beckoned me to come closer. After I did, he turned it on and began drying my wings.

"Ahh..." My head fell back and my eyes slipped closed.

"Oh, does that feel good?" By his tone, I could tell that Levi seemed genuinely amused by my reaction.

I nodded. "It feels  _so_  good. Do you think you can turn the air speed any higher?"

"Yeah, give me a second." Levi fussed around with the controls of the hairdryer, when suddenly a gust of hot air began to ruffle my feathers. I was immediately telling him to turn it back down.

"That was intense," I laughed lightly. "Do you ever blow dry your hair like that?"

Levi flattened out a small clump of my feathers, and said, "What, on turbo? God, no. I'd ruin my hair. Actually, every human being on the face of this Earth would ruin their hair. I don't even know why they have that level of speed available for people to mess around with. It's like a trap for stupid people." He faltered for a moment. "Does it still feel good?"

"Yeah, it really does," I smiled. "You know, I can understand why Bentley hated baths now."

"Who's Bentley?" he inquired. "An old dog of yours?"

"Yup. I had him a few lifetimes ago. He was a shepherd mix, so he loved to roll around in the grass and get dirty. Oh, but he hated baths. Like, absolutely  _loathed_  them. My dad and I would have to soap him up as much as we could and spray him down with the garden hose, in the summer. But, you know, as much as he hated baths, he simply  _adored_  getting to feel the heat of the blowdryer afterwards. It was almost as rewarding as dog treats, to him."

"So, what you're saying is, you hated that bath just now."

I was able to see the snarky smile that lined Levi's lips, and it was enough to make my cheeks flush red. I had to look away. "Well! I mean, yeah, kind of, but you know, it was  _kind_ of okay. Like, I didn't  _entirely_  hate it. Not all of it."

"Yeah, of course," he said. "You like the hairdryer at the end."

When he'd finished with my left wing, I heard him shift around a bit, before he started working on my right. He paused for a bit, and it almost sounded like he had been looking through one of the drawers in his nightstand.

"Did you need to get something?" I questioned.

"Yeah, actually, could you hold on for a minute?" After I gave a quick nod, Levi handed me the hairdryer. Before I knew it, he was on his feet and was walking out of his bedroom.

Now that I had the chance to get a better look at the hairdryer, I could determine a few things. First of all, it was a burnt orange color, probably the model of Levi's choosing. Secondly, it had a thin tip, one that was clearly used for styling hair. Paired with a comb, I could only imagine the crazy kinds of hairdos people could pull off with that thing. Lastly, there was the speed dial. It had three settings: slow, medium, and turbo. Just for the heck of it, I held the dryer up to my face and switched it to turbo.

The powerful gust of hot air startled me, but the soft chuckle that came from the doorway was enough to make me jump. I quickly turned the setting back down to medium. "Hange?"

"Good evening, mate!" he greeted, still chuckling as he stepped into Levi's bedroom. "How was your bath?"

"Awful," I answered honestly. "It was really, really bad."

Sitting in front of me in the same, crisscross way that I was seated, making it appear like we were about to share campfire stories, Hange latched his hands onto the both of his ankles and began rocking back and forth. "I hear you there," he smiled. "Most of the dogs that I groom hate getting bathed, too. You know, not saying that you're a dog, or anything."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. Just before you came in here, I was actually comparing myself to an old dog of mine. His name was Bentley."

"Aw! That's a cute name!" Hange cooed. "What breed was he?"

"A shepherd mix. He was a pound dog that we had rescued."

Hange seemed to like the sound of that. "Good, good. I always like to hear it when dogs are rescued from shelters and pounds alike. They're the ones that are in need of the most love, you know?"

"Yeah, I agree."

I was grateful that, at just the right moment, I remembered that I had something very important that I needed to tell Hange. Hopefully, we'd be able to discuss my little "issue" before Levi came back.

Lifting my head, I made direct eye contact with him, and asked, "Hange, can I tell you about something that happened last night?"

Hange's excitable attitude died down slightly, as he gave me his full attention. "Go for it, Eren. What's up?"

The communicative aura between us was highly nostalgic, only this time, we weren't talking about Titans or shifters, but rather, we were discussing a more personal topic. "It's Levi. It's something that said in his sleep."

"In his sleep?" Hange tilted his head to the side curiously. "What did he say?"

Nerves began to bundle in my stomach, shooting shocks of sheepishness throughout my veins. Hange had known about my relationship with Levi, I knew that, but it never made talking about those sorts of things any less awkward. However, if this tidbit of information was a step closer to having Levi remember his past, it was a hop, skip, or jump that I was willing to take.

"He said," I began, trying to keep my voice relatively low, "he said, 'I love you, Eren.' Just like that."

With wide eyes, Hange pushed up his glasses. "Whoa, seriously?" He kept his voice just as low as mine. "Are you sure it was him?"

"I couldn't have been anyone else, Hange. We were the only ones present. Just him and me."

"Wow, wow, wow. Like,  _wow_." Now, Hange was on his feet, pacing back and forth pensively. "Was he dreaming? Did he say anything else? Did he try to do anything to you? Are you  _sure_  he was asleep?"

Hange had asked me too many questions to mentally process in one go. Fidgeting, I did my very best to respond adequately. "Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure he was dreaming. No, he didn't say anything else. He didn't do anything to me; I was all the way at the other side of his bed, and yeah, I'm pretty sure he was asleep. He was really tired. We both were, actually."

Nodding at each of my answers, Hange stopped pacing and sat down on the edge of Levi's bed. I had a feeling that Levi wouldn't like the idea of that if he were to see it for himself, but it wasn't like I had any right to tell Hange what he should or shouldn't be doing. It just wasn't my place. Also, if I knew Hange like I had known Hanji, there was a good chance that he really wouldn't care whether or not his actions would annoy Levi. Sometimes, I felt like he did silly things just for spite.

With my nerves beginning to resurface, my wings began to flutter. My left wing flapped at a considerably quicker speed than my right - given that it was completely dry - while my other was still waiting on Levi for him to come back and continue. Then again, where was Levi? He'd been gone for quite some time. Was he okay? He didn't slip and fall did he? After all, my wings must have left a slippery trail from the bathroom to his bedroom. He was smart enough to watch his step, right?

Okay, maybe I was getting nervous over more things than I'd originally anticipated.

"Hange," I spoke softly, settling my wings against my back, "what do you think it means?"

"You're talking about what Levi said, right?" I nodded. Shrugging his shoulders, he sighed slowly. "You know, Eren, it's really hard to say. It could mean lots of things. I'd like to think that he's starting to remember the past, and I'm sure you feel the same way, but right now, it's really difficult to make any sort of conclusion on this type of matter."

My deflated expression must have prompted Hange to add, "But don't worry! I'm sure he'll remember soon enough. I'm still holding out for Erwin to remember, too."

Yes, that was right. Levi wasn't the only one who was left in the dark about the past. And the more that I thought about it, neither was Erwin. "Oh, Hange!" I said quickly. "Did you know that Levi's boss is Mikasa?"

He nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I knew that. I'm very sorry, Eren..." From that alone, I knew that he must have tried having a conversation with her in a past encounter. Without him having to say anything else, I could already tell that it had led him down the same route that it had taken me. "In your case, it's even more upsetting. You two were-"

"Yeah, I know..." I hadn't meant to interrupt him, but I'm almost certain that he understood where I was coming from. I didn't need to hear it twice.

"And you and Levi, " Hange murmured. "It must be tough. I must be really, really tough."

I bit my lip, holding back the words that I knew would only leave a sour taste on my palate. It was tough,  _very_ tough. As much as I was grateful to be with Levi again, taking over the role of the protector instead of the protected, it still hurt knowing that I carried the burden of our prior relationship alone. No one was at fault of this, of course. It wasn't like I could be angry with Levi for his lack of memories. Maybe he  _did_  have them in one of his past lives. Maybe he'd spent the entirety of it searching  _just_  for me. It was sad to say it, but that was merely the cycle of life. However, these false hopes were what had lightened my mood enough to be able to respond to Hange.

"It's different," I said, taking the opposite direction of where my mind was telling me to go, "but I'll make the best of it. I'm here to guard and protect Levi as he currently is, not wallow and sulk around about the past that we used to share." Looking to my lap, my fingers began to squeeze against the handle of the hairdryer, still blowing lightly against my thigh. "And even if he doesn't remember, I can't bring myself to be upset over it." I squeezed harder. "I'll...I'll always love him. No matter what."

I could tell that Hange was about to try and rest his hand against my shoulder, before he remembered that such a thing was impossible for him. He chuckled softly, while I shifted my legs, hoping to ease some of the embarrassment that was, by no doubt, still lingering on both of our outward expressions.

My heart skipped a beat, when Levi had finally returned. In my haste, I jumped to my feet and dropped the hairdryer. Not only that, but the towel that had been wrapped around my waist came loose. It fell straight to my ankles. If my face wasn't red enough before, surely it was now.

"My, my, my, Eren!" Hange smiled. "You sure do love being around Levi, huh?"

I was already bending over to retrieve my towel, by the time he had said that. God, I was so embarrassed. After everything that Hange and I had just finished talking about, too. It was like the world was putting a big, fat cherry on the very tippy-top of my cupcake of catastrophe.

"Stop bullying him, Hange," Levi said, throwing him a sideways glare. "And get out of my room. You're going to get it dirty."

"What?!" He seemed offended. "How am I going to get it dirty?! I'm not even doing anything! And I was being so good, too! Eren and I were simply having a nice conversation, weren't we, Eren?"

I didn't want to be dragged into the middle of their feud, and luckily, I didn't have to be. Levi had come to my defense.

"Don't bring Eren into this," he advised. Reaching beside my foot to grab the fallen hairdryer, Levi picked it up and held it to Hange's face, much like a victim at gunpoint. "Now get out." He switched it to turbo.

Hange was flailing at the air and rushing out of the room, before I even got the chance to thank him for our conversation. Nothing had really been accomplished because of it, but it did give me peace of mind to know that there was still a sliver, even if it was just a tiny inkling of hope that Levi had the ability to recollect his past.

With the towel tied back around my hips, Levi asked me to sit down so that he could finish drying off my other wing. I was still curious as to where he had disappeared to, and there was nothing there to stop me from asking, "Where were you, Levi? What did you need?"

All I had to do was blink, before a bottle of hand lotion appeared before my eyes. Well, that had answered one of my questions, but now I was forced to ask another. "What do you need that for? Are you hands feeling dry?"

He lifted the bottle back over my head and squeezed a small amount of the citrusy-smelling blend into one of his hands. I'd been so used to the warm air blowing against my back from the hairdryer that when I'd felt Levi's hand rubbing the cold lotion between the small junction of skin that separated my wings, I had to physically stop myself from reacting over dramatically.

"That's cold!" I yelped. I still didn't understand why he was putting lotion on my back, either. "What are you doing?"

"Your skin is so ridiculously delicate that it was starting to dry out from all of the warm air," Levi explained, continuing to alternate between rubbing in the lotion, as well as drying off my right wing.

I felt touched, because of Levi's kind gesture. He'd gone out of his way to find lotion, just so that it would be of benefit me. I wanted to thank him, I also wanted to hug him, but by the time I'd mustered up the courage to do the prior, Levi was already speaking once again.

What he'd said caused my eyes to widen with fear.

"What did Hange mean, when he said that it must be really tough? What was he talking about?"

I didn't want to show it, but I was beginning to panic. Levi had heard that? What else did he hear? He didn't hear me, when I'd said that I'd always love him, did he? What about my thoughts? He didn't hear those, right? Oh, wait. Those were  _my_  thoughts. No one else could hear those, accept for me. Duh.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied nervously. Bad mistake, on my part. Levi could sense my hesitance.

"Yeah, you do," he persisted. "You and Hange were talking about me."

"Levi, I'd rather not-"

"What did you mean, when you said that you'd always love me?"

Crap. So, he did hear that.

Like clockwork, Levi had finished drying my wing. With the hairdryer turned off, the silence that cut through the room was almost suffocating. I wanted to gasp for air, but somehow, I knew that even with lungs full of blended oxygen, it wouldn't be nearly enough to curb my feeling of compression.

"Levi," I whispered, doing my best to keep my voice steady, "I think it would be best if you forget everything that you just heard. Until you're able to regain the memories for yourself, what you just overheard will only serve to confuse you."

"Hange remembers." It was a statement, not a question.

"...That's something you need to discuss with him, Levi."

He didn't quit. "Hange  _knows_  who you are."

I didn't respond, but I let him continue.

"He also knows what our relation to one another was, doesn't he?"

Silence. Uncomfortable silence. Nothing like the silence that he and I used to relish in, after a long day of training. I couldn't respond. I couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything, but breathe.

The silence was altered, by the gentle sound of jean material rubbing together. Levi was standing up, moving to unplug the hairdryer from its socket and set it aside on his nightstand. Neither of us spoke. Neither of us admitted that it was awkward.

Not surprisingly, it wasn't before long that I was apologizing. "I'm sorry." They were they only words that seemed to fit into the jigsaw-puzzle-of-a-situation that we were in.

"Don't apologize," he said, nearly inaudibly. "I shouldn't have pestered you like that. You've already told me that you won't give me any answers, until I start remembering things for myself. If anyone should be saying that they're sorry, it should be me."

No, I wouldn't be having any of that. None of this put Levi at fault, so he had absolutely no reason to apologize for anything.

"You don't have to apologize, Levi. Really, I'm the one who's sorry."

As Levi came back into view, I found myself looking up at him. It was strange to say it, but with the way that he'd lifted one of his eyebrows in an amused manner, somehow, all of the tension that had built up like a brick wall between us came crumbling down.

"Are we going to apologize like this to each other all night, or are we going to let bygones be bygones and just forget about all of this?"

I liked the sound of that. Letting bygones be bygones. Yeah, that would work.

"Bygones," I said, a small smile forming on my lips.

I was more than elated to see that Levi mimicked my expression, showing me a small smile of his own. "Good," he stated, holding out a hand that I presumed was for me to take. "Now, let's find you something else to wear."

It took a good fifteen minutes or so, before Levi had found a pair of flannel pajamas that were too large on him. They were perfect for me, and not only that, but the top was a snazzy button up. In order for my wings to sit comfortably within the top, Levi suggested that I just wear the shirt on backwards and that he'd only fasten half of the buttons. His trick had worked like a charm, and by the time we were both comfy and cozy, ready to go to sleep, it was nearing midnight.

"Thank you for cleaning my wings," I said, climbing onto the edge of Levi's bed.

"Don't mention it. You were an eyesore," he snickered.

"That's rude."

"That's me."

After he crawled under his covers and turned off his bedside lamp, Levi had said, "Goodnight, Eren," an endearment that I'd reciprocated, before he was soon after consumed by his fatigue.

I, however, had some difficulty falling asleep. It wasn't because I wasn't tired, no, I was  _exhausted_. I think it may have had something to do with the fact that I had gotten so used to the idea of watching over Levi constantly that the thought of being away from him for just one second, even if it was through our own unconsciousness, was one second too much.

When I heard Levi's bedsheets begin to ruffle, I wondered if he was waking up. Maybe he forgot to use the bathroom one last time, or maybe he needed a glass of water. "Levi, are you awake?"

"You're...going to be okay...mmph."

I froze.

"Damnit, Eren...!"

That was my name.

"...You're going to...to make it out of this mess alive...do you...do you..."

I finished the words for him, and after many centuries of not being able to give him the response that he had undoubtedly desired, I softly whispered, "Yes, Levi. I hear you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas! Even if you don't celebrate, I still hope that you had a lovely holiday week.
> 
> Think of this extra long chapter (4,800+ words, wow) as my Christmas gift to all of you! You guys are so lovely, and the reviews that you give me really make my day, so thank you very much for taking the time out of yours to do so!
> 
> I really hope that you've enjoyed this chapter! Can you believe that the next chapter will be chapter 10 already? I can't. It's crazy.
> 
> \- Chappy


	10. Mind Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Wednesday, cleaning day.

"Wake up."

It was the first thing I heard upon rising, mostly because it was the only thing that had officially  _caused_  me to rise. When had I fallen asleep, and for how long? After hearing Levi relay his dream through muffled nonsense, I remembered not being able to settle down for a good portion of the night. Given that I was just waking up now, I guess I must have actually rested for a bit.

"I said  _wake up_."

This time, I felt a hand hesitantly brush along my feathers. It must have been an attempt to coax me out of my slumber, an attempt that was very successful.

As my wings stretched open and my surroundings became visible, I could only wonder what time it was. Those darn black-out curtains sure had a way of messing with my head. Why didn't Levi ever pull them back? Wouldn't letting a fraction of light into his room do him some good? It felt like it was too early to be thinking so much.

"Alright, now that you're awake, get up."

Levi was rounding, rather, he was pacing the side of his bed irritably. What was the matter with him? He looked very upset, something that I did not appreciate in the slightest.

With a large yawn, I obeyed his request and climbed off of his bed. Did I dare ask him any questions? Actually, yeah, I did. "What are you doing, Levi? And by the way, what time is it?"

He was in some higher state of zen, when he responded, "It's 6:03AM, three minutes later than I usually start, and I'm trying to make my bed."

Three minutes later than he usually started? What was he talking about? I wanted to know, but I also did not want to break his focus.

As Levi straightened his bedsheets, I observed him extra curiously. Somehow, he had managed to wake up and get dressed without my knowledge, an idea that didn't sit well with me at all. I was supposed to guard him at all times, but my body had an annoying way of forcing me into fatigue. If only I had the capability of staying awake to watch him sleep all night long. That would have been...nice.

"Excuse me," Levi said, bringing me back from my daze.

"Oh! Sorry," I quickly apologized. I shifted to my right, so he could pass by. "Do you always have to make your bed this early? I thought you liked to sleep in. We did it yesterday."

"Yesterday was Tuesday," he responded certainly. "Today is Wednesday."

Well, yeah, that was true, but why the strange phrasing?

"Are Wednesdays special, or something?" I wondered, having a feeling that he mentioned something about the day before.

Fluffing one of his pillows and propping it proudly against the headboard of his bed, Levi turned his gaze toward me, and said, "Yeah. Wednesday is cleaning day."

Oh, that was right! I could vaguely remember it, but Levi had definitely said something about cleaning the apartment on Wednesdays before. I hadn't realized that he started such a thing so early, though. Did it really take him that long to do everything?

Smiling, I questioned, "Is there anything I can do to help?" If there was anything that would lessen Levi's work load, I would be more than happy to provide my services. Wait, my services? I wasn't a maid. Even Levi had told me that I wasn't a maid. I really had to stop acting like one.

"Uh...?" From just his tone alone, I could tell that cleaning was something he'd much rather do on his own. Still, it didn't hurt to offer, right?

"I mean, I can help you fold clothes, or maybe dust the places that are too high for you to-"

Oh, crap.

Levi's greyish eyes narrowed vehemently, acquiring the very same, deathly glare that had soldiers cringing in terror since the 850s. I swallowed. No, it was more of a gulp. Whatever it was, it was in fear.

"What are you getting at, Eren?" he spoke lowly, questioningly. "Are you trying to say something about my height?"

As per normal, my wings began to flutter. Good thing it was cleaning day, because small, fluffy under feathers began to fall delicately to the floor. The "shedding" must have been caused by my bath last night. Wow, I really  _was_  like a dog.

"Of c-course not!" I stammered. Honestly, his height hadn't even...okay, that's a lie. It did come to mind, but that's not why I had said it.

Okay, maybe that was a lie, too.

Levi's lie detector must have been on top of its mark, because the look of absolute I'm-not-buying-what-you're-selling on his face was enough to tell me just that. He didn't believe me. Regardless, he proceeded to ask, "What were you trying to get at, then?"

I hated being put on the spot. "I was, I just, I mean...you know?" I really hated being put on the spot.

Levi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, combing back his fringe. He shook his head. "Forget it. Forget what I said. Just, just come with me."

As Levi stalked out of his bedroom, I stalked right behind him.

The apartment was dark and quiet, allowing me to wonder if either Hange or Erwin were even awake yet. I didn't know Hange's work schedule, so for all I knew, he could have had the day off. As for Erwin, he must have had classes later in the afternoon.

"Hange and Erwin are both still sleeping, yes."

"Okay, are you a mind reader, because if you are, I-"

Levi interrupted my frantic fit with the sound of his soft chuckling. "I'm not a mind reader. I'm just good at reading people. You were looking around kind of longingly, so I figured you must have been searching for them. Like I said, though, they're sleeping. Erwin has class at noon, and Hange is working the night shift." I followed him into the kitchen, as he continued to say, "With the both of them in their rooms and out of my way, Wednesdays are perfect for getting all of the house chores done."

"So, what do you do?" As he approached the sink, I saw him turn on the faucet and slip on a pair of gaudy, yellow cleaning gloves. Honestly, I thought those things only existed in retro cartoons and daytime TV commercials.

Pointing to the mountain of plates and plastic soup cartons, he replied, "I usually start with the dishes. It's the most annoying task, because it takes forever and I'm the only one around here who does them. From here, I usually move on to the bathroom." Grabbing one of the plates, Levi began to scrub its surface with a thick dish sponge. "Because of your bath last night, I can only imagine how much extra cleaning it will need."

It was like my wings had a mind of their own, when they slumped guiltily against my back. Then again, as the tips of my feathers brushed against something soft instead of against my skin, I soon realized that I was still wearing Levi's pajamas. I must have looked as dorky as I felt, given that the top was buttoned up backwards.

Just before I had the chance to apologize, Levi reached for another plate, and said, "Look, I'm not a mind reader, I swear, but I can tell that you're probably a breath away from apologizing, so don't. It wasn't your fault. It was the devil's fault for startling you."

Now that I knew Levi's boss was Mikasa, I had to admit that I really disliked it whenever he referred to her as "the devil". I mean, sure, she was a lot different from how she used to be, but she wasn't anywhere close to being a devil. Maybe it was another angel thing, but the mention of an evil entity made my skin crawl and my muscles twitch.

"I shouldn't have called her that. I'm sorry."

My head shot up, and I was instantly granted with Levi's trained gaze. He was looking at me from over his shoulder, his hands still diligently scrubbing at a pesky patch of dried ketchup. The expression of disbelief that I must have been giving him caused him to quickly add, "I'm not a mind reader."

"How do you always know what I'm thinking, then?!" I cried, in my defense. It was like he was working his way into my brain and viewing all of my thoughts. Otherwise, how did he always know what to say? Why were all of his responses exactly what I wanted to hear?

After resting a wooden spoon onto a drying rack, Levi sighed and turned off the faucet for the time being. He removed his gloves and slowly spun around to face me completely. With his hip resting against the counter, he answered, "You know, I said that I'm pretty good at reading people, but it's like you're especially easy to read. For whatever reason, I understand you, and I understand what effects you. Me calling Mikasa a devil, I could tell that it hurt your feelings. After all, she used to be your sister. It was pretty low of me, and I'm sorry."

Stunned beyond words, I could only nod in return. I was horribly overwhelmed. The way in which Levi had spoken to me - what he had said, rather - was like a dip into the past. The Levi that used to love me, he always knew whenever something was amiss in my behavior.

I reminisced over the way that he used to stroke my cheek, coaxing the words of my worries from my lips. Even if my fears were trivial, even if they were childish and unnecessary, Levi was right there, telling me everything that I wanted, no,  _needed_  to hear. He  _understood_  me.

"...Eren?"

"Sorry!" I jumped, forcing myself out of my moment of nostalgia.

Levi quirked one of his eyebrows at me. "You know, it's kind of strange to apologize to the person who's apologizing to you."

He had a point. "I know, I know. I'm apologizing, because I kind of zoned out for a second. But yeah, no, you don't have to apologize. I mean, I don't want you feeling like you should have to filter your vocabulary, just so that I'm more comfortable."

"Actually, that's exactly  _why_  I have to do it." I was confused. Of course, he knew that right away, too. "If you're going to be a part of my life for as long as I'm still around, I don't want you to have to feel like you're forcing yourself to be with me. I want it to be natural. Actually, I want our entire relationship to be natural."

"But I'm not forcing myself!" I protested quickly, my wings aflutter. "I'm not forcing myself at all! Levi, I love-" Freeze. Stop right there. With my heart all but pounding out of my chest, I was able to change, albeit sloppily, the direction of my phrase. "...Being around you! I love being around you!"

There was no sense in trying to calm my rapidly beating heart, because now, it had an entirely new reason to race.

With agonizingly slow steps, Levi began to walk toward me. From the time he had turned around, his eyes had never once left sight of my own. Whether I was flattered or troubled by that, I really couldn't tell.

When his lips parted with the signal of speech, I'm pretty sure my heart, the very same heart that was running a marathon, skipped for a fraction of a beat.

"Was that really what you were going to say?" Levi murmured, his voice so low, so predatory that my instincts were telling me to take a step back.

I went against them, and remained still.

"What do you mean?" I smiled nervously. It was my failed attempt of trying to play off my paranoia.

Another step, another skip of a beat.

"Just now," Levi said, not daring to speak above a whisper, "were you really going to say that you loved being around me, or did you want to say something else?"

I couldn't lie. There was no point to it. Not only did it leave me with an awful taste in my mouth, but I generally hated the idea of lies.

Still, silence was not the same as a lie. It was in that neutral, in between area that didn't quite qualify it as being a lie, but didn't exactly make it the truth, either. In a circumstance such as this, it was my only option.

My eyes studied Levi's face, before they switched gears and began to study the floor. The black and white tiles that lined our toes looked recently polished. A week's worth of feet must have walked across them, and the tiles still boasted a brilliant shine. Then again, that was the product of Levi's standard method of cleaning. Of course they still looked amazing. If he didn't settle for less in the past, there was no way he would settle for less now.

It was far beyond my expectation, when I felt rough skin delicately grace the side of my face. My initial reaction was to jerk away, but my better judgment warned me not to. There was nothing to be afraid of, especially since those slim, familiar fingers were what guided my eyes into Levi's direct line of vision. He was looking at me, and I was looking at him, utterly speechless.

"You heard me, didn't you, Eren?"

My body betrayed my mind, as I nodded. I could answer that much, because after all, I  _did_  hear him.

I felt Levi's grasp tighten around my chin. It wasn't an act of dominance; he was merely letting me know that he had no intention of letting me go, until he received a verbal response. "I'm not asking you to tell me what you were going to say, Eren," he breathed, a statement that allowed me to relax, if only just the slightest bit, "but I am asking you to tell me the truth. Were you about to say something else?"

There was nothing to lose, right?

Levi wasn't dumb. Obviously, he'd be able to place two and two together, and calculate what had nearly left my mouth. I'd practically blurted out everything, but one word.

The bob of my Adam's apple signified that I wasn't entirely at ease, but with a steady stance and prominently piqued wings, I whispered, "...Yes. Yes, I was." Did I regret my choice? Hardly. Levi was already releasing me from his grip and turning away.

Now that he had resumed washing the dishes, I was left to my own devices, which were better known as those pesky things called "my thoughts". Even though his hand was long gone, the sensation of his touch lingered. Those hands, they weren't as calloused as I remembered. Still rough, yes, but not as rugged. In fact, the heel of his palm had been so soft, just thinking about it made my cheeks flush. If only his hands remembered the feeling of my skin, as much as mine remembered the feeling of his...

Before I had the chance to crawl into the deeper, more intimate crevices of my mind, a dish towel had been flung my way, landing directly on my face.

"Hey!" I shouted. I pulled it off, and quickly shook my head. "What was that for?"

"Toss it back," Levi said, readying his arm for the catch.

I threw it back to him, but he still hadn't answered my question. "What was that  _for_?" I repeated.

Picking up a cereal bowl, he shrugged and began drying it. "You were spacing out. Your face got all red, and I was pretty sure you were about to explode, so I tried to knock you out of whatever daydream you were having. Looks like it worked."

Well, that was embarrassing. Whatever the case, I dared myself to move closer to Levi. It was kind of odd how he was all the way over at the sink, and I was just standing in the middle of the kitchen, fantasizing about our past. It made me feel like some sort of creep.

"Weird," I laughed awkwardly. "I wonder why that happened." Thankfully, he didn't proceed to question my peculiar behavior. He simply stepped aside, as I moved in beside him.

Just as I was about to offer a helping hand, my attention was immediately drawn elsewhere. Clearly, Levi's was, too.

"Whoa..."

Levi was looking over his shoulder, mesmerized by the fact that the span of my wing was wide enough to encompass his entire back, with room to spare. I watched his eyes dance along my feathers, studying their color and just barely giving into the temptation of touching them. I didn't see any problem with that. After all, he spent most of last night washing and drying them. He deserved to feel them at their best.

"Go ahead," I prompted, with a smile. "You can touch them. I don't mind."

I trusted that Levi would be gentle with me. There was absolutely no reason for me to fear otherwise. If this morning served as any indication, when he'd stroked his hand across my wings in a manner so lightly, I was more than ready to feel that tender touch again.

When he lifted his hand to my right wing, I caught a glimpse of Levi's eyes. He looked as if he wanted to ask for my approval - which I'd already given to him - before he physically touched me. That wouldn't do. Not for me.

I reached for his hand with the both of my own. At first, I was a bit taken by how cold it was. Hadn't he been washing the dishes just a second ago? Surely he wasn't using cold water for that.

Reminded of the way in which I'd warmed up his hands before, I carefully blew against the surface of his palm, cascading his skin in the fragile warmth that only _I_ could provide.

"This feels familiar," Levi said, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. He flexed his fingers within my hold.

I couldn't have agreed more. "It does, doesn't it?"

As I was guiding his hand to my wing, I was able to realize the volume behind the words we had just spoken to each other. A sense of familiarity; we had established one. It wasn't the same as the familiarity we used to share, but we were starting. This was our beginning, and I was excited.

"I can't get over how soft they are," Levi breathed. As his hand caressed the natural curve of my wing, he looked to me for what I assumed to be a reaction, a response of some sort.

"I don't know if I should say 'thank you' or 'I can't get over it, either'," I chuckled. "It's still kind of mind blowing to me, too."

"I bet." He fed his fingers through the edges of my feathers, tracing their shape. "They're pretty."

My wings began to fluff against his touch. "...Pretty?"

Levi rose an eyebrow at me. "Well, what did you want me to call them? Manly?"

"Um, yeah?" I wasn't being serious. My unsuppressed snicker blew my cover, not like I really  _had_ one to begin with.

Playfully shoving my shoulder, Levi turned around and finished drying the dishes. I wanted to help, I really did, but I knew he would disregard my offer. He was independent, and I would allow him to indulge that. However, when he started to reach for a shelf that was just beyond his range, I knew it was time to step in.

"You know, Levi," I tried, but he instantly cut me off.

"No. Nope. Don't even."

I huffed. Was he really going to do this? "But, Levi-"

"I said don't, Eren." His tone was venomous, bone-chilling even. Where had our pleasant atmosphere gone?

I decided to give him some space, even though something from within was telling me to stay close. It was a sensation unlike any other, far more potent than my desire to be by Levi's side at all times. This feeling was different. It felt...dangerous.

It took less than a second for me to figure out why.

Just as Levi was propping himself onto the counter, plate in hand, attempting to avoid the dish rack, he somehow managed to forget that near your standard drying rack, things were a little...wet.

Everything happened so quickly that it was hard to understand the event. All I knew was that one moment, Levi was perfectly fine, climbing up the side of the countertop, and the next, I was huddled over him on the floor, capturing him in my arms, and protecting him from broken shards of glass.

My wings had circled him like an umbrella, while my arms tightened and held him close to my chest. Had I overreacted? I couldn't say for sure. Although, one thing that I  _could_  say was that Levi was visibly shaken up.

"Did that...really just happen?" he questioned, disbelief painting his face.

"I...I think so," I replied, quite possibly just as shocked as he was. Taking in our surroundings, I was able to determine what had caused Levi's chain reaction of catastrophe. First of all, the counter was soaking wet. During the transfer from the sink to the drying rack, the dishes must have ended up carrying along a decent amount of water with them. Secondly, from the way that the dish rack looked like it had been pushed forward, I could only theorize that Levi had pressed either his palm or his knee too forcefully against the counter, causing him slip. In his haste to steady himself, the shards of thick glass that coated both the counter and the floor suggested that he must have dropped the plate. I guess that's where I came in.

My body had reacted purely on impulse, and besides the circumstance, it was almost invigorating to realize that  _I_  had been the one to catch Levi.  _I_ had been the one to protect him. No one else had done that. That act of adrenaline was entirely on me.

Helping him to his feet, I apologized for startling him so thoroughly. It wasn't a second after the "sorry" had left my lips that his hand was covering my mouth.

"Are you  _really_  apologizing for what you just did, Eren?"

Well, considering that I had just said that I was sorry, a nod of my head seemed to be appropriate.

"You're apologizing for doing your  _job_?"

Wait. Wait, he was right. He was completely and absolutely right. Was I an idiot? What was I apologizing for? I had protected Levi. I...had  _protected_  Levi! With the knowledge of such a thing still so fresh, I found it almost impossible to contain my delight.

Flashing Levi a grand smile from beneath his hand, I dusted off his shoulders and straightened out his sweatshirt. I wasn't exactly sure if he even appreciated the motherly gesture. He didn't put a stop to it, though, so I figured it was okay.

"You're right," I murmured, finally removing his hand from my mouth. Even though Levi had been in minimal danger, it still felt  _amazing_  to put my guardian angel status to good purpose. "I probably shouldn't have apologized, but I couldn't help myself. Saying sorry was the first thing that came to mind."

I heard Levi sigh, as he bent over and began collecting the plate shards that had fallen to the floor. Sweeping up the smaller pieces with his hands, he whispered, "Apologizing shouldn't always be your default response, especially when you haven't even done anything wrong."

Again, he was right. Lending him a hand by picking up the plate pieces that had landed on the counter, we both tossed the broken remnants into the garbage can beneath the sink.

Once that was said and done, Levi eyed a few more plates that needed to be put away. Swallowing his pride for probably the first time in his life, he asked, "Can you...help me with those?"

Knowing that words would only ruin this Kodak moment, I smiled sweetly, nodded, and reached for one of the plates.

 

* * *

 

Come noon, I had spent the entire morning following Levi around as he cleaned the apartment. His prior definition of "from top to bottom" really hadn't been a joke. From floors to high bookshelves, Levi left the place looking better than a magazine ad. I had to admit, I was pretty amazed. His cleaning skills had exceeded my expectations, leaving me to believe that reincarnation upon reincarnation must have been spent preparing him for moments like this.

While Levi was finishing his final touch ups, the sound of frantic footsteps caused both of our heads to look up.

"Sleeping Beauty is finally awake," Levi chuckled, as he swung his bottle of glass cleaner by its nozzle. I had to cringe at that nickname, even if it wasn't directed towards me. It reminded me too heavily of Jean. Ugh.

"Yeah, yeah, and Sleeping Beauty is late," Erwin scoffed. He combed his hand through his hair, clearly not minding that it looked less than stellar. I was sure that Levi would have something to say about that, but he held his tongue.

Keeping up with the conversation, though, Levi wondered, "Who's the professor today? Is he strict?"

Erwin was looking himself over in a mirror that was situated on the wall, by the front door. He straightened his sweater, and answered, "No, he's pretty lenient, so I think I'll be okay. Plus, I'm his top student."

"What's his name?"

I felt kind of strange being the observer of a conversation that I wasn't a part of. Still, I remained silent and waited for his answer just like Levi.

"Mr. Arlert." What. "Okay, I really have to go now, so I'll see you later. You have work this afternoon, right? I'll bring burgers home for dinner. Sound cool?" Wait, what?

"Yeah, sounds cool to me. Later."

Wait, hold on. Arlert? As in...Armin Arlert? Was Erwin's professor...Armin? No, that couldn't have been right. Hange would have told me. Then again, he had failed to inform me that Levi's boss was Mikasa.

"Aw, crap," I heard Levi call out, from the other room. Wait, the other room? When did he...?

In search of his location, I asked, "What is it? What's the matter?"

I found him in the dining room, holding what looked to be a textbook in his hands. "Erwin forgot his Geography book here. We have to bring it to him."

"We do?" I questioned at first. Then, the idea of being able to catch a glimpse of Erwin's professor had crossed my mind, and I was quickly agreeing with him. "I mean, we do!"

"Alright, let me grab my shoes," Levi said, "and you...wait, are people going to be able to see you?"

Baffled by his question, I asked him to clarify. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know..." He gestured toward the pajamas I was borrowing. "Those aren't your...angel clothes. Is it going to look like a pair of floating pajamas is following me?"

At first, I was surprised by the innocence of his question. After the initial shock had faded, I could only muffle a laugh. "I think you're confusing me with a ghost, Levi. Angels, we're very different from ghosts. Also, we're not really supposed to talk about them, so I'd rather not get into too much detail. All I know is that you and anyone else who has ever crossed my life path will be able to see me. Everyone else will not. I guess that refers to any articles of clothing I'm wearing, as well."

Levi nodded at that, undoubtedly finding it interesting. "That's pretty cool. I guess that would also explain why no one saw a smear of bronzer and mascara floating around yesterday. Alright, we have to go. Come on."

After Levi slipped on his boots and grabbed his keys, I followed him out of the apartment and down the stairs. Outside of the complex, I opted to take flight. There was never a time when stretching my wings felt anything less than godly, so I allowed myself to enjoy the opportunity to its fullest.

By the time we'd reached the college campus, I had half a mind to ask Levi if he knew where he was going, but something in the way that he seemed to be completely confident in his sense of direction suggested that this wasn't the first time Erwin had forgotten his book.

Landing less than gracefully, I followed behind Levi, as he entered one of the many buildings. Something about what we were doing felt illegal - after all, Levi wasn't even a student - but I kept my mouth shut and my feet moving.

On the uppermost floor, Levi placed a kick in his stride, and started toward one of the very last doors on the right. It was a bit of a struggle to keep up, but I managed. I needed answers. I needed to know if Erwin's professor was...

"Today, we are going to be reviewing the material that was on your exams last week. I find it quite disheartening that nearly all of you failed them. Did you forget to study?"

How Levi had managed to slip into the classroom without being noticed was far beyond my knowledge, however, I was much too stunned to even focus on that right now.

Standing just feet away, marking the whiteboard with the goals for today's lesson, was my past comrade, my witty companion, my only best friend.

"...Armin?"

Stupid. I was stupid. I was so, incredibly stupid.

At the sound of his name, the professor's head turned to look at the doorway. As if the sight of an angel standing outside of his classroom wasn't enough of a shock, surely the sight of an angel wearing backwards pajamas would do him in.

I watched his breath waver and his eyes go wide. I waited for it. I waited for the same reaction that I'd received so many times before. It would hurt, I knew it would, but I was ready this time.

What I got was entirely different.

"...Eren?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Yay, long chapter. Yay, more cliffhangers. Obviously, this one is a bit of a doozy. I hope it's left you looking forward for more!
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read, and as always, I hope you've enjoyed!
> 
> \- Chappy


	11. Unexpected Occurrences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The unexpected is always right around the corner.

You know that feeling you get, when you feel like the moment you close your eyes, you'll open them up to reality? That the dream you've been living will make itself known and you'll be forced to get up, brush yourself off, and start over? If I could place that very feeling into a mathematical equation, I was probably experiencing ten times over the legal limit of surreality.

There was no doubt about it. Armin knew who I was. He  _remembered_.

Our eyes were locked and our lips were loaded, years of unspoken conversations lingering on either of our tongues. A reunion through random encounter...there wasn't any time for this. Obviously, he had a class to teach. And me, I had to watch over Levi.

Wait. Where was Levi?

"Come on, Eren." I heard a whispered voice spoken close to my ear. It was with that whisper that a sense of security washed over me. However, it was still beyond my wildest of imaginations how Levi's stealth level was high enough for him to sneak into a classroom that was full of students and not get caught by the professor. Then again, I guess I kind of had a part in his successful mission. I served to be a pretty good distraction. "Eren, let's go."

"Eren..." It was Armin who had said it. "Is that...you?"

Yes, it was me. Armin, of  _course_  it was me. I looked the same, didn't I? Remember when you compared my expression to that of a criminal? Or worse, _Jean_? Honestly, he and I looked nothing alike. Especially not now.

I could sense Levi's frustration, just as much as I could sense his confusion. Both emotions were practically radiating off of him and against my arm. He had been tugging it, trying to get me to follow him, but the moment he had heard Armin's voice calling out to me, he was knowledgeable enough in the way that this whole angel thing worked to know what that meant.

And me, why couldn't I respond? Was I afraid? No, hardly. Armin was my best friend. Well, Armin  _was_ my best friend. Just in the same way that Mikasa  _was_  my sister, Erwin  _was_  my commander, and Levi...

"Everyone." My gaze was instantly snapped back into focus. "Turn to the second unit in your textbooks and review the material again. Pay special attention to page thirty-four and thirty-eight and take notes. I will reschedule your exam for the day after tomorrow. Group up and treat this class as a study period. I expect you all get passing grades this time around. Now, if you'd excuse me for a moment."

My heart dropped into my stomach, as I watched him approach me. He was so tall, much taller than I could have ever estimated him to grow. His shoulders were strong and broad, gently swaying with each step he took.

It must have seemed strange that my initial reaction was to back away from him. Then again, could you really blame me? This was something I hadn't been expecting. Suspecting? Yeah, maybe a little bit. With Erwin calling his professor "Mr. Arlert", how could I not? Still, was I expecting it? Not at all.

Closing the door behind him as he exited the classroom, it was made boldly apparent that Armin's eyes had never once left mine. Not even when he had addressed his class, and he had still been able to remain surprisingly direct. I swallowed. He spoke again.

"Eren, it is you, isn't it?"

It was amazing how much his voice had deepened with age. This wasn't the little, barely pre-pubescent voice that I remembered. No, this voice was strong, steady. It was composed of all of the credentials necessary for terming it as professional.

I nodded my head in a way that made it seem as if I was unsure of my answer. Wait, was it me? I wasn't so certain anymore.

"Um, can someone  _please_  tell me what's going on here?"

For the sake of Levi's sanity, I was able to find my voice. Clearing my throat and straightening my shoulders served to do me pretty good. With my new posture and my phlegm-free throat, I was finally ready to say, "It's been...a while."

He laughed softly, and it was through Armin that all of the negative, nervous energy dissipated. "A while is a bit of an understatement, Eren. Seriously, how long has it been?"

"A thousand years, and then some?" I chuckled, feeding off of his gentle laughter.

"Wow. Wow, you just, you really lose track of the time, huh? Or would it be more appropriate to say 'lifetimes'?"

This was awesome. Oh, it was such a breath of fresh air. Not having to explain the process of lifetimes, not having to be the messenger of all news from above, it was such a relief. Finally, to be able to talk to someone who just  _gets_  it. Yeah, it was pretty great.

"So, please," Armin said, gesturing his hand for both Levi and me to follow him, "allow me to take you somewhere more private."

By his lead, we were guided back up the hallway that Levi and I had all but raced down to get to Erwin's classroom in time. This pace, however, was much more controlled. It was comfortable, even. It felt as right as right could be, when you had a college professor, a hair and make-up stylist, and a guardian angel all walking together.

"You know, I'm surprised you're not asking about his wings." Coasting his elbow along the stairwell railing, Levi proceeded to say, "They're usually the first thing people notice; that is, if those people can see him."

Armin pressed a finger to the bridge of his glasses, pushing them up his nose and straightening out the frames. "Oh, well, I was mostly waiting until we found a better place to discuss these things," he smiled, "but I guess it wouldn't hurt to mention that they're mighty magnificent, Eren. Angel wings, I presume? You'll have to explain that one to me."

And that I didn't mind. I didn't mind it, because Armin actually seemed  _genuinely_  interested in what I would have to tell him, unlike Mikasa who just seemed...distant.

"Of course!" I responded. "It'll be just like old times, huh? Actually, it'll be kind of like the reverse of old times, though, because you usually did all of the explaining and we did all of the listening, but I think you get the point."

Again, another small laugh left Armin's lips. "Yeah," he agreed. "Just like old times."

Once we were seated in an uninhabited teacher lounge, I did my very best to get comfy like both Levi and Armin, but my wings refused to cooperate. Shifting and shimmying against the squishy sofa chair, the moment I'd found the perfect position for my wings to have enough room, every other part of my body felt strained. It was your average win-lose situation.

"How about I try and find a stool for you, Eren?" Armin suggested. "I think they still have some in the old art room. Let me go check real quick."

I thanked him, as he walked out of the lounge. Not surprisingly, when Levi and I were alone, he began asking me some questions.

"Who is that, Eren?" was his first question, one that I happily obliged.

"His name is Armin Arlert," I began, "and he was one of my best...okay, well, he was my  _only_  best friend."

"Which lifetime?"

This was where things would get a little awkward. After all, Armin obviously knew who Levi was, but the acquaintanceship was not shared. To explain that Armin had been a part of my first lifetime, wouldn't Levi be able to piece together the possibility of him having known Armin as well?

"My first," I answered, and luckily, I was safe for the time being. Armin had just walked back into the lounge with a paint-stained stool in hand.

"Here you go, Eren," he said, with a smile. "It's probably not as comfortable as these sofas, but it'll be more suitable for your, er, shape."

Armin set the stool down beside me. Graciously, I thanked him again and perched myself up onto the hard wood of the seat. It took some getting used to, but it wasn't so bad. It was definitely better than having my wings squashed against the back of a sofa.

When Armin had taken his seat across from Levi, directly diagonal from me, he folded his arms over his lap and crossed his legs. I couldn't deny it; he was  _such_ a teacher. "So, Eren," he spoke, catching my attention, "I'm not entirely sure what I should ask, or which question would be most appropriate to ask first, so how about you just give me a brief summary of this whole thing with your wings and stuff."

I snickered at his use of the word "appropriate". Yup. Definitely a teacher.

"I guess I should start from the very beginning, then," I said. It couldn't hurt to tell my entire story, could it? After all, even Levi still didn't know everything, either.

"Well, it all started on the morning of November 1st. That day was just a bad day all around. I woke up tired, couldn't get my stupid alarm clock to shut off, and I got stopped on the way to school by-oh." Armin would know who I was talking about. "I got stopped by Mina."

"Mina Carolina?" Armin questioned, completely enthralled by such an interesting part in my story.

I nodded. "Yup. The one and only. She...didn't recall our past lifetime together, though. If she did, she probably wouldn't have had such a big crush on me."

Again, I was interrupted by Armin's amiable laughter, followed by him saying, "You've got to be kidding, right? There's no way she had a crush on  _you_."

"Hey! I take that with offense! I mean, I'm a pretty good guy. Right, Levi?" I hadn't meant to turn the conversation on him, but it didn't feel right just leaving him out of everything. Especially since he probably wouldn't understand most of what we were saying.

"Huh?" He sounded disinterested. "Oh, yeah. I guess." Correction. He sounded  _very_  disinterested.

Obviously, that didn't sit well with me. Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said?

"So, what happened next, Eren?" Armin prompted. He was probably trying to ease some of the awkward tension that was beginning to loom about the room.

"Oh, right. Okay." In order to prepare myself for the the continuation of my story, I inhaled deeply. This would be the difficult part to explain. Thinking, let alone talking about my death wasn't exactly something that I was excited about doing. However, it was an important piece of my puzzle and it needed to be shared.

"So, as Mina and I were walking to school, she asked me if I liked her. Like, romantically, you know? I didn't know what to say... I mean, I knew that I didn't like her in that way, but she was a year younger than me and I really didn't want to hurt her feelings. Still, she got really upset with me and stormed off.

What happened next, it's kind of a blur. I remember what happened, and I remember how it happened, but I'm still unsure of the length of time that it took me to actually...die."

Just saying that sent a shiver down my spine. The silence that followed wasn't the least bit welcome, either. It was uncomfortable and heavy. Suffocating. It was suffocating like the car exhaust that had taken over my lungs and made my brain go numb with lack of oxygen.

I didn't like this. Death was a part of the cycle of life, sure, I was well aware of that; and I'd died enough times for that to make itself blatantly apparent. But this memory, it was still too fresh. Unlike my other lifetimes, where I had to go through a period of infancy, the memories didn't come back gradually. Nope, they were all right there my head, which currently, was feeling a little light.

"Do you want to take a break?" Armin suggested, but I quickly declined.

"No, no, I'm alright. I just needed a moment to organize my thoughts, but I'm alright now."

I folded my arms against my lower chest, and with another sharp breath to settle myself, I was ready to continue. "It happened really fast. Like every other, normal school day, I proceeded to cross the street. I thought nothing of it, really, but looking back, I probably should have been more aware of my surroundings." I paused for literary effect. "It had been a cold morning, colder than average. Mixed with the rain we'd received in my area the prior evening, it practically wrote itself out as a recipe for disaster. If I would have listened to the weatherman, I probably would have known that. But I didn't listen, and I wasn't paying attention."

"...What happened, Eren?" Again, Armin was the one who had asked.

"A car skidded on a patch of black ice and spun out of control. It crashed right into me." There was no reaction. I carried on. "I remember hearing the driver's voice. He was frazzled and speaking so fast that it was hard to make out what he was trying to say, but I could tell that he was concerned for my well-being. It didn't matter, though. It was already too late."

Armin pushed up his glasses and sighed, while Levi remained absolutely still. They were relatively diverse reactions, not exactly what I had been expecting.

"So, uh," I mumbled sheepishly, "should I continue?"

"Yes, please do," Armin said, with a nod. "Sorry for not saying anything, but this is some pretty heavy stuff. How old were you?"

"Fifteen," I answered, "but it's not like it was something that was unforeseen. I pretty much only had one year left to live. One and a half, if I was lucky."

"Ah, don't remind me."

That was a peculiar thing to say. "Don't remind you? What do you mean, Armin?" I asked, craving a sense of clarification.

"The time watch," he said, running his fingers across the length of his brow bone. "That's what I call it, at least. How you can't live any longer than you survived in your first life?"

"Yeah, yeah! Wow, you gave that thing a name? That's actually pretty clever."

I could tell that Armin prided himself with my response. "Of course it's clever," he affirmed. "Would you ever expect anything less from me?"

"Never," I chuckled. He had a point. I couldn't recall a time when Armin had ever said anything that was less than genius. Still, he hadn't really answered my question to its full extent. "But what did you mean when you said, 'Ah, don't remind me'?"

Suddenly, Armin didn't seem so sure of what he had wanted to say anymore. He looked pensive, like he was calculating his response. Nothing within his head stopped him from saying, "I said that, because my lifetime could be coming to an end any time now."

...What? No, seriously _, what_? How could that be? Armin, he couldn't have been a day older than twenty-five. Well, actually, he could have been, considering that his birthday was on the 3rd of November, but that was beyond the point. Was he trying to tell me that he hadn't lived any longer than that, during the era of the Titans?

"Armin, you-?"

"Keeping details to a minimum," he interjected, "yes, I died around this time many, many years ago. Throughout my lifetimes, I've lived a multitude of different lengths, but never once have I lived any longer than my first. You already know that, though."

This couldn't really be happening. Armin was so young, so full of knowledge and wisdom. How had he died? And why? His mentality was invaluable to all. Without it, surely, humanity must have deeply regretted his loss.

As much as I wanted to learn, I knew that I had to hold my tongue. Albeit nearly silent the entire time, Levi was still present. These were the very sort of things that should not and could not be discussed around his untrained ears.

"I'm...sorry to hear that, Armin. Wow..."

With his constant smile, Armin murmured, "Don't sweat it, Eren. This is just how the life cycles work, you know? You live, you die, you get reincarnated."

"Or you can become an angel, like me," I added.

It was one of those "duh" moments, where Armin slapped his hand against his cheek, and said, "I'm so sorry, Eren! You've only finished half of your story. Please, continue."

Oh, yeah. This was the part that I would have no trouble telling. Plus, I had a feeling Armin would get a kick out of the other two persons that held starring roles in my road to becoming an angel.

"Well, after I had died, I expected to be reincarnated as a baby. Clearly, that wasn't the case this time. I was reborn into this new body, in a place that was neither Heaven nor Hell. Get a load of this, Armin. It was called 'Maria'." Armin definitely seemed intrigued by that, but he chose to stay speechless. "Anyways, after I hatched out of my egg - and yes, apparently angels hatch out of those - I got a lovely earful from the king of jerks himself."

"...I'm sorry?" Oh, come on, Armin. You were doing so well. Please don't tell me you've forgotten all about his royal majesty himself.

"Um, Jean?" I stated, glad to see that his eyes lit up with a new understanding almost instantly. "Oh, and Historia, too. She was really nice to me, though. Really helpful and informative about my new life."

"And Jean? What about him?"

"Ugh," I groaned. "Well, I mean, he  _did_  kind of teach me how to fly, but that's about it. Technically, he coaxed the act out of me from within, so it's not like he did anything  _that_  extraordinary."

Armin must have been truly amused by me, because it had to have been the umpteenth time that I'd made him laugh. "Oh, Eren," he breathed. "You really haven't changed, have you?"

I couldn't agree or disagree to that. "Well, for obvious reasons, I am different from how I used to be. I have a whole new sense of purpose now." I turned my gaze toward Levi, readily expressing the gratitude that I had for being able to be a part of his life once again. It was a bit disappointing to realize that he still remained an aloof part of the conversation.

"Oh? And what's that?"

Armin knew what I was hinting at, but he possessed a devious side, as well. He just wanted to hear me say it, probably because he was hoping to get a rouse out of me. But that wouldn't happen. I was proud of my title. I wasn't going to hide it behind a pair of stuttering lips and bashfully blushing cheeks.

"Protecting Levi," I spoke, the air surrounding us serving as a mode for carrying my sturdy voice. "His life is my most important priority, and I will guard and protect him no matter what."

Rising to his feet, Armin had attracted both Levi's and my attention. He flexed his fingers and flicked his wrist, taking a quick peek at his watch. "This is quite unfortunate," he sighed solemnly. "My students have been alone for nearly twenty minutes now. I can only imagine what kind of world war they're starting back up there."

"Are college students really that misbehaved?" I wondered. To me, it sounded as if he was describing middle school behavior.

"Oh, they can be," Armin chuckled. "Trust me."

And I did. Of course I trusted him. I trusted his judgement over my own all those handfuls of hundreds of years ago. Why would my trust be altered now?

"Does this mean you have to leave?" I asked, my wings unintentionally slumping against my shoulders. It was sad;  _I_ was sad. When would I get to see him again?  _Would_  I even get to see him again? So many questions were swarming in my brain like buzzing bees, yet the tick-tocking of his wrist watch placed a limit on how much there was left to say.

"Sadly, yes. My students are waiting for me, and they probably have a some questions regarding the material I left them with to study."

"But wait!" I said quickly. "I still haven't learned very much about you and what your life has been like up until now. At least tell me about this lifetime of yours. Are you married? Why did you choose to become a professor? What about children?"

Armin held up a hand to calm to frantic questioning. "Whoa, whoa. One at a time, man." He ran that very same hand carefully through his golden hair. He must have forgotten that he wore it in a half ponytail today, because his fingers nearly got tangled up in it, when they coasted past his fringe. "You asked if I'm married?" I nodded. "That I am not. No children, either. As for becoming a professor, I really couldn't picture myself in a different occupation than this. Could you? You have to admit, it's my perfect fit." To boast a professional effect, he poked at the frame of his glasses.

I couldn't have agreed more, actually. Not only was Armin a professor, but he was a Geography professor. For him to be able to teach about all of the lands that we'd won over from the Titans, it just made sense, and I was incredibly proud of him.

When we'd passed the twenty-five minute mark, we gathered in the hall outside of the teacher lounge and began to say our farewells. Rather, Armin and I started to say goodbye, and Levi continued to remain painfully silent.

It was bittersweet, of course, because I felt like there was still so much left that needed to be said. Armin didn't know very much about my angel body, and the fact of that only left me feeling like our conversation was incomplete.

"When I woke up today, I couldn't, in my wildest of dreams, have expected this," Armin said. The smile that he wore showed me that saying goodbye was just as hard on him as it was for me. The whens and the woulds were probably running through his mind, just as they had been racing through mine. "But it was a pleasant occurrence, Eren, one that I most certainly will treasure. And by all means, feel free to stop by whenever you'd like. And of course, you're welcome to come, too, Levi."

It must have felt strange for Armin to be inviting a man of former authority, but he seemed to be relatively unfazed by it.

Without verbal response, Levi nodded his head and crossed his arms over his chest. Okay, something was definitely up. I'd have to talk with him later.

My heart swelled with a range of emotions that found a source of outlet through my fluttering wings. Goodbye felt so final, so I wouldn't say it. Instead, I chose to say, "I'll be sure to take you up on that offer, Armin. Hopefully we'll run into each other again really soon."

"I agree." A single nod. "I definitely agree."

Just as we were parting ways, Levi taking the lead by about twenty feet, Armin told me to hold up, something that both confused and excited me all at the same time.

"What is it, Armin?"

"You haven't changed, Eren," he said, repeating his statement from earlier and catching me completely off guard. Imagine that. A guardian angel being caught off guard. It's angel humor.

"What do you mean?"

Shaking his head, he corrected me by saying, "What I mean is, just the same as you did in the past, you still care so desperately about him."

Him. Armin need not even mention a name, because we were both on the same page. Not just the same page, we were on the same paragraph, the same sentence. We were on the same word, the same letter, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

"I do," I smiled, speaking the truest of words from lips that couldn't have been prouder to say them. "From then, until now, and forever in between, I will always love him."

 

* * *

 

Levi's quietness didn't particularly bother me, as we walked back to the apartment in order for him to get dressed for work. I didn't really irk me, as I watched him perform at his job. When it did concern me, was when were walking back to the apartment from the hair salon and I couldn't properly hold his gaze for more than a millisecond.

"Levi," I said, lowering my flying altitude. I wanted him to be able to hear me, but more than that, I wanted him to be able to  _talk_ to me.

Levi fished around in his satchel bag for his cell phone. Retrieving it after some digging around, he brought the archaic thing up to his ear, and asked, "What is it?"

"You've barely said anything, since the moment we met Armin. Why are you-?"

"You mean when  _I_  met Armin," he interrupted.

"...Huh?" I'm pretty sure I had been present. Why was he excluding me from something like this?

" _You_  already knew each other," Levi countered, "so it was hardly a meet and greet. I was the one who was left in the dark over everything."

My worries had been solidified with that very statement. The entire time Armin and I were conversing, Levi had felt out of place.

And it was entirely my fault.

"Levi, I didn't-" I tried, desperate to defend myself, but again, it was merely a lost cause.

"No, you didn't," Levi cut in, his tone a telltale sign that he was irritated. "You didn't mean anything. You and Armin, you were reconnecting, and that's just fine and dandy. Really, it is."

"Why do you sound so upset, then?" I was sure I had gone unheard, what with the way I hadn't spoken in a voice that was above a whisper, but all in all, Levi still responded.

"Because I'm  _frustrated_!"

Whoa. That was unexpected. Levi had just...yelled.

So stunned by the situation, my wings went into shock. Just as I was about to collapse catastrophically to the ground below, I had finally been able to stick one of the most controlled landings of my entire flying career. Under different circumstances, I would have been proud of myself. Currently, I was in no mood to feel like celebrating.

Closing his eyes, Levi pressed a set of fingers to his creasing brow and sighed. "Eren, I'm sorry. That...that came out wrong. I mean, I am frustrated, but I shouldn't have yelled like that."

I had to be honest, I was a little scared. I was fearful of the fact that my next question may or may not have set Levi off again. Timing myself accordingly, I cautiously asked, "...Can you tell me why you're frustrated, Levi?"

It took him a minute to fully compose himself, but once he did, Levi awarded me with his answer. "All I could think about during your conversation with Armin was, 'Wow, I want to be able to talk with Eren like that.' I was legitimately  _envious_  of him."

I tried to make further sense of what he was saying, by asking, "What do you mean, Levi? Of course you and I can talk like that. We can talk for however long you'd like to and I wouldn't mind it!"

"But it's not the  _same_ , Eren. It won't ever be the same, and it's all because I can't remember a freaking thing." This was a new development that I hadn't been anticipating, but I allowed him to continue. "You and Armin, you can understand each other. Hange, too. If I wasn't present, you probably would have gone on and on about your past life together, but because of me, you were forced to filter yourselves. As much that annoyed me, I was still so envious, because that's what I  _want_. I want to be able to talk freely with you about the memories we used to share, the ones that you have to carry all by yourself. Because of all of this, I want to be able to connect with you on a deeper level, Eren, and it's not fair that I can't."

That was the final straw. I couldn't let him speak like that anymore.

As cliche as it sounds, time stood still. My body possessed a mind of its own, and my arms were controlled by a different agenda. Blanketing Levi in my warmth, I wrapped my arms around the backs of his shoulders, shielding him from the outside world through the guarded protection of my tented wings.

"Eren-"

"But you can, Levi." It was  _my_  turn to interrupt him. "Everything you just said, all of those things can happen. We  _can_  connect deeper, and we  _can_  speak freely. The past is...the past is the past. You can't recreate it, nor can you change it."

Levi was unmoving, and that was just the way I liked it. I wanted to hold him, and from his slouching posture, I'm pretty sure he didn't mind it all that much.

Time began to run its course again, when he softly whispered, "What should we do, then?"

I was no expert, but I had been able to think of a clever enough idea. "What should we do?" I repeated calmly, wanting to make sure that I had heard him correctly. "Well, for right now, I think we should live in the present. Let's go back to the apartment, yeah? You can take a shower and relax, and then we can start "bonding". It's just like you wanted, right?" I knew I was stretching my luck by acting playfully with him, but he seemed to receive my humor well.

"Oh, stop it," he scoffed, and brushed me off of his shoulders. "You're such a romantic dork."

"I'm an angel!" I laughed. It seemed to be my only case of defense. "Doesn't romance kind of come along with the whole, celestial package?"

There was no doubt about it. Levi was rolling his eyes at me. "Whatever. Let's just get back already."

When we finally returned to the apartment, our dramatic detour long put behind us, Levi decided to turn on the television. He must have switched it onto a news station, because the words "BREAKING NEWS" came flashing onto the screen in obnoxiously bright red letters.

"...Whoa."

I had been shaking out my wings, trying to stretch them for the final time that evening, so I wasn't able to pay as much attention as Levi was to what was happening on the screen. "What is it?" I wondered, trying to take a peek over the mound of my fluffy feathers.

Without a word, Levi turned up the volume, allowing me to hear for myself what was going on in the world.

"At 6:47PM this evening, a college professor was struck and shot down by an armed thug, who was attempting to steal from a middle-aged woman on her commute home from work. When the professor intervened, the thug pulled the trigger, shooting him straight through the heart. He died before an ambulance was called to scene. He was only twenty-five-years old."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Well...I should probably start this note off with an apology. I'm sorry for your loss, everyone.
> 
> Other than this "unexpected occurrence" (haha, see what I did there?), I hope you enjoyed the chapter! It was my longest one yet!
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> \-- Chappy


	12. Sweatshirt Shirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's both a sweatshirt and a shirt.

Shakespeare must have been onto something, when he called all of the world a stage, all of the people merely actors upon it. I wasn't even alive through technical means, and yet, I was still being affected by the hurt that humans felt. Would I ever experience relief from such a feeling?

I didn't have to look at the television screen to know whose picture was being displayed. He was blond, he had gentle blue eyes behind a pair of glasses, and formerly, he wanted nothing more than to see the ocean with me. It was a wish that could have been granted, had we more time. Be we didn't. Time had never been on our side, and somewhere higher up, the stage director must have been marveling over our tragedy.

I almost didn't hear Levi's voice, when he had called out to me. Everything but my turbulent thoughts had faded into in white background noise, ringing against my eardrums and distorting my focus.

"Eren," he said again, which must have been for the fourth time now.

"...Yeah." I hadn't asked it, and I hadn't responded to him through any form of question. I just stated it.

There was a shift in my perception of sound, suggesting that Levi had either turned off the television, or he had used the remote to switch it to its muted setting. I couldn't determine which it was, because I wasn't looking his way. Speaking of which, where  _was_  I looking?

Dipping low to catch a glimpse of my face, Levi's course of action caused me to realize that, oh, I must have been looking at the floor. If he hadn't given it away, the sight of my toes surely would have. "Eren," he repeated, five times now, "are you going to be okay?"

Okay. It was a word that wasn't given enough credit, in my opinion. It was that medium, in between state of neither happiness nor sadness that could just barely be defined as neutral. Was I going to be okay? Of course I was. Physically? I was completely intact. Emotionally? Shaken, yes, but I would adapt. That's what life was all about, right? Being okay and adapting to your surroundings.

With a silent nod, I straightened my posture and alleviated some of the stress on my shoulders, by lowering the arch of my wings.

My nonverbal response must have been less than believable, because again, Levi was asking, "Eren, are you  _sure_  you're going to be okay? You look a little..."

I looked a little, what? Did my face show how my stomach was twisted in knots? Were my eyes lined with tears? Did my lip quiver with each breath I took?

"Eren, you look kind of...freaky."

What? As if I was inhaling all life itself, all of my senses came rushing back to me. My vision was no longer clouded, and my hearing was on the top of its game. With nothing left to deflect my reception of conversation, I connected my gaze with Levi's, and asked, "What do you mean?"

There were two reasons why people hesitated before they spoke: either they'd forgotten what they were going to say, or what they were about to say was considered offensive. For Levi, I could only imagine that it was the latter. "You, uh...your eyes were changing into like, this golden color, and your skin was turning red."

"...Really?" I breathed. It was hard for me to believe that such a thing had happened, especially a change in my eye color, but if Levi was saying it, it had to be true. I further added, "That's so weird."

"Was it another 'angel thing'?" Levi wondered. "I know you use that phrase a lot to describe your inhuman reactions."

He had a good point, but honestly, I wasn't even sure. "You know," I began, leveling out my response, "I'm really not certain. I haven't even been an angel long enough to experience that sort of reaction before. Maybe it was just my body's way of handling a large influx of emotions."

Levi fell silent, upon my reply. He couldn't understand the death of a friend. Or maybe he could, I didn't know. What I did know was that he was respecting my loss, and that spoke to me in larger volumes than any words ever could.

I captured his attention, when I continued to say, "When he said he didn't have much time left, I didn't think that he meant he only had a few hours left to live. Honestly, I don't even think  _he_ thought that, either."

"Life happens fast," Levi muttered, as he rubbed his hands along his upper arms. "Sometimes, death happens faster. Don't people always say that we just have to be grateful for the time we have to live? You know what? Forget that. It was so corny that it left a bad taste in my mouth."

Laughter was something that I'd ruled out for a while, but Levi's ending comment had served a purpose in cheering me up, if only a fraction of a fraction. I smiled secretly, and shaking my head, I responded, "You don't have to worry about sounding corny around me. And what you just said, it actually held some truth to it. People need to be grateful for the lives that they live. Sometimes it'll suck, like, sometimes it'll really, really suck. But you're a lucky guy, Levi." Now that a lighter atmosphere was beginning to break through, I dared to put on a semi-playful front. Nudging Levi's shoulder with one of my wings, I murmured, "You're lucky, because you have me to make your life as safe as possible."

Levi must have been feeding off of my playful aura, because he suggested, "As safe as falling into a pit of marshmallows?"

I shook my head. "Safer."

"What if I'm wearing a suit made entirely of bubble wrap, when I jump into that pit?"

" _Safer_ ," I insisted.

"Huh." It was a noise of acknowledgement. "How much safer can I get, Eren?"

My wings answered before I could, spreading open and wide, asserting my absolute solemnity. Never, never would I let what happened to Armin happen Levi.  _My_ Levi. "I swear it," I proudly stated, "I would take a million, no, a  _billion_  bullets to my chest, before I'd let anything bad happen to you."

Levi seemed a bit shocked at first, and I didn't blame him. My unconditional dedication to him was a lot to take in. However, as the seconds passed by, he began to accept my statement more and more. With a single breath of a chuckle, he even went as far as to whisper, "That's pretty safe."

It was when I was sitting in Levi's bedroom, waiting for him to get changed, that reality began to strike. Of all of the chance encounters in the world, why did Armin have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Because of him and because of his heroic deed, a woman still had her life, still had her freedom, and most importantly, still had her purse.

Fingers flitted in front of my face, casting me away from my thoughts. I must have been zoning out. "Your eyes were doing the weird thing again." Yup. I had definitely been zoning out.

Running my hands through my hair, I sighed and apologized for my strange behavior. It was quite peculiar how my emotions, namely my anguish, could be projected through my irises. As much as this new discovery was fascinating, it was also a bit disheartening. Levi was obviously uneasy about the change, which made me feel uneasy in return.

"I have an idea," Levi declared.

"Oh?" Quickly drawn to the idea of an idea, I looked to Levi from across the way, and asked him, "What's your idea?"

"Let's find some clothes that will look better on you than those silly pajamas," he scoffed. "Seriously, you look like a goof. Plus, who knows who else we'll run into that you'll have known from a past lifetime. You gotta look nice, right? And seriously, is this sort of thing even common? I feel like it's been happening way too much for it to be considered normal."

He had another good point. Remembering what Jean and Historia had said, this sort of thing shouldn't have been common at all. With all of the angels they had trained into becoming guardians, only two had reportedly come into contact with humans from their past. It made me wonder if they knew where I was stationed, how I was doing, and that I was happily protecting Levi.

"No, no," I agreed, "you're absolutely right. The two angels that taught me all that I know, they said that this shouldn't have even happened. Well, they didn't say that this directly shouldn't have happened, like, that you and me shouldn't have happened...um, what?" I'd gone and confused myself with my own words.

Levi snickered at my self-induced bewilderment, before saying, "No need to explain any further, Eren. I understand the gist of what you were trying to say."

Well, that was good. At least someone knew what I was trying to say, because I sure as heck didn't. However, we'd gotten completely off topic from his idea about a new set of clothes for me, and I was starting to wonder what he had in mind. Preferably, it would be something that I didn't have to wear backwards, though...

"So, what did you have in mind for me to wear?" I asked curiously.

With thin lips and a serious look in his eyes, Levi must have inspected me from top to bottom three times over. What was he trying to do, decipher my build? Anything that he had for me would inevitably have to be destroyed in some way, shape, or form to make room for my wings. "I think I have a few shirts we can work with," he finally said, walking off towards his closet.

A few shirts, by my definition, was, you know, a  _few_  shirts. Maybe three or four at most. By Levi's definition, a few shirts meant turning his entire bed into that one scene from  _The Great Gatsby_ , where Gatsby himself was throwing all of those shirts for Daisy to see. In this silly scenario, Levi was Gatsby and I was Daisy. I could honestly sympathize with her, though, because even if it was for an entirely different reason, I felt like crying, too.

"This is a lot more than a few shirts, Levi." I'd said it, when enough was enough and I was no longer sitting on a bed; I was sitting on a sea of sweaters and sweatshirts alike.

"None of those are intended for you to wear," he responded, and although that had been a relief to hear, it didn't extinguish my intrigue. "These are the shirts I was talking about."

Levi had plucked about five shirts from their closet hangers, before handing them over to me. From a distance, they all looked relatively the same, but it was when I got to see them up close that I was able to make out their distinct differences. Some had stripes, some were solid, but it was one shirt in particular that had caught my eye. The best way to describe it would have been to call it a sweatshirt  _shirt_. It was thin and had three-quarter sleeves like a shirt, but it also possessed tassels and a hood like a sweatshirt. Something about its shape and appearance must have attracted me to it, and it was then that I had realized why.

It heavily resembled the shirt that I wore in my first lifetime.

Pointing to the sweatshirt shirt, I said, "I like that one a lot."

From the way that Levi's nose wrinkled in disgust, I could tell that my first choice pick had been his last. "Really?" he questioned. "You want to wear this old thing? In my opinion, these other shirts look a lot better."

"Well, you're not the one who's going to be wearing it, now are you?" I spoke up. Since when had I become so defiant?

"True, very true, but I  _am_  the one who's going to have to cut a massive hole in it for your freakishly large wings. Because of that, the hood is gonna have to go."

I didn't mind that. If anything, I preferred it. It was just another step closer to making the sweatshirt shirt look more and more like the apparel from my past. It was even the same, sandy shade of beige and brown. Even though I didn't want to, I still offered, "If it's too much trouble, I can choose one of the other ones. I mean, that grey one is kind of nice, too."

Levi tossed the remaining shirts aside and sighed. "Nah, don't worry about it. If it's what you like, it's what you like. Hey, I'll be right back, okay? I need to grab some fabric scissors for this."

"I'll come with you." It was a statement, not a suggestion.

"Eren, you don't have to. It'll only take me two seconds." He was already walking toward the door of his bedroom. "If I promise not to run with them, will that put your mind at ease?"

Hearing that did make me feel slightly better, but my desire to join him was much stronger. "Levi, I don't-" Before I could finish my thought, he had already left the room.

I expelled a dramatic sigh, as I collapsed back onto Levi's bed. Why was he still so opposed to the little things? Was it really that bad of me to want to follow him around everywhere? Well, putting it that way, it did seem kind of annoying. Even so, I wasn't going to allow myself to worry about it too much.

As I laid there, waiting for Levi's return, something in the air began awakening my senses. What was that? It smelled so... _good_. Mindful of my wings, I turned onto my stomach and took in a few more sniffs.  _Oh_. Oh, my God, I'd found it.

I stuffed my face into the pile of shirts that rested along the bedsheets. Instantly, the skin of my cheek welcomed the softness of the materials, while my nose was more than ready to breathe in that wonderful scent over and over again. Although mildly masked by the synthetic smell of laundry detergent, there was enough of Levi's familiar fragrance to throw me into a fit of my memories. No longer was I on top of his bed; we were on top of mine. With my nose pressed against his shoulder, and his pressed against my neck, we simply enjoyed our right to breathe, allowing ourselves to get drunk off of each other's aroma.

Forgetting my place, I groaned and continued to roll around. I didn't just want to be near them; no, I wanted to be coated in Levi's concoction of smells. Just like back then. Just like right now...

"Levi, you smell so good..."

"Uh...thanks?"

Quicker than a flash, I was sitting upright and at attention. Well, that was embarrassing. How long had he been standing there? How much had he seen?

"So, uh," he spoke hesitantly, "what were you doing with my shirts over there?"

I was proud of myself for being able to keep my voice relatively steady, as I said, "Oh, you know, I was just saying goodbye to them. They're going to have to go back into your closet soon enough, right? It's gotta be kinda lonely in there." Regardless of anything that I'd said or how stupid I must have sounded, my wings did a pretty good job of giving away my paranoia. They began to flutter violently.

"Uh...?"

"Oh!" I interjected. "I see you found some scissors? Do you think they'll do the trick?" Smooth. I was super smooth.

I thanked my lucky stars, when Levi finally got the message and stopped pushing the topic. Adopting the new one, he said, "Yeah, I always like to have a pair of heavy duty scissors laying around. You never know when you're going to need to cut something really thick. Plus, they're really good for opening boxes and stuff like that, too." He extended his hand to me. "Can I see the sweatshirt?"

"Sweatshirt shirt," I clarified.

"Cute," he smirked. "Hand it over."

I tossed him the article of clothing, watching as he caught it with ease. Now that it was in his possession, he brought the sweatshirt shirt over to his bureau. There, he laid it flat and began folding back its sleeves. Curiosity got the better of me, and so I got up and made my way over to where he stood. If he was about to perform shirt surgery, I most definitely wanted to be a part of it.

"Do you think you'll be able to cut it off?" I wondered, eyeing the way he assessed the fabric.

"I think if I cut down the middle of the hood first, it'll make for a cleaner cut all around."

I wasn't about to argue with him. Levi was the scissor expert. I'd let him do his thing, I would. I just really wanted to watch.

With swift cuts starting at the top of the hood, heading all the way down to the center, I found myself sneaking a few peeks at Levi's expression. Just as he looked when he was cutting hair, he wore a visage of utmost concentration, as if one mistake would be an end all to his career. The more I looked, the more I realized that his current behavior was so similar to the way he used to be. Whether it was cutting up sweatshirt shirts, or cutting up Titans, staying focused seemed to be his top most priority.

After he began cutting around the curve of the hood, I noted the tension in his brow. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that he didn't have to make it look so perfect, but I figured it would have just been a waste of my words.

Finishing one of the sides, Levi instructed me to stay still. I did, of course, and waited patiently as he reached up and placed the half of the hood that he'd cut on the very top of my head.

"You're silly," I sighed.

"You're the one who  _looks_ silly," he pointed out.

Shaking my head free from the scrap of fabric, I had to smile again. It felt good sharing childish moments with Levi. Given that our chain of events had been less that favorable, I was pretty sure that it was things like this that were some of the only things keeping me sane.

It took Levi about ten minutes to cut the hood completely off. Once that was done, he asked me to turn around so that he could get a better look at the placement of my wings. "I want to make sure that I don't cut too far down," he explained. "I want the slit to end just beneath the base of your wings."

Measuring my back and my shoulders, Levi ran his fingertips down the small space of skin that separated my wings. The action in itself was enough to make me shudder.

"Sorry," he quickly apologized. "Are my hands cold?"

"Yeah, a little bit." It wasn't a total lie; his hands were kind of cold.

With my measurements in mind, Levi began to cut down the back of the sweatshirt shirt. His snips and snaps were very precise, so much so that when he brought the piece of cut clothing up to my wings for comparison, he needn't even make revision to the slit he had made. He got it right on the very first try.

"Alright," he said, unbuttoning the pajama shirt that I was still wearing. "Let's see if it fits."

I slipped the nightwear off of my arms and let it fall to the floor. I planned on picking it up later, but Levi already on it. Bare-chested and a bit chilly, I had to think of a way to get the sweatshirt shirt over my wings and onto my body without straining them too much.

"No, stop," Levi insisted. He grabbed my shoulder, just as I was about to pull the item of clothing over my head.

"What?" His abrupt reaction had startled me a bit.

"You're doing it wrong." Removing his hand from my shoulder, he took the sweatshirt shirt away from me and stepped in front of where I stood. "Here," he parted the neck area wide enough for a body to fit through, "step inside."

Now I just felt like an idiot. Um, duh? Of course that's what I should have done in the first place. What was I even thinking? There was no way that my wing span would have permitted me to do anything otherwise.

Complying with Levi's command, I rested my hands on his shoulders for extract support and lifted my left leg first. Fitting it inside of the gap, my right leg soon followed suit. Before I knew it, Levi was hauling the sweatshirt shirt up my thighs and onto my torso. He told me to slip my arms through the shorter than long sleeves, and once that was done, I could finally appreciate the feeling of being appropriately clothed. None of that angelic or nighttime stuff. I was staying contemporary.

"If you ever get tired of wearing that shirt-"

"Sweatshirt shirt," I corrected.

"Oh, my God. Okay, if you ever get tired of wearing that  _sweatshirt_  shirt, I can always cut up something else for you. Just let me know, alright?"

I nodded, but I had a feeling that I wouldn't be asking to wear anything else. This sweatshirt shirt, it was made for me. Well, no, it was made for humans, but that was beside the point.

After scouring the drawers of his operating station - his bureau - Levi handed me a fresh pair of boxers. The idea of wearing his underwear was...it was weird, but I wouldn't dare going commando while wearing what he handed me next: jeans.

"These are a little long on me, but I'm not sure if they're going to be long enough to fit you, so you'll have to try them on."

Time for the awkward part. Stripping myself of the pajamas bottoms, I slipped on Levi's boxers faster than I'd ever put on any other article of clothing before. With that bit of embarrassment gone and out of the way, I took my time in slipping into the pair of jeans. I had low expectations that they would fit me, but as I zipped them up and buttoned them around my hips, I was pleasantly surprised.

"How are they?" Levi asked. "Not too tight?"

"No," I replied. "In fact, they're perfect, wow."

"Well, well, well," he smirked, spinning me by the shoulder. "Take a look at yourself. I'd say that the award for the angel that's got the most fashion forward sense of style goes to no one else, no one else but you."

Staring into my reflection, I had to  _modestly_ admit that, yeah, I looked pretty damn good. "I thought you said that this sweatshirt shirt was old and ugly," I mentioned. Levi was just fooling with me, I remembered what he had said.

With a shrug, Levi seemed to have had a change of heart, as he said, "Well, that was on me. On you, though, it looks really nice, better than I could have ever made it look."

Beyond flattered, my wings rose at the compliment. "That's kind of you to say, Levi," I whispered, keeping my voice low incase he really hadn't said anything at all and I was just imagining it.

Oh, but he had, and with a simple nod, he, too, softly spoke, "Yeah, I know."

 

* * *

 

Working on twenty minutes past eleven, Levi had showered, discussed Armin's death with Erwin (to spare me of any more grief, they did their best to leave me out of the conversation), shared a freezer meal with Hange, and hung all of his shirts back up in his closet. Dressing himself in a baggy pair of sweatpants and a loose-fitting band shirt, Levi decided to grab himself a quick drink of water before heading off to bed. Of course, that was fine with me, however, the way in which he hesitated at the tap made me wonder if he had something a bit more serious than quenching his thirst on his mind.

"Levi?" I voiced gently, hoping not startle him.

"Oh, huh?" Oh, yeah. There was definitely something on his mind. I knew that distant response like it was common sense.

"Is everything okay?" I wondered, expanding on my concerns. "You seem a little out of it."

Levi turned on the faucet, and as it dripped, he neglected to place his cup beneath it. Not only that, but he'd completely disregarded my question. I prompted him again. "Uh, Levi?"

"Hm? Yeah?" Okay, enough was enough.

Turning off the faucet and meeting his gaze, I did my best to try and understand what was affecting him. I could only do that if he answered me, though. "Levi, what's up? I told you that you could tell me anything, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember, it's just..." Faltering from his thought, he sighed. I almost wasn't sure if he was going to continue, but I was grateful when he did. "This is going to sound stupid."

"Seriously?" I couldn't believe my ears. Folding my arms, I provoked him by saying, "Try me."

A mighty sigh came before Levi's answer, but when he finally spoke up and told me what was the matter, he muttered, "Somehow, I feel like some sort of karmic scale is balancing out the jealousy that I felt earlier."

"...Huh?" There had to have been a simpler way for him to rephrase that.

Levi sighed again, a sound that was starting to physically pain me. I just wanted him to spit it out, so that I could help him get through whatever it was that was bothering him. "It's just, I feel like my behavior earlier, how I had been so envious of Armin and so frustrated by my lack of memories, I'm starting to wonder if his death was-"

"Don't." Based on his context, I knew what he was going to say and I didn't want to hear it. Instead of letting him continue, I brought my voice down to a hush, and whispered, "Levi, none of this was your fault. No feeling, no emotion that you felt could have caused this. This was just one of those...freak accidents that happen every now and again. Trust me, I've had my own experiences. But really, I don't want you thinking this way, Levi, and not only that, but I don't want you to filter your feelings, either. Try to chase those superstitious fears out of your head, hmm? If you don't, I will."

"...Thanks," and he didn't need to say any more. I knew my words had stuck with him, and if that was good enough for him, it was good enough for me. I let him start again. He turned on the faucet again, filled his cup up with water, and took a few sips before he left it in the sink.

"What, you're not going to clean it?" I teased.

"Shut up," he scoffed, and pushed my shoulder. "I'm exhausted, okay? Let's just go to bed."

There was no way I could disagree to that. "Aye, aye, sir."

In Levi's bedroom, with the lights off and our bodies getting ready to welcome unconsciousness, Levi and I shared our goodnight wishes before he climbed under the covers and I pulled my wings around my fetal form. Instead of sleeping on the edge of the mattress like I had the nights prior, it was through Levi's suggestion that I was now situated at the head of the bed with him, and of course, I didn't mind it one bit.

As per usual, it took me longer to fall asleep than it did for Levi. In fact, I was so lost in my thoughts about Armin and his untimely, rather, his  _timely_  death that I could no longer think about sleeping. I had no idea if I'd ever be able to see him again, or what he would look like. For all I knew, he could have already been reborn in some foreign country as the opposite gender, just like Hange.

I didn't know how many hours had passed, but I noticed that Levi had been uncharacteristically silent. From what I could gather, he should have been fully enthralled into one of his dreams right now. Was he alright? I needed to check.

Opening my wings, peeking through the small gap that they formed, I secretly stole a glance. Levi was facing in the opposite direction, the back of his head being the only thing I saw. Something caused by my lack of sleep must have given me a courageous buzz, because I was reaching out my hand, moving it to rub against the fine hairs of his undercut. Oh, I remembered this. His hair still had that scratchy feeling to it, the same feeling that I'd always liked.

"Eren..."

Crap. Crap, crap, crap. Snapping my hand back, I immediately retreated into my tented wings, not daring to make a peep.

"Eren, mnph..."

It was a little later than normal, but another one? Was Levi having another one of his dreams? Whatever it was, like the first one, it sounded like he was having a nice one.

"Eren, no...don't...you're going to be okay..." Okay, nevermind. Was he dreaming about my death again? That was crazy. This was the second night in a row, now.

"Eren... Eren, don't-!" There was a gasp, a loud one. Knowing what that meant instantly, my body tightened and tensed.

For the first time that I could recall, Levi had actually been awoken by one of his dreams.

I heard him breathing heavily, but I didn't know what to do. Should I have pretended to be asleep? No, that wouldn't work, and especially not now that he was trying to get my attention.

"...Eren?" he murmured, sounding more than distressed.

My angel instincts won over my silence, and although I remained hidden within my wings, I returned his question with a response. "Yes? What is it, Levi?"

I heard him exhale deeply, and along with that, I heard the sound of his fingers feeding themselves through his hair. "I just, I feel like I just had a really bad dream."

"You did." Whoah, what? What was I doing?

The tone of Levi's voice told me that he was clearly taken aback by my reply. "Oh, you heard me? You know, I've been told that I sometimes talk in my sleep. Did you hear what I was saying? Could you make out what I was dreaming about?"

"I did...and I could." I must have been an idiot. Why was I doing this? I was supposed to be sworn to secrecy, wasn't I? But this, this was just answering questions, right? I wouldn't allow myself to go any farther than that.

"Hey, what was I dreaming about, then? It must have been a crazy nightmare, if it caused me to wake up like this."

"...You were dreaming about one of your past lives, Levi." No more. Please don't ask me anything else.

"Was I? Wow, that's so weird." He took some time to think about that, before asking the one thing, the  _only_  thing that I desperately hadn't wanted him to question. "Not like I expect you to know or anything, but could you tell which one it was?"

With a heavy heart, and an even heavier mind, I swallowed back all of the tension in my tongue and breathed. It took all of the strength I could muster to part my wings, and it hadn't been anything extravagant, either. With just a barely noticeable opening between my feathers, I lifted my head and rose my gaze to grace Levi's.

"Yeah, actually," I whispered. "It was ours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Ooh, a mighty fine cliffhanger this week. I hope you guys aren't too mad. 
> 
> This chapter ended up being longer than I expected it to be, but I'm not complaining about it, and I'm sure you guys won't be, either!
> 
> As always, thank you for taking the time to read, and I hope you've enjoyed!
> 
> \- Chappy
> 
> P.S. I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but I have a tumblr account! My url is kairixxxsora16, and I always post the updated chapter to it, as well as some small drabbles that I write from time to time. If you're interested, stop by and check it out!


	13. Focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promises are made, but focusing needs to be done.

"What?"

I knew Levi had heard me. The only reason he was asking me to repeat myself, to relay my message one more time, was because of the heavy burden such an event entailed. He had questions, I knew he did, but first and foremost, he wanted validation.

"Your dream, Levi," I spoke in a hush, keeping my voice lower than was even necessary. "You were dreaming of your past lifetime, the one that I had been a part of."

"How do you know that, Eren?" Did he distrust me? No, he was still seeking for solid proof. "How do you know that it was that lifetime in particular?"

Objective. I had to remain objective. I couldn't allow myself to slip up and break the promise that I made; not only the promise to Levi, but the promise that I made to myself. I could not and would not let him know about our past relationship...but who was I fooling? Levi wasn't stupid. I knew that, in time, he'd be able to figure it out on his own, if not already. And when that time did come, what would I do? Should I give him honesty or the alternative? There were only two answers to that: yes or no. This wasn't the time to be thinking about such things, though. I needed to focus.

"Levi, you said my name. You said it like, five times."

"But how does that answer my question?" Levi persisted. "I could have been saying your name for a multitude of reasons."

I shook my head slowly. "No, no, it was more than that. You were, rather, what you were saying, I remember those words. They've stuck with me through all of my lifetimes and beyond. They're like a burn that's long scarred over and I can't do anything to erase them. You just, you have to trust me, Levi. I wouldn't lie to you about something like this."

My expression must have been painted like a canvas with my desperation. I could practically  _feel_ the weight of my facial muscles, as they forced my lips to curve downward and into a frown. Had I done something to cause him such hesitance of my reliability? I was an angel, for goodness' sake! Wasn't I supposed to be the pinnacle of truth? The model of all things moral?

Grabbing my foot, nearly giving me a start in doing so, Levi propped himself up into a better, sturdier sitting position. What mostly caught my attention, however, was just how _close_  he'd decided to sit next to me. Much like when we had been standing by the kitchen sink, my left wing eagerly encompassed Levi's body, cradling him into my not-so-exclusive wing tent. "So, tell me," he sighed. "Tell me what I said. Quote me word for word, and if it makes you feel more comfortable, you can subtract the context."

Subtract the context, but leave the content. It would be tricky - in more ways than one - but I could do it. I  _had_  to do it.

Before granting Levi his request, I took a moment to settle my...nerves? Why had my heart started pounding so furiously? I couldn't explain it, but for whatever reason, the pulsations were racing through my veins, making my tendons twitch. I was in need of a breath, one that would fill my lungs and shoot a delicious blend of oxygen to my brain. With a greedy inhale, it was time for me to speak. There need not be any more delay.

"Okay, I'm going to repeat what you said to the best of my ability," I stated, sounding relatively certain of myself. After all, there was quite a difference between Levi's plea from the past (which was the version that I was haunted by) and his sleepy babble.

"Go ahead."

"Well, you started by saying my name. At first, I thought you were waking up, so I tried replying to you. You were unresponsive, so I knew that you must have been dreaming again."

Levi interrupted me, by saying, "Wait, 'again'? What do you mean by 'again'?"

Uh oh. As if my heart wasn't already beating fast enough, Levi's next interrogative got it pumping on a whole new level. "Um, well, you know," I stammered, sputtering out my normal case of nonsense. "You've kind of had a few of these dreams before."

"Kind of?" he quoted. "And just how many is a few?"

I knew the number off of the top of my head, but that didn't stop me from making a show of counting them on my fingers for him. "One, two...three?"

Levi seemed less than impressed, when he turned to me and concluded, "Eren, that's every night since you've been here with me. You're telling me that I've been having these dreams every night and you haven't said anything?"

"Um, yes?"

Levi's sigh had been heavier than expected, almost possessing a dramatic flare to it, and I couldn't blame him for feeling frustrated. It wasn't like I was intentionally keeping a secret from him. If he would have asked me the same question any earlier, I probably would have been just as hesitant as I was now, but that wouldn't have hindered me from answering him honestly.

"Look, Levi, I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I whispered. "It's just, I didn't think it was something that you needed to know. You don't remember anything from that lifetime anyway, so I figured that informing you of your dreams would have been kind of pointless."

"Then,  _tell_ me, Eren."

Well, that was a confusing way of phrasing it. "I just did, though. I told you that you've been having-"

His hand, the very same hand that he'd placed on my foot to help ease himself out of his awkward half-laying, half-sitting position, reached for my kneecap. He wanted me to stop talking, I understood that much.

"That's not what I meant," Levi clarified, giving my knee a gentle push. "What I'm saying is, I want you to tell me about my past life. The one that you and I were a part of. What was it like?"

Oh.  _Oh_. Well, this would be interesting. And I couldn't deny him, right? My terms and conditions were that I wouldn't let him know what our life had been like romantically, until he remembered it for himself. That didn't apply to what our actual, "normal" life had been like, right? At least, I didn't think it did. Plus, he'd definitely be in for a treat with what I had to tell him, that was for sure.

"Are you positive you want to know, Levi?" I questioned. It was a part of my nature to make sure that he was one-hundred percent devoted to what I was going to say. The last thing I wanted was for something so important to me to become a waste of time for him. "I mean, we can talk about this tomorrow, or the next day-"

"Nope." Wow, Levi was on a roll tonight. It was just interruptions left and right with him. "I want you to tell me. Also, don't use my sleep deprivation as an excuse. I'm not even tired anymore, so this is the perfect opportunity for you to get everything out." Well, mostly everything. Mostly.

I nodded, because how could I argue with that? If Levi wasn't tired, I couldn't forcefully put him to sleep. I was his angel, not his mother, and although the protective side of me was stating otherwise, I said, "Alright, I won't make excuses. However, before I start, I need you to promise me one thing."

Levi tilted his head at me. Was my request really that odd? I hadn't thought so, but maybe I was wrong. "Yeah, sure," he said in agreement. "What do I have to promise?"

"Promise me that you'll believe everything I'm about to tell you."

 

* * *

 

Discussing the scenery, the atmosphere, and the three walls - Maria, Rose, and Sina - had been the easy part, but there was one question, and I knew it was coming, that Levi wouldn't dare to leave unasked. It just wasn't like him.

"So, you've talked about these walls quite a bit, but why were they there?" He was on the verge of saying it. It was on the tip of his tongue. "Why couldn't the people ever go outside of them?"

And there it was.

"This is where your promise is going to come into play, Levi," I said, wondering if he'd be able to catch my drift before he had the chance to think about it too much. Inhaling a breath so deep that it caused my feathers to fluff, it was through my exhale that I asked, "Have you ever heard of the mythological creatures called 'Titans'?"

"Weren't they those giant monsters that resembled humans and supposedly ate people for no reason at all? Yeah, I've heard of them, but what do they have to do with any of this?"

"They kind of have  _everything_  to do with this," I admitted.

"I'm sorry?"

Just remembering such a life made me sick to my stomach, but if it was for the sake of satisfying Levi's curiosity, I'd have to bite the bullet and spit it out. "Titans were not only the reason why we built the walls," I spoke softly, "but were also the reason why we had to live within them like prisoners."

"No."

Okay, so, apparently he wasn't buying it. I'd just have to be persistent, that was all. "Levi, I'm telling you the truth. You promised you'd believe me, remember?"

"No, there's no way. I need proof."

Proof? He wanted  _proof_? How was that even possible? Was I not proof enough of the Titans' existence? Little did he know that I used to actually possess the ability to  _become_  one. He really didn't need to know that small tidbit of information, though. And with that in mind, it was time to get cryptically crafty. "Levi, I  _died_  because of a Titan. My first lifetime ended, because of those horrible, disgusting, vile, demented-"

"Okay, okay." What was that, like, the fourth time now? Holding his hands up as if he were trying to calm the storm of my raging adjectives, Levi shook his head at me, before saying, "I believe you, I honestly do. Just try to calm down. Your eyes were..."

Really? Had they been changing color again? "My eyes were...?"

"They were getting that golden glow to them again. It's really...disturbing."

Ouch. That kind of stung. I knew Levi was probably only saying that, because the idea of an angel feeling any sort of intense, negative emotion was a bit bizarre, but this was something about me, and even if he was referring to just my eyes, I felt like he was calling me personally disturbing. It almost hurt.

Breathing proved to be my saving grace, because with a few ins and outs, I was back to normal. "Alright, sorry about that," I apologized. "But anyways, the point that stands is that Titans were real,  _very_  real."

"How real?" Levi tested.

"Very."

I watched him shift his position again, this time opting to sit like me. Hugging his thighs to his chest and folding his arms over his knees, he chose not to look at me, when he said, "So, what did they look like? Were they really big, you know, like the legends say?"

"Yes, they were big," I nodded, "but they varied in height. Some of the smallest Titans were three meters tall, while some of the tallest could have been anywhere from thirteen to fifteen meters."

"Meters?"

"Yeah, fifteen meters."

"No, like, what is that in terms of feet? I know I'm from Toronto, but I'm not very familiar with the metric system."

"Oh, um..." I had to calculate that for a moment. One meter was a little bit more than three feet, so with that in mind, I deduced, "Well, the three-meter ones were pretty close to being around nine and a half feet tall, while the fifteen-meter ones were...about forty-nine feet?"

"Holy crap," Levi whispered breathlessly. I could tell that he must have been having a great deal of trouble trying to process everything that I was telling him, but I had to give him credit for following along. His active questioning showed me that he was truly interested, which I'd never really doubted to begin with. It was both grand and grueling. "That's really big."

"It is," I paused. "It was."

Knowing that we could have gone on for hours and hours with the back and forth, the give and take of questions and answers, I suggested, "If you're up for it, I have an idea. It might make telling you about all of this a little bit easier for not just you, but for me, too."

Always up for anything, Levi said, "Sure, go for it. What's your idea?"

"How about I give you a brief summary of a few of the major events that happened back then? It seems to be one of the only things I'm good for around here, huh?" I'd been able to entice a soft chuckle from Levi with that. He couldn't deny that I was right, though. Not only Mikasa and Armin, but he, too, had now fallen subject to my summaries.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Levi yawned. He ended up leaning back just enough, allowing for my wing to catch him.

Circling his shoulders and holding him upright, I asked, "Are you getting tired, Levi? Should I save it for tomorrow?"

"No, no," he argued, whilst snuggling into my feathers, "I'm fine. But God, I can't get over how soft these things are."

I smiled sweetly. Just as much as I'm sure Levi enjoyed getting comfy and cozy into my left wing, I enjoyed the feeling of him situating himself and shuffling around in my feathers. "Try not to fall asleep, okay?"

He seemed adequately adamant in his answer, when he said, "I'm not going to, I promise."

And with that, it was time to get on with the tale. Should I have spoken to him like I was reading a storybook? Was this like a story time? No, that would have been weird. Just talking. Yeah, that was the way to go.

"I guess I should start with saying that the year had been 845," I began. "Mankind had been living a relatively peaceful life, but it was only on the surface. There weren't wars like we know them today, but there wasn't a complete sense of unity, either. Where there's humans, there will be prejudices, right?

Now, before I delve too deeply into any other aspects, let me talk to you about the three branches of what can presently be described as an army. First and foremost, there was the Garrison. These recruits maintained the structure of the walls and the weaponry that mounted them. Secondly, there was the Military Police. The guards of this affiliation were stationed in Wall Sina, the most prestigious wall of the three, and were in charge of protecting the king. Only the best of the best got to snag this opportunity, and it was considered to be the safest of the three branches. From the safest to the most dangerous, lastly, there was the Scouting Legion. These were the soldiers that ventured outside of the walls in order to not only fight, but to learn and discover new findings on the Titans. It was the most admirable line of duty, but until more recent years, it was generally looked down upon.

Reportedly, the last Titan breech had been over one hundred years prior to 845. I bet you can only imagine what the public eye thought of soldiers and guards alike. A waste of tax dollars? Oh, yeah. There was nothing they needed to be protected from, so why waste money on their food? There was no way that the Titans would have been able to break through the walls again...or so they thought."

I paused for a minute to make sure that Levi hadn't fallen asleep on me, and was immediately greeted with his famous look of dissatisfaction.

"Why did you stop?" he wondered, a tone that was dancing along the lines of a complaint. "Things were just starting to get good."

Good. That wasn't the word I would have used to describe any of it, but I couldn't hold him accountable for doing so. To Levi, who couldn't remember living through such a torturous lifestyle, hearing about these things must have reminded him of some sort of supernatural, sci-fi-esque drama series. At the very least, his comment had given me a small boost of confidence in my storytelling skills.

"I wanted to see if you'd fallen asleep, sorry. Allow me to continue."

I described the fall to him. I told him of the sudden strike of lightening, the fifty-meter, Colossal Titan, and the giant hole that it had kicked straight through the gate of the Shiganshina district. Furthermore, I mentioned the Armored Titan, how the canons did nothing to stop it in its tracks, and how it had smashed its entire body through one of the gates of Wall Maria, starting an apocalyptic chain of events.

"Twenty percent of the human population was wiped out in that one instance, serving as a grim reminder that we were at mercy of the Titans. After that, food resources became scarce, over-population became an issue, and tensions were at an all-time high. Life as we'd known it had drastically changed."

"Was that the only occurrence?" Levi questioned, understanding that my background story had nearly reached its climax. "Was that the only other time that the walls had been breeched?"

I bit my lip. Why did a memory that had been aged by over a thousand years still feel so fresh? "No," I ultimately answered, albeit quietly, "it wasn't. Five years later, it happened again."

"Oh, God." Visibly discomforted, Levi hissed, "Did everyone die again?"

"Actually, it was just the opposite. The district that had been breeched was called Trost, and it served the same, decoy-type of purpose like Shiganshina had. All citizens had been evacuated in a timely manner, and with the Scouting Legion away on an expedition, a very skilled group of training teams took on the challenge at hand and were able to eventually block the hole that had been formed in the wall. It was humanity's first victory against the Titans, but there had been so many casualties amongst the soldiers that there was no room for celebration."

I was hopeful that Levi wouldn't ask me  _how_  the hole had been sealed. After all, I had been greatly generous with my details. There was no need to get  _overly_  descriptive. Besides, I could tell that he was starting to fade. The excitement of our conversation was dying down, and his eyelids were beginning to waver. What time was it, anyway? It must have been anywhere from 3AM to 4AM.

Bouncing his weight with my wing, I did my best to hold his attention, when I'd asked, "How are you holding up, Levi? Do you want to go to sleep now?"

"Mmn," he murmured. It had been a muffled sound, caused by his body turning inward towards mine. "Yeah, maybe. I do have one more question, though."

"Oh, yeah?" I responded. "And what's that, Levi?"

With his glossy grey eyes meeting my own, Levi had asked me something that was just as entertaining as it was disheartening. "What was I like, Eren? Back then, I mean. Was I kind of like how I am right now?"

Would I be describing the soldier, or would I be describing my lover? It was a balance that I'd have to mind carefully. I'd already done such a good job at remaining unbiased, I'd just have to keep going through with it. "Speaking in terms of your personality, I'd say that you're pretty much the same as you were back then. Though, this had been during a time of entirely different circumstances. And after all, you held a role of heavy responsibility, so, if you subtract that, then-"

"Wait, what?" Levi butted in. By this time around, I had gotten used to it. "'A role of heavy responsibility'? What are you talking about?"

"Well, you see, you were kind of like, the strongest soldier that mankind had ever known? 'Humanity's strongest', that's what everyone called you." Oh, he'd surely get a kick out of that.

"Get out." Levi smacked my shoulder playfully, when he said that. "I was a badass?"

"Probably the baddest of them all," I smiled. "You know, Petra told me - and by the way, Petra had been a member of your squad - but she told me that you used to be a thug at one point, too. That was before you were asked to join the Scouting Legion by Commander Erwin-" Oops.

"...Commander Erwin?" I'd really done it now, hadn't I? "As in,  _Erwin_? My  _friend_?"

"Uh...yeah?" Like an angel in song, my voice must have raised a couple of octaves.

"No, that's crazy." While speaking, Levi had raised a hand to his mouth, suppressing his words as if they were a horrible secret. "Erwin was a Commander?"

I really hadn't wanted to dig into any one else's past lives except for Levi's, but as long as we were on the subject, I replied, "Yes, he was. He was the thirteenth Commander of the Scouting Legion."

"Well, that obviously explains a lot. What about Hange?" Levi inquired.

"What  _about_ Hange?" I wondered. That was far too broad of a question, by my standards.

"I know you two know each other, but was he from the same lifetime, too, or was he from another one that you remember?"

"He...she was from the same lifetime, yes."

Levi arched a bow at me curiously. " _She_?"

Scratching the back of my head, I realized that there was really no beating around the bush with this one. "You see," I began slowly, "back then, Hange was, his name was 'Hanji', and biologically, he had been a woman. But, you know, Hanji was very invaluable to the Scouting Legion. She was a squad leader, but not only that, she was responsible for mostly all of the experiments that took place on the Titans to help humanity understand their composition. It was with the hopes that we'd be able to figure out how they were created and what was their purpose."

"That's...wow. And Hange remembers all of this? He remembers all about the Titans and the Scouting Legion and the walls? He remembers everything?"

From Levi's tone alone, I was able to sense that he was starting to breed an air of envy again. I didn't want that, I  _really_  didn't want that, so in an attempt to put him at ease, I replied, "He and I haven't been able to talk very much, so I'm not sure if he remembers everything or not. I can ask..." I hesitated, suddenly disregarding what I was about to say and picking up onto something else. "Levi?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you make me another promise?" I wasn't sure if I was asking too much of him, but as long as he accepted, I wouldn't feel too guilty about it.

"I can try," Levi sighed, kickstarting my heart by resting his head on my shoulder. He must have been exceptionally tired, to have done that. "What do I have to promise?"

I used Levi's gradual consummation by fatigue as my excuse to get daring. With fingers that were as soft as the feathers he was resting on, I brushed a few stray locks of Levi's fringe out of his drooping eyes and behind his ear. He was so precious, in such a state of vulnerability. I'd never tell him that, though, not unless I wanted to be shoved off the bed. "I meant what I said to you before, Levi," I whispered, "I want us to live in the present. Yes, the past is a part of us, and yes, I know I just spent a good portion of your evening talking about it, but you shouldn't allow this discussion to upset you, nor should it affect how you and I continue to grow. Let's just focus on right now, okay? I think we've learned that tonight was a prime example of life, and how it can change within the blink of an eye."

I must have seemed dramatic, but I was forced to stop myself mid-speech just to allow myself to breathe. Replenished and ready to continue, I softly spoke, "I don't want to miss anything, Levi. Even if it's just for a second, that's still too much for me. I want to be there for every single moment of this new life with you. Even if you don't want me to, and even if it annoys the crap out of you, I'm always going to be right here, wherever you are. I know I'm way off base from where I started with this thing, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, I want you to stay focused on what you know about me and what you know about us, rather than what you don't know and what you can't remember. Can you promise me that?"

Somewhere along the lines of my lecture, Levi had closed his eyes. He was still awake, I knew that, because with the lift of his chin and the tilt of his forehead, he'd given me one of the laziest nods I'd seen to date. Words must have been far beyond his capacity at this point, otherwise his head motion would have been paired with a quick "yeah" or a simple "okay". Still, a nod was a nod. It suggested that he'd been listening, and that was more than enough for me.

"Good, I'm glad," I murmured. Not daring to disturb the peace, I kept my voice dangerously low, when I added, "You should go to sleep now."

But my words held no purpose, because they'd gone unheard. Even without my statement to coax him, Levi had already drifted off into a reversed state of a dreamland.

I didn't mind it, no, that wasn't it at all. In fact, I felt quite comfortable. There was nothing that could have placed my mind at better ease than having Levi right there, literally in the expanse of my wing. I could have held him, if I'd wanted to, but that was a boundary I wasn't willing to cross just yet. That was okay, though. Levi's promise to focus on the present had been directed toward himself, just as much as it had been directed towards me. I loved him, I did, in more ways than one could describe. For the time being, however, what  _I_ needed to focus on was learning how to love Levi as an angel, not as a human.

 

* * *

 

The following morning, after Levi had woken up, showered, and turned on the TV, I joined him by perching myself along the backside of the couch. It wasn't shocking to see that the news stations were recycling Armin's story. They were discussing new details that turned the tragedy into a trial, talking about my best friend like his death was just a part of their business transactions. It made my stomach swirl.

The next story that played caught Levi's attention more than it had caught mine. Apparently, some strange happenings in an abandoned apartment complex was believed to have some sort of relation to a supernatural being.

"Hey, Eren," Levi said, drawing me out of my daze. "You haven't been raiding apartments in the middle of the night, have you?"

"What?" I scoffed. "No, oh my God. What's been going on?"

"Have a listen." With a flick of his wrist, Levi pressed the volume button on his remote control, in turn, raising the sound on the television's speakers.

"Nearby homeowners have reported hearing the sound of glass breaking and loud, distraught cries in the middle of the night," one reporter said. "When police officers were called to the scene on multiple occasions, they were not able to find anything that seemed to be suspicious, other than the eerie atmosphere."

"Sounds like some spooky business to me," the co-anchor at the desk chuckled. "Do you think that place could be possessed? You know, maybe some ghosts are just trying to have some fun! I hear that wicked, late night parties are all the rage in the afterlife, these days."

"Very funny, Jerry." It was obvious that the reporter didn't think it was funny. "We have a crew heading over to the police station to discuss their reports. We'll get back to this story the moment we've received more information. Rachel, back to you."

"Eren, are you getting a load of this?" Levi snickered, turning down the volume after the news stories had switched once again. "That news person totally thinks that apartment complex is haunted by ghosts. What do you think about that?"

What did I think? What did  _I_  think? Well, I thought about a lot of things, but when it came to ghosts and other spirit beings of the like, I was told  _not_  to think about them, so I simply shrugged. "I don't know, Levi. What do you think?

With the slyest of smirks stretching along his lips, Levi uttered a sentence that made my stomach do its second flip within a matter of only minutes.

"I think we should check it out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Ooh, another cliffhanger. But, at this point, can you really expect anything less from me?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> \-- Chappy


	14. Historia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is absolutely adamant about checking out the abandoned apartment complex. Eren? Not so much.

"No." It was my initial response, but not only that, it was my final answer. "No. No, no. No."

Had Levi lost his mind? No, really, had he dropped it somewhere along the way? Maybe he had washed it straight out of his head, during one of his morning showers, or maybe he had inhaled too many fatal fumes from his constant exposure to hair dying products. And since when had he become so adventurous? I thought he had been a non-believer of all things supernatural before I came along, and now, of all times, he wanted to go...hunting?

"Um, why not?" Levi asked. He turned off the television and shot me a sideways glance. "What are you,  _scared_?"

I took offense to that. For whatever reason, I felt like Levi was presenting me with a challenge. I didn't like it. "No, I'm not _scared_." I was terrified, actually. "I just don't think it's a safe idea. What if it's a city gang that's making all of that noise? If they see you, you could get hurt."

"Didn't you hear what the reporter said? She said that when the police went to check the place out, there was no one there, just a lot of damage. I'm surprised you, of all people, are not jumping at this opportunity, Eren. Like, what if it's another angel, or something? And even if it's not, aren't you curious?"

I shook my head. I shook it twice. "My curiosity doesn't outweigh my need to keep you safe," I said. "This is a job for professionally trained authorities; not a young man and his guardian angel."

My eyes caught a glimpse of Levi sliding his hand along the back of the couch. When his fingers had reached where my feet were perched, I practically jolted into flight. Thankfully, my toes curled around the stable piece of furniture, keeping me grounded. My wings, however, they began to flutter anxiously.

"Whoa, geez," Levi gasped. "What kind of reaction was that? I thought you said you weren't scared."

"I'm _not_ scared," I defiantly spoke back. "I just don't want you to do anything that you'll regret. It's a reckless act, Levi, and I know you know that, too." He had to agree with me. There was nothing about this expedition that could be considered "danger-free".

Retracting his hand, Levi fed the very same fingers that had touched my foot through his semi-damp hair. He sighed. "Eren, you're obviously right. Of course there's going to be some aspect of uncertainty to all of this, but  _I_ have nothing to worry about. I have you, and you're going to protect me. Unless, are you beginning to doubt yourself and your abilities? If that's the case, then I guess that is actually a bit disconcerting to me."

Oh, yeah. I no longer had any doubts. Levi was trying to provoke me.

"Look, Levi," I sighed, trying to regain myself. It didn't feel right getting angry at him for his human interests. Heck, if I were still a human, I would be all about going...hunting. What was wrong with me? Was there a hiccup in my brain, or something? Now, just thinking about the word, the "g" word, it was like there was a filter being placed on it, and it caused a shiver to rush straight down my spine. "I'm not doubting myself, or my abilities. As your angel, yeah, I want to do everything that I can to prevent you from doing something stupid. Still, if you're really adamant about going-"

"And I am," was Levi's input.

Another sigh. "Like I was saying, if you're really adamant about going, then I guess I have no choice but to let you go. I can't forcibly make you do or not do anything that you don't want to do. I can try to persuade you otherwise, sure, but that's obviously not what's working here."

"Is that your way of indirectly calling me difficult?" Levi must have found it amusing, how I'd basically just threw him under the bus. He was right, though. I did think that he was being a tad too difficult with me, but wasn't that to be expected? What power did I have over him? Past or present, my word had never meant more than his.

Providing him with a neutral answer was probably my best bet. "Difficult or not, I'm only trying to get you to see my side of this..." Wait, were we arguing? Was this an argument? "...Debate." Yeah, that felt like a better word.

"So, it's settled, then."

"What is?"

Resting a firm hand on my shoulder, Levi gave me a gentle rock, before he spoke through a set of smirking lips. "We're going to check it out."

* * *

Just because Levi was so absorbed by his desire to become an investigator of paranormal activity, the world didn't cease to turn. He still had to go to work, and I still had to follow him there. Flying from above, as always, I watched his every step, his every move, in a way that a mother lioness would watch over her cub. It was ridiculous, but even if someone so much as brushed shoulders with him on his commute, my internal instincts caused me to descend a good amount of distance from my heightened altitude. I wasn't entirely sure if Levi noticed this protective trait of mine, but judging by the way he usually shook his head to himself when I did so, I'm guessing that he did.

A scattered amount of ringing chimes signaled Levi's entry, when he finally made it to the beauty salon. I was bit surprised to see that the place was pretty packed, for a Thursday afternoon. Was everyone taking their lunch break to get themselves a hair cut, or did they not have jobs at all? "There's a lot of people here," I whispered, even though it wasn't necessary of me to do so.

I saw Levi try to nod as nonchalantly as possible, before he flipped his switch and went into "Levi, the sassy hair stylist/make-up artist" mode. The instantaneity of it was almost like watching a regular, everyday man transforming into a superhero. In Levi's case, though, it was much, much more bizarre.

"Hey," he greeted, waving at his line of co-workers. They waved back, mimicking his signature tone, before returning to their heads of hair that needed cutting.

Following Levi over to the front counter, the same counter where people placed appointments and paid for their services, I watched him begin to fumble around with the disorganized assortment of sheets and files. A bit irritated by the mess, he asked, "Um, where are my appointments for today?"

The vicious voice that answered him made my wings stiffen. "I canceled all of your pre-made appointments. You're in charge of walk-ins today."

The look of utter and absolute disgust that overcame Levi's outward demeanor was actually pretty disturbing to witness. Was there really that much bad blood between him and Mikasa that caused him to look at her in such a way?

" _What_?" Levi asked, all but in a low growl. As if my wings weren't already tense enough, just hearing Levi speak in such a way made my feathers practically freeze over.

Obviously not in a mood to be tested - undoubtedly a factor of her business being so overcrowded - Mikasa slammed her perfectly manicured hand against the counter. It was a reaction that Levi must have been familiar with receiving, because I was the only one who seemed startled by it. "Don't you  _dare_  use that tone with me. I am at my wit's end with everyone and everything today, so I'm about this close to firing anyone who defies me."

With a roll of his eyes, Levi was brave enough to speak back, "But I don't  _do_ walk-ins. I have a special set of customers, and you  _know_ that."

"Stop arguing with me. My decision is final." We both watched spiked stilettos as they clacked off down the linoleum aisle of spinning chairs and tuffs of unruly hair. I was more than certain that all eyes were on Mikasa, as she sashayed away from her "little" scuffle with her employee. Once she had presumably returned to the make-up room in the back of her salon, every head, almost in unison, turned back to Levi.

Unfazed by his second of infamous fame, Levi sighed dramatically and took a seat in the chair that was stationed behind the front counter. Fixing the array of messy papers into a semi-neat pile, he tossed them off to the side and sighed again.

For me, as someone who had absolutely no experience in the hair-styling business, I had to admit that I was a bit confused. What was so bad about taking care of the walk-in clients? Would Levi even answer me, if I asked? It was worth a shot.

"Psst, Levi," I whispered. Again, not necessary.

"Hm?"

Actually hearing a vocal response out of him was exciting. Feeling comfortable enough with the start of our conversation, I persisted with my question. "What's so bad about walk-in clients? Like, what makes them different from your regular clients?"

As it would appear to others, Levi scoffed at nothing. Opening the centermost drawer of the counter, his fingers flittered around for a bit, before he pulled out a bright pink highlighter. Reaching for one of the blank appointment sheets, he flipped it over onto its back and began to scribble out a message. When he finished, he slid the paper over my way. I read it.

_Just wait. You'll see why._

I looked at him quizzically. I mean, yeah, I supposed it made better sense to wait and see for myself, rather than having Levi write me an entire essay about the hows and whys he hated walk-ins so much. Still, the air of secrecy about all of it made me feel incredibly curious. I wouldn't be a hypocrite, though. There were things that Levi had to wait for, so likewise, there were things that I had to wait for, too.

And boy, I didn't even understand what I had been waiting for.

In all of my life, no, in all of my  _lifetimes_ , I don't think I had ever been presented with such an eccentric, such a demanding group of people before. The walk-ins, they were a breed of their own. Unprepared and uncooperative, at least five people, excluding Mikasa, had yelled at Levi that afternoon. Oh, I don't think I have ever experienced irritation quite like that before. As an angel, it was quite uncharacteristic to say that I wanted to physically  _harm_ these people, for speaking to Levi in such a way. They didn't even have appropriate appointments, and they honestly expected that he would be completely available to their every beck and call? That's not how it works. How hard was it to understand that he only had two, albeit talented, hands?

After one woman was so fed up with waiting a grand total of ten minutes, she slammed down her magazine, popped her bubblegum all over her collagen-enhanced lips, and stated, "The service here isn't just bad, it's straight up ridiculous."

Levi, who was busily cutting a lollipop out of a little girl's hair, looked over his shoulder for only half of a breath. It was clear that he had no interest in giving such rude people the time of day, and I didn't blame him. "Have a nice day," he called out, claiming the woman's attention.

"Don't tell me what to do." Her response made me seethe. Levi was only trying to be nice, and she had the nerve to talk to him like? What was  _wrong_  with her?

"Okay, then don't have a nice day," Levi muttered. Only the little girl and I had heard him, but I was still fuming with so much rage that I couldn't even focus on his sarcasm, at the moment. At least his tiny customer had found it funny.

By the time my nerves had settled, I was able to just barely catch a glimpse of myself in one of the mirrors, just in time to see my eyes revert back to their usual, greenish-blue color. My eyes; it had to have been another angel thing. It was happening too often for it to be deemed otherwise. However, that wasn't the only thing I'd noticed, when I looked into the mirror. Staring at me through the reflection, like,  _directly_  at me, was the little girl.

"Mister, sir, haircutter man?" she asked, coaxing a much needed chuckle from Levi's lips.

"'Mister, sir, haircutter man'," he quoted, doubtlessly amused. "I've never heard that one before. What is it? Am I cutting your hair too short?"

It probably wasn't the smartest of ideas, but she shook her head in the very same way that many children do, causing the lollipop that was still cemented to her burgundy-brown locks to flop around wildly. "No, no, I see something." Pointing right at the mirror, she protested, "I see a boy with big, fluffy wings standing right there." Uh, oh.

Stunned by the little girl's accusation, Levi must have not known how to react. Luckily, kids said the darndest things, so he could freely pass off her sighting as something much more innocent. "Really? A boy with wings?" He turned his head to make a show of looking around. "I don't see anything." The irony was that he was looking right into my eyes, when he'd said that.

Growing restless, the small girl began to bounce in her chair, eventually kicking her legs up onto the seat. Peeking at me from over the back of the chair, she hid her face from my view, when I dared to meet her gaze.

"Hun, you have to sit up right from me, okay?" Levi sighed. "There's nothing there, so please turn around. I need to finish getting this sucker out of your hair."

Reluctantly, the little girl obeyed. Settling back into a proper sitting position, Levi instructed her to close her eyes. "I need to spray this special water on your hair," he explained. "It will help me get all of the tangles out."

Again, after her actions complied with his words, Levi gave me a pointed look from within the mirror, mouthing one word that, out of context, could have been misinterpreted as a greeting.

Hide. I needed to hide. But where? The front counter? That wouldn't do. I needed to get crafty, but the low-set nature of most of my surroundings made it terribly difficult to do so. If only I had the power to become invisible. That would have been much appreciated, at a time like this.

I couldn't dillydally any longer; I really needed to get a move on. Levi was just about finished spraying the young girl's hair, so I had to go. Thinking of the best place possible, I rushed toward the back of the salon, trying my best not to crash into anything along the way. Thankfully, I succeeded.

I ended up in one of the backrooms, and it was just my luck that I'd ended up in the very same room that Mikasa was currently taking her lunch break in. I say lunch, but instead of paying any attention to the container of salad that had her name on it, she was too busy getting ready to light up a cigarette.

Less than discrete, I whispered, "Pardon the intrusion."

Inhaling a mouthful of nicotine, she expelled a puff of cloudy smoke up toward the ceiling, along with her response. "What do you want?"

Mikasa had been playing down my presence, ever since we'd reunited, or in her case, ever since we'd "met". The tone of our relationship remained relatively neutral, and as depicted earlier, she mostly made a point of ignoring me.

"Oh, um," I rubbed the back of my neck. "I'm actually trying to hide from a little girl, right now. She can see me, so..."

Mikasa must have found that interesting, because she'd actually given me a fraction of her focus. After placing her cigarette between her lips, when she pulled it away, a glossy red marking was left behind. "That's weird," she mumbled. "You don't remember her?"

"No, I don't think so. She could have been a part of any-"

"Any of your lives, yeah, yeah."

Things were relatively silent, after that. I pretty much just stood awkwardly in the corner, while she continued to suck on her cigarette until it was a brittle bed of ash. Not wanting to bother her any more than I already had, I poked my head out of the room. It was a bit of a stretch, but I was almost certain that I saw the little girl getting out of her chair and getting ready to go. She appeared to be sporting a chin-length bob with a full-forehead fringe, much cuter than the rat's nest she had originally came in with.

"Well, it looks like the little girl is leaving now," I announced, already starting to take my leave, "so I'm going to head back."

I half-expected that I'd be allowed to leave without interaction, but as soon as I was out the door, Mikasa stopped me in my tracks.

"Hey, your name is Eren, right?"

She'd forgotten already? That was a bit...harsh. "Yes, it is," I smiled. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." She faltered, and I could tell that she was weighing out her response. "Well, no. It's just, okay. I had this really weird dream last night? Like, I remember calling out for someone named Eren, or whatever. I guess it must have been you. Weird."

Visibly uncomfortable by this newly acquired piece of knowledge, I nodded quickly in agreement. "Yeah, that's totally weird, uh...yeah. It's weird."

Now, I was between a rock and a hard place. Did I stay and ask her about her dream, or go back to Levi? My body was starting to itch all over, and Mikasa had started to shoo me off with the wave of her hand, so the latter became my only available option.

Heading out of the room just as rapidly as I had rushed into it, I cautiously headed back to where Levi stood, just in time to hear the mother of his little client say, "Now, Sasha, what do you say to this nice young man?"

Ah. That would explain it, then.

"Thank you for cutting my hair, mister, sir, haircutter man!" she giggled.

Fitting a hand into his hip, Levi chuckled and shook his head. "Don't mention it. Next time, though, don't let your little brother stick suckers into your hair, okay?"

"Aye, aye!" And with a childish salute, she turned her attention to, what I assumed to be, another child behind the front counter. "You hear that, Connie? No more sticking lollipops into my hair!"

Connie, too? Wow. Still a pair, even in the present.

After the mother had taken her two children out of the beauty salon, and Levi had finished attending to the rest of the obnoxiously impatient walks-in, his shift had finally come to an end, and he and I were ready to go back to the apartment...or so I hoped.

"Are you ready to go home now, Levi?" I asked. I tried to keep my voice as pleasant as possible, wondering if such a thing could maybe detour him from his prior thoughts about wanting to visit that abandoned apartment complex.

Cell phone to his ear, Levi clicked his tongue and said, "Um, no? We're going to check out those apartments, remember?"

"Oh, shoot!" I gasped. "I totally forgot! Say, how about we take a raincheck on that, hm? Maybe we could go tomorrow? Or Saturday? Or never...?"

"Not a chance. We're going, and you're coming with me."

Really, there was just no getting through to him. Why did I even waste my time trying? Sighing in defeat, I ascended into flight.

I kept a much shorter distance from Levi, now that it was nighttime. Not only that, but we were heading somewhere that had the potential to be very dangerous. I wanted to be as close to him as possible.

I heard Levi say something, but being that he had practically mouthed it, I had trouble deciphering what it was that he had said. Coasting downward even more, I was all but on top of him, flying off to his right, when I whispered, "What was that?"

Smirking through a chuckle, I wasn't sure if he was going to repeat himself. It was a good thing, though, because he did. He murmured, "I asked you if you'd protect me."

"Of course." My answer was instant, strong even. Everything about my composition changed. From simple to serious, I had reached a whole new level of determination. Levi wasn't going to change his mind, that was clear. I was going to follow him on his escapade, that was also clear. What I wanted to make clearer than clear, however, was that by no means had I valued my own well-being over his.

"I will protect you, even if it kills me."

* * *

Instead of pretending, Levi had actually used his cell phone to give Erwin a quick call. He wanted to let him know that he'd be back a little later than usual and not to ask him where he was going. I found that a bit unnerving, especially since it didn't seem like Erwin had made any attempt to pester him about it. After the call had been disconnected, I asked Levi if he had any idea where he was going. Apparently, he did, and apparently, the apartments were located not too far off from where the salon was.

Oddly enough, it took us approximately fifteen minutes, before we were standing outside of the discolored, dilapidated building. Everything about it screamed an air of "stay away", but Levi was still genuinely unconcerned by the horror-story scene placed before him. Me, on the other hand, my entire body began to tingle with superstitious premonitions.

"We don't have a flashlight," I realized, as we passed through the front gate that had been broken into by the police. There was no turning back now; if a curse had been placed on the proximity, crossing that gate would have made us succumb to it.

"It's better not to have one," Levi said, keeping his voice in a hush. "It would alert our presence. We want to stay as discrete as-"

Both Levi and I jumped. The sound that had cut him off, cut the both of us straight to our core, was so ungodly, so blood-curdling and horrendous, that my guard on Levi had immediately piqued. It was a scream, but not just any scream. This sound had held a purpose to it, one that no animal, nor human being could have ever produced.

"Whoa..." Levi whispered. I thought for sure that would have scared him off, that it would have made him want to turn back right away, but no. Nope, Levi was more driven than ever. "Let's go."

Creaky windows and less-than-sturdy steps were creepy enough in the daytime, but add nightfall, and you had yourself a recipe for wet pants. As a human, oh, sure, I would have loved this. Levi and I would have been like "g" busters, hunting our way through the ins and outs of this place without a second thought to it. Now, though, I had so much more laying on the line.

By the time we'd snuck our way up to the third floor, the noises of distress that we'd been hearing all throughout the stairwell had only grown louder and louder. Upon arriving at one of the many beat up and damaged doors, Levi ended up taking a quick listen for any activity on the other side. "I think it's this one," he spoke quietly. If the sounds didn't give it away, the broken doorknob probably did. Just as he was about to twist it off of its hinges, he faltered and pressed his ear to the door once again.

"What?" I whispered. "What is it? Do you hear something?"

"Yeah, I...I think I hear someone crying?"

Needing to hear such a thing for myself, I eased my ear closer to the door. For a moment, the supposed sobs had ceased, but just as suddenly as they had disappeared, they had returned.

And they weren't just cries. They were words. Coherent, understandable words.

_"Br...ing...b...ack... Bring...back...stori...a. His...ria. Bring back...Historia."_

Historia. Bring back Historia. That was what was being said, and that was what undoubtedly, for a second or more, made my curiosity outweigh Levi's. Eagerly, the door was opened and a flash of black had darted toward the corner of the empty room. I had seen it, definitely, but I wasn't entirely sure if Levi had.

"...Hello?" Levi was a brave soul, that was for sure. Even I didn't have the guts to call out to whatever had lurked in that room. Still, I felt kind of silly not following suit.

"Are you looking for someone named Historia?" I wondered, even going as far as offering, "You know, I know someone named Historia. She has blonde hair, really big blue eyes, and she-"

"I know you."

I didn't even have a chance to react, nor did I anticipate something like this to happen so suddenly, but standing right before me, with wide eyes that bore into my celestial soul, was the ghost, yes, the  _ghost_ , of a former member, a former  _traitor_ , of the Scouting Legion.

"...Ymir?"

Her body slunk away from me like ice that had instantaneously melted into its liquid state, and she was once again back in the corner of the room. Staring at the wall, she spoke my name. "Eren. You're Eren. I know you. You know Historia." Looking to her right, she spotted Levi. In less than a blink, she was staring him down. "I know you. You're Levi. You also know Historia."

Bravery? No. Courage? No. Instinct? Yes. It was what had caused my wings to flare at her, forcing her to cower back into the corner of the room.

"Stay away from him," I warned, standing my ground on property that wasn't even mine.

"Stay away from Historia," was her counter, one that was quite baffling.

"Ymir," I began, speaking in a tone of reason, "Historia isn't here. She's in Maria with Jean and all of the other angels. I've seen her, though, and she's doing well."

In an act of ripping out her hair, Ymir cast her ghostly body toward the other side of the room, where she remained still.

Sensing a lull in the commotion, Levi finally broke his silence, by whispering, "Eren, what  _is_  that thing? I can only see and hear it, when it moves."

Only when she moves? That's interesting. "It's the gho-"

There was no possible way for me to finish my answer. The loud shriek of despair that racked the room was almost deafening. I could only imagine how loud it must have been for the outside world. There was no time for imagining things, though, because again, Ymir was standing right in front of me, head cocked to the side like a murderer.

"Bring Historia back to me."

"I-I can't do that," I stammered, almost losing my simple stance. "Historia is up in Maria. I already told you that."

She must have understood that Levi could only see her in clips, because Ymir began to circle him, an act that caused him to visibly cringe in disgust.

"Bring Historia back to me."

"...Who?"

In a mockingly repetitive manner, Ymir rocked her head back and forth, chanting, "Who? Who? Who? Who?" After her monotone mimic, she broke out into hysterics.

Thrusting myself in between both Ymir and Levi, my wings began to flap at her wildly, offensively. "I said to stay away from him!"

"I said to stay away from Historia!" With each passing second, her emotions spun out of control. One second, she was laughing, and the next, she was crying. When six or seven more fazes of mood swings had passed, she reached her extreme and shattered an already broken window.

This was getting us no where. Ymir's speech sounded like a corrupted cassette player, and as her rage boiled on, things were only getting more and more dangerous for Levi's sake. "Levi, we should leave." I wish I hadn't made that statement an option. I wish I hadn't made that statement at all.

"Leave, leave. Levi, leave. Levi, lover, leave."

Prancing around the room like a little girl would skip through a flower meadow, Ymir continued to sing her newest chant. "Levi, lover. Lover, Levi. Lover, Historia." Suddenly, she burst out into laughter, spinning around the room like what she was saying provided her with some sort of closure. "Eren's lover is Levi! Ymir's lover is Historia!"

At this point, I didn't care about anything. I didn't care that Ymir was practically making out with her hand, and I didn't care that she had spoken the one and only thing that I had so desperately been trying to keep from Levi all along. None of that stuff mattered to me anymore, but what  _did_  matter, and what I  _did_  care about was getting Levi the Hell out of there.

"Levi, we have to-"

"No, wait." Of all times, he chose  _now_ to be inquisitive? "What did she mean, when she said-?"

But there was no saying anything. No answers, nothing. Nothing could be heard over the ear-piercing sound that Ymir had just screamed. It shook the entire room. All of the windows had shattered, and all four of the walls had begun to crack. Something was wrong.

Ymir was still now, as still as a statue made out of the finest cut of marble. Her arms were pulled behind her, cast backward and bent at the elbows. She looked like she was...about to do something with her hands? And where was she...?

Everything after that had happened in an adrenaline-induced flash.

Jumping in front of Levi, he was in my arms and surrounded by my protective embrace. Something had hit me, I felt it on my wing, but such a thing wasn't what I thought to be important.

With no regard of my surroundings, I pushed past the door that we had entered through, spread my wings far enough for them to be able to function, and coasted down the stairwell at a nauseating speed. Ymir was on our trail, I knew she was, and just before I had reached the route of freedom, I felt something else, something that felt like fingernails, swipe at my leg.

Out of the complex and off of the property grounds, we were safe. Ymir's spirit was bound to that complex; it showed in the way that she tried, failing each time, to follow us. I held as tightly to Levi as I possibly could, when I pounded my foot against the ground, giving me a boost to my altitude. However, it didn't take long for me to realize that there was something about my flight pattern wasn't quite right. My wings, although lopsided, weren't supporting me like they usually did. They felt painful and stange. But I couldn't give up. I had to get Levi home. I wouldn't be able to rest, until I did.

Within my arms, Levi had remained relatively still. Minus the one instance in which he had curled his fingers around my shirt for added assurance, he didn't fuss, nor did he interfere with any of my mechanics of flight.

Of all times when my landing needed to be perfect, this had not been one of those times. When I had finally made it back to those compact buildings that Levi, Erwin, and Hange called home, my feet met the ground before I had wanted them to, nearly sending both Levi and I into the pavement. Were there people around? Conveniently, there weren't. And even if there had been, no one would have believed their tale of the man who had magically flown through the night sky.

Guiding Levi to his feet had been the easy part; facing him in the eye, that was difficult. Well, now he knew. Was it by the terms that I had wanted him to know? Of course not. Could I have attributed Ymir's words to her being absolutely insane? That was a lie, and I knew it. Lover: it was the word that was resting on Levi's lips, and just as I was expecting my name to be spoken in question, I turned my head away shamefully.

What I heard instead was unexpected. It was gasp.

"Eren, your wing, it's..."

What? My wing was what? Looking back and forth, I tried to determine just what it was that Levi was talking about.

I didn't take a second more for me to notice. My heart, still pounding from such an event, still pounding from such a strain that had been placed on my frantic flight, practically stopped. It made sense to me, now, why my wings had felt so different.

My right wing was missing half of its feathers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Wowza, okay. Writing the end of this chapter actually made mescared. Spooky stuff. Lots of spooky stuff.
> 
> But lots of other things happened, too, and I hope you enjoyed them! This chapter was a lot of fun to write, so thank you so much for taking the time to read! Honestly, all of the reviews that I get from you guys make me so happy, so I'd really just like to say a big thank you all for your continued support.
> 
> Until next Friday!
> 
> \- Chappy


	15. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No more secrets, no more lies.

The sight of bone caused my stomach to churn. I shouldn't have been seeing such a thing. I should have been seeing my bright and fluffy, ivory feathers and nothing less.

I desperately felt the need to retrace my steps, to recount everything that had happened in the past flash of murky minutes. It wasn't an easy thing to do. My brain was still reeling from all of the excitement - and not the good kind.

What had happened to my wing? Had Ymir grabbed it, or something? No, it wasn't that. I remembered feeling something hit it, but what I had felt didn't add up to being hands.

"We should head inside now." By the time Levi had said that, a young woman and her presumed spouse were walking out of the apartment complex. They gave Levi a funny look, probably because to them, it looked as if he were speaking to nothing but the thin air in front of him, but he didn't seem bothered by it in the slightest. His main focus was on me, namely my well-being. "Come on."

I followed him at a slow gait, one that he matched perfectly. Never more than three steps ahead of me, if I fell behind by the slightest fraction, he readjusted his pace. Not only was I extremely flattered by that, but it made me feel like Levi had actually grown accustomed to just how close I needed to be to him in order to feel comfortable...especially now.

Climbing up the last flight of stairs had proved to be a terrible challenge for me, and I honestly didn't realize why until I had looked down. No wonder my leg had been killing me; it was drenched in blood. Gasping, I nearly stumbled backwards, which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do considering I was on a major incline. "Um, L-Levi?"

He turned his head to meet my gaze, and when he noted that my eyes were elsewhere, he followed their path to the split patch of dark red that was pooling through my jeans and trickling down to my toes. The look on Levi's face was a mixture of concern and mild nausea, when he quickly asked me if I was alright. "Do you need to rest for a while? We can stop right here."

That sounded like a godly suggestion to me, but it wasn't ideal. I could rest all I wanted to in the apartment, so I persevered. One foot in front of the other, I continued my climb, this time with the unrequested, much appreciated help of Levi's arm around mine.

The calm aura between the both of us was odd to me, but at the same time, it felt nostalgic. Was I being dragged up the stairs and into a modern dwelling, or was I on the battlefield, being hoisted toward our headquarters for protection and safety? Just thinking about it, just making such a comparison, made me realize something else: there were no more secrets between Levi and me anymore. Void of the details, and minus the knowledge of my Titan-shifting past, he knew everything else, even if I hadn't wanted him to.

All but throwing his shoes across the entryway, Levi slammed the front door and guided me down the hall. "Erwin," he called out, raising his voice to a level that would allow his friend to hear him at all ends of the apartment. "Erwin, I need your help."

There was a groan that sounded like a matured state of reluctance, followed by the shuffling of socked feet. Rounding the corner, what a regular person would have taken shock to, Erwin remained absolutely solid in his stance. It must have been his training toward becoming a surgeon that had prepared him for a sight such as this. "What happened?"

"Lots of stuff that I don't want to get into right now," Levi sighed. He repositioned his arm around mine, after he noticed my forming slouch. "I called you, because I need you to find those bandages that Hange used to have for track injuries."

"Are you kidding?" Folding his arms and shaking his head, Erwin pointedly said, "Hange hasn't run track in years. I highly doubt those bandages even made it through the move to this place."

Levi seemed irritated by their meaningless debate. He made it more than obvious by his controlled, yet ticked-off tone. "Ugh, can you just go and look? I need something to compress Eren's leg wound."

"Maybe I'd feel more compelled to help you, if you told me what was going on. Do you honestly expect me to just drop everything that I was doing to help  _your_ angel? I thought you and I had made a deal that he wouldn't become a nuisance to this place. Only a handful of days in, and he's already becoming one."

That had hurt. That had hurt a lot, actually. Did Erwin seriously think that I  _wanted_  to be like this? Vulnerable and injured, instead of healthy and protective? Of course I didn't, and little did he know that I had just placed my life on the line for the sake of protecting Levi, his  _supposed_ friend. Regardless, I had no right to talk, nor did I dare to lash out at him. If Levi wanted to say something, I'd let him, otherwise I'd stay silent.

Disgusted by Erwin's defiance, Levi named him a number of expletives, before hissing, "All you need to know is that this kid just saved my life, alright? That's something that I don't think you even care about anymore."

Somehow, that didn't sound right to me. Erwin had always had the lives of his soldiers in his best interest. Then again, this Erwin wasn't the Commander the that I remembered, and if my memory served me correctly, I could vaguely recall Levi referring to their relationship as being a "strange" one. Friends one minute, enemies the next it seemed.

Catching me unawares, Levi began to haul me off toward some undisclosed direction. The bathroom, maybe? It seemed like a pretty logical guess to me, and it was a guess that ended up being right.

Pushing the door open with the side of his hip, I was helped into the bathroom and told to sit on the floor mat below. While Levi looked through the mirror that also served the purpose of being a medicine cabinet, he continued to quietly curse to himself. "Damn it. Where the Hell does Hange keep those stupid things?"

"Levi," I tried to say, "it's okay, I-"

"No, Eren, it's  _not_ okay," Levi interrupted. I was starting to realize that either I never spoke fast enough, or he just had a bad habit of getting his thoughts in first. Sifting through band-aid box after band-aid box, all containing bandages that were much too small to conceal the cuts on my leg, Levi gave up his search momentarily. Resting his hands down onto the sink, he hung his head low and expelled a rather weighted breath. "None of this would have happened, if I had just listened to you in the first place. You wouldn't have gotten hurt."

Tilting my chin upward, I paired his breath with a sigh of my own. "Levi, you  _do_  understand what I am, don't you?"

"Of course I do, but that doesn't excuse my dumb decision," he scoffed. "Seriously, what was I even thinking? Ghost hunting? It was such an idiotic thing to do, and I didn't even gain anything from it. I'm just that selfish. That has to be it."

It required a good amount of effort to do so, but I stood myself back up again. Levi would have had something to say about it if I had let him speak, but I didn't. It was my turn to talk. "You're not selfish, Levi. You have a kind heart, and that much hasn't changed about you. However, it's not your job to worry about me; it's my job to worry about you. Yes, we shouldn't have taken things into our own hands, and yes, it was a stupid idea, but there's nothing we can change about it now. What's done is done and it's behind us. And besides, if you really think about it, the trip wasn't an entire loss for you... You did gain something from having us go there."

Honestly, I saw no point in hiding it anymore. Doing so would only make me look foolish. Levi had heard Ymir, and there was no doubt in my mind that he hadn't. Still, I'd let him be the first to bring the topic up for explanation.

"...I did?" he questioned. My wing must have distracted him, sending the memory further back into his brain banks. My leg must have pushed it back even further, but that didn't stop him from finally figuring it out. "Oh, that's right. I...did."

Suddenly, things felt awkward. If I could turn back the clock, if I could change the way in which he had learned about us, about our past relationship, for the love of God, I would have. Although he knew our title, he didn't know about anything else. He was still blissfully unaware of the extent of our bond.

Closing the medicine cabinet, Levi and I got a complete view of ourselves within the mirror. He was off to my right, and I was off to his left, the manufactured glass before us displaying the reflective opposite. There was a distance in the way we conversed, when he didn't look at me. He was looking at me only through my reflection. "Can we talk about it?" His voice hadn't been any more than a whisper.

I did the same, following suit, by looking at his reflection as well. For someone who had just been through a horrifying experience, I envied the fact that he still looked runway ready. It made me feel pretty proud knowing that, because of me and because of my guard on him, I had kept him looking that way. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about that, though. Levi had just asked me a very important question, one that needed immediate answering. "...Yes. If you're willing to, we can talk-"

"I'm home!" It was Hange, his singsong voice cutting through the walls and ringing about the whole apartment. He sure had a thing called impeccable timing. "I'm home! I'm home! I'm home!"

"Hange..." Levi groaned. I watched his fingers clench into a loose fist, before he remembered that Hange might have known the placement of what he was looking for. "...Hange!"

"Yo!" I heard Hange laugh. He must have been in the entryway, taking off his shoes, or something. This was all based on the distant sound of his voice. Soon enough, however, he was bounding around the corner, very much like a dog. He spent the entirety of his day with them, after all, so it was only natural of him to acquire some of their traits, right? Fully donned in his pet shop attire, he poked his head through the bathroom door and smiled. "What's up-whoa!" Gone was his amiable attitude, and replacing it was a complexion of utmost concern. "What happened?!"

Levi and I looked at one another, more than likely in an attempt to permit the other the allowance to speak first, but it was Levi who ultimately answered the question. "A lot, but none of it is important right now. Do you still have those bandages that you used to use for leg injuries, when you ran track? I need them."

Because Levi had stated that  _he_ needed them, Hange's eyes looked to his legs first, but it was merely a second and nothing more for him to shift his gaze over to mine. "Oh, oh, God! Um, um, yeah, I think I still have them. They have to be in my room somewhere. I'll go check."

Hange told us to stay put while he looked, which I didn't mind at all. There was no point in all of us hobbling over to his room if the search ended up being a lost cause. For the time being, Levi saw it fit to clean my wound before we dressed it.

"I'm going to pull up your pant leg," he told me, not wanting to do anything that would cause me any form of unexpected pain. "Are you ready?"

Mindful of my wings, I settled myself down onto the bathtub's ledge. In order for Levi to pull up my pants, he'd need better access to them, right? I propped my foot up for him. "Go for it," I said. I had full trust in him that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

I shouldn't have trusted him. Actually, no, scratch that. I trusted Levi completely. What I didn't trust was his sense of fashion. Skinny jeans and a bleeding wound? Yeah, not a good mix at all.

"Ow, ow! Please, stop!" I yelped, and frantically pulled my foot away from him. Wincing at the stinging pain that shot up a good part of my leg, I felt the need to nurse my wound somehow. If only I had healing powers of some sort. They would have been very appreciated in a moment like this. For now, though, my fingers would have to suffice.

"Sorry," Levi whispered. He bit his lip afterward, more than likely thinking of a better way to do something like this. Since pulling my pants up was out, what other option was there? "Take them off." Oh, well, I guess there was that.

"Off?" I repeated. "As in..."

"Yeah, as in, off of your legs. Take them completely off."

That shouldn't have been as big of an issue as I was making it out to be. Levi had seen me naked on not just one, but two occasions now, and I was feeling bashful about being in boxers around him? I felt ridiculous, but it must have had something to do with his set of newly acquired information this evening.

Without any warning whatsoever, Levi bent at the knee and reached for my waistline. Taking up the task himself, he fit his fingers through the buttons of my jeans, unfastening the two that held the dense textile together. Next came the zipper, something that he paid careful attention to. Down my thighs and around my knees, Levi looked up at me before he went any further. "This is going to be the tricky part," he said slowly. "I'm going to ask you again, and this time, I suggest that you don't struggle, okay?" I nodded. "Are you ready?" A bit more hesitant, yet still, I nodded again.

Just before Levi could do anything abrasive, Hange had burst back into the bathroom, two boxes of bandages in his hands. "Look what I fou-whoa, whoa, whoa!" he gasped. "What did I just walk in on?!"

With a roll of his eyes, Levi extended his hand, intending to receive one of the boxes. "Not what your dirty mind is thinking, that's for sure."

Flushed beyond belief, I casted my head away from both Levi and Hange. What we had been doing was totally and completely innocent, but I could definitely see how it could be misinterpreted by unsuspecting eyes.

Handing the bandages over to Levi, Hange muffled a chuckle behind his palm, obviously feeling no need to alleviate any of my discomfort. Nope, my embarrassment was funny to him, and he wasn't ashamed to hide it.

"Thanks," Levi said, resting the box beside his leg. "Now, Eren," I looked at him. "I'm going to work on getting these off. Basically, I'm going to rip them off of you."

"Pffft!"

"Hange, shut up," Levi warned. "Like I said, I'm going to rip them off really fast, so it's probably going to hurt like Hell initially, but it won't last for long. Is that okay with you?"

Nodding, I slowly lifted my legs, trying to help him in making this whole process all the more manageable. "It'll be like ripping off a band-aid, right?" I joked.

"Yeah, but a lot worse."

Oh, yeah. It was definitely worse. Biting back a scream, I held onto the bathtub for dear life, as Levi pulled the pants off of me. Like he had promised, it only hurt for the first few moments, and then, the pain was relatively non-existent. And now that it was out in the open, we were finally able to see the full extent of my gaping gash.

"It looks worse than it feels," I smiled, even though I felt like doing nothing of the sort.

"I thought I told you not to give me anymore of those fake smiles," Levi sighed. Wow, he was good. "And even if you say that, that doesn't change the fact that we still need to clean it up. I highly doubt angels get infections like humans do, but I don't want to wrap your leg up while it's still coated in dry blood."

Hange, who had gone relatively unnoticed, moved to sit himself down on the toilet seat. He folded his arms over his legs, when he questioned, "So, is anyone going to tell me how this happened, or are you just going to leave me in the dark about this?"

Levi was busily fussing around with the shower head, removing it from its hook and pulling it down in order to rest it within the bathtub, before he turned on the water. "I'll tell you about it later, okay? For right now, can you please just give Eren and me some time to ourselves?"

What Hange would have normally taken offense to, he seemed to accept quite easily. Lifting himself from the toilet, he nodded once and moved to take his leave. "What happened to the both of you tonight was probably very life changing. Take as much time as you need. I'll be in my room, when you're ready to talk."

Thanking Hange for his obedience, Levi turned his attention back to me. "Can you put your leg into the tub for me, please?"

"Mhm." Turning my body inward, one leg hanging over the edge of the tub, one leg inside of it, I watched Levi lift the shower head and direct it toward my wound. Surprisingly, the water hadn't hurt as much as I had anticipated it to. In fact, it actually felt kind of nice.

Washing off the blood that still seeped through my open wound, Levi kept his focus on my leg, but directed the conversation back toward me. "We were going to talk, weren't we?" he muttered, speaking loud enough to be heard over the rushing sound of the shower water.

"Yeah, we were," I responded softly, earning a quick glance from Levi in the process. "Did you, uh...want to discuss it right now?"

"Yeah, well," Levi sighed, rubbing the length of my leg, trying to get it as clean as possible. He must have felt like he was shampooing a dog, or something like that. "We can wait until you're all bandaged up. By the way, how does your wing feel?"

"Oh! Uh, not bad, actually," I answered, giving it a flap or two for proof. "It's a little sore and feels kind of weird, but other than that, it's nothing compared to my leg...which is starting to feel a lot better now, too."

Upon hearing my response, Levi had just about finished washing up my leg. Once he was done, he grabbed a nearby towel, dabbed it dry, and began working with the box of bandages that he intended to wrap around my calve. "Tell me if it hurts," he instructed.

"I think we've already established that I'll tell you if something hurts, Levi," I sighed, reliving the moment when I had practically ripped my leg away from him.

Shrugging his shoulders in agreement, Levi simply stated, "Yeah, I guess you're right," before he began to dress my wound.

It took Levi about five minutes to completely bandage up my leg, but I had no reason to complain. It wasn't an unpleasant experience, not at all. Not only was he worried about making the bandage a tight fit, but it was clear to me that he was also worried about making me feel as comfortable as possible, too. Levi didn't have to rub my leg in order to wrap a bandage around it, but that didn't stop him from doing so anyway.

"Does it hurt when you stand?" Levi wondered, helping me off of the side of the tub.

I wasn't even sure about that yet, so I said, "Well, let's find out." Applying a decent amount of pressure to my foot, I rated my pain factor on a scale of one to ten. "I'd say I'm about a four, maybe even a three and a half, so it's not that bad." I followed up that statement with one that was far more sincere. "Thank you for cleaning my leg, Levi. I mean, I probably could have taken care of it myself."

"You're welcome," Levi replied, "but there's no need for you to constantly play the role of the hero. Everyone needs help sometimes, even angels."

I smiled at that, a  _real_ smile this time. Levi was absolutely right, and it was clear enough from my less than glamorous appearance that help was needed. I'd just have to own up to it. Besides, I was pretty sure that we'd already confirmed that there was nothing normal about our relationship anyways, so why try to make it into something that it wasn't? I was a guardian angel, and as my duty, I was to protect my guarded human, but who's to say that a little protection of my own wasn't needed?

 

* * *

 

In Levi's bedroom, the awkward air that I'd felt earlier began to lay itself thickly over the both of us again. We were like immature teenagers trying to talk about something that used to be so easy for us. At this point, I almost wished that Levi would just spit out everything that was on his mind. There was no holding back anymore; I would answer it all.

He allowed me to sit on his bed in a way so that we were both facing one another. His legs were crossed, mine were pulled up to my chest. I soon had a feeling that his eyes weren't on my face, what with the way that they were off center, so before we got into anything too deep, I whispered, "Levi, I'm fine. Both my leg and my wing are  _fine_."

"Do you think they'll heal on their own?" he asked, again, another angel-related question that I didn't know the answer to. All of these instances made me wonder if Jean and Historia had really prepared me well enough for this.

"You know, I'm not sure. They might?" I felt like he was trying to avoid the subject that he really wanted to get to, so in an effort to coax it out of him, I proposed, "Levi, are we...are we ready to talk now?"

I followed Levi's eyes with my own, as they scanned the grand expanse of my damaged wing. When our gazes had finally met, he breathed in deeply and nodded. "Yeah, we're ready."

The ball was in his court, and I wanted to make that very clear to him before he got the wrong idea. "I want you to ask me what you're thinking about," I explained. "Start with the question that is the most prominent to you."

Wasting no time, Levi brought his hand to the back of his neck and slumped his shoulders. "My biggest concern," he began slowly, steadily, "is why you didn't tell me any of this sooner. No, no. I shouldn't start with that." He sighed. "Alright, tell me the truth on this one: is what that ghost said really true?"

I bit my lip. This was it. "Be more specific."

Another sigh. "Were we...back then, were you and I...lovers, Eren?"

Inhaling sharply through my nose, I closed my eyes in what must have looked like a silent prayer, when in reality, it was my artistic attempt at holding back my tears. It was an attempt that failed.

"Yes."

The word came out softer than anything I'd ever spoken before. For a meaning so mighty, it held no might to it. It was a weak, breathless response that could have been better in a billion different ways.

There wasn't enough time for me to dwell over it, though, because before I knew it, in came Levi's voice again. "...I see," he murmured, he, too, speaking quite carefully. "So why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Did Levi not understand the burden that would have placed him under? The burden that it would have placed  _me_  under? Oh, sure, I could have told him that we were lovers right from the get-go, but what would that have accomplished? It would have made him confused and upset, just like I'm sure he was feeling right now.

"I couldn't," I whispered, speaking through my tears. "I couldn't do it, Levi. I just couldn't."

"But why?" he persisted, an act that tested my sanity as much as it tested my patience. "Why couldn't you?"

Like the turning of a knob on a faucet, the stream of my tears began to accelerate. Such an increase in their flow was more than likely because I had opened my eyes, showing him the reason "why" both physically and verbally. "Because it wouldn't have changed anything, Levi," I sobbed. "It wouldn't have changed anything at all. Telling you that we used to be lovers would have solved absolutely nothing. You still wouldn't remember, and you still wouldn't have loved me back, so what would have been the point?"

Levi must have not been able to stand the sight of seeing me cry any longer, because as he moved closer, he extended his arm just enough so that his fingers carefully brushed their way along the side of my dampened cheek. It was a feeling that brought me right back to the days in which I would cry over our fallen comrades. If only he knew that he used to comfort me in the very same way that he was right now...

"It's been a long day," Levi whispered, stroking his fingers up and down. He collected most of my tears, before saying, "Eren, I'm going to ask you one more thing, alright? And please, I want you to answer it honestly."

Having no intention of doing otherwise from the beginning, I nodded slowly, sniffling in a way that must have made me look pathetic and childish. "Go ahead."

"When you and I were lovers," he whispered, easing even closer to me in a way that forced my heart to skip a beat, "did we do a lot of...this?"

Those fingers that had been carefully placed on my cheek were now caressing the side of my face. I was convinced that my tears must have prompted such sincerity out of him, but the shock of it all was when my quivering lips felt the hovering presence of his own. "...A lot of what, Levi?"

Speaking in a breathy tone allowed my lips to unintentionally brush against Levi's, an action that caused my stilted pulse to run rampant, and it didn't take me a moment more to realize that he had no intention of answering me through the use of words.

I timed the length of our kiss. From start to finish, it had been a brief, three-second peck that had successfully done its job in taking my breath away. Wide-eyed and at a loss of words, I couldn't even begin to describe the colorful array of emotions I had begun feeling. The only thought that did my spectrum justice was to say that what I was experiencing was like having a firework explode in the pit of my stomach. It was marvelous.

"Well?" Levi breathed. After all, he was still waiting on my answer.

My exhale was deep, but my stare was even deeper. Opening my eyes, I found myself looking at him like he was the man that I had given myself to, the man that I had devoted my life to, the man that I had called Corporal. Swallowing back all of my insecurities, I answered him with his request of honesty.

"Yes. We definitely did a lot of that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> I feel like there needs to be some sort of angelic choir music going on here, because after fifteen chapters, we're finally getting somewhere! Hallelujah!
> 
> I really hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter, and good news for you, next Friday is Valentine's Day. How will that affect the next chapter? You'll just have to wait and see!
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	16. Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One, two, three, four, Eren can't help from wanting more.

I honestly didn't think that there were words, any of them, for what I had been feeling in that very moment. The sensation of his lips pressed up against my own still lingered, causing the idea of it all to finally hit me. We had kissed. Levi and I had  _actually_  kissed...and he had been the one to initiate it.

I'm not sure if he fully understood the extent of what he had just done. Yes, it was probably nothing more than just a kiss to him, but for me, it was so much more valuable than that. "Levi," I whispered, not daring to raise my voice to anything above that, "why did you...why did you do that?"

Initially, I had been calm in my response to Levi, which was not only incredible, but I was beginning to question just how I'd managed to do it.  _"Yes. We definitely did a lot of that."_  Where did that even come from? Was I living in the days of the past where I actually had a sense of confidence? A sense of sexuality? Those days, I was sure that they had been long forgotten, but maybe through this small act of affection, a small purpose had been served in stirring them up again.

"Why did I do what, Eren?" Levi asked. His voice had fallen into a tone that was lower than expected, forcing my good wing into a fluttering frenzy.

Unable to think of any other way to verbalize the message I was trying to get across to him, I figured that being honest and up-front about the situation was a good thing. At least, that's what I thought, before I actually said anything. "Why did we, why did  _you_ kiss me?"

Feeling a bit anxious, I was finally able to realize that even after the minute or so from when we had kissed, Levi still made no move to distance his face from mine. What was he waiting for? He didn't have any intention of kissing me again, did he?

Speaking as if his answer was the most obvious thing in the world, Levi wore an arched brow, as he whispered, "What do you mean? I was only asking you a question."

A question, that was what he had called it, and somehow, it seemed to me like he was avoiding something more scandalous. What, though? What was there that would cause him to put up a false excuse?

"If you were going to ask me a question," I stated, having no desire to distance myself from him either, "you could have just asked. What you did, that wasn't a question. That was a kiss, Levi." Playing those words back to myself for reassessment, I suddenly came to terms with just how ungrateful I sounded. Levi had kissed me and I was lecturing him about it? There had to be something wrong with me.

"It was a question with a demonstration. That's why I kissed you."

No, I wouldn't accept that. I wouldn't accept that, because I didn't  _want_  to accept it. Now that I'd had a small sampling of the forbidden fruit, I wanted to devour it whole. That's exactly what Levi's lips did to me, both then and now.

Allowing my legs to shift downward, bending at the knees and flexing at the feet, I exhaled softly. Even though it had been gently so, I watched the way that the my breath had caused the thin hairs of Levi's fringe to sway. We were so close, so close that if his face bore any blemishes, I would be able to see them. Oh, but he didn't possess a single imperfection of the sort. No, not to me. Everything from his narrowed eyes that held a purpose of constant distain, to the way his legs carried him when he walked, I loved it. I loved at all it, all of  _him_ , and I could finally admit it.

"Levi," I breathed, blinking my eyes as I slowly spoke his name, "I don't think you understand what that kiss...what that demonstration just did to me."

Levi wasn't cruel, I was certain of that, and there was a moment, if only for a fraction of a second, where I witnessed a hint of guilt gracing his features. Just as soon as it was there, the emotion had faded, and replacing it was a look that I almost didn't know I remembered. Levi's eyes had acquired something feral, an expression so incredibly desirable that I had to remind myself where I was, who I was looking at, and what I was doing.

"What did it do, Eren?" Levi whispered. I'd nearly forgotten that his hand was delicately resting on my face, and now that his fingers began to move in comforting, half-circle motions, I found it very difficult to keep my eyes open. I just wanted this feeling, the same feeling that I thought I had lost forever, to last just as long.

Against their will, my eyelids fell, and just like a minute prior, another light sigh had left me. There were so many things going through my mind, and with so many different options for a response, I decided that my best answer would equate to my first thought. Without having to visibly see Levi's gorgeous glare staring straight through my core, I had enough confidence to whisper, "It made me want to hear what other questions you have." If there was anything I could do to receive a few more of those lovely "demonstrations" of his, oh, believe me, I would do it.

There was a scoff, and for what felt like the millionth time of open and close, I just had to get a peek of Levi's newest expression. From attractive to amused, something about the way he curled his lips told me that I wouldn't like what he had to say next. "That was my last question, Eren."

Yeah, right. I just finished telling him that we used to be lovers, that we've kissed so many times in the past, and he had absolutely no more questions for me? I didn't buy it. He was holding himself back, and it was a type of teasing that I didn't think my restless body or my tired mind could handle.

"Levi,  _please_." As much as I had no right to be acting so greedy, I had  _every_ right to do as such. Did he know how long I'd been waiting for this? For the lifetime where our paths would finally cross and we'd fall in love all over again? It wasn't fair and I felt gipped, but at the same time, could I really complain? Out of the billions of people on this Earth, my guarded human ended up being Levi. If fate wasn't on my side in that instance, I didn't know what was. However, when I realized just how needy I had sounded, I had to apologize. "Sorry, that was wrong of me. If you really don't have any more questions, then-"

"Hold on." Oh, alright. Not only had Levi said that, but he physically moved his hand from my cheek to my lips, halting my speech. Just when I thought we couldn't get any closer without kissing, he unfolded his legs from their criss-cross entanglement. Having them spread allowed him to move more freely, and he wasted no time in exploiting that.

My sense of touch followed Levi's fingers from my lips to my neck. Lingering there for just a second and no more, I didn't even have a chance to fully appreciate the feeling before he was moving again. When there was a hesitance at my shoulder, I rolled it for him. It was my way of showing him the connection beneath his touch, that as much as he could feel me, I could feel him.

After waiting for what felt like centuries when it had only been seconds, I questioned, "What am I holding on for, Levi?"

With both a verbal and a tangible response, Levi brought his second hand up to my opposing shoulder. Again, my body welcomed him to the touch. "I think I might have a few more questions for you."

Somewhere in the depths, further back than in the base of my brain, something was telling me that we were tickling the edges of a flame that had never quite managed to die out. Would we be warmed by this fire, or would it burn us right through our skin? Clearly, even though our actions were confusing and regret was a major possibility, we were willing to find out for ourselves.

"Go ahead," I said, and somewhere along the line, my voice was no longer what it used to be. I sounded weak, exhausted actually, but in the end, it all came down to the decades upon decades of only relying on a mother's touch, never a lover's. "I'll answer anything."

Remember how I mentioned that I didn't believe Levi could have gotten any closer to me than he already was? Well, scratch that, negate it, and throw it out the window, because just barely bringing his lips to mine, angling them in a fashion that made me actually  _feel_ every word he spoke, he murmured, "Alright. So, just how often did you and I do...this?"

This time, instead of waiting for him to completely take charge, I met him in what little half-way still remained between us. Just as he tilted his head for me, I did the same for him. Instead of succumbing to another kiss by suspecting surprise, I wanted to take a part in it, too.

So, in layman's terms, I kissed him back.

Our second kiss had lasted double the duration of our first, and Levi, being the one to pull away, was ready for my answer. However, I  _wasn't_  ready. I wanted more. I wanted a third and a forth kiss, and I didn't want to wait. Honestly, I wanted it so badly that I began to lean forward for him.

"Ah, ah." At his tone, I quickly snapped back. "I need an answer first."

"Very often," I exhaled, and in an effort to catch my breath, I rested my forehead against his. "You would kiss me goodnight before I fell asleep, and in the mornings, I would sneak into your quarters and kiss you until you woke up."

"And during the day?" Levi's question had been one that didn't prompt another kiss, and although I was a bit disappointed, I enjoyed being able to talk to him about the workings of our relationship. Sure, it would have been better for him to remember everything on his own, but we were taking baby steps. And who knows? My words just may have been the memory trigger that he needed.

"We didn't do this," bravely, I pecked him, "or this," outstandingly, I pecked him again, "during any hours of the day." Working up the courage to do so, my hands curiously and carefully grabbed a gentle hold of his knees. Stroking them slowly, thoughtfully, I continued to explain, "We weren't very good at hiding it, but our relationship was considered taboo. I couldn't imagine the sorts of trouble we would have gotten into if one of the higher ups saw us together. Luckily, our close comrades could keep a pretty good secret."

"Huh." Levi seemed genuinely intrigued by that, and if he wanted to dig a little deeper, I'd let him, but could he at least ask me another, more "specified" question first?

Rocking back and forth, my eagerness was apparent. Tightening my grip on Levi's legs by a small margin, it nearly sounded like a plea, when I stated, "Levi, ask me more." By now, it was obvious what I was after, and thankfully, Levi seemed to be after the same thing.

He didn't love me, I knew that much, but that didn't stop him from obliging our desires. Without uttering anything even remotely inquisitive, Levi's lips were on mine, and again, we were kissing.

Everything felt natural and nothing felt forced. Nearly thousands of years had separated me from this feeling, and even though its meaning had only brushed the surface of our emotions, I didn't care. I'd just keep telling myself that I'd allow the regrets to come later.

We kept pacing ourselves, extending the length of our lips by intervals. First three seconds, then for six. Now, we've moved up to ten, fifteen, with our longest being twenty. Breathless and even a bit dizzied by the lack of air, Levi and I must have looked like marathon runners with the way we panted and heaved at completion.

Smiling felt like more of an effort than it was worth, but I  _gave_ it worth. I'd just kissed the man that I loved not once, not twice, but more times that my blissful brain could even count at the moment. It was mesmerizing and enchanting, and even though my body was built very much like a human's, I could almost guarantee that what Levi and I were feeling was very different. He was the one being touched by an angel, after all.

"Eren, I want to ask you something else."

I liked the sound of Levi's voice, when he said that. It reminded me of the guttural way that he used to speak to me in private, but there was no way that I'd tell him something like that yet. We were both riding on a high of confidence, and I'd be damned if I did anything to ruin that.

Moving my hands from his knees to the base of his upper thighs and back again, I sighed, "Yes, Levi? What is it?"

Releasing a sigh of his own, I was tempted to hold my breath. Levi's hands, much like mine, decided to move. From my shoulders, they slid their way down to my chest and over the very heart that he'd unknowingly captured so long ago. If only there was a way I could lessen its embarrassing flutter; however, with what Levi had asked of me next, there was no way that was happening.

"When you and I were in love, where was your favourite place to be kissed?"

Oh, God, if only he knew. My lips, while lovely at any time, morning or night, weren't my favourite place, and neither were they his. There was another portion of my body that tingled with every touch, vibrated through my center, and made me melt with each passing minute.

"My nape."

The only point where my voice had faltered was in the time that it took me to actually vocalize my response. There was nothing but certainty in my answer, because it was absolutely true. The sensitivity of the skin on the back of my neck was almost ridiculous, and the way that Levi used to pepper gentle kisses of possession to it... Ugh, I could cry just thinking about it. How I yearned to feel those captivating kisses again...

It's funny, but I could vaguely remember the first time we'd discovered my weakness in that area. It had been in the middle of a summer's night, just after a large rain spell had left us worn out and wet from the evening's incline training. Every muscle in my legs had burned like Hell, but I couldn't even think about any of that with the way that Levi had been stroking them from behind. Whispering against my ear and reassuring me of my job well done, it was through his experimental kiss that had been so quick it shouldn't have even counted as anything that we'd found my sweet spot. Oh, the things he did to me there back then...

Wait a second. How long had I been daydreaming? The last thing I knew, Levi had been right in front of me, closer than I could comprehend, and now he was...

Oh, God. Oh, my  _God_. "Levi, what are you do-"

My body had reacted before my mind, and I couldn't suppress, nor could I have predicted, the extent of my physical response. Both wings, both damaged and healthy alike, flared outward to their full expanse, sending a cascade of feathers into the surrounding space of the air, which suddenly, was starting to feel just as hot and heavy as it had on that barely remembered summer's night.

Words were beyond my capability at that point, so instead of even trying, I allowed Levi to do whatever the heck he wanted with me. I was his, right? Besides, there was nothing wrong with letting him get reacquainted with my body. Albeit angelic, all of my needs were still very similar, if not precisely the same.

There was an innocence in the way he kissed the nape of my neck. Unsure of whether he was feeling uncertain of himself, or if it could have been something as simple as being frightened by the erratic nature of my wings, Levi kept his kissing slow and light. Was he afraid that he would break me? That if he kissed me any harder, I would decompose and wither in a pile of dust? Or maybe it would be something more dramatic, like shattering into a million, no, a  _billion_  pieces like that of stained glass? That was silly and I surely hoped that it wasn't the case.

I arched my neck upward, tilting my chin to the ceiling. There was a nostalgia to what I felt, but at the same time, everything was new. Levi wasn't stroking my legs like he had been on that now unforgettable night. Instead, with his fingers fitting into my feathers, I was shocked by the simple sincerity of his touch, the way that such a sensation brought both peace and pleasure to my soul. "Levi, that's..." I whispered, for anything louder would be too much.

"Your favourite spot, right?"

Oh, yeah. Favourite, but in a way he didn't understand. "Yes, but..." There was no easy way of putting it, not in the slightest. "If you keep doing that," I swallowed, trying to keep steady, "if you keep doing that, I'll start to get the wrong idea."

And the wrong idea was not what I needed right now. I didn't want to fall back into a fantasy of the past, and I most definitely did not want to leap ahead into a future filled with romance that may or may not even happen. Wow, had the actions of tonight actually placed such a thought into my head? The future. How it was to be spent, that was left to be determined, but what was known for sure was that it would be a future spent entirely with Levi, platonically or not.

The word "stop" had never left my lips - well, okay, maybe it did once or twice when he was pulling up my pant leg - but Levi knew his boundaries, and in return, he knew my limits. There was a soft chill of his breath that danced across my skin, forcing the muscles in my shoulders to bunch and causing my wings to cave in. With that single exhale, he withdrew from my nape, and for the first time in my life, I truly understood the meaning of bittersweet.

"So, the reason I had to stop was...?" Levi spoke from behind, leaving his hands exactly where they were, still within my wings.

"Because it felt too good." Just as I had to understand that Levi's feelings for me were neutral, and that tonight had been a game that we both enjoyed playing, he, too, had to understand that my feelings for him exceeded the common standards for a human-angel bond. We'd respect each other's comfort zones, only to push pass them if given the permission to do so.

Hearing a faint chuckle, one that was breathy and gentle, allowed the calm that I'd been seeking to encompass me. Just knowing that after everything we'd done, and after all of the wonderful kisses we'd shared, that there was actually a relaxed mood between us made my heart soar. The awkwardness from before, it was long gone. In its place was a freedom that I hadn't felt in quite a while, if ever, really.

"What?" I wondered, cracking a smile myself. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because," Levi said, an answer that, to me, wasn't as nearly up to par as it should have been. Scooting from behind so that he was seated before me once more, he not only pointed at, but he poked me in the chest. "You're cute."

"Cute" wasn't exactly at the top of my list of compliments to be called, but after such a nice ending to the horrible start of our evening, could I really complain? He could have called me as cute as a button, and I honestly don't think that I would have cared. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

Still snickering at my supposed "cuteness", Levi slid off of the bed and rounded the corner of the mattress, making his way over to his bureau. What was he doing? Was he going to get changed? Suddenly, a pair of pajama bottoms were being tossed at my face, and if the case of deja vu wasn't enough to get me, the embarrassment surely would have.

"You should change into those," Levi suggested. He probably found it odd that I was just now putting together the fact that I hadn't been wearing pants during the entirety of our flirtatious fling. Boxers, yes, but those hardly counted.

Slipping into them with a speed that was faster than the one Levi had used to rip his jeans off of me, I pulled on the drawstrings and tightened the elastic band around my waist. My state of relaxation had fled just as rapidly as it had made itself known, and now that Levi was adding to my shame by stripping himself down and changing into something more comfortable himself, I was beginning to wonder just how on Earth I'd actually been able to feel calm in the first place.

"Hey, Eren?"

Having been somewhere in a mind of my own, Levi's voice snapped me out of my conflicted daydream almost instantaneously. "Yes?"

I watched him draw closer, walking back over to the side of the bed. Instead of climbing on top, he chose to rest his hands upon the firm mattress beneath him. It was a pose that gave him just as much presence as any other. "You know, you don't have to be so nervous around me," Levi whispered, and I immediately listened. "I get it, okay? I may not remember our past, or even my own past for that matter, but that doesn't change the fact that  _you_ loved me and  _you_  had feelings for me. Actually, you still do. So, check me out all you want to. I really don't care."

And he couldn't have been any more right. My love for him, as mentioned earlier, was that very small, flickering flame that had never died. All of this time, I'd been working so hard, fanning it and tending to it, keeping the emotion alive.

I couldn't deny it, and there was no way in which I could hide it, either, so why not just own up to my feelings? Not only that, but Levi had actually heard me speaking to Hange about it once. Stating something along the lines of always loving him, yeah, that was me, and I had been the one to say that. One doesn't just forget those kinds of things.

"You're right, Levi," and again, I felt myself crawling along the verge of tears. If I knew what was good for me, however, I would learn to suppress them. Becoming an angel sure had a way of turning me into a softy. "I do."

Studying Levi's face, I was able to see a shift in his expression. It looked as if there was something he was looking for, something that he wanted, and as his eyes returned to mine, I had to guess that whatever it was, he wanted it from me. "Can I hear you say the words?"

Shocked beyond all reason, my eyes grew wide, and gradually, my limbs began to fidget. Could I say the words? Sure, I'd said them enough to know how they went and in what order to put them, but there was something too special about them, something in the way that they required a very exact response that guided me to make up my mind.

Edging closer to Levi by moving on all fours, when I was near enough, I rested my hands on top of his own. The weight beneath our pressure caused the mattress to dip even further, but that wasn't what was on my mind at the moment. All I could think about was how lucky and cursed I was.

"I'm sorry, but I won't say them until you can say them back to me."

It was a fair deal, and by the nod of Levi's head, I could tell that he thought so, too. Why rush something so special? If I was going to confess my love, I wanted to do it right. As guilty as I may have felt, Levi and I would just have some more waiting to do.

 

* * *

 

By the time Levi and I had settled, and all nightly routines were complete, sleep was the most desired item on both of our lists. From perching myself on the edge of the bed to sleeping beside Levi, now, he and I were trying something entirely different.

Though our round of romance had been great, the events of our evening prior still left ugly scars on both my physicality and my mentality. Without explanation, this made me want to be as close to Levi as possible, and if that included welcoming him into my wing tent, than so be it.

I sat with my legs straight forward and spread at half of an angle. The small space was enough for Levi to squeeze himself into, and although our position wasn't ideal for getting the best night's sleep, it would have to do. Besides, neither of us felt that we'd be getting very much rest in any way otherwise.

"Are you comfortable?" I asked, wrapping my arms around Levi's chest in the process. If my wings weren't worthy enough to protect him, my arms surely would be.

"Yeah, kind of."

There was a drop of honesty that was missing from his response, which made me feel inclined to further question, "What can I do to make you more comfortable, Levi?" If Levi was uncomfortable, I would be, too. I would do anything, even if that meant sleeping on my back, to change that.

"It's just," he sighed, having difficulty supplying truth to his answer. "I kind of want to...ugh, but I probably can't."

"What?" I prompted. "What is it?"

With a heavy sigh, Levi finally gave in, telling me the true answer that I had been looking for. "I kind of want to sleep in your wing. It's so soft and...stuff. Yeah, but that probably sounds really stupid, so forget that I even said anything."

Nothing like that could have sounded stupid, especially when it was pertaining to such a sweet topic. "No, Levi, I'm not going to forget it," I said, already in the midst of changing our position. "Here, make yourself comfortable."

Spreading my good wing for him to rest himself in whichever way he wanted to, I took a moment to mentally process just how much we'd been through in the course of a single day, not even mentioning our other days on top of it all. Levi was right. Life sure did have a habit of happening fast.

Now that Levi was comfortably cuddling into my feathers, cursing the Heavens for just how soft they were, it finally felt right to be able to relax. No more awkwardness, no more secrets, and no more surprises; that's just how we liked it.

No more surprises, though. Yeah, right.

About an hour after Levi had fallen asleep, and when I was just getting ready to join him, a blinding light shot throughout his bedroom, startling me to my core. Piercing my irises as I tried to get a better sense of what was going on, I instinctively grabbed onto Levi and held him close, a sudden disturbance that forced him to wake up.

Before either of us had the chance to even wonder what the Hell was going on, the light had faded, and standing before us was a sight so incredible, so  _beautiful_ , that I had to blink twice in order to believe what I was seeing.

"Historia," I whispered. "What are you doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Personally, I'm not very fond of the holiday, but you all got some fluffy Eren/Levi as your treat! You guys certainly deserved it for putting up with me for so long, so I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read, and look at that there, we've got another cliffhanger on our hands! (:
> 
> \- Chappy
> 
> P.S. As a side note, I have to dedicate this chapter to the ever-wonderful p-jean. Not only has she been a close friend of mine for almost four years now, but she and I made a promise that any chapter where Levi and Eren kissed, it would be dedicated to her. So, hanny, this one is for you. Happy Valentine's Day. (:
> 
> P.P.S Check out her story! She's currently writing a fanfic called "Spinning The Flags Of Freedom" (and it's super amazing, like, oh my gosh). I'm sure she would appreciate the love!


	17. Perplexity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of questions, lots of answers.

I began to regret everything.

The secrets, the confessions, the sweet kisses that still burned against my skin and lingered upon my lips; was all of it a mistake? It sure didn't feel like one in the heat of the moment. But now, with the result of my actions staring me right in the face, I began to wonder, and I began to think. Was Historia here because of me and because of my "wrong doings", or was she here for another, less obvious reason? I needed to know. I asked her again. "Historia, what are-"

"Sleep."

In that instant, I felt Levi's weight shift. His body fell limp against my arm, and all awareness that he had previously possessed was gone. Like Historia had requested, he was asleep.

That didn't sit well with me at all, but I was sure that this entire scenario didn't sit well with her, either. My wing, it was missing half of its feathers. My leg, which was currently out of her sights, it was bandaged and sore. Surprisingly enough, I'd been able to forget all about my injuries and the subtle pain that was caused by them. It must have been because, for the past handful of minutes or so, my mind was filled with everything and nothing but Levi, both past and present.

I watched her - more like I focused on her - as she slowly rounded the corner of Levi's bed. Her eyes were on mine, locked and loaded, but instead of looking as if she were about to crucify me for my actions (did she even know what I did? What  _we_  did?), she came across as horribly concerned.

"Eren...what  _happened_?"

Well, that was a question that proposed a multitude of answers. First of all, I didn't even have a full understanding of why Historia was here in the first place. If I wanted to give her the best answer possible - meaning if I wanted to keep myself in the clear of her wrath - she would have to answer my question before I answered hers. It was only fair, right?

"You...didn't answer my question," I muttered, almost ashamed of speaking back to her. Bringing more light to it all, I had every right to be as inquisitive as I was. Historia, whom I thought I wouldn't be seeing ever again (or at least not any time soon), comes waltzing into Levi's apartment, his  _bedroom_ , like something straight out of a sci-fi movie, and I'm supposed to be okay with that? Seriously, the way she teleported from God knows where was so cliche that it was almost unbelievable that it had even happened. And yet, it made me incredibly jealous. Why didn't I have powers like that? Maybe I did, and maybe I just haven't discovered them yet. So far, my only discovery was that I had a knack for being able to keep Levi's hands warm.

What was really unnerving to me was another power that Historia had just expressed having: her ability to force humans into comatose. Although useful at times, I'm sure, the fact that she made Levi fall asleep just by telling him to do so was frightening. What was she thinking? What didn't she want him to hear? Why was she  _here_?

I followed her eyes as they flickered from my eyes to my wing and back again. Her gaze hesitated on Levi; back to me, and back to him. I wouldn't have wanted to be inside of her head right now. It was probably an absolute mess, but hey, so was mine.

"As a caretaker angel," she began, voice wavering, eyes still flickering, "it is my duty to ensure the safety of all of the angels whom we help hatch. Seeing as it's been a nearly a week since you've left Maria, I figured it would be a good idea to pay you a visit and make sure that you found your guarded human properly and that everything is alright." There was a brief pause in her speech, as her eyes found mine again. "Honestly, I have no idea what I'm seeing right now. I mean, this is,  _that_  is...it's Levi, right? Eren, what's going on here?"

Basically, what Historia was saying was that she was only preforming her angelic duty of checking up on me, making sure that I was doing alright, and she ended up stumbling upon me like this? Boy, did I have a story to tell her. "I'll tell you," I responded, "but I want you to tell me something else first."

"Yes?" Her tone was antsy, probably a factor of my stalling.

"Why did you force him to fall asleep?"

Historia began to fidget. "I panicked, mostly." It was an honest answer; I could tell from just her body language alone. The way that her fingers clenched and how the muscles in her face seemed to gravitate downward, both of these things were telltale signs that she was owning up to her guilt. "I hadn't expected to see what I had seen, and having the both of you wake up had never been my intention." Truth is, I had never actually fallen asleep, but really, who  _wouldn't_  have woken up with her choice of entry? "My body reacted before my mind, and then actually seeing him, the same  _him_  that you've been craving to protect ever since you took your first flight, never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined it to be  _Levi_ , and so I panicked. Eren, please don't be angry with me. I've never had to deal with humans having the ability to see me before. He'll wake up soon, I promise, otherwise, I can wake him up by my own hand."

That still didn't make complete sense to me, but I'd let it slide for now. We needed to talk about a few things, and my well-being was clearly the most obvious at the moment.

When Historia began to speak again, asking the same question that she'd already asked three times now, I held my hand up to her, ceasing any further output. It was my turn to answer, so I would. "Let me start from the beginning."

There was so much that needed to be discussed, and yet, even though I stated that I would start from, well, the  _beginning_ , I didn't exactly know where that was. Should I start from the  _very_  beginning - as in, when I first reunited with Levi - or should I only recount all of the events of this night prior? Making my conclusion, I figured it would be best if my response was composed of a little bit of both. "Obviously, this isn't what you expected to see; it's not what I expected, either. Out of all of the people in the world, out of all of the  _hes_ and  _hims_ , the countries, the nations, I really didn't think that the person I would be protecting, the person that I would devote my life to all over again, would be Levi. You know, it's funny to think about it, because as much as this entire thing is confusing and practically impossible, it makes sense. It makes so much sense..." I paused, thoughtful. "There's no one I'd rather dedicate myself to,  _offer my_   _heart_  to, and something in our ties of our fate must have foreseen that."

I hadn't meant to sound so preachy, but for whatever reason, whenever I spoke about Levi, it was as if I wore all of my emotions on my sleeves. I could only imagine how silly it must have been for Historia to hear me blabbering about my affections for him, when I really should have just gotten to the point. Too many years of not even being able to speak his name must have done this to me.

I felt the mattress dip very slightly, as Historia sat down more toward the center of Levi's bed. She folded her legs politely beneath her backside, minding her elegant dress in the process. I had to give credit where credit was due; she seemed to be handling this entire event much calmer than I would have. She was patient and lenient with the time it took for me to answer, which I couldn't have been more grateful for. Although, I had to wonder how she would react if she had known that Levi and I had just finished having a small kissing session. Yeah, for now, I'd keep quiet about that.

"That's very sweet, Eren," Historia sighed. After closing her eyes, she breathed outwardly again. Maybe her patience wasn't as potent as I had originally thought. "But please, continue. I want to know more about your arrival here, and left you with a damaged wing."

Nodding, I refocused my thoughts. I told her about my search for Levi, how I still didn't even know that  _he_  was the one I was looking for. I told her how when I'd finally found him, I had crash-landed and lost my consciousness. Historia didn't seem too concerned about that. She associated it with having a sensory overload of sorts, something not at all uncommon when guardian angels first laid eyes on their humans. It made me feel a little bit more normal, like I wasn't some rare oddity that had all of these weird symptoms and side effects. And speaking of side effects, "Hey, I'm going to go off on a bit of a tangent here, but now that you're here, this is something that I really need to ask you about."

"Oh, alright," Historia said, agreeing to let the topic of my wing slide for just a little bit longer. She straightened her posture and gave me her one-hundred and ten percent. "What is it?"

Rubbing the back of my neck, I tried to think of the best way to formulate my thoughts into a question. Just as I was about to speak, Levi's body curled against my good wing. I felt him exhale deeply, his warm breath dancing along the side of my neck. It made me to shudder. "I, uh..." Wow, there went my composure. "I wanted to ask you about something that's been happening with my eyes."

"Oh!" And with the way that Historia had said that, it made me realize that she knew exactly what my question was about to be. Actually, no more word planning on my part was necessary, because she ended up taking the words right out of my mouth. "Have they been changing colors?"

"Yes!" I gasped, almost a bit too loudly. Awkwardly, I cleared my throat and tried again, and this time, I spoke in a much softer tone. "Yes. Levi mentioned something about my eyes changing into this golden-yellow color, and how my face starts to get red when it happens. Earlier today, I was able to witness it happening for myself. I really want to know what it means..."

Talking about Levi in normal conversation was still visibly unusual for Historia and it showed in how her response had faltered. "Levi's the one who noticed it happening first? Okay, just to make sure this minor change is happening for the reason that I think it's happening, let me get something straight first. When he first mentioned seeing your face and eyes looking differently, what were you feeling? Can you remember?"

So much had happened this evening that it was hard to remember anything other than the most obvious events: protecting Levi from Ymir, having my wound cleaned and dressed, kissing Levi. Just now, placing all of those things together in my head, it allowed me to realize something else: did Historia have any idea that Ymir was the one to blame for my condition (if anything, she probably thought my wing was the result of a flying incident)? Did she have any idea that Ymir was even  _here_? That she was a  _ghost_? No, she probably didn't. She was virtually clueless and she wouldn't know anything until I opened my mouth and told her.

When the time came, would I be brave enough to do so?

"I remember feeling...really angry," I said. After putting some more thought into it, I added, "It first occurred after I learned something deeply painful that I'd rather not think about right now." There was no need to relive Armin's death all over again. I felt like I'd been able to find a neutral state of mind about it, that I, more than anyone, was able to understand the common cycle of dying and being reborn again. Having to actually verbalize that, though, it wasn't something that I was currently up for. "I remember feeling really shocked and upset, but anger was the most poignant sensation."

Historia's head tilted up and down, nodding in complete understanding. "Yup. I definitely know what's causing your change, then." I saw her gaze leave mine for a brief moment, and I watched her eyes scan the expanse of my leg. With her thin eyebrows pulling into a furrow, she eased forward and took a light hold of the pajama bottoms that Levi had offered to me. Lifting them by the hem, what she saw made her gasp, and it made me unintentionally wince.

I carefully withdrew my leg from her, saying, "I promise I'll tell you what happened." Held by my word, there was no way for me to back out on explaining it to her later. For my sake, as well as Levi's, I really needed her to answer me first. "Please continue what you were about to say."

Seeming far more interested in my leg than in my curiosity, Historia refused to take her eyes off of my wound, even after it was once again covered by the fluffy flannel of the pajama pants. Breathing through her nose, she spoke to my shin, not to me. "What you're experiencing is an influx of what angels have been referring to for years as 'human-based emotions'. Anger and sadness, hatred and love; all of those feelings and emotions serve little purpose in an angel's body. Yes, we commonly sense these feelings quite regularly, but whenever they're expressed in an excessive amount, our bodies begin to make a show of it. Pretty much, it's like the human equivalent to a blush. It happens absolutely involuntarily."

That was...really interesting, actually. "So basically, whenever I'm feeling things too much like a human would, my eyes are going turn golden?"

"Gold, blue, grey; it all depends on what and how you're feeling. The only intense emotion you've experience thus far has been anger, correct?"

I nodded. "Anger and annoyance, yes."

"Well then, there you go. Your physical response to other emotions may differ from how you handle your sense of anger."

Upon hearing Historia explain the nature of my being in such a way, I began to grow a tad concerned. "Are these reactions dangerous? Like, is it unhealthy that I'm harboring these feelings?"

Historia shook her head, and her shoulders even began to shake slightly with comfortable laughter. "No, they're not dangerous, Eren, but it is important to remember your place. You're an angel, not a human. It's a bit difficult for Marian angels, most of which were born from human souls, to get used to the change in authority, but you're just starting out. You still have time to develop."

It was a good thing to know that there was no rush, that I still had plenty of time to learn. Not only that, but I also had the ever understanding Levi by my side. He endorsed the idea of having me be myself. Even if my emotions were to slip, it wouldn't be incredibly detrimental to my angelic status, would it? No, but it would probably still freak him out.

"Now, Eren," Historia said, as she twirled a small strand of her longer-than-remembered hair, "I know we keep beating around the bush here, but it's just that far too much has happened in the very short amount of time that you've been here." I couldn't agree with her more. I was actually surprised that my head was still screwed on right. "There's something else I would like to ask you, and it has nothing to do with your physical status."

I couldn't blame Historia for feeling all over the place. Neither of us could stress enough just how unique of a situation this was. Levi, my past life lover, was my guarded human. How  _crazy_  was that? And given that I wasn't moaning and groaning in pain, I'm pretty sure it was through a mutual agreement that no matter how intrigued she was to know what happened, it could wait. And on my part, knowing that my inflictions were directly related to someone so close to Historia, possibly even closer than Levi and I had the chance to ever become, it was probably best to hold off on bringing up any mentions of Ymir.

"Go head," I said quietly. Levi had once again shifted very slightly, and if I had any intention of saving him from having to succumb to another one of Historia's sleeping spells, I'd need to keep still and keep my voice to a minimum.

Just as she knew what I was about to ask when it came to my eyes, I knew that her question must have been directly centered around Levi; and I was more than positive that I could pull the words right out of her mouth like she had pulled them out of mine.

"Eren, does Levi possess the memories of his past lives?"

And there it was, just like I had suspected.

With Levi leaning against me, cuddled into my wing, it would more than likely shock Historia to know that no, other than what I'd told him, he didn't know anything other than the life he lived today. "No." It was like a needle to the heart to say that. "No, he doesn't remember anything."

"Oh. Well, that's good. I think it's best to keep it that way."

Wait, what? What did she mean that it would be best to keep it that way? I mean, sure, I thought the same thing before this evening, too, but why did she have to say it so certainly?

"...Wait, what do you mean?"

I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when Historia's attention had returned to my face, but now that I was able to witness her watchful eyes on mine, she looked like what I'd just inquired had left her immensely confused.

"Eren, I'm sure even you can see how having anything other than a platonic relationship between a guardian angel and a human could become very complex. Am I saying that angels have never fallen in love with their humans before? No, I'm not. Actually, it's ridiculously easy for guardian angels to fall in love. You spend all hours of the day watching over and protecting a practically oblivious human being. But you know what makes everyone else different from you?" Again, I already knew what she was going to say. "You are one of the now  _three_  amazingly rare cases where your guarded human can see you. And really, one of those reported cases wasn't even through an angel and a guarded human at all. They had merely been seen for a second and no more by one of the humans that they had previously shared a lifetime with."

Swallowing back at an esophageal lump that had unknowingly begun to form, I momentarily found myself at a loss of words. Just as I said, however, that moment of silence was just that: a moment. "And what if he were to find out? What if I were to tell him all about the past and all about everything we used to have? About everything we used to be?"

Historia's eyes slipped closed, lovely and long eyelashes fluttering against the higher bones of her cheeks. What could be termed as my defiance was probably starting to annoy her. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Eren," she breathed. "If that's you're choice, it's not like there are any laws permitting you from how you choose to establish your relationship with your guarded human. However, I'd really like for you to heed my warning when I say that it will be easiest - for both you and for Levi - if you refrained from trying to relive your past."

Something told me that Historia was only taking a short pause and that she had more to say, so I remained quiet and attentive. I was right. "I know it's hard for you to hear this," she continued, "and I know everything I'm telling you are all things that you've undoubtedly already thought about on your own, but listening to someone from a different point of view may be of help to you. Eren, generations upon generations of reincarnations have weathered your souls, and modern civilization has caused you to grow accustom to the contemporary reform. What I'm trying say is-"

"The Levi that I fell in love with back then may very well not be the same as the man sleeping in my wing right now." I felt bad for interjecting, but I didn't need to hear her anymore. I was taking a risk, and I knew that, but it was  _my_ risk to take, not hers. Could I end up heartbroken? Absolutely, but my heart wasn't my only obligation anymore, and quite frankly, I don't think it ever was.

My devotion would still stand; I would do anything and everything if it meant the best for Levi.

"That's right, Eren," Historia murmured, her gentle voice pairing with a smile to match. "I know you'll do what's best for Levi, I've never doubted that for a second. Just be sure to do what's best for you, too."

"I'll try." It wasn't a lie, I  _would_  try, but if it came down to the wire, where it would end up being either Levi's well-being or mine, I think it's fairly obvious which route I would pick. "Thank you, Historia."

She nodded, and while the air felt light-hearted and the subject of my injuries hadn't made its full circle back into the conversation yet, I felt it might be quite amusing for me to add, "Oh, and by the way, Levi doesn't live alone."

"I beg your pardon?" she questioned.

"It's random, I know, but I thought you might find it kind of interesting to know that Levi isn't the only one who can see me. His two roommates can, too. And his boss. Oh, and this little girl and her brother that I saw, but to be fair, the boy didn't actually look in my direction."

If Historia thought I was a rare case before, she'd definitely think much more of me now. "Eren, what are you-?"

"Levi lives with Erwin and Hanji, who is presently a male and is known as Hange, and his boss is Mikasa. Oh, and the two kids I mentioned? Yeah, they were Sasha and Connie." I chose not to mention Armin again. I wanted to stay true to my prior decision of not doing so. In the essence of saving time and in the essence of saving myself from another mighty explanation, I felt it best to let his memory rest in peace.

"Eren, that's-"

I didn't mean to interrupt her again, but talking about something like this was kind of exciting. "Crazy, right? I mean, Hange is the only one who remembers his past lifetimes-" and Armin, "-but just seeing everyone again has been a journey in itself."

Historia sighed through her nose and shook her head. How many times had she done that this evening? More than I bothered to count, apparently. Chuckling softly, I heard her whisper, "You really are one in a billion, do you know that, Eren?"

I almost didn't want to believe, but it was true. A product of perplexity, that was me, even in my on-coming angel years.

"Yeah," I whispered. "I know."

 

* * *

 

For having been the first question out of Historia's mouth from the moment she arrived, it sure took us long enough to get to the answer. Avoidance had been a minor factor on my part, and the desire to know so much more about me and about my journey was all on Historia. Basically, there was just too much to cover all in one sitting, and it was only now making sense to me why she'd put Levi to sleep for all of this. Knowing him and knowing how many questions he liked to have answered for himself, we'd never get anywhere. Our conversation would end up being all Qs with no As. However, now was the time to stop pushing back the inevitable. Historia had to know why I was hurt and who had done it, and I had to know how long it would take to recover.

Saving her the trouble of asking again, I took a deep breath and began my final exposition of the evening. "There had been a story on the news this morning, something about a haunted apartment complex that had been abandoned a few years ago. After learning that supernatural beings such as ourselves exist, Levi grew curious. He wanted to see if another angel had been trapped inside the building, but I strongly advised him not to go. As you can see, he went regardless of my major aversion to the idea, and well..."

The previous calm that had lingered throughout the room had been completely shot at the mention of the word "haunted". From that point on, Historia was alert beyond all reason, and the way in which my voice ended up trailing off only made her all the more anxious. " _Eren_ ," she spoke, stressing both syllables of my name, "what happened?"

This was the part that I hadn't beeng looking forward to since the beginning, and honestly, it had crossed my mind that maybe this was the reason for her arrival in the first place. It's silly how something that was supposed to be nothing more than a harmless check-up visit was starting to spiral downward into a catastrophe.

"The news story had been right; the apartment complex  _was_  haunted. The reason why my wing is missing half of its feathers, and the reason why my leg is all bandaged up, is because I threw myself in front of Levi to protect him from a ghost-"

It startled me, when Historia had gasped and covered her ears. Although I could sympathize with her after first-handedly seeing the disastrous nature of those demonic beings, she hadn't even heard half of what I had to tell her yet. "Historia, I think you should-"

"Eren, what were you  _thinking_?" I could sense a lecture coming on. "Are you  _insane_? Am  _I_  insane? What was I thinking, waiting all of this time to have you tell me what happened? I should have made you tell me from the very moment I saw you like this!" Yup, definitely a lecture that I didn't have the time to hear.

"Historia, wait," I interrupted. Third time's the charm for interruptions, right? Raising one of my hands in an act of defense, I said, "I haven't told you the most important part-"

Apparently, Historia was a master of interjections as well. "These wounds, you got them because of... You got them from a...?"

"A  _ghost_ , yes," I groaned, "but Historia, there's something else I need to-"

"Eren." For not being the center of attention for quite some time, my wounds sure were taking a hold of the spotlight now. "If these injuries are from what you say they're from, there's a definite chance that they're  _never_  going to heal."

Wow. I didn't even have to ask.

Never: that was the word she had used, and that was the word I had been most fearful of. Never having my wing back to its full capacity, never being able to fly quite the same way as before, never being able to rid myself of the gaping gash that was in my leg. All of these thoughts only made the pain that I'd been ignoring present itself once again. There was a throbbing in my leg and an ache in the edge of my wing, but my need for knowledge still outweighed both heightened discomforts. "Am I going to be alright?" I breathed, a question that I needed answered not for my sake, but for Levi's. I needed to be there for him, and if this foolish mistake was going to interfere with that, I had no idea what I would do. "Am I going to get worse?"

"You're not going to get  _worse_ , Eren," there was subtle irritation in her tone, "but you're not going to get  _better_ , either. At least, I don't think so. I don't know. We're not supposed to be talking about this."

Oh, but we  _had_  to talk about this. Because of the chaos in how we conversed, time and time again, I failed to mention the final piece of the puzzle that would throw Historia over the edge. It almost made me wonder if telling her was the humane thing to do. Even if it wasn't, she needed to know.

Putting all thoughts about myself aside, and how after only a handful of day that I may or may not even have the chance to protect Levi to my fullest extent anymore, I looked directly into Historia's blissfully blue eyes and completed the jigsaw. "The ghost was Ymir."

Terror, fear, horror, panic: all of these negative emotions at once with no way to properly filter them. Eyes that had been blue only a few seconds ago were now a vibrant, emerald shade of green. They looked to the right, then to the left, when finally they were back on me. "Eren, that's impossible."

Either she didn't want to believe me, or she still needed proof. "Historia, she was crying for you."

"No, Eren. That's  _impossible_." Brown. Her eyes had turned brown.

My grip on Levi was steady, when I insisted, "I'm pretty sure the only reason why she tried to hurt Levi was because she was so distraught about not being able to be with you."

"Eren, there's no-"

"Why? Why is it impossible, Historia?" I was starting to get fed up with her persistent disbelief in what I was trying to tell her. Why couldn't she just trust me? I had absolutely no reason to lie to her about something like this, and in reality, I had no reason to lie to her about anything.

Making their third - and what I could predict to be their final - transformation of this emotional roller coaster ride, Historia's eyes met mine. Instantly, my heart dropped. Their once vivacious color had faded into a shade that was duller than burnt ashes, when she spoke the words that I hadn't even been expecting to hear.

"It's impossible, Eren, because I'm the one who guided Ymir's spirit to Hell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here! 
> 
> Wow, this chapter ended up being much longer than expected, but gosh, I really enjoyed writing it. Just the same, I hope you all enjoyed reading it, too!
> 
> Cliffhangers. Cliffhangers galore. They're fabulous, yes? No?
> 
> Finally, as always, thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	18. Blushing Bride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Choices have been made and there is nothing to regret.

"Historia, what are you...?" What did she mean? She was the one who guided Ymir's spirit to Hell? Obviously her guidance hadn't gone entirely as planned, but how was any of this even possible? No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't wrap my head around the ideas of any it. "Why was Ymir...what do you-?"

"Where is she?" Suddenly, there was a sense of irrationality in her character, and judging by her tone alone, I could tell that she wanted an answer. There was no beating around the bush this time. This one needed to be immediate.

"I, uh..." Of course, my inexperience in situations such as this one had left me with a stammer. "Huh?"

"Where  _is_  she?" Historia repeated, and this time, she had sounded anything but angelic. A mild aggression that was paired with her undoubted worry made up the components of her inquiry. I wouldn't allow myself to mess my answer up a second time.

"She's in the abandoned apartment complex that I was talking about from before. At least, I think she's still there. When she was trying to chase after Levi and me, it didn't seem like she could-"

"But where  _is_ that, Eren? Where is it?"

Oh, duh. Clearly, Historia wouldn't know the lay out of the land that she knew so very little about, but how could I even begin to explain something like that to her? She didn't even know the nearby landmarks. "It's not too far from here," I answered, because it was the best that I felt I could do. "If you were to fly, it would probably take you about five minutes to get there."

From her eager expression, I could tell that flying was out of the question. Everything had happened so fast that I hardly had a chance to process any of it before it was over. In a flash, the very same flash that had stirred up all of this madness, Historia was no longer present. She was gone.

As I sat there, both physically fatigued and mentally motivated, I had to wonder a few things. What was Historia capable of doing with Ymir? Was it even possible for her to bring Ymir back to Hell? How did any of that stuff even work? Just how did any of this  _angel_  stuff even work? I was seriously beginning to doubt everything I'd previously known or been taught, everything other than my purpose, my goal.

Speaking of purposes, mine had just made a particularly pleased sigh in his sleep. It warmed me to know that he was relaxed, even if it had been by an act of force. If anyone deserved to have the best night's sleep of their entire life, it was Levi. Although appearing to be drastically unfazed by the entire thing, he'd been through the mill and back this evening, and I wanted nothing more than for him to have his rest.

And why not join him?

Although I wouldn't be getting nearly as much sleep as Levi, it was better to be fairly fatigued the next morning than utterly consumed by my desire for unconsciousness, right? Well, I thought so at least.

Inhaling deeply, a wasted effort that was to try and settle my swarming thoughts, I allowed my arms the permission to constrict around Levi, pulling him closer for comfort. So as to not wake him up, I timed myself carefully, only tightening my arms in intervals. With my heart pressed against his, our breathing causing our chests to rise and fall in unmatched unison, I'd been able to find my solace...for about fifteen minutes.

Just as my awareness began to slip, Levi's incoherent babble brought me right back to the surface. He was muttering something against the fabric of my shirt, having the meaning muffled. I was curious, there was no doubt about that, but if past experience made me knowledgable of anything, he was probably just having another dream about our past that he wouldn't end up remembering in the morning. If only I could just grasp the gist of it...

I had been certain that Levi would have murmured something else (he always did), maybe a name or something of relevance, but when he surprisingly didn't, and when five more minutes had passed, I gave up on the effort of trying to search for something that wasn't there and decided to give falling asleep one more go. This time, it actually worked.

 

* * *

 

As per usual, I was the first to rise. There was no way of telling what the hour was, given that Levi's blackout curtains were pulled tightly against the curtain rod. I could have looked at his alarm clock, there was no doubt about that, but I didn't feel like moving; the heaviness against my chest felt too good to do so.

I loved knowing that Levi had slept in my arms for the entire night. It made me feel like I was actually doing something right, like I wasn't pushing any boundaries. Thinking of boundaries, I wondered what Levi would have to say about what happened last night. Would he ask me to forget, or had he forgotten it all on his own. Something in the way that he began to wriggle made me realize that I'd be getting my answer much sooner than expected.

I had known that Levi wasn't a morning person, but this morning took the cake. Typically, the first words out of someone's mouth upon awakening were either, "Good morning," or "How did you sleep?" For Levi, it was an expletive.

"Good morning to you, too," I murmured, the sound of it vibrating low in my throat.

Upon hearing his sigh, I felt Levi stretch. Not minding that I was in the picture, his shoulders pushed back against my form, while his extremities flexed and curled. Everything was waking up, but his mind must have been sorely late to the party, otherwise he would have come to terms with what he was doing to me. "You seem tired. Maybe you should go back to sleep."

"Hmm?" He was still stretching, but his eyes were open and looking around. The first thing he caught a glimpse of was his alarm clock, the same alarm clock that I'd neglected to look at myself. "Geez, it's already noon?"

"Wait, what?" Instantly, I was looking with him. Yes, he was right indeed. 12:04PM, it was right there, displayed in bright, linear numbers. Not only did that mean that Levi and I had actually gotten a decent amount of sleep, but it also meant that he was on the verge of being late for work, and not the good kind of late.

It was a dramatic sight watching Levi roll out of my arms and toward the center of his bed, the very same spot that Historia had been sitting in what felt like only minutes ago. Just thinking about her made me feel anxious. Was she serious about wanting to know where Ymir was? If she ended up finding her, what would she even do?

"Hey."

"Oh, yes?" The sound of Levi's voice had pulled me right out of my thoughts, probably for good reason, too. If I knew him - which I liked to think that I did - he had a question that needed answering.

"Before I start getting ready for work and all of that crap, can I ask you something?"

Yeah, I'm just that good. "Of course, Levi. What is it?"

Unmoving, Levi's eyes were on the ceiling, his back flat against the mattress. There was a lull in speech, which allowed me just enough time to start anticipating his question. Honestly, I had a feeling what it would be, but until he was the one to speak it, I couldn't rightfully assume.

"Last night, we kissed, didn't we?"

It was almost surreal how answering questions such as that one had only recently become like a second nature to me. Secrecy was a thing of the past; it didn't exist between us anymore. It was a weight off of my shoulders, that was for sure. Ah, no damaged wing joke intended, I swear.

"Yes, we did," I said, watching for his physical response just as much, if not more than his verbal. "Quite a few times, actually. Do you remember?"

"I do," he replied. He turned his attention to me, when he heard me sigh. "What, did you  _want_  me to forget? That's kind of harsh, don't you think?"

"No, no!" I quickly intervened. "I didn't mean-"

"Eren, I'm kidding. I know that's not what you meant." He rolled over onto his stomach. "I just wanted to make sure that it was something that actually happened and I'm not imaging it."

I wasn't sure I followed what he was trying to say. How could a memory so vivid be the product of his own mind? "No, you weren't imagining it..." I don't know why my voice began to waver toward the end of my sentence, but it did. Never one to miss a beat, Levi had picked up on it.

"Yeah, I didn't think so."

There it was again, that uncomfortable silence that wafted around the room and ate away at our conversation. Our ages really shined through in moments like this.

Being the first to ask such a difficult question, one that I wasn't even sure I wanted the answer to, was quite a stretch of my bravery. Swallowing my anxiety like it was a pill, I sucked in my gut and whispered just four little words that could have had the potential to ruin my day.

"Do you regret it?"

Levi's eyes never once left mine, and there was sincerity in that that put me at ease. Even if his answer wasn't favorable, even if he regretted every second of it, I'd still have the pleasure of knowing that he was telling me nothing but the truth.

The pauses that rested between not just our questions and answers, but our regular responses as well, made me feel like we were actors in a soap opera, trained in the art of suspense. It brought me back to that entire philosophy of how all of the world's a stage, all of its people merely players. Levi and I, we were the stars.

"I regret a lot of things, Eren," he began. There was a heaviness in his voice that made me wonder just how far back his feelings of regret went. "I've made some stupid decisions in my life, but I think it's fair to say that's the same for everyone. Hell, I'll probably even regret dropping out of college someday, too. But you know what?"

Typically, when people ended a statement with "but you know what", there was an optimistic answer waiting around the bend. Sitting in a slouch this entire time, just the notion of something positive drew me into awareness. "What?"

Levi's expression was something that was just about as sensual as my memories could possess. Was he taunting me? It was a possibility, but whatever the case, his look had been the perfect companion to go hand-in-hand with his concluding words.

"Although I'm not quite sure how we allowed ourselves to go as far as we did," he whispered, "I can honestly say that kissing you, yeah, it was a choice that I don't think I'll ever regret."

 

* * *

 

Levi finally got off of his bed, and as he went about his daily routine of showering, getting dressed, and doing his hair, I was left in the company of my thoughts. It was beyond comforting to know that Levi wasn't regretful of our kiss, well,  _kisses_ , and it made me want to revoke all previous thoughts of repentance that I'd had for myself. When I really reflected on it, however, I was able to understand that I only felt the way that I did, because I didn't want for Levi to be placed in any sort of uncomfortable situation... That, and I was almost certain that Historia had come here in order to brutally punish the both of us.

After Levi had finished combing through his hair and applying just the right amount of gel to it, he nodded his head at me, a signal that we were ready to go.

"Levi, wait."

"Hm?" Just as he was about to grab his keys, he turned to look back at me. "What is it?"

Rocking on my heels, I took a moment to organize my response. "Well, actually, it's two things. The first is that I'm still wearing your pajama bottoms, and the second was another question."

"That's not really a big deal, Eren," he sighed, referring to the pajamas. "It's not like anyone can see-okay, forget that. Come on."

I felt bad that Levi had to rush around his room to search for something else that I could wear, and given that our sizes were pretty different from one another, it wasn't easy to find another pair of pants that fit me. Finally, a stripped pair of pajamas and some white-wash jeans later, we were out the door.

Jogging down the stairwell of the complex, Levi nearly faltered at the unexpected sight of my dried up blood. Not surprisingly, it was still there, and it had left small, spotted stains on the steps. Seeing as no one other than he and I (and Hange, and Erwin, etc.) could see them, they would be left uncleaned. It made me wonder if Levi would end up breaking out a scrub and a sponge after his shift at the salon. He probably would.

"Hey, what was your second question, by the way?" Levi asked, deliberately meeting my gaze as we walked side by side on the pavement.

My eyes went wide with shock. Was Levi, was he actually talking to me? In  _public_? He'd  _never_  done that before. Seriously, he had always pulled out that piece of crap cell phone to make a show of talking to me that way. What changed?

"Um, hello?" A hand in my face. "Earth to Eren."

"Yeah! Hi!" Wow, I was so lame. "No, um, yeah, I had another question, but I just, you're actually-"

"Yeah, I'm done with that." Shoving his hands into his back pockets, he admitted, "It was kind of a stupid thing to do, really. If people want to stare at me for talking to you, they can. I don't care anymore. I'll still probably try to keep your presence on the down low at the salon, though. I hope that's okay with you."

"Y-yeah! Totally!" I was pretty much beyond lame at this point, but it didn't matter. Something like this, although probably misjudged as simple or minor, meant a lot to me. It was a small step forward, even if I wasn't entirely sure where that step was leading.

"So, your question?"

"Right, uh, okay." Forget about my eyes showing my emotions, my wings had never failed me in doing so before. My good wing, more than my damaged, began to flutter. "Basically, I was just going to ask you if you were okay. Yesterday was kind of...crazy. It didn't leave you with any mental scars, did it?"

At the sound of Levi's scoff, I could pretty much tell that "mental scarring" was nothing I should have been concerned about. "Me?" he asked. "What about  _you_? I should be asking that question to you. You're the one who lost half of your feathers and are walking around with a limp. Seriously, Eren, are  _you_  okay?"

I smiled, and I swear to God, it wasn't forced. "I'm fine, really, I am." I failed to mention that I had no idea whether my wounds would heal or not; I also failed to mention that Historia had paid us - well, me - a visit last night, but I figured that those pieces of information were better left out of the conversation for the time being. I wasn't keeping them a secret, I was just waiting for a better time to talk about things like that is all.

For the rest of Levi's walk, we chatted about random things, things that almost made our relationship feel, dare I say it,  _normal_. We talked about the sky and how particularly blue it looked, and how the cold temperatures seemed to be coming faster and faster by the day. Pretty much, we stuck to the age-old characteristics of small talk, but in our case, it didn't feel unpleasant at all. It actually felt kind of relaxing.

By the time we entered the beauty salon, I think it was safe to say that we were the two most peaceful entities of the bunch. A place that normally had a calming aura, or so I thought, had been reduced to a chaotic mess. Tuffs of hair were flying everywhere, while girls in gowns were whining and pouting their lips for their make-up artists. Looking to Levi to express my horror of the situation, seeing that he was entirely at ease made me wonder if this sort of thing happened often.

"It's showtime!" he cheered, throwing his hands into the air, and that was the moment that I'd known I had lost him.

It never stopped being weird to watch Levi do his thing. Seeing his hips sway when he walked, how he had acquired a totally different tongue of speech, it really made me ponder why he hadn't chosen acting to be his calling. He was one of the best that I'd ever seen.

I stepped into the fray, minding all of the beautifying products that were being tossed around like hot cakes, and tried to decipher what was going on. Taking a good look at all of the girls once more, I was able to notice something right off the bat: they were all wearing the same dress. Only minor differences made each dress unique, but from my knowledge of fashion and girly things of the like (which was very limited), I could only guess that all of these young women were bridesmaids and that they were getting their hair and make-up done for a wedding.

"Where's the bride?" I heard Levi call out. How did he get all the way across the room with so much ease? I could literally  _faze_  through people and I was having more trouble than him.

"She's in the back with Mikasa!" a co-stylist shouted back. "I think she's just about done! These girls need to go, go, go!"

"When's the wedding?" A wedding. I was right.

"It starts at three o'clock, and honey, they are going to be  _so_  late if we don't get them on their way, like, right now!"

"Mhm, got it. I'll go see if the bride is done yet."

Levi needn't make a single move, because just as he had finished saying that, out from the back came a beautiful vision of white. With russet blonde hair that just barely dusted her shoulders, the bride-to-be looked absolutely stunning...and a tad familiar.

Well, crap.

Tripping over myself in an effort to hide somewhere,  _anywhere_ , I received a sideways look of confusion from Levi in the process. Why did this always happen to me? Why me and only me? Why did I have to be that one in a billion rarity that always had to deal with this nonsense?

"Sweetie, baby cakes!" I heard one of the stylists coo, and thank God it hadn't been Levi. "You look too precious to be giving yourself away like this!"

"Heh, thanks..."

From beneath the front counter, I was able to see Levi strutting his way over to the bride. He wore a serious expression, and for a second, I feared that he'd fallen out of his character. "No, no,  _no_. Sweetheart, look at you." Nope. Still in character. "You're just a baby. Why are you getting married so young?"

I saw her fidget at the question; she must have heard it so many times before.

"Because, well..."

Levi shook his head. "Mm-mm, no. Hun, I need you to look at me." She followed his request. Batting her bold eyelash extensions, the bride met his gaze with concern. "Now, tell me, sweetie, do you love this man that you're going to marry?" She nodded. "No, I need you to answer me with words."

She swallowed. "Yes..."

"Tell me that you love him."

"...I love-"

"Smile when you speak. It's your wedding day." Wow, since when had Levi gotten so serious about love? Maybe he'd seen this far too many times before, brides that are way too young to be throwing their lives away.

With further coaxing from her bridesmaids, as well as the surrounding hair and make-up stylists, she smiled sweetly and nodded again.

"...I love him. I love him with all of my heart."

"Mm, now that's what I like to hear," Levi hummed, "but be sure to leave some of that heart of yours for yourself, too. If he ends up breaking it, you're going to be left with nothing but a lot of pain. Love yourself just as much as you love him."

"Amen to that, honey!"

"Mmmmm-hm!"

And with that, the chaos was back, but this time, it felt different,  _better_. All of the pressure was gone, because love was in the air. This girl was getting married and she had every right to enjoy it, and who knows? Down the road, hearing those words of wisdom from Levi just may end up helping her.

"Okay, everyone!" one of the bridedmaids shouted. Actually, her dress was significantly different from all of the rest, so she may have been the maid-of-honor. "The limo's here! Let's go, let's go!"

Rushing their way out of the salon, the click-clacks of high heels sounding like the feminine equivalent to a stampede of bulls, the girl's began to disappear one by one. Just when the final bridesmaid and the bride were about exit, another pair of heels - these far more distinctive - were heard stamping down the aisle.

"Petra, wait!" Mikasa had frantically ran over to her, a lacy veil in the both of her hands.

"Oh!" the bride gasped, quickly bowing her head to her make-up stylist as she rested the tiara piece into her hair. "Thank you so much! Gosh, I can't believe I almost forgot it."

"Don't mention it." Mikasa's tone had been harsh, but what else was new, really? "Now, get going. This isn't some Cinderella story, and I don't want you to be late."

I was convinced that, thanks to Levi's uplifting words, she was still able to receive Mikasa's foul attitude with a smile. With another nod and another breath of thanks to all of the stylists that had helped her and her bridesmaids, she was out the door and off to start her new life as a misses.

With a huge sigh of relief, I crawled out from underneath the front counter and brushed myself off. I can't even begin to explain how difficult hiding in that cramped space had been, and the half-apologetic look in Levi's eyes told me that he had finally caught on to why I had hid. Then again, wouldn't it have been incredibly lucky for a blushing bride to see an angel on her wedding day? Well, yeah, maybe, but not in my condition. And let's not even get started on the fact that she could have very well possessed her memories from the past. Yeah, seeing me would have made her late for sure.

"Those girls were so sweet," a stylist continued to say, "but ugh, far too young."

"I agree." It was Mikasa who had said it, causing every set of eyes to glue onto her, mine included. "She's only nineteen. She told me that she just started her second year of college two months ago."

"Babies. All of y'all are babies." There was a pause, and the attention had shifted to Levi. "Hey, lovely Levi?"

"Yeah?" Um, "lovely Levi"? Was that a pet-name, or something?

"You're nineteen, too, right?"

Levi fit his hand against his hip. "Yeah? What about it?"

"Could you picture yourself getting married right now? You know, to a pretty little girl and then having some kids together?"

"Hell no!" The disgust in his tone had caused the entire salon, save for me and Mikasa, to erupt into laughter. I had to admit, though, I did crack a smile. "Even I know when I'm too young for certain things and ugh, settling down is one of them."

While the energy in the room started to die down, and the process of cleaning everything up began to ensue, it was almost startling to hear Mikasa's voice again. Usually, she chose not to loiter around, but something must have been keeping her this time. "Levi, may I have a word with you for a minute?"

Oh. Oh, no. Was Levi in trouble? Was it because he had arrived late to work? Why should he get in trouble for that? Wasn't it his schtick?

It felt like elementary school all over again as Levi rolled his eyes and began the "walk of shame" toward the presumed back room. With the way that everyone was staring at him, the only thing that was truly missing from this event was the chorus of immature  _oohs_.

From what I could guess, the room that Mikasa had brought Levi - and me - to was the same room where she had been working on the bride-to-be's make-up. She closed the door behind us. "I want to talk to Eren."

Wait, what?

I looked to Levi, who looked right back at me. In unison, we turned our heads to Mikasa.

"What do you mean you want to talk to Eren?" Levi asked. A bitterness had laid itself over his forgotten flamboyant tongue.

"I mean exactly what I mean, so have a seat."

Nerves bundled in my stomach as we both took to the stools that were used for make-up styling. With our backs to the vanities and our attention on the woman before us, we waited until she spoke again.

"I'm not going to ask what happened to your wing, because that's entirely irrelevant to what I need to talk to you about." Well, that was a relief, I guess. "I want you to tell me something."

"Um, yes?" My fingers began to anxiously play with the hem of my shirt. What did she want to know? What could she have possibly wanted to know?

"I had another dream last night," she said, holding the collar of her scarf as she spoke, "and this one was far more vivid than the one I had before. Eren, I think I understand why I can see you now. It's because we were brother and sister, isn't it?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. If Mikasa had the dream, then there was nothing I could do to deny it. Why even bother trying to hide anything in the first place? Both she and Levi knew all of my secrets, so it wasn't even worth the effort. But why did she have to find out in this way? One can only imagine the extent of just how utterly gruesome her dream had been.

"Yes." The word came out a lot softer than intended, so I repeated myself. "Yes, we were. I don't know how much or what you dreamt about-"

She interjected. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Yeah..." Lifting a hand to the back of my neck, I continued, "Like I was saying, though, you're right. We were."

"Okay, that's all I wanted to know." And just like that, the conversation was over. Somehow, I felt a bit disappointed. She'd just learned that we used to be siblings and had hardly even seemed to care. However, I guess that was just the Mikasa of this modern era.

Ushering us out of the room, saying that she wanted us gone so that she could have her "lunch" break, I was able to peek back to Mikasa just in time to see her hand clutch against her scarf again. This time, she brought the thin strip of fashion fabric to her nose and inhaled. She seemed about ten times calmer after doing so, and something about that small little act of vulnerability showed me that she cared about me, about  _us_ , a lot more than she let on.

Maybe Mikasa wasn't as different as she seemed. Just like Levi, maybe it was all an act.

 

* * *

 

After Levi's shift ended, he surprised me by saying something that I hadn't been expecting. Really, I hadn't been expecting it at all. "Hey, do you want to go and do something? I know your leg probably hurts from standing on it all day, but I'm not really looking forward to heading back to the apartment just yet."

Showing him a quizzical expression, I said, "You know, the last time we  _did_  something, I ended up with these injuries."

He rose his hands in defense. "Fair enough, fair enough. I was suggesting something a little less adventurous this time, though. Like, a walk around the town maybe?"

Like Levi had said, my leg wasn't in the best of shape to be doing a whole lot of extra walking, but was there really any way for me to deny such a lovely suggestion? If anything, it was probably the closest thing to being a date that I could see us having. "That sounds really ni-"

I'm not sure why, but I fell to the ground.

I wanted to scream more than anything, but the horrible sound was caught and minimized to only a gargling rumble in my throat. I couldn't breathe, rather, I'd forgotten  _how_ , and everything around me, all surroundings became muddied and black. I could still hear, though. I could hear Levi's voice the most, but it sounded muffled and distant. Negatively nostalgic.

Something was happening to me. My body, it felt  _strange_ and I wanted it to  _stop_. I wanted it to  _stop_.

The scream that had been stuck in my throat found a way to set itself free, and I began to violently convulse.

And just like that, it was over.

My scream turned into a cry, a moan,  _something_ , and my wings shot outward to their full expanse. With dots of my vision returning to me, the dusting of feathers floating onto the pavement below was the first thing that I had been able to focus on. What...had just happened?

"-ren! Eren!"

Responding felt like it was out of the question at this point, but I did my best to let Levi know that I could hear him, a privilege I hadn't been in possession of so long ago. "Hn..."

There was a cut in the air, causing the feathers to fly away as if frightened. Levi was right by my side, and with two hands beneath the undersides of my arms, he was helping me back on to my feet. Not strong enough after whatever that horrible happening had been, I was forced to lean on him for support.

"...Levi?" It was surprising that I'd even managed to speak his name. Maybe my energy was coming back to me a lot quicker than I'd originally thought.

Using the same, serious tone that he'd used with the bride-to-be back in the beauty salon, he made sure his eyes were on me, focused and fierce, when he stated, "I don't know what the Hell just happened to you, but your wing just grew all of its feathers back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Wow, wow! Lots of things happening here! I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Next week, expect a bit of a different chapter coming your way. I'm not going to spoil the surprise, but questions about what just happened with Eren will be answered and I think you'll be in for a bit of a treat!
> 
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	19. I Found You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picture Bonnie and Clyde, but without Bonnie. That was their relationship.

We always found each other.

Something twisted and beautiful must have made us this way, always, each and every time. There wasn't a life, nor was there even a decade, when our paths didn't intertwine, where our souls didn't mix. Regardless of the circumstances, we've always, always found each other. Have I made that point clear?

Sometimes, we were lucky. Sometimes, there was little to no effort in our search at all. But "sometimes" didn't always happen. Most of the time, things were unfortunate and unfavorable, and our paths only crossed for the mere shining of a second. Like I stated, that never held enough definition to change the matter of the fact.

We always found each other.

The only problem was, the easier that it was to find one another, the harder it became to establish a morally correct relationship.

For example, having been "blessed" in one lifetime as twins, people found it oddly charming when we always held onto each other's hand, refusing to let go. Joint at the hip and evidently inseparable; that's what everyone would call us. However, in our later years, our charm had faded. We were just  _odd_. No longer was it seen as "cute" or "adorable" when we shared kisses that lasted for just a bit too long, or touched each other in places that we're exactly family-oriented. Did we care? Of course not, and why should we? It wasn't our fault that no one understood the extent of our past.

Likewise, when finding Ymir proved to be difficult, the love that we shared was just that much sweeter.

Kissing a criminal, a killer, a person who made it a point to do everything wrong in their life, had never made me feel more  _alive_. The hands on my hips, how many lives had they taken? The lips on my mouth, neck, chest, how many innocents had they consumed? I never asked, because I always assumed that it never mattered. But maybe it was because that, deep down, it was the answer to a question that I didn't want to know.

We had a good run, and I say "run" because that's exactly what we always had to do, but in the year 1692, when witch trials were in full bloom in Salem, Massachusetts, keeping our relationship a secret wasn't as simple as in past lifetimes. Our evenings consisted of midnight rendezvous after rendezvous, for we couldn't have it any other way, even we wanted to. She was the "possessed", and I was the daughter of the village priest. Everything about our love screamed no, don't, but everything in our hearts cried yes, more.

If someone were to ask me what the hardest thing about being in love was, in any of my lifetimes, I would know my answer right off the bat. I would tell them that it was watching your lover, the precious person that, no matter how corrupted and impure, was perfect in your eyes, meet their death in a way that was not upon their own accord.

As the logs were kicked out from beneath her feet and her body was sent forward, I watched her, eyes glued to the lips that had claimed mine so many times over, as they mouthed four, primary words that would haunt me until the very end.

"I will find you."

But she never did, rather, she didn't have the chance to. I remembered walking home from the trial that evening, but after that, everything else was a masked blur. I was told that my murder had been brutal, wretched, and that it would go down in the village's history for ages, but that information was irrelevant to me. The only murder on my mind was Ymir's.

It felt terribly unfair that my last life on Earth had to be that one. I wanted nothing more than for Ymir to keep her promise to me, but as I smashed through the shell of my egg and spread my sloppy, mucus-coated wings, her words seemed so far away.

From then on, I learned, I trained, I grew, and I got promoted. From angel, to caretaker angel, to caretaker archangel with Jean, I truly believed that I could live the rest of my not so new life in peace. But that was when I had been delivered with unsettling news.

The messenger angels had informed the deliverance angels that a handful of corrupted souls had been sent to Sector Sina. I remembered being in earshot of the conversation, at the time. Hearing the list of names, the name "Ymir" being among those of the damned, I had immediately pushed past a line that I was not meant to cross.

It shouldn't have been a surprise to me that Ymir had been sent to Sina - the place where all horrible humans went as a holding ground before being carried along by a deliverance angel to Hell. She had never been one to live a moral life, but just knowing that she was somewhere so close, almost within reach, made me want to see her. No, I  _needed_  to see her. We had a promise that needed to be fulfilled.

It was quite a long time ago, but the memory was oh, so fresh. Never could I describe myself as being as distressed as I was in that very moment. On my knees, begging and pleading, I did everything in my power to wager and bargain with the deliverance angels. Me, I wanted it to be me. I wanted to be the one to see Ymir, even if that meant that I had to be the one to deliver her rotten soul to Hell.

 

* * *

 

My weary wings carried me to unknown places. Apartment complex, I needed to find an abandoned apartment complex. Things would have been so much easier for me if I would have been able to continue the use of my transportation ability, but it was a talent that I'd already exhausted just from using it to find Eren. Plus, I wouldn't have been able to properly relocate myself even if I tried. Such a thing only worked when I had either an exact location or an exact person in mind. Angels, surprisingly, were included under the definition of person; ghosts were not.

Five minutes, that's what Eren had said, but I'd been flying around for what felt like hours. Had I taken the wrong course? Was I going in the wrong direction? I didn't know. I just  _didn't_  know. I needed to fly back.

Where was she? Where was Ymir? And how, for the love of God,  _how_  did she escape from the depths of Hell? No one, not even the most skilled of demons, could figure out a way to set themselves free, and yet, she did. Somehow, some way, she did.

Pressing onward - or backward, I wasn't quite sure anymore - I was overcome with a fierce sensation of unease. It felt heavy and thick, like I was being weighted and pulled down, down, down to the ground. When the balls of my heels dug into the dirt beneath my feet, my toes tangling with the cold, dewy grass of the far too early morning, I willed my head to look up. I almost didn't want to see it, but I did. The old, rundown complex that once was home to the hundreds, now a dwelling for only one occupant.

Finding a way inside of the building wasn't as difficult as I had assumed. The doors were obviously unlocked and the stairwells were passable. But that's as far as my easy goings went. Now came the part of actually seeking out my once, every lifetime lover.

No one could have expected it, or maybe that was just me, but I nearly lost my footing - as fragile as it may had been - when a horribly loud shriek shook through the entirety of the property. That scream...it was more familiar than I liked to admit.

If I had any intention of getting to the source of that sound in the fastest mode possible, I needed my wings. My feet? They were just too slow.

Up the stairs, I coasted at a rate that couldn't have been considered safe. My velocity kept increasing by the increment and I wasn't sure if I would be able to stop myself. First rule of flight: never fly faster than you are capable of handling. Clearly, I was tossing that mindset right out the window.

Another scream. Faster. One more. Even faster.

Flying straight into a door, an action that I would regret when I got the chance to, I broke it right off of its helplessly hanging hinges. Its frame crashed onto the ground in a rattling mess, the noise of it startling me almost as much as the secondary sound that I had been presented with.

"-ri...a..."

My eyes were around the room, searching it for everything that it was worth. The scream, the voice, it had come from here, I knew that, but...

"His...tor..."

"...Ymir?" I whipped around at the sound of something shattering. Glass? Was it one of the windows?

"My...His...toria!"

I swallowed back a squeal. My arms instantly felt like they were on fire, as a loose form of something wrapped itself around me. It burned more than anything I could have ever imagined. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry out, but I held everything back. My tongue was clenched beneath my teeth with an aggression, one that was forceful enough to make it bleed.

"His...toria! My...His...toria!"

"Ymir..." I whimpered, delightfully surprised in my ability to suppress the pain that I had succumb to. "Ymir, is that...?"

Arms. By looking down, I finally realized that the unbearable heat was the product of two, translucent arms dangling around my body. The feeling could have been better, it could have felt like the hundreds of times that Ymir had held me in her arms before, but now, it was just overwhelming. For the first time in forever, I actually wanted her to  _let me go_.

"Histo...ria. My...Histo...ria."

An angel can determine whether a spirit is trapped or corrupted. Trapped souls are miserable beings that haven't successfully crossed over into any of the dominions. Corrupted souls, normally depicted by their tendency to repeat words, sounds, and phrases, are the souls that deliverance angels guide to Hell. They're the souls of humans that have lived immoral lives in multiple of their lifetimes, their punishment being an eternity of suffering. That had been Ymir's fate, and yet, here she was.

I tried to wiggle my way out of her three-hundred degree grasp, but the second she felt me struggle, she began to cry out to me. "His...toria! Don't...leave me! Don't...leave me!"

Not leaving her was such a hard request to fulfill, when it required having to sustain being held by a force that my body was obviously trying to reject. "Ymir, let go, please," I strained myself to whisper. "You're...you're hurting me..."

I'd half expected her to not listen to me - she never did - but she complied to my order easily and released me. I watched her slink away, muttering more words that I had trouble making out the meaning of. From what I could grasp, she'd said something along the lines of, "Hurt. Historia. No. Don't want to."

I was intrigued by the sight of her, now that I was able to get a better look. She was lanky and thin, more so than I remembered. Her limbs looked limp and weak, almost like they'd been snapped at the joints. Her overall appearance, there wasn't another word for it. She looked dead.

I was able to see her eyes for just a second, before she shamefully turned her head away from me. Did it pain her to look at me? This  _version_  of me? If so, she wasn't alone; it pained me to see her this way, as well.

The separation that had formed between us allowed me to weight my thoughts better and realize some of my main purposes for coming here. First and foremost, I wanted to see if what Eren had told me was true. Obviously, it was, and I should have never doubted him for it. From what I could remember, he'd never been a liar. My second reasoning was for answers, some of which that I'd wanted to learn right away. There would be no waiting like when I was with Eren; I'd done my waiting. It was time for me to get settled.

"Ymir," I spoke, approaching her with utmost caution. Even as a high ranking angel, my knowledge of ghosts was still pretty limited. I knew that they could react sporadically at just the smallest disturbance, but I didn't know  _how_  sporadically. "I want you to tell me something."

She spun around once, twice, three times from what I could count. Her head whirled toward me and I'd finally be able to see her eyes for more than a moment. They were ugly, not anything like the flaming irises of amber that I had come to love so much, but they were captivating nonetheless. "Something...? Historia...something?"

"Yes," I nodded, finding it in my best interest to show her a smile. I wanted to make it known that my intentions towards her were good. Maybe that way, she and I could establish a common ground between one another. "I'm very surprised to see you, Ymir. I'm very happy to see you, too." My smile, was it still there? "But I want to know something very important, and it's only something that you can tell me. Ymir, I want you to tell me how you got here."

She was silent, only staring at me with a vacant expression. I felt the need to prompt her again. "You remember it, don't you? When we held each other's hands and I walked all the way with you down the path to Hell? I know it happened quite a long time ago, but I'm sure you remember it."

Nothing. Just a blink.

I probably shouldn't have made an alteration to my speaking tone, but her silence was frustrating. Taking on a more serious set of speech, I breathed, "Ymir, I'm asking you a question. How did you get here? How did you escape from Hell?"

"Historia..." It was the first thing she'd said in a minute, and I wasn't certain whether it was a statement or an answer.

"Me?" I whispered. "You came here because of me?"

She nodded so fast that I thought her head was going to fall off. I held my hands up to her as an attempt to get her to calm down, but instead, she lurched forward and grabbed onto them. I winced.

"I came...for Historia. I came back to...Historia. I cried for...Historia. Bring Historia...back to me...and here is...Historia. My...Historia."

Somewhere along the lines, her words had struck a nerve, a  _human_  nerve. Her hands were hotter than her arms had felt, but this time, I didn't feel like struggling free. Even if not doing so left horrible markings on my skin, I was only focused on what else she had to say. "How did you come back, Ymir? How did you escape?"

"Bar...gain. I made...bar...gain."

"A bargain? You made a bargain?" Again, she was nodding violently. It was almost as if her ghostly body had two, ultimate settings: stop and accelerate. "What did you bargain, Ymir?"

"My...free...dom. Free...dom. My...free...dom."

Her freedom? That didn't make any sense. Her freedom should have been stripped from her, the moment she had entered the gates to Hell. "Tell me more, Ymir," I said, regaining my smile. "Tell me about your freedom."

She didn't seem sure of herself, like the vocabulary she had retained wasn't enough to make her answer decent. Looking to her left, then to her right, she was back at me. "Here. Right...here. This is where...I chose. I can only stay...right here."

"Why did you choose this place, Ymir?" I hadn't the faintest clue. If her bargain was that she could only return to Earth under the oath that she could stay in one place and one place alone, why would she choose the abandoned apartment complex? As far as I knew, this place held no significance to anything, but I could have been wrong.

"Wit...ches. Witch...hanging..."

I ripped my hands from her grasp, and in return, she spun out of control around the room. "The witches?" I gasped. I was so confused that I felt nauseated. Where was I? This place, this apartment complex, it wasn't in Salem, was it? Was this where Ymir...had been hanged?

"Witches! Witches! Kill...the...witches!" Ymir shouted, laughing tyrannically. Making a show of tying a noose around her neck, she stepped off of the "barrels" and met her inevitable death. Seeing it happen all over again made me want to vomit.

"Ymir, stop it! You're scaring me!" I had been shocked by the level of my own voice, more so than the authority that I apparently had over her. Like a kicked puppy, she slunk her way back over to me and laid herself down at my feet. Touching my toes was the equivalent to walking on burning charcoals, but I didn't budge. I had enough right in my mind not to set her off again.

Instead, I crouched down to her level. I wanted her to see that I wasn't mad at her, that I was grateful that she had actually listened to me. "That was a first, you know," I murmured sweetly. "You never used to listen to me before."

I got the sense that she understood me, that she  _remembered_ what we had been like when we were human. She looked up at me, then back down at my feet. I felt her breath, which was unexpectedly cold, glide along my ankles, as she whispered her first coherent sentence to me. "I missed you, Historia."

Even with that one sentence, made up of four, simple words, she placed me under the impression that I had her back, that I had the Ymir of my past back and in front of me. That impression, however, it was gone the second she opened her mouth again to speak. "I want...Historia...back. I want Historia...back...with me."

It was funny how her words were proving to be more painful to me than were her touches. There was no way that I could make her wish a reality. If she had escaped from Hell, even if by sheer desire alone, she had to be brought back. That's just the way things were; there was nothing fairytale about it.

"I'm sorry, Ymir," I whispered, continuing to keep my voice low for her. "I'm very sorry." It wasn't a lie, I  _was_  sorry, but for more reasons than I was letting on. "I want you back, too." But the Ymir that I wanted back was long gone.

"Here!" Her loudness had startled me. No longer at my feet, Ymir was perched on the tips of her toes just like I was. "I'm...here! We're...here! Forever! Right...here!"

"No, Ymir." I felt like I was scolding a child. "We can't. You need to go back-"

"No, Ymir! No, Ymir!" She was mocking me. "No...no...no!"

I had to think faster than I liked to. From her reaction alone, it was clear to me that Ymir wasn't responsive to my reasoning. Then again, could I blame her? I didn't like the sound of my proposition, either. And really, who would actually  _want_  to go back to Hell?

In the end, I gave up for the moment and changed the subject. "You saw Eren earlier, didn't you?"

"Eren. Levi. Eren...and Levi."

I nodded to her. That was good, she remembered. "Yes, you saw the both of them. Do you remember what happened? Do you remember hurting Eren?"

"Levi!" That was the only thing she said.

"No, no, Ymir," I said, watching her bob her head at me as I talked. "You hurt Eren, not Levi."

"Levi!" Again, it was her only answer.

"Ymi-"

"I wanted...to kill...Levi!"

My eyes widened larger than they should have and Ymir wasn't one to fail to notice. "What did you...?"

Spinning around the room, Ymir began to call and chant. What changed? What had changed? Why was the Ymir that I was looking at now so different from the girl that had been laying at my feet just a few minutes ago? Maybe these were the sporadic mood changes that I should have better warned myself about.

"Kill Eren's...lover! Levi...not...Historia!"

"Ymir, stop!" I said it again, but this time, I didn't receive the response I had been looking for. She kept ranting and raving about how she had wanted to kill Levi, how he and Eren hadn't been me. I didn't want to hear anymore of it. I was done listening. "I said  _stop_!"

You know that feeling, where it's almost like you've been pulled against a drift? How the ocean water feels when your feet are embedded in the sand along the shore, how the tides try to drag you in, but the rest of your body refuses to budge? In that moment, that's what I had felt. Undoubtedly, Ymir had felt it, too.

Her body caved at the force of my voice, almost like she was shriveling up into the mere nothingness that our current relationship now consisted of.

I was such a hypocrite.

I needed to learn how to swallow the words that I preached, because as Ymir looked up at me, her eyes filled with nothing but long and dead emotion, I wanted nothing more than to hold her, to kiss her, to live the lively pasts that we once and always had shared.

"Histo...ria?"

"I'm sorry, Ymir," I whispered. I hadn't noticed that my vision had gone blurry, until I felt warm tears streaking their way down my face. Yes, I was definitely a hypocrite. "I want you to make a bargain with me, okay?"

 

* * *

 

Her lips against mine felt like the spice that we had had back in the early days, after she had just finished a raid, a heist, anything that was illegal or wrong. Her hands on my hips burned in a way that was both good and bad, but I chose not to mind it. This was the bargain I had made; I needed to keep up with my end of it.

With the way she pulled on my hair, I thought for sure that it would fall out. Needless to say, there was nothing gentle about what we were doing, but I kept reminding myself the same thing over and over again.

This was our bargain, and this was my sinful end of it.

When the sun finally made its decent down to the horizon, I felt a sense of relief, as well as one of regret. My body felt burnt beyond recognition, marked by the woman that had claimed me so many years ago, but it was the idea of finality that made me waver.

Have you ever tasted a fruit so sweet that you just wanted to keep eating more and more of it? Unfortunately for me, there was nothing left. The fruit was gone. Our time was up. My end of the bargain was complete.

"More time...with Historia..." Ymir pleaded, marking the marks upon marks on my skin.

"We made a bargain, Ymir," I sighed. I was tired, tired of so many things. Tired of being the martyr, tired of having to negotiate with her, tired of being ravished throughout the day by a being that my body was constantly trying to reject. We didn't have sex - that wasn't a part of our bargain - but we made love in the only way that we knew how to, at this point. We kissed, hugged, cuddled, and cried. A hypocrite, that's what I was, wanting to live in the past where they days made sense and both our bodies and our minds could connect. "We made a bargain."

 

* * *

 

I was reminded of the food chain as we walked, her hand blazing in mine, how humans are seemingly at the top. Place ghosts above humans and angels above ghosts and you have the full circle. My authority over Ymir could have brought us to the gates of Hell much sooner than it actually had, but the regrettably human side of me faltered the process of it. I didn't want her to leave. We were together again and I didn't want to be apart from her. But this was reality and this wasn't the Ymir that I had fallen in love with.

Would any other angel bargain with a ghost in the way that I had? No, of course not. Until the sun sets, we can be together; the was my promise to her. Before the moon rises, she'd return to Hell; that was her wager with me.

Even in her demented state of unawareness, I was almost certain that Ymir could feel the difference between us, too. There was almost...a glimmer of disappointment. We weren't the same as we were in the past. We'd been sculpted into the reforms of our beings; she being an entity of evil and I being the embodiment of good. I didn't practice what I had preached, and in the end, I'd gotten burned by it...literally. In that very moment, as we watched the large gating units of Hell open before us, I could only hope that Eren would not make the same mistakes as I had. He didn't deserve this sort of pain; he'd already had his fair share of it.

"Ymir, I am formally reinstating your spirit into Hell for all of eternity," I spoke, saying the words that a deliverance angel would normally speak at time like this. "Your leave was unjustified, and I hereby declare that if you are ever to exit these caverns again, you will be promptly exorcised." There was a finality to exorcism like no other. Even though I had spoke the words as a warning, I desperately hoped that they would never have to be an option. "As angels, we do not say goodbye to evil spirits, we say good riddance. With that I say to you, Ymir, good-"

"Histo...ria..."

I stopped talking immediately. Ymir was removing her hand from mine, and as an action that would have been likely to make me uneasy, she was actually complying to the method. She'd done it before, she knew the steps. I saw her walking toward the territory that I didn't dare to step foot in, looking back at me the entire time. "...What?" I asked her. What had she wanted to say?

Suddenly, my knees collapsed beneath my weight and I was in a panic. Everything, every inch of my body that Ymir's fingers had touched, where her lips had graced, where her teeth had marked, felt ten times worse than when she had been in the act of doing it. I held onto my forearms, my shoulders, my legs, my thighs, trying to stop whatever was happening to me.

And like that, it was over.

Without a trace, without a mark, my skin was pasty white and positively pure. Only the memory lingered, only the thought of it remained.

My head shot up, trying to make sight of where Ymir was and where she had gone. She was further now, but only marginally. Stepping closer and closer to darkness, I couldn't let her leave me for the second time with giving me an answer.

"Ymir!" I shouted to her, still holding onto my arms for a sense of something else now: comfort. "What is it? What did you want to say?"

"I...kept my...promise, Historia..." Turning back for the last time, Ymir showed me an expression that only I could remember, one that only I had been able to witness before. There was a softness to her edges, and if I swore, I would have sworn to God that I saw her eyes, if only for just a second of a second, flicker with the life that I had made them known for.

"I...found...you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Alright! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter from Historia's point of view! Now you all got to see what happened while Historia was away! Little did Levi and Eren know what she was putting up with, as they mindlessly went about their day. (:
> 
> Anywho, this chapter ended up being a lot longer than I intended for it to be, but I'm proud of the length! I hope you'll all like it to!
> 
> As always, thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	20. White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren learns something about Levi that he hadn't been expecting: he can be quite the prankster.

My feathers? They were back? But, how was that even possible? I mean, sure, I'd fallen to the ground in excruciating pain over them, but didn't Historia say that she wasn't even certain whether or not they'd heal? That my leg would heal? Wait, was my leg even healed? A quick bend at the knee and a rolling of my pant leg was all that I needed in order to remove the bandages that Levi had so skillfully wrapped around my calf the evening prior. "My leg, too," I muttered in disbelief.

"What? Your leg, what?" Levi asked. Clearly, he and I weren't on the same page. He must have been far too preoccupied with the conspiracy of my wing to notice.

"My leg is healed, too," I clarified, extending it forward. The action of it caused me to waver, and I grabbed onto Levi's shoulder for support. Truthfully, I was beginning to wonder the same thing he had verbalized just minutes ago: how the Hell did any of this happen?

"Eren, what happened?" Levi asked. There was a crack in his voice, something that I hadn't heard in him before, or rather, in quite a while. Although amazingly unfazed by a lot of the things that have happened as of late, something about this scenario must have touched onto a point that was just a bit too  _real_  for him. My feathers had grown back right in front of him, right before his very eyes. It was a  _real_  thing that had  _really_  happened.

"I...I honestly don't know." And really, I didn't. It was just another, friendly reminder that I still knew very little about myself, about  _everything_. Maybe I had healing powers that I'd totally just unlocked, or maybe ghostly injuries only lasted for an extended amount of time. Neither of those seemed right. Historia had said - wait, Historia. Maybe  _she_  had something to do with this! "Wait."

"What?"

Oh, this would be fun to explain. Removing my hand from Levi's shoulder, I was able to steady myself and balance out my voice. "Okay, I'm going to tell you a bunch of things all in one go, but everything I'm about to say is crucial to my overall answer." Levi folded his arms, taking my "wait" order to heart. I sighed, before I continued. "While you were asleep last night, I was visited by Historia."

"Historia." Levi had repeated her name with a definite tone. He'd heard it enough from Ymir's senseless babbling, so obviously he remembered it. "The same Historia...?"

I nodded. "Yes, it was the same Historia that you're referring to. I know I've mentioned them to you before, but she and Jean were my caretaker angels. After I was born into this body, they helped me learn the mechanics of it. Anyways, that's getting a bit off topic. Like I said, Historia visited us - well, me, while you were asleep last night. She wanted to make sure that I'd found you, my guarded human, properly and safely. When she saw my condition, however, it goes without saying that she was concerned."

For good reason, I chose to skip over the discussion that Historia and I had shared about Levi. It was irrelevant and would only cause more confusion and upset than was necessary. "When I told her that Ymir had been the one to cause the damage to both my wing and my leg, she became inconsolable."

Levi nodded at that, like what I'd just told him made absolute sense to him. "Well, yeah. They were lovers, weren't they?"

I blinked. "Wait, how did you know that?"

Levi's fingers squeezed against his arms, before he spoke again. Was what he was about to say really that disconcerting to him? "Um, that ghost lady said it, remember?"

Oh, duh. That was right. How could I forget? After all, it was in the very same string of sentences that Levi had learned about...us. "Yeah," I said, "I remember it now. So, continuing on from what I was trying to get at before, Historia ended up fleeing in search of her. More than anything, it seemed, she wanted to find Ymir."

It was in the midst of my speech that I couldn't get enough of the fact that I was completely healed. Flexing my wings and stepping on my leg, I breathed a sigh of relief when the act of it wasn't met with a stinging pain. If I wasn't certain before, I was now: Historia had to have a part in this. "Levi?"

"Yeah?"

"It makes me feel a little uneasy to say this," I whispered, "but if I were to take a guess, I would say that Historia is the reason behind my healing. I mean, just earlier, she was saying that she didn't even know whether or not I had the capability to recover from such an injury, but here I am. It makes me think that she found Ymir and, well, I'm not entirely sure of the rest."

If Historia had found Ymir, what would she have done? Would she have killed her? No, that was far too cruel for someone like Historia to do. And to her lover especially. Honestly, I had a feeling that I wouldn't be getting an answer any time soon...or at all, really.

Everything I'd just said, it was a lot for Levi to absorb, so I allowed him a moment of silence to do so. While he was in processing mode, my wings began to flap. Back and forth, together, apart, it was uncanny how twenty-four hours of mild discomfort made me really appreciate my feathers to their fullest. I wanted to fly...really badly. I wanted to  _fly_.

"Eren, are you-?"

I hadn't meant to behave so rudely, but my desire for flight overpowered all reason. Digging my feet against the pavement, I sprinted past Levi and spread my wings wide. The air that blew beneath my feathers was like a Godsend, and it ballooned me higher and higher into the atmosphere. By the time I looked down, I had excelled well above the roofs of many of the street buildings. At my altitude, I couldn't make out Levi's expression; he was but a mere speck on my radar. I could only hypothesize one of two things: either he was dumbfounded by my stupidity, or he was marveling at my majesty. I hoped for the latter, however, it probably the prior.

I lowered the range between us, but that didn't stop me from showing off a little bit more. Looping all of my weight backward, I flipped in a way that highlighted the broad dimensions of my wings. Their unevenness made them imperfect, but their vast expanse made them glorious. By the time my little air show had come to a close, my chest was rattling with gentle laughter. It felt good to let loose and be utterly free again. It felt good just being  _me_ , the "me" that Levi was supposedly in endorsement of.

My sloppy landing almost killed my confidence, but it was Levi's words that fluffed my pride right back up again. "That was..."

"Ridiculous?" I snorted.

He snickered. "Well, yeah, but in a good way." Unfolding his arms and granting me his full, eye-to-eye attention, Levi appeared ultimately impressed, as he said, "I think that was the first time where you actually asserted your angel...ness. You looked really cool." An awkward pause. "I liked it."

I was the first to break away from our consensual eye contact, but Levi ended up following suit soon thereafter. Just as difficult as it was for me to accept his praise, from Levi's shifty demeanor, I could tell that he was having trouble dealing with the after-effects of delivering such a compliment. That's not what I wanted. He and I, we'd been doing so well. I wanted the air between us to be breathable, not suffocating. So, with as much courage as I could muster, I made an effort to regain the attention that I'd previously had by blatantly sputtering, "Thank you!"

At first, he seemed taken aback by my gracious outburst, but with my voice echoing in the both of our eardrums, he had succumb to a chuckling fit. "You're welcome."

In the time it had taken for us to establish our normalcy again, I'd remembered that Levi had mentioned something about taking a stroll through the town. Personally, I didn't recall ever seeing the city streets that Levi was referring to. I wanted to familiarize myself with them. Tilting my head to the side, I wondered, "Does your offer still stand?"

Levi's brain had been fed so much information in the past handful of minutes that it didn't surprise me, when he questioned, "What offer?"

"You said that you didn't want to go back to the apartment yet. Do you still feel that way, or have you changed your mind?"

"No, you're right," he said, fastening the buttons of his jacket as he spoke. The temperatures had depleted significantly since the early afternoon, and I found myself just a breath away from asking Levi if he wanted me to warm his hands for him, before he continued, "I'm not in the mood to see Erwin after how he treated you, so let's head into town. While we're there, we can stop by where Hange works and pretend to be difficult customers."

How could I go against that mischievous grin? Levi's proposition sounded much more appealing to me than ghost hunting had, so with full agreement, I bit my lower lip to hide my own, delicately sinister smile.

"Sounds fun to me. I'm in."

 

* * *

 

The street lights glowed like white crystals that reflected against the night sky. They were the modern imitation of stars, powered by solar panels and electrical currents. Although that description didn't sound as pleasing as the natural beauty that was brought on by  _real_  stars, it didn't change the fact that the lights matched beautifully when casted against Levi's musky, grey irises.

Coasting by his side and above the many heads of city-goers, I took in as much of our surroundings as I could manage. There were so many people, so many faces, and so many street shops of the like. Vendors were trying to sell samples of their "high quality" products, while children pointed excitedly at store windows that displayed the newest fascinations that toymakers had expertly released right in time for the upcoming holiday season. Everything about the hustle and bustle of the city made me giddy with excitement, but with a quick glance at Levi's face, I was able to see that the feeling was not mutual. "Levi?" He regarded me immediately. "Are you okay?"

"I hate crowds," he explained, accidentally bumping the shoulder of another man that he'd passed. That didn't add up to me. If Levi didn't like crowds, why was he the one to suggest that we come here in the first place? "I thought we'd be able to bypass rush hour, but it looks like we came right in the middle of it." It was difficult to hear him over the hundreds of voices that he was competing with, but I was fairly certain that I'd heard him sigh. "You look like you're having fun, though."

"I am!" I smiled, hoping that he didn't mind my childish delight. What I found odd was that, as a human, just like Levi, I'd hated crowded areas. Being confined by the walls had made me more partial to wide and open spaces. As an angel, however, it would seem that I didn't mind people as much. Maybe it was the faint distinction between our breeds that had made me become this way. "Oh!" I gasped, pointing toward a distant sign. The words "Puppy Palace" were displayed in bright blue letters, and the image of a light-up dog could be seen peeking its head over the edge of said sign. "Is that where Hange works?"

Levi nodded, and ended up getting bumped into by someone else for the second time now. "Yeah, it is," he said, probably relieved.

I couldn't help feeling like our trip to the town had been terribly unfair. Something that was supposed to be fun for the both of us ended up only being interesting for me. Maybe our luck would change for the better, when we pushed past the sea of people and entered the pet shop.

An automated alarm signaled our - Levi's - presence, as we walked through the set of sliding doors. The shop was relatively small in comparison to commercial chains, but it got its point across. It was a pet store. How could you go wrong with that?

I glanced over at Levi. He was looking around, already making a show of being the "fake customer" that he had promised to be. "Oh, perfect," he whispered, snapping his knuckle against my leg to get my attention. It was too late for that; he already had it.

"What?" I whispered back. It was completely unnecessary for me to keep whispering like I was, but it was a habit that was far too hard for me to break just yet.

"See that girl over there?" he asked. Levi nudged his head at one of the female workers, trying to be as discrete as possible.

"Yeah." I saw her. "What about her?"

"I've never seen her before, so she's gotta be someone new," he explained. "All of Hange's other co-workers can spot me from a mile away, so my pranks never work on them." I felt both anxious and excited, as I watched Levi click his tongue. "This should be fun." Yeah, fun for him, but not for the poor girl that was still very new to the job. Still, was it so wrong of me for wanting to see Levi in the act of doing something devious?

Maybe? Probably.

"Excuse me!" Levi shouted, waving his hand in the air like a drop-dead diva. I had to admit, just when I thought he couldn't get any better at acting, there he was, in all his glory, strutting his way around a pet shop like he had an agenda.

"Oh!" the girl stated, quickly rushing over to where Levi was having a huffy-puffy hissy fit. "Welcome to Puppy Palace! Is there something I can help-"

"Do I look like I need help to you?" Levi scoffed, dropping his hand and sticking out his hip. "Wait, wait, let me repeat that for you. Do I  _look_  like I need  _help_ to  _you_?"

Oh, God, Levi was already being awful. If I wasn't already an angel, I'd probably be going to Hell for laughing at the girl's utterly concerned face.

"Um, well, you were calling for somebody-"

"Yeah, I was," he interrupted. "That's because I  _do_ need help. See this? See my face? This is the face of someone who needs help, alright? Got that? Good. Okay." All of a sudden, Levi was walking. In order to get the young girl to follow him, he hailed her with the back of his hand.

"Um, sir?" the worker asked. "What was it that you needed help with?"

Spinning on his heel, Levi turned and faced his sorrowful victim. Clapping his hands together, he caused her to jump. "Let me tell you. I purchased a collar here, probably about a week ago, for my Parisian poodle, Phee-Phee. Her name is spelled with two ph's, not two f's. I absolutely  _loathe_  it when people spell her name with f's. Anyways, like I was saying, I bought a collar for my precious Phee-Phee, and after wearing it for just under an hour, she broke out in skin warts."

It was obvious that the young employee had no idea how to handle such a situation, so in a desperate attempt to appear like she was well-educated in her new line of work, she questioned, "D-do you remember what the collar looked like?"

Levi rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue again. "Um, it was red?"

"Oh, I didn't mean...what I meant was like, do you remember the brand of the collar? Do you remember the material it was made out of? If it was made out of leather, then-"

"Sweetie," Levi spoke. Even in his eccentricity, he had acquired a low baritone. "Look at me. My Phee-Phee has skin warts.  _Skin_.  _Warts_. Do you know what that is going to do to her career? She is a model. A  _model_. She's probably been to more countries than you can even name. And what does she have? She has skin warts."

"I..."

I shouldn't have been laughing. I  _really_  should not have been laughing. But standing by Levi's side for the entirety of his little game had made me feel like I was on one of those candid camera shows. He was acting so  _ridiculous_ , and the sweet worker girl was putting up with him!

"Yes,  _you_ ," Levi stated. "What are you going to do about this?"

"I, um..." She went red with embarrassment. "I can sell you a new collar, sir?"

"No!" Levi clapped his hands together for the second time. "Phee-Phee has skin warts! I'm not going to put anything else from your store around her precious little neck! You know what? I can't handle this anymore. Where's your manager?"

"S-she's not here. She's on her break."

"Fine," Levi said defiantly. He crossed his arms and irritably tapped his foot. "If I can't have the manager, then give me the next best person in charge." She quickly nodded.

I hadn't seen anyone run as fast as she had, when the girl dashed off towards the back of the store. In her absence, Levi and I proceeded to crack up like the evil delinquents that we were. "Levi!" I breathed accusingly. "That was so bad! You were  _so_  mean to her!"

"Oh, my God," he cackled, totally out of breath. "I can't believe she bought everything I was telling her. The poor girl!" He paused for a gulp of much needed air. "Her face was priceless, though!"

It was interesting to me that Levi was turning out to be a bit of a prankster. I wonder if he was just as fond of being on the receiving end of pranks, as well. All I knew was that, in our lifetime together, if I had done anything like that to him, I would have been deader than the rotting flesh of a Titan.

"He's right over there." It was the girl's voice again, but this time, it was matched with a strong pair of footsteps.

Covered from head to toe in wet dog hair and nail clippings, Hange came stomping down the aisle with an unamused look on his face. What Levi had found hilarious, Hange did not. "Are you seriously at it again, Levi?" he grumbled, folding his arms with displease. "Just how many of my co-workers do you plan on hazing?"

"Um, all of them?" Levi snickered, turning his attention over to the still, visibly shaken girl. "Hey, I'm sorry about that. It was just a joke, alright? I'm a decent guy, I promise. But I have to say, you handled that situation really well, though. Some of the workers that I've pulled pranks on have burst out into tears, but you held strong. You'll be a good employee, I can tell."

"Honestly, Levi," Hange sighed, "you have the worst sense of humor." Placing his hand on the young girl's shoulder, he made sure to give her a good, comforting pat. "I'm really sorry for him, but I can promise you that he  _won't_  be putting you through anything like that again.  _Right_?" The question had been directed at Levi.

"Hey, my magic only works once," was his defense. "Besides, it's not like she's going to forget who I am. She's going to remember me by my face."

Hange seemed to be in a permanent state of disapproval. Shaking his head, he instructed his co-worker to finish stacking the dog food bags and to try and forget everything that had just happened. In no mood to disagree, she promptly went to do just that. When we were all alone, it brought a smile to my face to see Hange begin to chuckle. "Levi, you seriously have to stop doing that to my poor co-workers," he playfully pleaded. "I'm going to get fired!"

Levi made a distinct, blowing noise with his lips, before disagreeing. "You're not going to get fired. If anything, this place'll get a restraining order on me."

I really hoped that it wouldn't have to come down to that. Restraining orders were no joke, and after all, that's all that Levi was participating in: a joke.

"Geez, I bet her face was priceless..."

There was no way Levi would be denying that. "Oh, it was."

They both sighed. "Hey, by the way, what are you two doing here?" Hange wondered, making sure to keep his voice low. "And - wait. Wait a minute. Eren, did your wing grow back?"

Finally being directly addressed by him for the first time, I scratched the back of my head and nodded. "Yeah, well, you see, it's kind of a long story..." And so had been the story about how I had lost my feathers in the first place.

With dogs that still needed to be groomed, Hange had no time to listen to a long story. "That's alright, mate. I'm just glad to see you back in tip-top shape again."

I couldn't have agreed more. It  _was_  good to be back again. Now, I wouldn't have to worry about not being able to protect Levi to my fullest extent.

"Eren and I were walking around town and we decided to stop by," Levi explained, answering what Hange's first question had been. "Plus, everything was super crowded, so I just wanted to get the heck off of the streets."

"Yeah, rush hour is a bugger, huh? Hey, why don't you two come on back and help me groom my last dog? Well, Eren probably won't be able to help much, but you're welcome to watch!"

"Sure!" Again, I seemed far more excited than Levi did. I couldn't blame him, though. He'd just spent his whole afternoon "grooming" people, and now Hange wanted him to help with animals to? If I were in his shoes, I would have felt cheated out of a good buck.

Guiding us through two rows of aisles, Hange showed Levi and me to a room that was adjacent to the back wall of the shop. The muffled sounds of barking and growling were shielded by the door, and when Hange had pushed it open with the backs of his shoulders, the noises only grew louder and louder. "Hello, my little baby beans!" he amiably greeted, earning an annoyed sigh from Levi.

"You're still calling other people's dogs 'baby beans'?" he inquired.

"Of course I am!" Hange smiled. "When they're in the care of their owners, they can be called whatever they want; when they're in my care, they're my little baby beans!"

Looking around, I was able to determine that most of the dogs were in kennels, probably waiting to be picked up by their owners. Only one dog was on the grooming table, and... "Wow," I whispered, being the first to step closer to the canine. "...He looks just like Bentley."

"Who's Bentley?" Hange asked, and wow, it made me feel good,  _really_  good, to know that that was a question that Levi could actually answer  _for_  me.

"Bentley was a dog that Eren had a few lifetimes ago," he said. "A German Shepherd mix, right?"

"Yeah, that's right." I eased my way over to stand in front of the dog. "He's so beautiful..."

"He's quite the looker, eh?" Hange asked, furthermore taking pride in his work. "He's been one of the best customers that I've had in a long time. All he wants to do is lick me and sniff my face!"

"Lick you and sniff your face?" Levi quoted, making Hange feel as if what he had said had somehow been wrong.

"Yeah, what about it?"

There was no doubt in my mind that Levi was pointing at me, when he said, "Kind of like how he's trying to do to Eren right now?"

"...Wait, what?"

I pulled my face back, utterly shocked and vaguely disturbed at the puppy that was trying to sniff my nose. This was...he could actually  _see_  me. I had a right mind to think that something like this should have been impossible, but just when the thought had crossed my mind, another one pushed it right out of it's way. "Wait a minute," I whispered. I had to test something. "...Bentley?"

Instantly, the puppy gave a sharp yelp of excitement, and his tail began wagging back and forth eagerly. Only people whom I have crossed paths with could see me...and apparently, that rule applied for animals, as well. This puppy, there was no doubt about it: he had been my Bentley.

I wanted to pet him and let him lick me just like I knew  _he_  wanted to, but the moment that I eased my hand closer to him, his snout had fazed right through my fingers. It was a shame, it really was, and Bentley's happy demeanor quickly turned melancholy. He began to whimper. "I know," I murmured, sounding just as pathetically as he did. "I wish I could pet you, too."

Both Levi and Hange found this new piece of information to be very interesting, and they weren't the only ones. If only Historia had been here, too. This event could have definitely been something for the record books.

As Hange made his way around the table and continued to groom Bentley, he began to ask me more about him and how long ago it had been since I'd had Bentley as a pet. By the time he'd finished brushing his fur and clipping his toenails, Bentley's present-day owners dropped in and asked if he was ready to be taken home. After he was leashed up and ready to go, I watched the young puppy scamper away, happily looking back at me all the while. It was tough, but I'd managed to handle it surprisingly well. "Bye, buddy."

After Hange had finished cleaning up his work space, he patted his uniform to free it from all of the loose dog hairs and nail clippings. "Well, like I said, that was the last dog that I had scheduled for the night, so I guess I can leave all of the other pick-ups to Mel."

"Is Mel that new girl?" Levi asked.

"Yup, that's her." Sighing amusedly, Hange combed his fingers through his hair. "I still can't believe that bogus story you came up with, though. Seriously, Levi? A Parisian poodle?"

"Phee-Phee," he corrected. "With two ph's, not two f's."

"Oh, my God, whatever," Hange half chuckled, half groaned. "Let's just go home."

Like he had said he would, Hange gave a list of instructions to his co-worker, telling her to finish up with the rest of the dogs in the back, while he clocked out for the evening. Writing his hours worked on a simple calendar, he yawned and shook his head. I didn't doubt the fact that he was tired. In actuality, we all were. Both he and Levi had been through very full days of work, and I had had a pretty taxing experience of my own with my wing. All in all, if Levi hadn't been ready to head back to the apartment before, surely, he was now.

The ringing alarm sounded again, as we passed through the front doors of the pet shop. The streets, once inhibited with more people than I could accurately count, were now abandoned in comparison. It was amazing what only a half of an hour could do.

However, they weren't  _entirely_  empty. In the place of people, the roads, the sidewalks, and the stones, had been blanketed with a very thin layer of dusty white.

"Hey, look!" Hange called out. His finger was excitedly extended toward the sky. "It's snowing!"

We all looked up, examining the beauty of it, as dainty little snowflakes made their decent to the Earth beneath our feet. "This is the first snowfall of the season," Levi said, his eyes mesmerized by the constantly moving image of ice and frost.

"Ooh!" Hange giggled. "You're right! Wow, isn't that romantic?"

Personally, romantic wasn't the word I would have picked to describe it, but now that it had been said, I couldn't really deny it. Watching the snow together with someone you loved, it  _was_  romantic. Although, I could only hope that Levi hadn't been overwhelmed by Hange's awkward comment.

The feeling of fingers flitting against the back of my hand had caught me off guard, but even more so, it was the fact that those fingers had belonged to Levi. I snapped my head over to him, adamant on the idea that he'd been wanting to grasp a hold of my focus. I hadn't been wrong in my thinking, because just as I'd shifted to meet his glossy gaze - made perfect with the lights and flawless with the snow - he spoke. Whether what he had said had been aimed directly at me, or as an answer to Hange, would remain an undisclosed mystery.

"Yeah, it is romantic."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Happy Pi Day, everyone! Pffft, but more importantly, Happy White Day! Although I was unable to write a specific fanfic to celebrate the holiday this year, I'm really happy that I was able to incorporate white themes towards the end of this chapter!
> 
> As a side note, I really want to thank all of my readers once again. Honestly, all of you are such lovely, lovely people, and you leave me such wonderful comments that, wow, it blows my mind away to read some of them. Truthfully, from the bottom of my heart, I can't thank you all enough for your continued. (:
> 
> Lastly, as always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you so, so much for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	21. Exclusive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren learns that, by Levi's definition, they are exclusive.

After marveling at the snow for a little while longer, Hange and Levi decided that it would be best to return to the apartment before either of them came down with something sickly. Oddly enough, November and December were some of their busiest work months, and the last thing they needed was to miss a day of work because of an easily preventable ailment. Scuffing their boots against the pavement, while I opted to take flight, we returned to the apartment in no less than twenty minutes.

That's when something completely and miraculously unexpected had taken place.

Sitting in the living room, in an armchair that was situated directly next to a reading lamp, Erwin pulled a pair of glasses off of his nose and greeted us upon our entry. "I heard it's snowing," he said, only going as far as stating the facts.

"It is!" Hange spoke excitedly. "The first snowfall of the year!"

"Well, technically, the first snowfall of the year would have taken place sometime in Januar-"

"Oh, hush, hush," Hange pouted. He and Levi were working on getting their boots off each other's feet. "You know what I meant. There's no need to get all Mr. Smarty Pants on me, okay?"

Erwin sighed amusedly at that, and just when we all thought that the brief discussion was over, he addressed us again. Well, me. He addressed  _me_.

"Eren," he said, soft and strong. He'd not only grabbed my undivided attention, but the attention of both Levi and Hange, as well.

"...U-um." I felt like an idiot for stuttered, but how could I not? The last time I'd seen him, he was threatening to have me kicked out of the apartment. "...Yes?"

Waiting for my response, Erwin had been mindlessly playing with the nose pads on his glasses. He ended up placing said glasses aside, before speaking again, and that was where the real shocker came in. "I'd like to apologize for how I acted yesterday. Everything I said to you, or about you, it was uncalled for."

The room fell silent, and for a moment, honest to God, I was certain that I wasn't the only one who had been holding my breath. Was this real? Was Erwin actually apologizing...to  _me_? I mean, sure, he sounded sincere enough, but the timing and the atmosphere of it all just seemed so surreal. "Oh!" I gasped, after I'd finally found my voice again. "Um, that's okay. I mean, you don't really have to apologize for-"

"I do, Eren." Oh, okay. "Like I said, it was uncalled for. However, I will not say that I misspoke." All eyes were on Erwin, as he shifted his gaze toward Levi. Again, it was as if all of our lungs had simultaneously stopped working. "The deal was that you were not to become a nuisance to this place." By that point, I didn't know whether he was talking to me or to Levi. "I'll let yesterday off as a strike against you as a renter, but if it happens again-"

"It won't happen again."

I don't know what was more surprising: the fact that I'd had enough courage to conjure such a sentence, or the fact that Levi and I had ended up saying the very same thing at the very same time. We glanced at one another momentarily, before turning our heads back toward Erwin. He seemed pleased enough with our answer, so with about thirty percent of the tension removed from the air, it was silently agreed that our little house meeting was over and that we were free to disperse.

For the rest of the night, Levi and I talked about nothing again. He told me about the first time he'd gotten his knee scraped on the jungle gym - how he refused to cry, but spent hours moping about it - and I told him about how I used to have an intense fear of the dark. It was strange to say, but it was the first night where what we were doing actually felt  _natural_ , like we'd finally grown accustomed to one another. Really, it felt like he and I were having our very first sleepover. In the end, as he cuddled against my wing and we both wished each other a good night, I knew that we still needed a lot of time to learn and a lot of time to allow ourselves to develop. That was fine with me, though. He and I, we were taking baby steps. And I had a feeling that, sooner than we could imagine, Levi and I would be walking all on our own.

 

* * *

**1 month later**

* * *

 

It was hard for me to believe that a month had passed since I'd died. It was hard for me to believe that a month had passed since I'd become an angel. It was hard for me to believe that a month had passed since I'd been reunited with Levi.

In some ways, the clock seemed to scrape and crawl at a snail's pace, but in others, it felt like time itself had just flown by (no angel pun intended, I swear). The month was December, and the snowfall that we had seen just a handful of weeks ago had been doubled, if not tripled, since then. Although captivating to watch as tiny little ice crystals fell from the sky, its beauty was both a blessing and a curse.

It'd been a recent discovery of mine that my wings felt much more strained, when I took flight in colder temperatures. More often than not, I ended up having to fold my feathers behind my back and walk. Luckily, Levi didn't mind it. Our period of time together, albeit brief, had given the both of us the chance to establish a bond,  _our_  bond, with one another. Day by day, minute by minute, he and I were growing closer together and I loved it. I loved  _him_.

I'd come to terms with myself that, in all of my lifetimes, I'd had the chance to fall in love twice...to the same person. Okay, well, maybe not the  _same_  person. As much as  _this_  Levi was very similar to the Levi of my past, being around him for twenty-four hours, seven days out of the week, for several weeks allowed me to pinpoint some very unique contrasts in his character.

The most obvious being his career.

It just so happened that I was currently watching him purse his lips and scrunch up his eyebrows with concentration. He was in the middle of one of his make-up sessions, and the woman he was tending to seemed to enjoy babbling on and on. Even I was able to pick up on that fact that Levi would say, "Close your lips for me, doll," in the most earnest of ways quite often. She took it as a cue for more lip balm; he and I knew it as a better mode of getting her to stop talking.

After getting a generous amount of cherry-berry smacker painted onto her lips, she was at it again, asking Levi about his plans for the holidays. "Are you doing anything exciting? I totally bet you are. A hot guy like you must get invited to tons of holiday parties."

"Oh, you know," Levi giggled. "I don't get invited to  _that_  many parties, but I do get dropped a few invitations here and there." Honestly, I think that was the first time that I had seen Levi actually acting modestly during his job. Wow, there really was a first for everything, huh? "Close your eyes for me, hun."

"I find that really hard to believe," the woman continued. She tapped one of her fingers against the side of her leg. "You're probably, like, the life of the party in everything that you do!"

Again, Levi was giggling. I could see him almost grabbing for the infamous stick of lip balm, but he managed to restrain himself. Any more of the stuff and his client would probably start getting a bit suspicious. "Well, I'm not going to deny that," he smirked, falling heavily on his flamboyance. "The party hasn't started until I arrive."

Putting that thought into a mental image, I was totally able to envision Levi at an eventful gathering. He'd arrive late, there was no doubt about that, and he'd be sure to bring his swagger and his saunter with him wherever he went. It would probably get tiring for him, constantly pretending to be something that he's not. As an actor among fools, however, I doubted that he would ever let it show.

"Pick a color, hun," Levi said, offering the woman his eyeshadow palette. The small case boasted a large array of colors, so many that the woman took over a minute to make her decision.

"How about that one?" She pointed at a particularly deep shade of red. "I think it would match perfectly with the dress that I'm going to wear tonight."

Making note of the color that his client had chose, Levi rested his palette aside and began searching around for his eyeshadow brushes. "Oh yeah? What's the occasion?"

"The office where I work is hosting a Christmas party for the staff and employees." A Christmas party? It was only December 6th. "There's going to be lots of food and drinks, and I think we're all even going to take part in a holiday grab bag! Shoot, that reminds me that I still need to pick up a gift. Hey, do you guys sell anything that would be good for such a thing?"

Sticking out his hip, Levi gave some thought to that. "Hmm, I'm pretty sure we just started selling some holiday-themed packages of lipsticks and nail polishes. Would that be decent, or does it have to be a unisex item? Then again, if a man is partial to wearing lipstick, hey, so long as he's rockin' in it, I don't judge."

Causing the woman to laugh with his comment, Levi almost ended up smearing red eyeshadow all over her lower eyelid. It was lucky that her giggle fit was one that was short-lived. "No, that sounds perfect! I'll be sure to buy a pack, after you're done with my face."

Ten fierce minutes later, Levi's client had been transformed from a young and drab business woman to a sensual superstar. After watching him work for a month now, this wasn't the first time that I had seen Levi do someone's make-up; however, this was probably the first time where I had seen him make someone look  _this_  stunning. Her eyes were like a fiery inferno, and her radiant red lips gave the impression that she'd been kissed by the flames. There was no doubt in my mind that this woman would very well be the best-looking one at her party.

"Alright, I think we're just about done here." Levi confirmed what he had said by setting aside his make-up brushes and dusting away a few stray strands of the woman's fringe. "You look flawless, by the way."

"Do I?" she gasped excitedly. Judging from her tone, that was probably one of the first times she had ever heard such a thing, which honestly made me feel slightly remorseful for her.

Grabbing for the edges of her chair, Levi gave the woman's seat a small spin. Intent on having her face the mirror of the vanity, he quietly encouraged, "Have a look for yourself."

It was almost pathetic how the woman began to celebrate her own reflection. "I'm gorgeous!" she proclaimed. Smiling brightly, she carefully touched the sides of her face, making certain that she really was looking at herself and not some altered photograph. When she began to kick her legs joyously, Levi had to step in and settle her down.

"Hey there, easy now," he chuckled, resting a delicate hand on her shoulder. "You've  _always_  been gorgeous; all I did was enhance that beauty with just a little bit of bronzer, a smear of eyeshadow, and a dash of mascara." And there Levi went again with his remarkable set of firsts. Something so motivational as what he'd just spoken, I don't think I'd ever heard him say such a thing before-well, not in the present day, at least. Moan and groan about his clients all he wanted to, I honestly believed that, deep down, Levi really enjoyed what he did. He loved making people feel special, feel  _beautiful_ , and that in itself was worth some much needed credit.

"Oh, Levi," the woman breathed. I saw her cross her legs and fold her arms thoughtfully. "How do you always know what to say? I bet you're quite a catch with those lovely little words of yours. Speaking of, are you currently seeing anyone?"

With the way that this young woman was speaking so casually with Levi, I could only guess that she must have been a regular client of his. After all, her hair was flawless. Maybe this was her first time getting her make-up done by him, though? Her reaction seemed to lean towards-wait. Hold on, what did she just ask him? Ask Levi?  _My_  Levi? Suddenly, my wings began to flutter anxiously. Did I hear her wrong, or had she really just asked him if he was seeing someone?

I was glad that I wasn't the only one who seemed to be caught off guard by the question. Levi, too, had to process it for a speedy second. "What, you mean, like,  _dating_?"

"Dating, seeing, going steady," she confirmed, "whatever the kids are calling it these days. Ah, but you didn't answer me, though." The woman paused then, trying to get a better look at Levi's expression. Was he blushing? No, impossible. Maybe? "Has your sweet talk finally worked? Are you finally off of the market?"

Levi had been toying with a few of his blush brushes, while his client continued to pester him. As much as I wanted to hear what he had to say as well (because as far as I was concerned, Levi was as single as they come), I had to admit that I was a bit displeased with the woman's pushy nature about the subject. Dating was a personal affair and she had no right to pry into his privacy. Levi would be able to handle it, right? He was such a good actor. A simple question like this, it would be a walk in the park for him.

And I was right.

Spinning on his heel and characteristically sticking out his hip, Levi scoffed and cast his fringe out of his face with a swift shift of his head. Whatever he had to say, from his dramatic demeanor alone, I knew it would be golden. "Me? Single? Oh, pish posh, sweetie. I've been exclusive with someone for over a month now. Where have you been?"

What? Over a month? What was Levi talking about? Like I said, as far as I was concerned...

Unaware of this, the woman seemed very impressed by his remark. "Oh, really? Good for you! What's his name?"

Levi rose an eyebrow at her, probably because she was automatically assuming that who he was dating was another guy, but who could he fool? This version of Levi was as straight as a diagonal zigzag. "His name?"

"Yes, his name. Surely he has one."

I didn't know why, but I felt completely on edge. Who was this person that Levi had supposedly been dating for over a month? I'd never recalled seeing him before. Unless, was he referring to Erwin? That couldn't have been right. Even though they claimed to be friends, I could tell from their interactions alone that they weren't  _that_  close. Either that, or maybe they'd grown apart somehow. Still, just who did Levi-?

"He does," Levi smirked pridefully. "His name is Eren."

Did he...? Did Levi...? Did I just hear him correctly?

My wings began to flutter once more, but this time, for an entirely different reason. Me? Levi was pretending that he was dating  _me_? Suddenly, everything was happening so fast that I didn't have the chance to properly get a good look at Levi's visage before he and the woman were packing up and getting ready to head out to the front of the salon.

Trailing behind the both them in a mess of my own thoughts, I repeatedly told myself to calm down. Levi was an actor, and a darn good one at that. For a second there, he had really me fooled. But then again, what if he wasn't lying? Pieces of what he had said  _were_  true, like the fact that he and I had been "exclusive" for a month now. Breaking his statement apart, I took it as the idea that  _I'd_  been exclusively attached to him, not the other way around. Still, I wouldn't have a definite answer until I asked Levi himself. Luckily, his shift was just about over.

After the woman had paid, tipping Levi heavily for the upcoming holidays and purchasing her grab bag gift, she took her leave. Levi ended up heading toward the back room again to finish cleaning up a few odds and ends here and there. I knew that it was in his nature to seem relatively unfazed by these sorts of things, and it was apparent that this event had been no exception. With my question still lingering on my tongue, waiting to be asked, wanting to be spoken, I opened my mouth to do so, but was promptly halted when another person entered the room.

The distinguishing sound of her high heels clicking against the floor had been a dead giveaway as to who it was. It was Mikasa. "Eren, I'd like to talk to you for a minute."

It had been a while since she and I had conversed openly together. Actually, the only time I remembered ever doing such a thing was when she had told me of her dream and had asked me if I used to be her brother. That made me wonder...was she still having those dreams?

"Oh! Sure," I smiled, quickly stumbling my way over to her. For a make-up room, the area sure was cramped and pretty crowded. "What is it?"

"I wanted to give you this," she said, holding out her hands. She was offering me what looked to be a small box of some sort. "I know I can't hand it to you personally, so here, allow me to set it down for you."

In doing so, I curiously watched Mikasa's every move. What was she doing? Why now, all of a sudden, when she and I had been practically unresponsive towards one another, was she giving me...a gift? It seemed odd and it made me feel guilty. I had nothing to give her in return.

Mikasa tapped the box with her finger, her nail sparkling a glossy red color, before looking back at me. "I want you to open it."

Never one to defy an order from her, I quickly did as I was told and grabbed for the box. It was light in weight, much lighter than I had expected it to be. What could have been inside, I wondered. Peeling off the top lid, I was presented with a flash of deep red. "What...is it?" I question carefully, but I was fearful that I may have sounded a bit rude.

"It's a scarf," Mikasa said, plucking the thick fabric out of the box. "I'm leaving for the Bahamas in a couple of days, so it's my early Christmas present to you. You should wear it. It's getting pretty cold outside."

Wait, Christmas present? Mikasa had actually bought me a Christmas present? Now I feel even  _worse_ for not giving her anything in return. "Mikasa, I don't understand," I whispered softly. "I mean, it's a lovely scarf and all, and I'm really grateful that you would go out of your way to buy me something so nice, but why would you-?"

It was no surprise that I had been interrupted. What  _was_  a surprise was that I was interrupted by the scarf being thrown at my face. "Restitution."

"...Huh?" I pulled the scarf off of myself.

Mikasa sighed and rolled her eyes. Somehow, when she did that, she looked an awful lot like Levi. I wouldn't dare tell her such a thing, though. "It means I'm returning the favor, Eren. Your favor."

That only made me even more confused. I folded up the scarf and placed it back into its box, before I asked, "My favor? What favor?" But with the spin of her heel, I had a feeling that our conversation was over.

Again, I was presented with another flash of red. As Mikasa took her leave, she grabbed a hold of her own scarf, the ones that she wore on the daily, and tossed it over her shoulder. The thin material of the fashion fabric had a way of floating ever so carefully against her form, allowing me the time to realize exactly what she had meant by saying that she was returning the favor.

"Oh, right," I murmured, my lips pulling upward at the corners, " _that_  favor."

 

* * *

 

I was glad that Levi didn't ask about what my conversation with Mikasa had meant. The only comment he had uttered about it was a playfully jealous, "How come  _I_  didn't get a scarf?" to which we both laughed. Some things about my past were better left private, and the tale of that scarf had been one of them. Besides, Levi had some explaining for himself to do.

I hadn't forgotten what he had said about me to that womanly client of his, and on route toward the apartment, with the sun barely hanging on to the sky, I mustered up enough will to question, "Levi, can you clarify something for me?"

A chilling wind blew between us. It rustled my feathers and caused Levi to fuss with the zipper on his thermal jacket. Getting it to cooperate with him, he asked, "Can you clarify what you need clarification on?"

I found his tone to be casual and relatively unconcerned, which made me feel all the more comfortable in asking him, "What did you mean when you told that woman that we were 'exclusive'? You weren't being serious, right?"

Just like he had done when his client had assumed for him to be dating someone of the same sex, Levi rose an eyebrow at me. Suddenly, I didn't feel so calm anymore. "I was being serious, actually."

Serious? He was being serious? My heart began to pound and the words that I wanted to say got caught in my throat. Perfect. "W-what do you mean?" I stammered.

Levi exhaled deeply, a puffy cloud of white expelling from both his mouth and his nose. "There's no need to get so tense, Eren. I mean, yeah, I was being serious, but I was also kind of kidding, too." If I thought that I had needed clarification before, I needed it a heck of a lot more now. Holding onto the notion that Levi had more to say, I kept quiet. "I'm sure you must have read between the lines as I was saying those things. If I know you, you tend to think a lot."

There was no use denying it. I  _did_ have a lot of thoughts. But hey, I had a lot of things to think about.

"I used the word 'exclusive' for a reason," Levi soon added, enticing the both of us to stop walking. "Unique, individual, and only; those are just some of the words that I feel describe our relationship to the letter. I'll let Grace-" that must have been the woman's name, "-believe what she wants to, but my statement stands true." While his words faltered, our feet began to carry us forward once again. That was when he had said something else, making me hold the very word he had used to a much higher standard.

"You are mine, Eren. You are my angel and my guard. But just as you are mine, I am yours. No false assumptions from anyone else can change that."

My features drew a blank, before a bashfully sincere smile spread its way along my lips. Levi was right - he always was - and I almost couldn't believe that he had just spoken something so meaningful. No matter what others thought of us, we were connected in more ways than one. We were bound by our past, our present, and our definition.

"Yeah," I agreed, allowing a faint blush to purposefully slip past me just this once. "No one can change that."

 

* * *

 

We returned to the apartment complex about ten minutes after we had had our heart-to-heart. Before today, I'd never even thought about putting a label on our current relationship, but I was grateful that Levi have been the one to do so, to chose a word for us. Inserting his key into the lock, Levi gave the doorknob a good twist before pushing the door open. The sight we were granted with was both confusing and exciting.

"What the  _Hell_?" Levi growled. In that moment, a green streamer had fallen directly on top of his head. "What  _is_  all of this crap?" By that, Levi was referring to all of the haphazardly strewn decorations that had either been pinned up, taped, glued, or just thrown about the expanse of the room.

"Isn't it wonderful?!" Hange beamed, his voice giving the impression that he was somewhere far off on the other end of the apartment. Soon enough, he came barreling around the corner of the entryway, both glitter and ribbons stuck to his messy hair. "They were on sale!"

" _Wonderful_?" Levi grumbled in repetition. "Erwin is going to  _slaughter_  you."

I nervously glanced back and forth between Levi's and Hange's completely opposite expressions. Hange looked as if the decorations were some of the best things in the world, while Levi appeared to want nothing to do with them. Torn between the different emotions, I decided to ask, "Hange, what are you decorating for?"

Gasping louder than was necessary, Hange threw his hands into the air as an act of celebration. "For Christmas, of course! It's just a few weeks away, you know! Aren't you excited?!"

With such a conceiving attitude emanating from him, it was hard not to be. However, that didn't change the fact that Levi was still acting like nothing short of a sour-puss. "You've never decorated for Christmas before," he groaned irritably. "Why are you making such a big deal out of it now?"

"Um, didn't you hear me?" Hange sighed. "They were on  _sale_. I wouldn't have have purchased them if they were full price, but look! Look, look! I even got this!" Down the hall, he was back again in a flash with some sort of leaf-like object in his hands. What was it? Noticing the furrow in the both of our brows, he quickly explained, "It's mistletoe, you guys!"

"Hange, I don't think-" Levi began to protest, but before he could utter another word, Hange teasingly dangled the marked-down ornament above his head.

"Uh oh!" he giggled. "Looks like someone's underneath the mistletoe!"

" _Hange_."

Again, my attention was drawn back and forth between Levi and Hange, whereas Hange's focus had been directly and only on me. "Come on, Levi!" he whined, provoking his friend. I already knew what he was about to encourage. "Eren's waiting!"

Waiting. Ha, if that wasn't a joke, I'd love to hear one. All of my life, I'd been waiting. Hoping and desperately longing, I'd been waiting for only some the simple things. To see his face, to hear his voice, to feel his touch; all of these wonderful things had finally been granted to me and yet, here I was, still waiting.

Even if Levi hated those cheap decorations to their glittery, plastic core, I only held feelings of gratitude toward them. It had been a month since I'd died. It had been a month since I'd become an angel. It'd been a month since I'd been reunited with Levi. And until that limp lump of mistletoe was hanging between our heads, it had been a month since I'd kissed him. Yeah, that's right.  _I_  kissed him.

Waiting makes an angel weary, and I was tired of feeling tired. Cautiously taking the initiative, I grasped Levi by his shoulders - feeling him jolt as I did so - and pulled his lips to mine in the form of a sweet, appropriate peck. He may not have been keen with the rules and regulations that came with owning mistletoe, but I surely was.

Our kiss lasted no more than a handful of seconds, and just like that, it was over. I had let him go, allowing his brain to process what had just taken place.

Hange congratulated me on being the first to issue such a bold move, while Levi stood dumbfounded. I saw his fingers touch where my lips had been only seconds ago, and before either of us could say anything about it, we all jumped at the sound of a slam. It had been the apartment's front door.

"Hange?" Erwin stated, keeping his voice low and steady. He didn't even have to ask who the culprit of such a ransacked catastrophe had been; he already  _knew_.

"Aye, aye!" Hange giggled, though his voice had lost most of its exotic energy.

"Why does the apartment look like an infant's art project?"

Not so certain of himself and his talent for home decor anymore, Hange minimally answered, "There was a sale..."

Glancing at both Levi and me as he walked by, choosing to believe that we were but mere victims of this whole mess, he pinched the clump of mistletoe out of Hange's possession and said, "I want everything gone by tomorrow morning."

Although Hange seemed incredibly dejected, Levi's relief put me at ease. He put so much effort into making the apartment look clean and presentable on every Wednesday that it must have been terrorizing for him to see it in ruins. Oh, well. At least I had gotten a kiss out of it.

"If I can get everything cleaned up by tomorrow," Hange spoke up, clutching onto a compromise, "can we get a tree instead? Come on, please? We don't even need to get a topper! We can use Eren!"

Levi sniggered at my evident look of disapproval of such an idea. But with one vote for it, one vote against it, and one vote neutral towards it, it was decided by a five-round match of rock-paper-scissors that on Christmas Eve and not a day earlier, we would have ourselves a Christmas tree...and I would be the tree topper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Now, I know you're probably all wondering, "Wow, Chappy! How were you able to get the chapter out so early this week!?" Well, that's because I'm shipping myself off to Anime Boston this weekend! Making it my top priority to get this chapter out before I left, with an hour and twenty minutes to go, I did it!
> 
> Anywho, as always, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Can anyone guess what the next one will be about? ;D
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read! It is always greatly appreciated!
> 
> \- Chappy
> 
> P.S. As a side note, I just noticed that the chapter 21 was posted on the 21st! Isn't that amazing?! I think so. *A*


	22. Forgotten Feathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feathers, feathers, feathers. Feathers everywhere.

It was funny how the days now seemed to run together, when before, it was almost as if I could pinpoint every single second within them. I call it funny, but maybe that's what it means to have finally established a routine. Just the same, all the same, Levi's life ticked by like a clock, and it was a structure that I had become a part of.

Every tick, every tock.

On Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, he worked at the beauty salon from either noon until five, or from one until six. Personally, I rather liked the latter shift for my own, selfish reasons. After all, later work hours meant sleeping in, and sleeping in meant getting to feel Levi's gentle, unconscious breathing against my neck as he clung to my wing for an extended amount of time.

I had even been able to understand the workings of both Hange's work and Erwin's class schedules, as well. Though both were much more flexible in their hours than Levi's, I was starting to get the hang of things. Not just simple things like schedules and such, but more important things, too. Like, actual  _angel_  things.

On December 13th, I'd mastered the art of landing gracefully. It took some much needed practice - difficult practice, considering the cold weather - but I'd finally learned how to balance the uneven weight of my wings and the sloppy placement of my footing. On December 17th, I'd been able to warm more than just Levi's hands, but his entire body. It was on route to the beauty salon when a large gust of snowy wind had chilled him straight to the bone. Pulling Levi aside, it was through a strong embrace and a heated hush that he was back to normal and better than ever. And lastly, on December 23rd, one day before the date that had been set for the purchasing of their Christmas tree, I had protected Levi yet again.

He had been stepping out of the shower, a task that I'd seen him do so many times before. As always, I tended to advert my eyes to the nearest body part that wasn't his face, his chest, or his hips. I was lucky that this time, I had chosen to take a nice long look at his feet.

With his left foot pushing against the bath mat that rested just outside of the tub, I noticed something amiss with the way that it curled against his pressure. Something in the adhesive backing must have given way, and just when Levi was about to take his second step forward, the mat had slipped behind him. Had I not been right there, characteristically sitting on the edge of the sink, Levi would have probably cracked the front of his skull against the harsh corner of the counter. He must have been grateful to get a face full of my feathers instead.

After the excitement of such an event had calmed itself down, Levi dried himself off and we made our way towards his bedroom. On route, however, we were stopped by something - well, someone - that caused the previously packed levels of enthusiasm to boot themselves right back up again.

"Eren! Levi!" Hange called to us, having just come in from work. Even though I probably shouldn't have, I found it relatively endearing that he had said my name before he had said Levi's.

My wings began to dip in a friendly manner, as I showed him a gentle smile. "Hello, Hange. Welcome back."

Although my greeting had been pretty formal, Levi managed to get his point across with a simple, "Hey."

Apparently, our reactions weren't excitable enough for him, so with a heavy gasp, Hange slapped his hands onto Levi's shoulders (I had my suspicions that he would have done the same to me, if he could) and said, "Where are your Christmas spirits?! Don't you realize what tomorrow is?!"

"Not Christmas," Levi scoffed.

Hange rolled his eyes. "Ugh, you take things way too literally. But it might as well be Christmas! Don't you remember why?"

I did, but seeing as Hange's attention was focused directly on Levi, I felt no inclination to intrude. But with a good round of seconds without a verbal response of any kind, it was almost necessary for me to say, "Aren't you guys getting your Christmas tree tomorrow?"

Lighting up like one, Hange squealed and spun off of Levi like a wind-up top. "That's right!" he proclaimed. "I'm glad someone hasn't forgotten! Thank you, Eren!"

Waving my hand to Hange to get him to settle himself down like it was no big deal, I looked to Levi to see what kind of face he was making. Not surprisingly, he seemed relatively unfazed by entirety of everything. That alone reminded me that his vote had been neutral towards the idea of a Christmas tree in the first place. Shaking his head and folding his arms, he sighed, "I wouldn't put it past Erwin to change his mind."

Hange stopped moving about immediately, his features struck with a pang of horror. "No, don't you dare say that," he whispered, sounding vaguely desperate. "This is our first chance to have a Christmas tree! He wouldn't do such a thing!"

With a shoulder shrug and a turn of his heel, I was following by Levi's side as he mumbled, "We'll just have to wait and see what kind of mood he's in, in the morning."

I had a feeling that Hange and I were the only ones hoping for Erwin to be in a good mood.

In Levi's bedroom, after he had disposed of his towel and gotten himself into a pair of flannel pajamas, he grabbed an empty waste bin, sat with me on the floor, and began preening my wings. It was something that he had taken up doing every Monday and Thursday in the evenings, after he had had his routinely shower. Truth be told, I wasn't alone in my benefits from these little sessions. Although the feeling of having my wings stroked and having the older, less radiant feathers plucked was like a gift from above, I was one-hundred percent certain that Levi enjoyed being able to touch the softness of my down just as much as I did, while also doing one of his most favourite things: cleaning.

"You don't have too many that need to be removed this time," Levi noticed, as he continued to comb his slender fingers through my feathers.

I sighed and allowed my neck to relax. "Really?" The word had been so air-filled that it hardly produced any sound. After clearing my throat, I tried it again. "Really? That's interesting. I had a lot of them that you needed to pick out last time."

Levi hummed in agreement, but mainly focused on his task at hand. Preening wasn't a two-minute job. With my "big-ass wings", as Levi liked to call them, it usually required about an hour to get everything cleaned up and in its place.

As Levi's hands coasted closer and closer toward the center of my back, where only a small patch of skin parted the both of my wings, I found myself having to bite my lip. It wasn't unknown knowledge that this area in particular was especially sensitive to a human's touch; it was the same for all angels. And when the tip of his pinky finger just barely grazed the start of my wing, a strong shudder ran straight down my spine.

"Oh, sorry," Levi whispered, retracting his hand instantly.

"No!" I spoke too fast. I took up a softer tone. "I mean, no, it's alright. It, uh, felt really good, actually."

"Is that so?" I nodded. "Hm, alright then."

Again, Levi moved his fingers towards the center of my back, but this time at a very slow pace. He was hesitant for his own reasons, but it was that faint reluctance that drove me absolutely crazy. My wings began to carefully flap at him, as I gently encouraged, "It's okay, Levi. You can touch me there."

When he finally pressed the ball of his palm against the lowest point of my shoulder blade, allowing the pads of his fingers to dance against the most tender part of my skin, it wasn't completely shocking when our reactions had been exactly the same.

" _Wow_."

For Levi, aside from my feathers, my skin must have been one of the softest things that he had ever felt in his entire. For me, it was nothing short of feeling the equivalent to muted ecstasy.

Not wanting to detour himself from his undertaking for too long, Levi massaged me there for only a handful of minutes before he was back at my wings again. Both sensations felt remarkably good in their own ways, so could I really complain?

With my right wing done, then my left, and only a small dusting of my feathers filling the bottom of the waste basket, Levi instructed me to flap my wings as hard as I possibly could while he held my hands to keep me grounded. This was in order to see if I had any loose feathers that he had failed to remove on his own. When the gust of my wings produced no such thing, Levi nodded and labeled his work a job well done.

He and I crawled into bed after that, and when I say crawled, I really mean it. From sleeping at the edge of Levi's bed, to sleeping beside him, to sleeping with him cuddled against my wing, now, Levi slept entirely within my arms and inside of the cradling nature that my feathers boasted.

"They're so damn soft, it's not even fair," Levi always seemed to murmur, before his fatigue consumed him whole.

My response would typically lean toward either a faint chuckle or a shake of my head, but no matter what, I would always end off the night by whispering, "Goodnight, Levi."

It felt strange to me that Levi hadn't had a dream about our past in quite some time. He would stumble on the sound of my name or mumble something audibly incoherent, but that was as far as his ramblings went. I couldn't tell if I was relieved by that or a little let down. As much as I craved for Levi to remember the small things about us, like how it felt to take each others' belt straps off after a long day of training, or how our eyes secretly met whenever they weren't supposed to, there were certain things that I  _didn't_  want him to remember, either. The Titans, the destruction, the death of his squadron.

The death of his lover.

Remembering certain things in fragments would have been ideal, but somehow, that was a wish that seemed far too good to be granted.

 

* * *

 

When the morning came, we would have never known it by the sunrise alone, but by Hange's joyous cheering instead. Levi was still in my arms and still dead to the world, but I had awoken at the drop of a dime by the sound of Hange's very distinct, "Yahoo!" coming from across the hall. If anything, his volume must have woken up Erwin, too.

Curiosity made me want to creep into the living room and see what kind of reaction Hange's outburst would receive, but my better judgment and my better purpose kept me right where I was. Besides, I had a feeling that Levi would also be waking up soon, anyways.

With my premonitions seemingly always correct, his eyelids began to crease and his face scrunched up with much displeasure. Ah, yes. A morning person at his finest. Combing my fingers against his hair to make the trip back into consciousness one that was more enjoyable, I delicately breathed, "Good morning, Levi. I hope you slept well."

Although I had made a valiant effort, Levi still cussed as per usual and nestled himself deeper into my feathers. I wished that we could have spent the rest of the morning like this, but if such a tender moment were to last any longer, I could almost guarantee that Hange would come busting through Levi's bedroom door. I wasn't grabbing that idea out of thin air, either. It had happened before. That was how Hange had figured out that Levi and I were "sleeping" together.

"Hey," I sighed, doing my best not to sound too motherly, "what kind of attitude is that? Aren't you excited to pick out a Christmas tree?" A rude grumble was all that I had received in return. "Well, I'm excited. It's been a while since I've had a one."

Levi finally turned his face away from my feathers. "Wait, what?"

I smiled. "Good, you're awake."

"No, what were you saying?" he inquired, whilst both yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "What do you mean it's been a while since you've had a Christmas tree? Didn't you have one in your last life?"

I shook my head, but I also shrugged. "Well, yeah and no. We used to have one, a fake one. We'd put it up the day after Thanksgiving every year. But that quickly changed after Dad left." Silently, Levi continued to listen to what I had to say. This was the first he had ever heard of my father, and it was the first time where I had actually felt comfortable enough to discuss anything regarding him. "After that, Mom didn't really feel like celebrating much of anything. In one go, she told me all about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny not being real. It was easier for her that way. She could explain to me that she didn't have enough money for certain things, without having to worry about me feeling like I'd been left behind by the magical staples of a child's fantasy. So, even though something like a Christmas tree may not seem like that big of a deal, it's just one of those things that you don't realize you really miss them until they're gone."

Dumbfounded by my story, Levi stared at me like I was the most interesting thing in the world, which, I don't mean to brag but - yeah, I'm totally kidding. Uncertain of whether I should say something or wait for him to speak up first, I kind of just shifted around awkwardly until I opted to say, "Um, is everything alright?"

My hesitant question had been the much needed elixir to pull Levi right out of his trance. "Yeah, I just...never knew that. You never told me about your family before."

Inhaling slowly, I displayed another shrug. "Technically, they're not really my family anymore."

"Well, yeah, but you still possess the memories of them. And having to harbor such ill feelings towards your father, man, that's gotta really suck."

I nodded, but at the same time, I had to disagree. "That wasn't the first lifetime where my father had left me," I said. "Ironically enough, it even happened in the same life where I had known you, so I ended up getting pretty used to it."

"No one gets used to abandonment, Eren."

I felt tempted to meet his gaze. "...Huh?"

"Rise and shine, my little snuggle bugs!" Hange shrieked, rapping his knuckles rapidly against Levi's door. "I hope you two are decent, because I'm coming in!"

Even with his hardy warning, Hange managed to sufficiently scare the complete crap out of both Levi and me, when he came rushing into the room and crashed landed on top of the bed.

"Hange!" Levi snarled vehemently. He violently ripped the bedsheets off of the both of us and immediately used them to his advantage. His goal? Suffocate the absolute life out of his hyperactive friend.

Kicking his legs in his defense and batting his hands at the comforters, Hange pleaded, "I surrender! Levi, I surrender!"

Levi would have continued his act of murder, had I not rested my hand against his shoulder and coaxed him into a calmer state. If I hadn't wanted to sound like a mother before, I certainly must have sounded like one, when I said, "Levi, please stop. You're going to seriously hurt him."

"That was the plan."

A strong shove from Levi's foot sent Hange rolling off of the bed and onto the hard floorboards below. He ultimately landed directly adjacent to the waste basket from the night before, the one that contained all of my loose feathers. Suddenly, his interest had been piqued and he was marveling at the lackluster remains from one of my preening sessions. "Eren, how often do you shed your feathers like this?" he asked, with a voice full of wonder.

Still trying to process everything that had just happened, I nervously replied, "Erm, well, about twice a week. Why?"

"Fascinating..." Hange whispered. Fully restored, he was back on his feet and pointing an accusatory finger at the young man that had almost tried to take his life just seconds prior. "You! Get dressed! We're going Christmas tree hunting today!"

It was amazing how Hange could even justify ordering him around after such a catastrophe, but the truly outstanding turn of events was that Levi actually  _listened_  to him. With a string of cusses and colorful slurs, he climbed out of his bed and ruffled his messy hair. Gifting Hange with another shove, this time with his hip, he was strolling over to his large bureau with the intent of finding something to wear.

It took Levi a painfully long time to get dressed, and all the while, Hange was moaning and groaning, trying to do everything that he could to get him to hurry up. "Come  _on_ ," he whined, hanging himself off of the edge of Levi's bed. Upside down and acting like a child, Hange continued to complain every time Levi purposefully decided to change his overall attire for the fourth, fifth, even the sixth time. "You look fine! You're just doing this to make me upset!"

Shooting Hange a sideways glance, Levi snickered, "Is it working?"

"Yes! It is!"

Another chuckle and Levi finally gave in. Torturing his friend had been fun, but he'd had enough of it. Fluffing up his hair, throwing on a pair of black denim jeans, and fitting into a baggy pull over, he finally said the very words that Hange had been waiting for. "Alright, let's get Erwin and let's go Christmas tree hunting."

 

* * *

 

Now, this kind of hunting, I could handle...right?

After meeting up with Erwin and gathering together the split funds that would be used to purchase the tree, the four of us, myself included, made our way out of the apartment complex and into the streets of the suburban town. When I got the chance to think about it, it was quite amazing to realize that this had been the very first time since I'd been Levi's guardian angel where he actually participated in something that required both Hange  _and_  Erwin. That in itself made me question just how well the three of them got along when they were all together.

And soon enough, I got my answer. It was bad. Really bad.

We hadn't even made it halfway to the tree farm yet, and the three of them were arguing over what size the tree should be, how tall it would stand, and how much they should spend on ornaments. In the end, it was decided that they were to look for a small tree, relatively short in both length and width, and that there would be no ornaments.

The longer we walked (it was a frigid day and I refused to fly), the more I had to wonder just how Levi and the others planned on getting their tree back home. Would the tree farm provide them with a sled, or would they have to carry it over their shoulders the entire way? All of a sudden, they were bickering about something else, so I decided to keep my questions to myself and to just keep quiet.

A grand total of forty annoying minutes later, and we had finally arrived at Tracy's Tree Farm. With a name like that, I could only imagine that she had been born into her profession. The closer we got to the farm's entrance, however, the more we noticed that "Tracy" was nowhere to be found. Was it really okay to just walk right - oh, alright. Seeing as I was the only one who had faltered at the entry gates, apparently it was.

The vast assortment of pine trees and evergreens was a tad overwhelming, but it made me finally feel like the Christmas season was actually upon on. It was almost ridiculous to think that it was already Christmas Eve, but the idea alone only made me feel just that much more excited. My enthusiasm had been subtle; only the mere fluttering of my wings giving me away. Hange, though...

"Woohoo!" he shouted, happily racing into an opening that hosted a large pile of snow. "There's so many trees! There's so many of them!"

Erwin was pinching the bridge of his nose, and it made me wonder if this little field trip was starting to give him a migraine. "Yes, but we're only getting one, so it doesn't really matter how many of them there are."

With so many trees, so many  _big_ trees, I had to quietly. In that moment, I turned to Levi expectantly. My eyes were wide and patient, as I clutched my hands to my chest and waited for him to say what I really wanted him to.

"What?" He arched an eyebrow at me. If anything, my expectancy was probably freaking him out. "What is it?"

"Oh, you know," I tried to think of the proper words, "I was just waiting to hear your input. You know, about the  _trees_."

"Yeah? What about them?" He wasn't getting it, but I carried on.

"They're pretty  _big_ , right?"

"Most of them are, yeah. Why?"

With the shake of my head, I just let it go. There was no use fishing in a pile of sand. He called my wings what I had been hoping for, and that was enough for me. "It's nothing. I just just thinking about something stupid."

By the time we'd made it to a small patch of trees that were just the right size for the apartment, the owner of the tree farm (presumably Tracy), ran up to Levi, Erwin, and Hange and gave them a formal greeting. "Howdy there and welcome! I can see that y'all have found yourselves a nice bunch of little babies over here. If you're curious about the prices, just let me know!"

"Yes, actually," Erwin spoke up. He turned to the older woman in a way that made him appear as if he were much older than he actually was. "How much does a tree of this size typically cost?"

Tracy fit her thumb against her chin and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, let's see. These are some of my nicest firs, so I'll probably charge you guys about thirty bucks for one of 'em. Tax included. How does that sound?"

"That's a great pric-!" Hange began to say, but Erwin quickly silenced him by stepping forward.

"We're going to keep looking around, but thank you."

Understanding that her customers probably wanted some time alone to make some shopping decisions, Tracy nodded her hat to them and went off to help some more folks that had just arrived at her farm. Once she was completely out of hearing range, Hange scowled. "Why did you say that, Erwin?! Thirty dollars is a really good price!"

"It is a really good deal," he agreed, "but if we act like it's not, she may drop the dollar amount even lower. It's already Christmas Eve, and after tomorrow, that woman is not going to be making any income on these types of trees whatsoever. We're some of her last hope. You have to learn better patience and better negotiation skills, Hange."

In that moment, I'd nearly forgotten that I was listening to a college student who was studying to become a surgeon. Everything about what Erwin had just stated, how he held his chin high and lowered his voice, made me think of him as no one else but the thirteenth Commander of the Scouting Legion.

It had been settled not a minute later that we would split up, Erwin and Hange making one pair and Levi and I making the other. Fooling the eye by making it seem like they were still looking around, after thirty minutes of pointless browsing, it was by a unanimous vote that they were to purchase a small, three-foot fir that was about three and a half feet wide. With a such a tiny tree in their possession - one that Erwin had successfully been able to get at a further marked down price - my worries of how they'd be getting it home were entirely absolved.

 

* * *

 

"There!" Hange announced, having the grand honor of setting the tree into its mount. "It's the perfect fit!"

Both Levi and Erwin were visibly relieved. They'd ended up purchasing the small mount on a whim, not really checking to see if it would be the right fit for their little tree or not. Luckily, it would seem that it was. "Great," Erwin said. "That's that, then."

For a moment, everyone just kind of stared at the thing. It was so small and blatantly bare that I felt pretty sorry for it. If only there was something that they could decorate it with...

"Oh, my God!" Hange gasped, nearly giving me, and only me, a heart attack. Levi - save for this morning - was used to Hange's outbursts by now. Erwin, too. "I have the perfect idea!"

All of us watched as Hange ran off towards some undisclosed direction, and when he came back, he had the waste bin from Levi's bedroom within his hands.

"Hey, what are you doing with that-" Levi began to ask, but before any of us could even fathom what was going on in Hange's brain, he dumped all of the basket's contents onto and over their brand-new Christmas tree. Now, its branches were no longer bare; they were loosely coated with my forgotten feathers.

"There!" Hange stated proudly, for the second time. " _Now_ it's perfect. Well, almost. Eren, I still want you to be our tree topper! Oh, oh! And you know what I just thought of? What would make all of this even  _better_? If it was Levi's birthday tomorrow!"

Although Levi looked completely confused by such a random connection, my eyes went wide with remembrance. That's right. Hange was absolutely right. Back then, when Christmas trees didn't exist and Santa Claus wasn't even a fairytale that had been told to the children, Levi's birthday had been on December 25th: Christmas Day.

"Hange, what are you even talking about? My birthday isn't until-"

Interrupting him, Hange looked over at me. It prompted everyone to do so, as he said, "Eren, why don't you explain it to him? I'm sure he'd like to hear it from you best."

As much as I hated being put on the spot, I felt kind of grateful that Hange had passed _this_  baton over to me. December 25th had been special to us for more reasons than one, and with a deep inhale, I managed to say the rest of my words without a single stutter.

"In our lifetime together, your birthday was on Christmas, Levi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Wow, I can't even tell you how much I really enjoyed writing for this chapter! I hope the atmosphere that I created was something that you all enjoyed reading, as well!
> 
> Anywho, I have a big announcement! As of this chapter, "Feathers and Follies" has reached over 100,000 words! For me, personally, this is a huge, huge, HUGE accomplishment and I am so grateful for my readers and my supporters that have made me smile and left me lovely comments along the way! Seriously, you guys are amazing! I can't thank you enough!
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you so much for taking the time to read!
> 
> \-- Chappy
> 
> P.S. Here's a fun game! Count how many times the word "feathers" appears in this chapter, oh my gosh.


	23. Popcorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leg lamps and bunny suits. At least there's popcorn.

The reaction that I had received wasn't as revolutionary as I had been expecting. Then again, what had I been expecting? Levi had  _never_  been the type of person to get overly dramatic or excited over certain things, so why would this moment be any different? His birthday used to be on Christmas? Well, that's cool, I suppose. Now what?

"That's kind of interesting, I guess," Levi said, mostly out of sympathy and probably for lack of better word choice. "I don't see how  _my_  birthday would make tomorrow any more exciting, though. If anything, it would suck to have your birthday on the same day as Christmas. Not like it really matters in my case, but it's a total rip-off."

"But, but, but!" Hange pouted in protest. "You don't understand! Your birthday was really special, Levi! It was when Eren finally-!"

"Um, Hange!" I spoke up louder than I had initially intended to, but I had gotten my point across quite effectively. Yes, it was true. Levi's birthday had been special for more reasons than one, but it was those very reasons that I would have liked to share on my own terms. Luckily, with a dip of his head and a quiet apology, Hange had respected my wishes.

In that moment, I stole a quick glance from Levi. It was nearly no surprise that what Hange had said, or rather, what he had  _almost_ said, had piqued some of his curiosity. He wasn't curious enough, however, to discuss such matters in front of his roommates. Certainly, he and I would have a nice, long talk about his birthday when we had grabbed a moment or two to ourselves.

After a few minutes of awkward idling and consensual silence, Hange rose his hand. This stimulated Erwin to ask, "Hange, what are you doing? We're not in a classroom. What is it?"

"I have an idea!" he proposed, and with both parties knowing well enough that Hange's "ideas" weren't always the best ones, it was Levi who reluctantly asked the next question.

"And what is your idea?"

"You know how they show that one movie on Christmas Eve every year? You know the one that I'm talking about, right? Gosh, what was it called again? It's the one were the kid wants to get a rifle!" Hange could tell that his description wasn't making very much sense to either Levi or Erwin, so he continued to describe some other defining elements of the movie in as much detail as he himself could recall. "Um, um, there was also this one point where he swore and his mum made him suck on a bar of soap."

Levi and Erwin looked to each other, before looking back at Hange. It was Levi who questioned, "What the Hell are you talking about, Hange?"

All the while this little scenario played out, I had begun to feel like a student myself. I knew the answer, and more than anything, I wanted to just blurt it right out. Hange was clearly referring to the movie  _A Christmas Story_. I would know, because I used to watch it with Mom every year. It was the only tradition of ours that hadn't been stashed away after Dad left, so it was kind of a big deal for the both of us. We used to make homemade popcorn and sit right in front of our TV set, while the movie aired. Sometimes, we would even watch it more than once.

Mom will be watching it all by herself this year.

"Hange," I finally managed to say, "I think you're talking about  _A Christmas Story_."

Gasping like he'd been holding his breath for minutes, Hange slapped his hands over his face and made a oval-like shape with his lips. "That's it!" he shouted. "That was the movie!"

With all eyes on me, I was beginning to feel a bit self-conscious. I felt even more so, when Erwin was the one who addressed me next. "Eren, how did you know that?"

Were Hange and I the only ones that watched TV around here? Actually, putting more thought into that, I started realizing that we were. The only time Levi seemed to flip the television on was when the local news was broadcasting. Other than that, Hange pretty much controlled the thing. I don't even think I had ever seen Erwin watch TV at all.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I simply stated, "Um, it's kind of a classic, so..."

Hange backed me up, by saying, "That's right! It  _is_  a classic, and I say that we all should watch it! Come on, we can make it a tradition! A real, American tradition!"

Levi sighed and folded his arms over his chest. "Hange, you're acting like you just moved here."

In a huff, he mirrored Levi and folded his arms as well. "Fine, then let's make it our  _own_  tradition. Just the four of us! You, me, Erwin, and Eren!"

Wait, me? Was I really being included as a part of their tradition? If I hadn't been included in their entire Christmas tree endeavor, why now?

Seeing as Hange's idea was relatively tame (I mean, how crazy can you get from watching a movie?), no one seemed all that opposed to his proposition. It was soon decided that, later that night, we would all gather in the living room and watch  _A Christmas Story_  together.

First mode of conduct, though, we needed snacks.

A brief sweep of the pantry, the cabinets, and the fridge only produced a bag of expired potato chips, a handful of frozen dinner meals, and an almost empty jar of peanut butter. By Hange's word, if we wanted to start our tradition the right way, we would have to stock up on some goodies.

"We are not going to the grocery store on Christmas Eve," Levi grumbled, as he shook the bag of chips. "I'd rather stomach these things than go through that chaotic mess."

Snatching the bag out of Levi's hands, which resulted in an angered "hey" from him, Hange promptly tossed it into the garbage can beneath the sink. "We're going and we're going to power through it. Me and Erwin, you and Eren, we'll split up so that we can get what we need and get the heck out of there a lot faster."

"We're only getting the essentials," Erwin made note to input. "Because of your Christmas vacation, and with Levi's hours being cut until January, we can only fit about fifty dollars into our budget. Does that seem like enough?"

That sounded like more than enough to me, but Hange seemed a bit deflated after hearing the figure that he had to work with. I think he may have been hoping for one-hundred dollars, yet he soon decided that fifty was plenty. After acquiring a piece of notebook paper and a pen, he began scribbling a list of all of the things that needed to be purchased. "We're going to need some more potato chips, some soda, a bag of pretzels, two boxes of those frosted animal crackers, and..." He paused in thought. "You know, I think that just about sums it up. Is there anything else that we need?"

I wanted to say it, I really did, but I had to question my authority. What say did I have in the food that I wouldn't even be consuming? And yes, in the past month, it was violently discovered that my angelic composition could not properly digest human food. I would still enjoy being able to smell it, though...

"...Hange?" I meekly questioned.

He looked up from his list. "Yes, Eren? Did I forget something?"

"No, you didn't exactly forget it, but I was just wondering if maybe, if popcorn could be added to the list?"

Hange blinked once, twice, three times before he slammed his hand against the kitchen counter in a hurry, causing his pen to bounce. "Oh, my God, Eren! Of  _course_  popcorn can be added to the list! Like, duh! What was I even thinking? Who can watch a movie without popcorn?! Uh, the answer is no one, that's who!"

Although I was relieved that we would have popcorn during our little movie party, I noticed that I was getting a very backwards kind of glare from Erwin. "Why should it matter to you what we end up buying? It's not like you can eat any of it anyway."

That was true, very true, but the way that Erwin had said it made my throat clench and my wings stiffen. "I-I know I won't be able to eat anything that you guys get, but having the smell of popcorn while watching a movie will be somewhat comforting, I think." More comforting for me than for anyone else.

When Erwin finally let my comment about the popcorn slide, Hange's list was complete: a two-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper, a two-liter bottle of Sprite, a family-sized bag of original potato chips, a small bag of pretzels, two boxes of "those frosted animal crackers" that you get at the circus, and a box of popcorn kernels.

 

* * *

 

By the time we arrived at the grocery store, Levi's bad feeling had come true: the place was absolutely packed. With all of the shopping carts in use and the number of baskets rapidly dwindling, Erwin and Hange quickly snagged a basket for their team, while Levi grabbed one for us.

"Okay, this is how it's going to go down," Hange said, raising his voice to be heard amongst all of the other people. "Erwin and I are going to get the sodas, the chips, and the pretzels. Levi and Eren-" it felt odd to be blatantly referred to in public, "-you two are in charge of getting the frosted animal crackers and the popcorn. Any questions? Are we good?" We were, by all means, very good.

When we'd detached ourselves from Erwin and Hange, I had to admit that I felt just the slightest tinge of relief. Being around two polar opposites, one that loved me and another that wanted nothing to do with me, wasn't exactly the easiest situation to undergo. With only Levi by my side, someone who I  _knew_  appreciated my presence, it was a nice change of pace. "I want to kill everyone in this damn store." Yes, a nice change of pace, indeed.

I chuckled at Levi's comment with slight amusement, but I truly did sympathize with him. He kept getting bumped and shoved aside, and although I fazed through the many people that passed my way, shopping carts were an entirely different story. I had my toes rolled over and my wings clipped by their cornered edges more times than I could count, before we had reached our first destination: the cracker aisle. After chucking two boxes of frosted animals crackers into his basket, Levi said, "Alright, let's get the Hell out of here."

"Wait!" Just like earlier, I had spoken louder than intended. I quickly corrected myself and took up a tone that was far more reserved. "...We still have to get the popcorn."

Levi groaned dramatically, even tilting his head back as he did so. The action in itself allowed me to see the clear curvature of his Adam's apple, along with the way that it bobbed up and down as he said, "Crap, that's right. Okay, come on. Let's go."

We carried on down the aisle, dodging a few more shoppers, before we were once again thrown back into the pit (or, you know, the main passageway). I'm pretty sure I had witnessed one woman about to annihilate another woman for purchasing the last Butterball turkey, but such is the nature of the holidays, right? Feuds and foods.

"Hey, Levi!" I heard someone call out from a couple aisle-lengths away. Lifting our eyes to look above the sea of heads, we were able to see that it was Hange who had been trying to get his attention. "We got all of our stuff! Is there anything else that you guys still need?"

"Popcorn!" Levi shouted back, earning him a confused glance from an elderly woman that was passing by him on one of those scooter-operated carts.

"Oh, we already got that! It was in one of our aisles, so we decided to pick it up! Just meet us in the front!"

"Will do." Levi had only muttered the words, before he turned on his heel and made a beeline straight for the grocery store's entrance. It wouldn't have been true to nature if he hadn't been bumped into at least one more time, and when it had happened, I could tell that he was one-hundred, no,  _one-thousand_  percent ready to go home.

The grand total of our purchases amounted to a whopping twenty-six dollars and forty-five cents, which was just a smidgen over half of the amount that Erwin had budgeted for everything. Although Hange suggested that they head back and buy some more stuff, Levi deliberately stated that he was not liable for any of his actions if he was forced to go inside of that store again. It was immediately decided that they had enough food in their bags and would save the remaining amount of money for a possible, although not probable, party for New Year's Eve.

Once we were back at the apartment, Levi helped Hange take all of the items out of their bags. While they were busying themselves with things like bowls and cups for the chips and soda, I lingered around the kitchen's entry. I made sure not to get in Levi's way, whilst also making sure that he was alright. I didn't want for another event like the night prior to occur.

As I mindlessly watched Levi from afar, I was able to make out the distinct sound of a door closing. Wait, whose door had that been? It wasn't the bathroom door, that was for sure, and the front door had already been closed. Was it Erwin's door? Fighting between whether I should investigate the perplexity a bit further or just leave it be, I was marginally grateful to hear Levi say, "Eren, go check on Erwin. I think he just went into his room."

"Will you be okay for a few minutes?" Hey, I'm an angel. It's in my nature to ask these sorts of things.

"I was fine for nineteen years," he exhaled. "I think I'll be fine for two seconds."

"No worries, mate!" Hange giggled. "I'll make sure Levi is good and safe, while you're gone!"

"Never mind. Eren, don't leave."

I laughed awkwardly, as I began to step backward. Levi had to be joking. He didn't actually want me to stay, right? Luckily, Levi knew me well enough to understand that I'd need another nudge of encouragement to leave him completely. After seeing him shoot me a playfully wink and a shooing hand, eventually, I felt comfortable enough to slip out of the room and move down the hall.

Since the very first night that I had returned to Earth, I hadn't actually ventured anywhere near the western region of the apartment. Levi's bedroom was located on the east end, and the living room and the kitchen were directly in the middle, so I had no reason to do so. Stepping closer and closer to Erwin's bedroom, it almost felt like I was walking on the borders of something horribly taboo.

I hesitated in front of his door. Just like we had originally suspected, it had been closed. But was it locked? I wouldn't  _dare_  test the knob, not before knocking first. So, giving the doorframe a few raps, I announced my presence. "Erwin? Are...you in there?" There was no response. "...Erwin?"

When he didn't response after my third round of knocks, I was thrown into a panic. Was he okay? I mean, I knew that I shouldn't have been placing his well-being on such a high pedestal, but I wasn't going to just let him sit in his bedroom and die if there was anything that I could do to prevent it. After knocking one last time, I let myself in.

Erwin's bedroom was nice,  _really_  nice, nicer than I would have expected. The walls were lined with bookshelves, containing books from all genres, and the floor hadn't a single scrap of clothing on it. His bed was neatly made, with the comforter pulled tight and tucked on all four corners. Everything seemed so orderly and in its place...except for his desk. That was a different story. Upon closer inspection, I was able to deduce that he was not a neat worker. He had text books strewn about, and study materials laying with pages open and tabbed for importance. Although he wasn't the tidiest student, I had to give him credit for being such an avid learner. And just what  _was_  he learning about exactly?

Careful not to mess up his study station, and not paying too much mind to the fact that I had no idea where he was, I picked up one of Erwin's books and flipped it over to read the title. My eyes widened.

Hearing the door close for a second time caused me to nearly jump right out of my feathers. Hearing Erwin's voice, however, made me want to recede into them. "What do you think you're doing in here?" he asked quickly, his voice stern and direct.

At a loss of words myself, I stammered on the third vowel while I attempted to put his book back down. "I-I...I was just..."

"You were just  _what_?" He wasn't playing any games with me. He wanted my answer immediately.

"I-I...I came to see why you were in your room." I needed a better excuse than that, or else he wouldn't buy what I was trying to tell him. "Levi heard your door close, s-so he sent me to come and find you."

"Well, you found me. Now get out."

"Wait..." I lamely protested, dragging out the statement. "Aren't you going to watch the movie with everyone?"

Erwin took two steps closer, while I took two steps back. "I have no interest in a movie that has no educational purpose, so no. I will not be joining you."

"Educational purpose"? Was he being for real? What kind of logic was that? Didn't this guy just like to have some non-educational  _fun_  every once in a while? Feeling it best not to overstep anymore boundaries, I claimed my earnings while I was still ahead and decided to leave the movie thing as it was. His book, though... "Erwin, can I ask you something?"

"I'd rather you not."

Whatever he would rather or rather me not do, I couldn't just let my eyes forget what they had seen. "I'm sorry, but this book, why do you have it? Do you...know what any of this means?"

Just when I'd realized that I was stilling holding onto it, Erwin snatched the book out of my hands and slammed it shut. The loud thump of the pages coming into contact with one another gave me the impression that our conversation had ended, but I was soon proven wrong. " _The Fall of the Wall_ ," he said, reciting the title of the book. "Of course I know what it means."

I was beginning to feel that distinctive itch from being away from Levi for too long, but this was something important. This was something that I needed to know. Did Erwin...? And if so, why didn't he...? "You do?" For whatever reason, my voice had dropped into a whisper. "But..."

Promptly turning around and meeting my baffled gaze, I wasn't able to understand the expression that Erwin was showing to me. It was almost concerned, yet heavily overpowered by a sense of seriousness. If anything, he didn't look like a student who was studying to become a surgeon; he looked like a Commander.

And that's when he had said them. The words that would both confuse and relieve me all at once, he'd said them as if they were nothing, in a single, simple sentence. "I know what it means, because I was there."

Why he'd kept such a thing a secret, I wasn't sure if I would ever know. Regardless, I was suddenly aware that Erwin was not one of the lucky ones.

He remembered a world where there were Titans.

 

* * *

 

Keeping true to his word, Erwin had not joined us for the movie. The excuse that he'd given me to give the others was that he wasn't feeling well and wanted some rest. Both Levi and Hange weren't stupid and they knew that it was a total bluff, but neither chose to pursue him any further. If he wanted to miss out on junk food and a classic, then it was his own loss.

It wasn't until halfway through the movie, when the seemingly endless commercials began to roll, that we realized that no one had made the popcorn yet. Hange had volunteered to throw the kernels into the microwave, because he had to get up to use the bathroom anyways, but Levi ended up declining his offer. "That's alright. Eren and I will make it."

With our game plan set in motion, we split ways and took to each of our tasks. Hange needed to empty his bladder, and Levi and I needed to make some popcorn.

In the kitchen, I quietly watched as Levi opened the box of popcorn and pulled out one of the kernel bags. Reading over the instructions, he determined that two cups of popcorn would be enough to serve both himself and Hange. "It's a shame that you can't eat any of this stuff," he said, placing a covered bowl into the microwave. After setting the appropriate time, he added, "I can tell that popcorn is pretty significant to you."

I was shocked. Actually, no, I wasn't. Levi had been able to read people like books for as long as I could remember. I guess, more than anything, I was feeling touched. "Oh!" I said, suddenly feeling the need to explain. "Yeah, kind of. You see, my mom and I used to make popcorn, when we would watch this movie together. It's like Hange called it; it was a tradition of ours."

There was a bit of a pause, before Levi ended it. "I understand." Another pause. Again, Levi broke it. "It must be tough for her this year."

Just as I was about to agree, the first kernel of popcorn had popped. Going completely unnoticed by Levi, the small sounds of popping had instantly grasped my attention. I mean, aside from the taste and the smell, wasn't the popping the most exciting part? I thought so, at least.

When the microwave beeped and the last kernels of popcorn had met their doom, Levi grabbed a nearby hand towel in order to pull the bowl off of its spinning tray without burning himself. With the goods safely cooling on the countertop, his mission was accomplished. Well, one of his missions.

With a deep inhale that was followed by a breathy exhale, Levi closed the door to the microwave and leaned himself against the back of the counter. From his body language alone, I knew something that had been weighting on him was about to be said. "Eren," he began, "there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Oh, I was just that good.

By now, I should have been able to expect questions and calmly reply to him like it was nothing at all. Yeah, but no. With my heartbeat starting to pick up in pace, I tried not to sound too cautious, when I returned an ask of my own. "Yes? What is it?"

Taking another moment for himself, Levi eventually caved to the quiet and let me know what was on his mind. "I wanted to ask you what was so special about my birthday. I thought nothing of it, until Hange made it sound like some sort of big deal." He looked to me with mildly questionable eyes that I obviously would not be able to deny. "So, will you tell me?"

My hand and my neck surely must have been becoming quite the acquaintances, considering that this was the second time that day that I had taken to nervously rubbing the back of my neck. It was a nervous tic of mine, what could I say? Just like how my wings had come alive and began flapping in an anxious flutter, it was with subtle secrecy that I said, "I have no problem telling you, but, um, are you sure you want to know why?" Well, that was silly of me. He wouldn't have been asking, if he didn't want to know. Nevertheless, Levi thrilled me by giving me a silent nod.

Inhaling a great big breath, much like the one that Levi had taken himself, I released my hold at the very same time that I'd released one of the most important, most guarded memories from my past.

"Your birthday was special, Levi, because it was the day that I had confessed my feelings for you."

In the other room, the movie had come back on. Like clockwork, we heard Hange leaving the bathroom, and in a hurry to meet up with him, I quickly told Levi that if there was anything else he wanted to know about his birthday, we could discuss it in bed - um, in his bedroom. But by the time the movie had finished, and all of the snacks had been cleaned up and put away, Levi was too tired to do much of anything other than to slip into a pair of pajamas and to climb into bed. I really couldn't blame him, though; today had been pretty wild.

As per usual, Levi cuddled against my wing and I cradled him into my arms. He had made a minor complaint about being cold earlier, so I made sure to keep him nice and warm as he drifted off to sleep. With his eyes closed and his breathing steady, I was almost certain that he had started to doze, but was soon proven to be sorely mistaken. He had parted his lips to speak. "Eren?"

"Mhm?"

"When you confessed your feelings for me, did I return them?"

I was briefly stunned by his question, but after pleasantly reliving the memory for a moment's reprieve, I found it in myself to stroke a few strands of his dark hair and quietly murmur, "Yes, you did."

Following a moment of his own, it was apparent that Levi felt the need to ask me one more question, and it was one that I hardly minded answering. "What did I say, when you told me how you felt?"

The recollection had been fond, so with a breathy chuckle and a faint smile, I allowed myself to dive into the past once again, pulling from its depths the response that Levi was looking for.

"You said, 'It's about time you spit it out, kid.'"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here! 
> 
> Christmas in April, anyone? Wow, I don't know what it is about these Christmas chapters, but I'm absolutely loving getting to write for them. I hope that you all are enjoying them, as well!
> 
> The next chapter is going to be pretty special, and I'm super excited start writing it! I hope you'll look forward to it!
> 
> As always, thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	24. Merry Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it a birthday party, or a Christmas party? How about a Christmas-themed birthday party?

"Corporal Levi, sir... I'm sorry for pulling you away from your meeting, but there is something important that I would like to tell you."

Did he really think that I hadn't caught on to his sideways stares and his muffled gasps, every time he looked my way? Did he really think that all of his extra efforts and extended hours in my stay had gone entirely unnoticed? Did Eren really think that this little confession of his was going to be some sort of surprise to me? Because it wasn't. Actually, I probably knew that this kid had feelings for me before he even recognized them for himself.

"Go ahead," I addressed him.

It would never cease to amaze me how the very same boy that got so fired up about killing Titans and the freedom of humanity became an absolute doe, when he was in my presence. Was it flattering? Mildly, but if anything, it was kind of annoying. Too bad I'd already fallen sucker for his little quirks.

As he scratched at the base of his neck, his fingers unintentionally sliding against the outline of his very own clavicle, I found myself feeling more and more intrigued by just how he was going to go about saying something so personal to me, his superior. Personally, I would have just laid it on him, but this wasn't my confession to tell. Everything had to come from Eren, and so I waited.

Patience was a virtue that I was not very fond of, and after what could have been two minutes too long of utter silence, I had to do something about it. "Eren, I need to get back to my meeting. If you're not going to say-"

"H-happy birthday!" He spoke the words so rapidly that he almost choked on them. "Happy birthday, sir!"

I didn't know what surprised me more: the fact that he'd completely caught me off my guard and had said something that I wasn't expecting, or the fact that he had pathetically pounded his fist against his chest and had offered me his heart in doing so. How would I even respond to such a silly show? "I beg your pardon, Eren?"

I saw the intensity of his salute loosen, as his fingers began to twitch. With his arm lowering to just above his midriff, he repeated, "Uh, happy...birthday, sir? Wait, did I get the date wrong? December 25th, that's your birthday, right?"

Oh, he was right. It  _was_  my birthday, but what did it matter? Another year older, another year that I get to witness humanity spiraling downward into these waste heaps that we call walls. "No, you are correct, but how did you acquire this information?"

"Squad Leader Hanji told me," he said cautiously. "About two weeks ago, she and I were discussing when my next experimentation session would be. That was when the topic of Christmas came up. She said that she didn't want to do any procedures on that day, because it was your birthday."

Of course she didn't. Just like every year, she probably had some stupid, Christmas bash planned in my honor. She knew that I hated parties to their very core, yet she never failed to "surprise" me with one.

There was a brief period of silence, when suddenly, Eren grabbed my attention by speaking again. By now, his salute was gone and his expression was remorseful. "Was it wrong of me to wish you a good birthday, sir?"

What could I say to that? Technically, it was wrong of him. This hadn't been the statement that I was looking for. However, saying something so brutally honest would crush the little bit of self-esteem that he had left around me, so I opted to phrase my wording in a much more conversational method. "No, it wasn't wrong of you. In fact, it was rude of me not to thank you. I had just been expecting you to say something else, that's all."

"Oh, um..." He began to play with the leather straps that hung from his shirt. Had saying that really triggered one of his nervous tics? "...I wasn't finished."

Oh.

"I can see that you have to get back to your meeting, though, and I understand. I can finish telling you later. Actually, I'd almost prefer that."

Having to wait  _again_  for something that I already knew felt redundant and pointless, but I couldn't force it to happen any faster. As I mentioned before, this was something that had to come from Eren and Eren alone. If I'd already waited months for this moment, I could wait a couple more hours.

But waiting was a dangerous game in our world. Wait too long, and you just may miss your chance. Luckily, that wasn't the outcome in our case.

After I'd given him permission to inform me of his "important announcement" later that evening, I returned to my meeting. Our discussions of strategical layouts and upcoming expeditions was mere background noise to my buzzing thoughts. There was no doubt in my mind that Eren was going to confess to me tonight. More than anything, I just wanted to know  _how_  he was going to do it. Would he have the guts to tell me straight up front, or would I have to coax it out of him just like I had to with his birthday wish? Maybe a couple of hours was all the time he needed to grow a pair. Hopefully he wouldn't get too ballsy, though. I could hardly imagine having Eren pinning me up against a wall and hissing his love confession at me. He didn't have it in him. Not around me, at least.

By the time the meeting had concluded, three minor expeditions had been scheduled, two experimentation sessions had been approved, and one large-scale mission had been arranged. All in all, we were signing off on death wishes, not birthday ones. That reminded me; as of this early evening, Eren had been the only one to-

"Ooh, I found him! There's the birthday boy! Hey, Levi!" Never mind.

Waiting for Hanji to catch her breath after she'd come barreling down the corridor, I folded my arms and glanced at her judgmentally. "What do you want, four eyes?"

Still sucking in copious amounts of air, which made me wonder if she was starting to fall out of shape, she panted, "L-Levi! Come with me!"

I had every intention to ask her why she wanted me to join her at some undisclosed location, but before I had the chance to, her energy was miraculously restored and she was pulling me by the arm. Hanji knew full well that I loathed being tugged along by force, and after ripping my wrist from her grasp, I scolded her for her obnoxious behavior. She apologized, but given that she was laughing while she spoke, I hardly took her words to heart.

"Sorry, sorry! I'm just really excited!"

"Why?" I groaned, as I began to fix the wrinkles that her grip had left on my uniform. "Did you take a successful crap, or something?"

Finding humor in everything, Hanji threw her head back and began cackle. "Oh, aren't you funny!"

"I wasn't trying to be."

She slapped my back. "Now, now. No need to be a sour puss on your birthday, hm? Besides! I have something super special planned out for you that I just  _know_  you're going to love!"

Well, that was peculiar. This was the first time that Hanji hadn't actually tried to make a surprise out of my birthday party. Just what was she planning? "What, you're not going to try and surprise me this year?"

"Oh, I already know that you've caught on to my yearly, birthday party regime," she chuckled, "so there's no worries in telling you about that. Still, I have a feeling that you're going to be  _very_  surprised by some of the things that you are going to see tonight!" Hearing that from Hanji didn't leave me the least bit pleased. Then again, her surprises weren't worth my worries. I was relatively certain that there was absolutely no way that she could pull a fast one on me.

And boy, had I been wrong.

Guiding me into the main dining hall, the same old, boring place where all of our meals were consumed, Hanji instructed me to close my eyes and count to ten. When my lips remained unmoving, she chided, "Levi, count to ten!"

"I'm counting in my head, idiot." I wasn't counting in my head.

"Fine, fine." Sighing, she gave me a gentle push forward. "Just make sure that you don't open your eyes, until you reach ten."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it." Finally giving in to her nonsense, I decided that mentally listing off numbers in chronological order could do me no harm. I began to count.

One; she gave me another push forward. Two; I heard her pull out a key. Three; the dining hall's door was unlocked. Four; footsteps and boot scuffs were shuffling about the room. Five; hushed whispers were giving incoherent directions. Six; something broke. Seven; the hushed whispers turned into frantic ones. Eight; the sound of a broom furiously sweeping away the remains of glass drew my attention. Nine; everything was silent. Ten; I gave my warning.

"I'm opening my eyes now," I sighed, and honestly, it had been the first time where I felt unsure of what I would end up seeing. My arms had still been characteristically crossed over my chest, but after staying true to my own statement and opening my eyes, they soon fell limp at my sides. What was...?

"Merry birthday, Corporal Levi!"

The voices of many soldiers and comrades echoed throughout the hall. As my vision flitted back and forth between the sounds, I tried to take in as much of my surroundings as I could see. There were candles, metal pitchers, and rows of plates and forks all strewn about on the tables. I could smell food of some sort, probably a meat, but my nose could hardly pinpoint the type. Aside from them being the first things that had drawn me in, the tables and the smells weren't what I was interested in. The sight that stole my gaze was the faces of my squad, the faces of my subordinates, and the faces of my superiors, all gathered around an eight-foot tall evergreen tree. But this wasn't just any tree. The dazzling ornaments and the glitzy decorations made it special, gave it a purpose. This was a Christmas tree.

"...Not bad." It was the first thing that came to mind, as I entered the hall. This wasn't even a birthday party, not by my standards; this was a  _Christmas_  party. Hanji had never thrown one of these before. What made this year so special? Right on cue, she came bouncing my way.

"Do you like it?! Do you like it?! This totally surprised you, didn't it?"

Oh, surprise wasn't even the word to describe how I was feeling. Actually, I was pretty perplexed. "How the Hell did you get permission to do all of this?"

"I didn't," Hanji giggled. "Surprise!"

I could feel a headache coming on.

Of course she didn't. Permission or not, no one could deny that the hall had never looked this grand. Just the way that the lighting from the many candles were casting shadows on the floorboards, it was enough to convince me that they weren't made of rotting wood, but of the finest carve of mahogany. Funny, because I'd never actually seen mahogany for myself. I simply imagined that it would look this nice.

With a quick glance to my left, I was beginning to notice that my soldiers were starting to get a bit restless from standing around and watching as Hanji and I conversed. Saving them from their aching smiles and their weary legs, I produced a slight hand gesture that beckoned them to come forward. Instantly, I was swarmed by their excitement.

"Squad Leader Hanji is so cool, huh?!" Sasha chanted, stunningly the first one out of the bunch to speak. "She was able to arrange all of this in secret! And, and! She was even able to snag some lamb meat from the higher ups! We have it cooking right now and...oh, man. It smells so good!" Lamb. No wonder I couldn't decipher the scent. I knew I had smelled meat, but I couldn't determine which kind. Interesting. I'd never eaten lamb before.

Next, it was Connie. "Corporal! All of those ornaments were made by an actual glass blower! Squad Leader Hanji asked if we could borrow them for the day, so long as we promised to give them back. Jean...kinda broke one, though."

"Hey, I didn't break it!" Jean growled. "It totally just fell off of the branch on its own!"

"Boys, boys!" Historia intervened. "Settle down, please. Remember why we're all here."

That's right. They were here to celebrate my birthday. Hmph, what a strange reason.

Scanning the room once more, taking in its features for a second time, I was oddly starting to feel like something was missing. Honestly, though, would could  _possibly_  be missing from a room that was so ridiculously...nice? I would let it slide for now. There was a more important feeling that was weighting me down. "Hanji," I began, low and serious, "why did you do this? Last year, you gave me a plate of peanuts and had everyone dance around me. What made you think of all of this?"

Hanji blinked, before muffling a snort. It displeased me that she had slapped my shoulder. Why did she keep hitting me today? "Oh, Levi! I didn't think of any of this! I mean, granted I arranged everything-"

"You  _stole_ everything."

She swatted at my comment like it was a fly. "Yeah, yeah, sure. But anyways, the mastermind behind having a Christmas-themed birthday party like this...it was Eren."

Somehow, that had come as a shock to most of my squadron just as much as it had come as a shock to me. "Eren?" I questioned. "Eren thought of this?"

Hanji nodded. "Yup, yup! He thought of the whole thing. I mean, he obviously thinks that I got permission for supplying everything that's in this room, but those are very minor details." Yeah, very minor details that could have her head ending up in a guillotine. But really,  _Eren_  had thought of this? In the handful of weeks that he had accidentally known the date of my birth, he decided that he wanted to have a celebration for me? Why?

"Wait a second," I said, looking around the room for the third time. This time, I'd been able to foolishly figure out what had been missing all along. "Where  _is_  Eren?"

I saw his friends begin to look around with me, surprised to see that he wasn't in fact within their little group. Did he have that much of a lack of presence that they hadn't taken notice? That couldn't have been true. Eren always had a way of bringing the attention to himself. There was no way he could go unnoticed.

"You know," Historia spoke up, "I think I remember hearing him say that he forgot something in his room. I really thought that he would make it back by the time that Squad Leader Hanji had brought you here, sir, but apparently that isn't the case."

"I can go get him," Mikasa said, but much to her disdain, I quickly denied her offer.

"That's quite alright.  _I'll_  go find him."

It was inconsiderate of me to leave my own birthday celebration, and I knew that, but something in Eren's little ploy just wasn't convincing to me. How convenient of him to forget something at the very moment that he knew I was being brought to the dining hall. There was no way that any of this added up. What could have been misplaced? His three-dimensional maneuver gear? No, Eren hadn't forgotten squat. He was merely trying to lure me to him.

I had to give him credit where credit was due. The kid was smarter than I thought.

He must have known that such a big hoopla wouldn't have excited me like it had the others. He must have known that I would have been only momentarily intrigued by all of the decorations and the fancy candles. He must have known that I wouldn't have wanted to spend such a "joyous" affair without him being there as well. He must have known all of these things and had skillfully planned a way to distance the both of us from the celebration. Wow, and he'd even timed his interruption of my meeting just right. What an arrogant little brat. I was impressed.

The travel time from the dining hall to the barracks was not a very lengthy one, but it was distant enough for me to consider it a walk. Once I'd reached the door to Eren's room, I had a right mind to rap my fist against it and demand entry. But I was wiser than that. Instead of acting on instinct, I huddled next to the doorframe and listened in.

I was able to hear the heels of boots clacking back and forth against the stone flooring, signaling that whoever was on the other side of that door must have been pacing. "...To tell him." It was Eren's voice. "Just...him. Tell... It'll..." Alright, now the door was becoming a nuisance. Forget knocking, I opened it freely.

Gasping in a startled manner, Eren nearly stumbled over his own two feet as he whirled around to look at me. Obviously, he hadn't been expecting me to come so soon. Hey, at least we were even as far as unexpected surprises went. "C-Corporal Levi, sir!" he stammered. "What are you-?"

I interrupted him. "Save it, Eren. Just tell me what the Hell is going on here."

I didn't have time for him to beat around the bush again. I wanted answers, and I wanted them before their meanings became understated. You can't wait too long in this world. Eren should have known that better than anyone in these Godforsaken headquarters.

"I'm...guessing you saw the dining hall already, right?" Eren mumbled. His words had been so slurred that if I hadn't been giving him my one-hundred and ten percent, I probably wouldn't have been able to understand him.

I nodded. "Yes, I did. It looked nice."

"Squad Leader Hanji did a really good job with everything. I'm surprised you're not still there."

"Why would I be?" I questioned. "I had to come looking for you."

Eren's eyes widened. He knew that he couldn't cover his tracks any more than he already had, so with an awkward laugh, he threw in the towel. "You could have sent someone else to find me, you know."

I eyed him suspiciously. "But I didn't."

"Yeah, you didn't."

"Your sister offered to get you, though."

This was new information to Eren, and judging from his concerned expression, I could tell that he had been betrayed. Mikasa must have known what he was planning all along. "What did you tell her?"

"It doesn't matter." I was done playing games. Questions, detours, I was done with all of it. "You have something that you need to tell me, and it better be the very next thing that comes out of your mouth, or else-"

My teeth clenched. Literally. Against my lips was the feeling of something hard and sturdy, but it had come at me at such a fast rate that I had naturally closed my eyes. Upon re-opening them, I was able to see that Eren, too, had screwed his eyelids shut and had been the reasoning behind this sudden collision. I couldn't even justify calling it a kiss. It was a catastrophe.

I lifted my arm to him and tapped him on the shoulder. This action had been an attempt to get him to lighten up, to soften his lips a little, but it resulted in having him pull away from me entirely. He began spouting out his apologies.

"S-sir! I'm s-so sorry! I'm really very sorry!"

"What are you sorry for, Eren?" I sighed, straightening my jaw. "Are you sorry for kissing me, or for being so bad at it?" I could already tell that his answer would comprise of a little bit of both.

"Yes, and...yes?"

I'd worked long and hard to hear a confession out of him, so I wasn't just about to let him go and feel sorry for himself for doing one of the most daring things that he had ever done. I grabbed him by his shoulder, the same shoulder that I had just tapped. "If you're going to be sorry for something, be sorry for the fact that you've made me wait months, not days or weeks, but  _months_  for this moment."

"Corporal, you-?"

No, it was my turn to talk. "Say it, Eren. Tell me the reason why you wanted to celebrate my birthday. Tell me why we're here, in your bedroom, when the festivities are all in the dining hall. Tell me what you've been wanting to tell me since this afternoon. Chances are you won't regret it."

I'd done it. After mastering my words and crafting them into a way that would get through to him, I'd been able to see all of Eren's nerves all of his doubts melt away from his visage like some sort of magic. He'd finally come to terms with himself, with his feelings. He was ready.

Hearing the words that I'd been imagining him saying to me for such a long time, having them ultimately, actually spoken aloud, was surreal. Although I'd put a lot of thought into these daytime fantasies, I had always made sure not to build the event up in my mind too much or think about it in too much detail. This was simply out of fear that a shroud of disappointment would loom over his innocent confession. I didn't want that. What I wanted was for him to speak.

Inhaling a heavy breath, Eren rested a hand over his chest and nodded. What he was nodding for, I wasn't completely sure. Now that I thought about it, he was probably having an internal conversation with himself. A pep-talk of sorts. What he  _should_  have been doing was letting me know what was in his head and how he was feeling. But that was too much to ask for. I couldn't stress the notion enough, but whatever Eren wanted to say, it had to come solely from him.

And when it did, clenching onto his shirt as he spoke, I had a feeling that our lives had already changed forever.

"What I wanted to tell you was that...well, I love you, Corporal Levi."

I scoffed. Had I meant to scoff? No, maybe not, but everything about my reactions were natural. And what was feeling natural to me now was slipping my hold from Eren's shoulder to his hand, letting him know that his feelings were requited.

"It's about time you spit it out, kid."

Everything after that was...a blur? His hand was in mine and both our lips and our legs were intertwined. He was telling me things that I struggled to comprehend, but I couldn't make sense of anything. All I knew was that I could feel his presence. He was right there. He was with me. Holding me. Loving me.

 

* * *

 

I awoke to the ever comforting feeling of Eren's wing. A bit disoriented at first, I soon came to understand my surroundings and establish my location. This was my bedroom, namely my bed, and I was here with Eren. Ah, it must have been my favourite time of the day.

God, I hate mornings.

With subtle curiosity oddly overpowering my strong desire for sleep, I lifted myself up from Eren's feathers just enough to take a peek at my alarm clock. It was 4:34AM. Hange must have already left for the airport.

Blinking at the bright lights that molded into numbers, it took a second for my pupils to adjust to their wrath. When they had, I noticed that something was sitting on top of the snooze button. From my distance, it looked like a piece of paper. A note, maybe?

As I shifted myself to try and reach it, Eren's grip on my torso tightened protectively. He uttered a soft, sleep-laced groan of disapproval at me. It was cute the things that he did when he wasn't conscious.

I twisted in just the right way that, with a decent amount of effort, had allowed me to stretch my arm out far enough to pinch the piece of paper between my thumb and my index. When I brought it up to my face to get a better look, I was forced to squint in order to read the sloppy handwriting that was on it.

_I left the thing that you asked for beneath the tree._

_See you guys next week! - Hange_

Perfect.

Folding up the note, I tossed it back onto my nightstand and applauded myself for not letting it fall anywhere else. What I had asked Hange to get for me was still a secret to Eren, and I intended to keep it that way for a little while longer. As for now, I needed to go back to sleep. But first...

I couldn't exactly remember when I had taken up this habit, but ever since the very first time that I had awoken before Eren did, I had felt the unmistakable urge to kiss him. It wasn't like I was doing anything wrong; it wasn't like he and I hadn't kissed before. These were...a bit different, though. Just like what was hiding beneath our Christmas tree, I wanted to keep these kisses a secret for just a little bit longer. Hopefully Eren wouldn't mind it too much.

After pecking his lips in the way that lovers wished each other a good morning or a good night, I settled myself back into his hold and back into wing. From there, I allowed the wonderful comforts of both feathers and forearms to lull me back to sleep.

It was kind of a shame that I had woken up in the first place. I had a feeling that I had been having a really nice dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Surprise, surprise! This chapter was in Levi's point of view! I really hope that everyone enjoyed it! (:
> 
> The next chapter will be back to Eren's POV, but I hope you liked this little taste of what's inside Levi's head! It's a magical place, isn't it?
> 
> As always, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	25. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Santa Claus isn't real. Or is he?

There isn't a feeling quite like waking up on Christmas morning, knowing that Santa Claus and his reindeer have visited the house while you were sleeping. If you were good that year, chances are he left you some super cool presents beneath the tree that you and your family took hours to decorate. That plate of cookies and that cup of milk that was left for him? Yup, all gone. Just the excitement of waking up well before the sun has even risen, the thrill of running into your parents' room and jumping onto their bed, demanding for them to wake up, wake up, wake up, there really is nothing that can compare to it. As years come to pass, however, the joy in Christmas begins to fade. You learn that the man in the big red suit was just a fairy tale, and the amount of "cool" presents that you receive begins to dwindle. Like all childish things in life, over time, the enthusiasm fades away, becomes simple. But sometimes, simple isn't so bad.

That morning, I woke up to something simple.

Just as always, Levi was tucked against my wing and surrounded by my comforting hold. He was safe, sound, and under my constant watch. It was certain that, because of my gifted nature, his body was completely warm. The heat must have been a contributor to that fact that the highest points of his cheeks were dusted with a soft shade of pink.

I wouldn't have wanted to wake up any other way, honestly. Even if Levi's feelings for me were still mildly confusing and only defined by the word "exclusive", for just a moment, I liked to pretend that we were lovers, present-life lovers, and that this was how we would wake up for many more mornings to come. I would gently coax Levi into consciousness -- which he would be very upset about, of course -- but after his anger had subsided and all grudges had been placed behind us, we would cuddle and kiss and share any of the dreams that we had seen the night prior, if only we could remember them. Such a silly imagination I have, I know.

I turned slightly, trying to get a glance at Levi's alarm clock from just over the arch of my wing. It was a bit of a struggle, but when 8:54AM came into view, I had to chuckle. Was it really that late already? Granted, Levi and I usually woke up around noon every day, but this wasn't any ordinary day. This was Christmas morning, and waking up past 6AM was highly unacceptable.

When I turned back to face him, I began to stroke the thin hairs that had fallen over Levi's eyes. It was kind of strange for me to want to rouse him out of his slumber; it wasn't like there were any presents that needed unwrapping. Still, if I was going to wake him up, I was going to do it carefully. "Hey..." I whispered. "Are you awake?"

A displeased groan that was followed by an angered pout gave me my answer.

"Levi," I tried again, gentler this time, "don't you know what today is?"

That must have been the ticket to waking him up, because after I'd prompted him with a question, Levi inhaled sharply and squeezed his eyelids together. Rubbing a hand over his forehead and up into the fine follicles of his hairline, he cleared his throat and emitted another grunt before amusedly saying, "My birthday?" I couldn't momentarily respond, because those words had really taken me by surprise. That was when Levi had opened his sleep-heavy eyes and repeated, "It's my birthday, right?"

Was he being funny with me, or was he _actually_ under the assumption that today was his legitimate birthday? I felt stupid for wanting to ask him, to clear up any misconceptions that I was having, but my confusions were soon remedied. Levi had already beaten me to the chase.

"It was a joke, Eren. I'm only kidding," he sighed, as he stretched his limbs into awareness. "I really didn't mean to startle you like that. Although, I can't say that I'm entirely apologetic for the reaction that it received. I can't even begin to describe your face right now. It's...kind of priceless."

The second he began to snicker, I immediately shook my head free from my more than embarrassing expression. Had my eyes changed in color? Probably. I wonder what pigment they acquired when I was feeling absolutely and utterly perplexed.

After my head stopped spinning and I felt my face return to what I liked to think of as normal, I half muttered, "I...totally knew that you were telling a joke." At the time, I definitely didn't know if he had been joking or not.

Catching me right in the midst of my lie, Levi scoffed and proceeded to raise an eyebrow at me. "Oh, really?" he said. "Then why such a face? Eren, I know your body language like I know hair care products. You clearly just lied to me."

I was glad that Levi took my lies with amusement rather than with aggression. Had it been the latter, I probably wouldn't have felt as inclined to say, "Yeah, I kinda I did. Sorry..."

Levi shifted himself against my wing for yet another, sleepy stretch. When he quieted a yawn that had rudely interrupted his intention to speak, he offered, "I mean, hey, if you tell me why you didn't find my joke funny, then all is forgiven. Just be honest about it."

Honest was what I should have been from the beginning. I should have realized by now that lying to Levi, even if it was to cover up my own awkwardness, was a dead end trap to fessing up the truth. It just felt really weird to admit to what I'd been thinking, though. "When you said that it was your birthday," I began, taking my sweet time to pronounce every word, "it was like, for a minute there, I almost thought that..."

"...Thought that?" Levi encouraged, after I had paused for a bit too long. I sighed.

"It's weird, but...I thought that I had the old you back with me. I mean, no, not like _old_. That wasn't a reference to your age. You were older, but that's, it's not like -- that's not what I meant." Well, I totally just screwed that statement up. Maybe I'd finally discover those time-traveling powers that I'd been searching for before, because I desperately wanted to take back everything I'd just said.

Nope. Still no powers.

At first, I thought Levi would be offended. He and I had agreed that we wouldn't let the past loom over us and that we would continue to live in the present. Sure, he still had some questions about things that only I could give the answers to, and I still had nostalgic feelings towards some of his actions, but those were both very natural occurrences with our sort of situation. And besides, the only thing that should have mattered was that I _loved_ him. In more ways than one, in fact. Not wanting to give Levi the wrong impression, I started to say, "Levi, I--" but was suddenly cut short by the feeling of fingertips against my lips.

Eyeing my silencer, I noted that Levi wore a pleasantly plain look on his face, as he said, "I understand what you meant, Eren." I allowed myself to feel somewhat relieved, when there was no lingering bitterness in his tone. He actually still sounded kind of entertained. "That was supposed to be the joke. In hindsight, it wasn't thought out very well, so let's forget about it. It's Christmas morning. Let's take it easy and try not to think too hard." Yeah, not thinking too hard sounded like a good plan to me.

After we'd reached our comparative conclusion, Levi demanded that I wrap my opposing wing around his shoulders and let him lounge for five more minutes. Although I acted like it sometimes, I wasn't his mother. I had no right to tell him what he could or could not do. The only time I had any say in the matter of anything was if his life was in danger. Resting for a couple more minutes wasn't going to kill him.

As we laid there, I tried my best not to think, but the harder I tried, the more I realized that not thinking about anything at all was actually a lot more effort than, you know, thinking about something. My default thought was out of the question. I knew that if I thought about Levi for too long, my mind would start to wander to unknown places, so I decided to think about something simpler. I thought of Christmas morning. As I began to recall all of the years where Dad was actually present in my life, I had to let myself crack a smile. Even though he and Mom would argue about literally everything -- from whether or not we would go to church, right down to what we did with the used wrapping paper -- nothing could put a damper on my Christmas spirit. They were some of my very best memories as a child.

Even though our deal had been that we both wouldn't put too much into our thoughts, it was clear from what Levi said next that he had been doing some thinking of his own. "I get the feeling that you and I used to lay like this a lot. Uh, minus the wings, though." Hearing that made me feel guilty that I hadn't given into my temptation of thinking about Levi, as well.

Minus the wings, he said. I couldn't help myself from seeing the irony in that. Little did Levi know that, back then, we _both_ bore wings on our backs. They were the wings of hope, the wings of humanity, the wings of freedom. "We did," I murmured, "when we got the chance to, that is. What made you think of that, Levi?"

He shrugged against me. "I don't know. It was just a feeling I had. I have the same feeling about a dream that I had last night."

A dream? Wait, was Levi trying to tell me that he had actually remembered one of his dreams? That sort of thing never happened before! Why didn't he tell me sooner? I needed to know more. "Levi, you had a dream? You remember it?" I questioned eagerly.

It was a tad upsetting, when Levi slowly sat up and began to mess with his hair. Now _I_ was the one that wanted to beg him for five more minutes of rest. It was always so calming just being able to cuddle with him. There wasn't any other time where I felt like his life was absolutely secure, except for when he was in my arms.

"Not really," Levi answered, speaking between his fingers. His hands had moved down from his hair to his face, as they tried to smudge the sleep out of his eyes. "I know I dreamt about something, but for the life of me, I can't remember what. One thing that I actually do remember is that it left me with a good feeling when I woke up, so I know that it couldn't have been a nightmare. How cruel would that have been, right?"

I sat up with him and poked his shoulder. "I guess you could have called it...the nightmare before Christmas."

"Okay, now we're even," Levi chuckled. I began to laugh as well, as I dodged his playful shove. "I told a bad joke, you told a bad joke. I think it's time to get out of bed."

Still giggling, I stated, "I'm surprised you're actually willing to. You're usually against all things that require an actual amount of effort in the morning."

Just as he was pushing his way out of his bedsheets, Levi shot me a sideways glance that I read as somewhat mischievous. "Not when it's Christmas morning."

I wasn't the only one, huh? Even Levi got excited over the idea of Christmas morning. Why was that? Did he have plans to visit with his family? Now that I thought about it, it was a rare occurrence when Levi would mention his parents. I was under the impression that maybe they weren't all that close. With that in mind, I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. I went with another question. "Do you think Santa Claus paid you guys a visit?"

"You know that you're referring to just you and me, right?"

Levi was already making his side of our bed -- uh, his bed. His side of his own bed. Yeah. He was making the bed, when I had to wonder, "What do you mean? Hange and Erwin--?"

He fluffed up one of the pillows. "They aren't here. Hange is on a plane to Australia right now, and Erwin probably left to go visit with his parents already."

"...And you?" Had he not mentioned everyone else's plans, I would have stuck to my gut and not pried into his own. But considering that both Erwin and Hange were going to be spending the holiday with their families, I felt the need to ask, "You don't have anything planned for the day?"

Levi bribed me out of bed and began to make the other side. For good reason, I'm sure, he opted against eye contact when he said, "Well, I was kind of planning on spending it with you."

I was touched. Actually, I was well beyond touched. I was practically swooning at the fact that he wanted to spend his Christmas with me, but I had to wonder if he'd broken any pre-made arrangements to make it happen. "Levi, that's..." I could physically feel my face turning red. "That's really sweet of you to say, but what about your family? Did you have any plans to spend the day with them?"

When he exhaled a deep breath, I immediately regretted the fact that I'd brought up anything regarding his family. I should have just kept the moment simple and sweet. God, I was such an idiot.

I tried to redeem the conversation as quickly as possible, by adding, "I-I didn't mean to make you upset, Levi! Of course I'd love to spend this Christmas with you! I shouldn't have been so curious about your family, I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it, Eren." Levi sat down on the edge of his freshly made bed. I saw him run his hands over his knees, before he looked up to me. "You didn't do anything wrong by asking. The only reason why I responded so dramatically is because it's exhausting just to even think about doing anything with my parents. They been divorced and remarried to different people for a while now, so they've got a couple of new kids and stuff like that. The whole idea of spending a holiday with two families that don't even feel like my own just doesn't seem appealing to me. But they understand how I feel. They send me a card, I send them a card. Merry Christmas, and that's about it."

Hearing that Levi had family problems of his own made me feel so much closer to him. It wasn't necessarily a good thing to bond over, but having that mutual understanding of an imperfect family brought us to a common ground. "I'm sorry things had to turn out that way for you, Levi."

He gave me another shrug and stood up again. "Like I said, don't worry about it. When I was younger, it totally sucked having to move from home to home on weekdays and weekends, but I'm over it. I have a new home now, and sometimes I hate living here, too, but at least I know that I have a place to call my own."

I nodded. What Levi had just said, it made sense to me. Having that one place in the world where you could wake up in and come back to every night, where you could kick off your shoes and just relax, it was a nice feeling. And even as an angel, it was reasonably obvious that I'd begun feeling like the apartment was becoming my home, too.

Levi didn't even bother getting dressed that morning. He stated that it was Christmas, and on Christmas, no one should be forced to wear uncomfortable clothes unless they are leaving the house, which he had absolutely no intentions of doing. Following him into the bathroom as he met nature's call and brushed his teeth, I was actually taken aback when he looked at me from within the mirror, spit out his toothpaste, and said, "Remember how you mentioned something about Santa paying us a visit earlier?"

I remembered it, of course, but I hadn't a clue as to why he was bringing it up. I'd meant it as a joke, so in actuality, our joke score had tallied up to two for me and one really complex one for him. I still felt like we were pretty even. "Yes, I remember," I said. "What about it?"

Even as he was swishing mouthwash from cheek to cheek, I was able to detect a sly grin in the way that he was narrowing his gaze and lifting his eyebrows. Another squish, another spit, another statement. "I think I heard some reindeer hooves on the roof last night," was his answer. "We should probably go and see if there's anything underneath the Christmas tree."

It was evident that I was confused. Was Levi trying to make another joke? Had our tallies gone up two-to-two? There was no way that Santa Claus could have brought anything for us. First of all, I'm pretty sure angels were excluded from the mix of gift giving, and secondly, he wasn't even real. I knew all of this, and yet, my wings began to flutter with childish exhilaration.

We made our way out of the bathroom, and as I tagged along behind Levi, my excitement only continued to grow. Would there actually be presents underneath the tree? Even if they were empty boxes, just seeing the colorful wrapping paper and decorative bows would be enough to make me smile for weeks. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. It would still get me pretty pumped, though.

Down the hall and around the corner, we entered the main room of the apartment. When the haphazardly decorated Christmas tree came into view, my wings slowly stopped their flapping. There were no bright boxes like I had been imagining, and quite frankly, even Levi was beginning to look slightly baffled by the sight. It was silly of me to get my hopes up.

"Huh," Levi breathed, stepping closer to the tree. He circled the thing maybe three or four times, before making a sound that suggested he'd found what he had been looking for. "'Beneath the tree.' Haha. Very clever, _Santa_."

If I thought that I was confused before, I had a whole new definition for the word now. "Levi, what are you doing?" I asked. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Turning to me and beckoning for me to come closer, Levi offered the single command of, "Look _beneath_ the tree, Eren. I think Santa may have left something for you."

Beneath the tree, beneath the tree. I was looking beneath it, but all I could see were wooden floorboards, fallen tree needles, the tiny stand that held it up, and -- oh. Oh! All at once, my wings had started to flutter again. Literally _beneath_ the Christmas tree, right underneath the tree stand, sat a small box that was wrapped in wrinkled newspaper. I could tell that it must have been read through a good number of times to get it to look that way. However, the newspaper wasn't what had attracted me to the present. As far as I was concerned, a present wasn't a present unless it had a bow on the top of it. Stuck to the surface of the newspaper was a big, blue bow, almost as big as the box itself. Was this gift...really for me?

"Go on, Eren," Levi prompted me again. "See if it's got your name written on it."

Not one to argue about such a thing, I approached the Christmas tree with caution. Standing in front of it felt like I was standing in front of myself, or just my wings, at least. Still very careful in doing so, I bent at the knee and reached for the tiny present. I wanted to yell at my fingers to stop shaking so violently, but I couldn't blame them. They were busily processing two emotions at once: both excitement and anxiety.

When my hand finally grabbed a hold of the small gift, Levi told me to check for a name again. Following his order, I flipped the present onto its side and began to look. Labeled there, right beneath the big header story, in big blocky letters, was my name. "It...it says 'EREN' on it," I said in disbelief. None of this made any sense. Never once had I seen Levi purchase anything at any store other than a few shampoos and lipsticks for his job, but that was it. There was no way that he could have been the one who bought this for me. Did Santa Claus really...?

"Of course it does," Levi nodded, as he took a seat on the sofa. "It's your present, so go ahead and open it."

I was beyond shocked. Opening presents was a big deal, there was no doubt about that, but opening _mystery_ presents was even bigger. What could have been inside? I had no idea! It would be best for me to just listen to what Levi had said and open it up right away.

Instead of sitting next to Levi on the sofa, I decided to sit on the floor. I wasn't sure how other people did it in their houses, but as far as opening Christmas presents went in my house, they were always opened on the floor. Criss-crossing my legs, I gave the gift another once over before I began to take it apart.

By law, one must always start with the bow. It's the most important part of the present, other than the present itself, and should be treated like royalty. Plucking the blue thing off of the newspaper and settling it aside eloquently, I looked at Levi for his permission before I began to do anything else. When he sent me a shooing wave to keep going, I turned my attention back to the present and dug my fingers underneath the newspaper. After the remnants of the makeshift wrapping paper were tossed aside, I was left with a small, white covered box.

I was afraid to open it.

By my knowledge of holiday box sizes, there were only two types of gifts that could fit in a container so small: a gift card or jewelry. Seeing as I had absolutely no use for a gift card, that could only leave...

"Eren, you're seriously killing me here," Levi groaned. It sounded to me like he was just as anxious for my reaction as I was anxious to discover what was inside. "Just open the box."

The suspense was making me feel sick to my stomach. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to open it.

I lifted the lid of the box with utmost care, which revealed to me a stack of red tissue paper. I appreciated the festivity, before I set the lid down and began to peel away at the paper. Before long, my eyes had finally been graced with the sight of my gift, and boy, had they gone wide. Laying within the bed of bundled up tissue paper was a long, sturdy key made out of brass, fashioned to look just like...

"Do you like it, Eren?" Levi's voice was a distant sound to the roar of my raging heart. This key, it resembled the very same key that had once held so many mysteries, so many memories, so much purpose. I knew that Levi had just finished asking me a question, but I had one of my own that needed to be answered first.

"Levi, did you...how did you...?" Well, it would have been fantastic if words would have actually cooperated with me.

I half expected Levi to keep up with the whole "Santa brought it" facade, but was grateful when he responded to me truthfully. "Thank Hange. He did most of the hard work." That was an explanation I was more than eager to hear. "Remember that one night when you were so exhausted after landing practice that you took a nap with me on the couch?" I nodded. "Well, I didn't actually take a nap with you. All the while you were sleeping, I was trying to think up ideas of what I should get you for Christmas. Obviously I wouldn't be able to buy it for you in secret, because you would be there with me. When I finally thought of something that I remembered seeing just a few weeks before you came here, I sent Hange to go out and buy it. I kind of thought that it would be the perfect fit, and when Hange had seen what I was talking about for himself, he agreed with me."

Of course Hange had agreed. He'd seen that key around my neck almost as much as I had. If only Levi knew how much he had seen it, too. I didn't know what to say.

"Hey, you got kind of quiet," Levi noted. "Do you not like it?"

Hearing that made me gasp. "No, no!" How rude of me. Levi had gone through all of this trouble to buy me a Christmas present that he was clearly very proud of, and what was my response? Silence. Not only that, but I didn't even have anything for him in return. "I like it, I'm just...a little shocked. A key, I mean, that's quite an interesting idea. Why did you pick it?"

Something in the way that Levi had closed his eyes and smiled made me think that he was happy that I had asked. "It's supposed to be symbolic, Eren. That key doesn't actually open anything, but it's supposed to represent the fact that this right here, this is your home." He paused. "Um, okay, that actually sounds a lot cheesier when I say it out loud. You should probably forget everything that I just said."

No, there was no way that such a thing was going to happen. If anything, I wanted Levi to say those words to me over and over again. They weren't as good as "I love you", that was for sure, but to me, they were the next best thing. I had a home. This was where I _belonged_ , and it was right by Levi's side.

Going from being utterly bewildered by the gift to wanting to treasure it for all of eternity, I delicately ran my fingers along the smooth brass of its base and looked back up to Levi. Wanting to be honest, I said the first thing that came to mind. "That's just...I could kiss you right now." And it just had to be that.

I didn't know what had surprised me more; the fact that I had _really_ just said that, or the fact that Levi didn't seemed fazed in the slightest by it. Actually, no. I know what surprised me the most. It was when he brought up a finger to lure me closer to him. With his voice dropping to a tone that was smoother than the brass of the key itself, he whispered, "Then come over here and do it."

I couldn't tell you even if I had tried, but something within my normally skittish behavior had shifted. Before I could even properly digest my movements, Levi's calling finger had called me right into his arms.

After that, there was no warning. As his lips collided with mine, it was like nothing had ever changed. A human being and his guardian angel? No, we were a soldier and his superior.

His hands were like magic, touching all of the places that felt familiar. My hair, my neck, my shoulders; each spot yearned for his touch and welcomed him graciously.

Levi wasn't the only one who knew how to get handsy while kissing. Trailing my fingers down the side of his face as our lips reunited, this time with an astonishing sense of confidence, I had to remind myself that this could end up being very dangerous. Whenever Levi and I used to kiss this feverishly, we always ended up, well...yeah.

It was funny how we'd both subconsciously timed ourselves just right that we pulled our lips apart for the very same reason: a much needed breath of air. Huffing and puffing like we'd just finished a marathon, Levi's hands were still making their course around the upper half of my body, as he panted, "I'm guessing...I'm guessing you like your gift, Eren?"

The outer appearance may have caught me off guard, but oh, the meaning behind it was far greater than any unsettled memory. Not only that, but kissing Levi just now had reminded me of the good things about my key, like the way that he used to have a regular habit of holding onto it as we locked lips. He never told me the reason why he would do it, but I had a feeling that it must have been to keep me as close to him as possible. To keep me safe. To keep me home.

"Yes," I breathed, already leaning in for more. "Yes, Levi, I love it. I love it so much, I love--"

Levi didn't need to hear anymore. My answer had been far more than what he was expecting, and it was rewarded with the sensual sensation of having his lips on mine once again.

This time, we took things a little slower. There was no need to kiss each other like it was our last five minutes on Earth. We had the whole apartment to ourselves. We could relax and just _enjoy_ the feeling of being kissed, because damn, it was a good feeling to be felt. But shamefully, it was an act that eluded us to our surroundings.

With Levi's hands in my hair, we didn't hear the front door unlock. With my fingers feeling their way down the length of his toned forearms, we didn't notice the sound of footsteps. With our lips just barely giving way to our tongues, we didn't realize that we were being watched.

"What the _**Hell** _ do you think that you two are doing?"

Just like the tone that had spoken the inquiry, my wings went as stiff as ice blocks. I could feel it in Levi, too. His muscles had tightened in a way that suggested danger, which all together put me on higher alert.

"Why are you back so soon?" Appalled was the only word that could describe how I was feeling. I was appalled that Levi had the nerve to speak so frankly, when the rest of his body suggested otherwise. "I thought you were staying at your parents' house for the whole day."

"That was the plan, until they both got called in for a medical emergency. I hardly got two words in, before they were already rushing out the door."

Levi didn't know what to say to that, and neither did I. There was still a meter of malice in Erwin's voice that made me wonder what he was going to do to the both of us. Clearly, we'd just broken about fifty house rules that I had not been aware of.

"Get your hands off of him." It was a demand that was directed at no one in particular, but I was the one who followed it. Levi, on the other hand...

"Erwin, what the Hell? What gives you a damn right to tell Eren what do to?" I noticed that Erwin had tried to speak, but he was instantly silenced by Levi's continuing rant. "No, I'm not finished. Ever since Eren became my angel, you've been treating him like absolute trash. Do you know how many times this kid has saved me from getting myself injured? Do you even realize that he saved my _life_ and got hurt himself in the process? I am so fed up with your attitude and your authority. Just why the Hell do you hate Eren so much?"

It was almost crazy to think that Erwin's answer had managed to be news to not just Levi, but to me, as well.

"Why wouldn't I feel hatred towards the person responsible for so many unnecessary deaths? Deaths that include your own, Levi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> I really, really apologize for the delay on this chapter, everyone! It would have been published way earlier in the evening, had FF.net been working with me. If you're not aware of this, I actually post "Feathers and Follies" to two websites, FF.net and AO3, with links to both of them on my tumblr account (kairixxxsora16.tumblr.com). I always post the chapter to FF first so that I can get all of the formatting correct and ready for AO3, but with FF being uncooperative with me, it was just a formatting disaster. orz
> 
> Again, I'm super sorry for the delay! 
> 
> With those explanations out of the way, I hope you enjoyed this extra long chapter! It was worth the couple of hours that you had to wait, right? I sure hope so! And look at that right there! You see that? That's a cliffhanger! Hadn't had one of those in a while! Well, guess what. We're back in business. ;D
> 
> As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read! I hope that you enjoyed!
> 
> \-- Chappy


	26. Mission Status: Failed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren learns that the events that led up to his death a far less cookie-cutter than he'd originally thought.

I tried to make sense of what Erwin had just said, but the more that I tried to pull it apart, the more my mind refused to wrap itself around it.  _Why wouldn't I feel hatred towards the person responsible for so many unnecessary deaths? Deaths that include your own, Levi._ How...was that even possible? When I died, Levi's voice had been calling to me. I heard him. I heard the awful, pain-stricken sound of his sorrows. He wanted me to respond. He told me that everything would be okay. But everything wasn't, and after I closed my eyes and welcomed the warm blanket of death, just what the Hell happened?

How could I have been the one to cause Levi's death, when I had died before him?

Erwin's statement had caused Levi's jaw to lock, his words ceasing their flow. The captivated look in his eyes suggested that he had so much to ask, so much that he wanted to know, but the questions just didn't seem to find a way out. Clearly, I hadn't been the only one who was left dumbfounded.

"This is ridiculous," Erwin scoffed, turning up his nose at the both of us. "I'm going to my room-"

"Wait." For what felt like the first time since my rebirth, I had been the one to give the order. Did Erwin honestly think that he could just lay that kind of information on Levi, on  _me_ , and just walk away from it. Oh, Hell no. He was going to explain himself, word for word, just what he had meant by saying that I had been the sole being responsible for numerous, unnecessary deaths. "Stay right there."

Aghast that I'd given him such a command, Erwin didn't know what to do other than to obey it. Maybe it was something in my authoritative tone that had caught him off guard, or maybe it was in the way that I had actually  _sensed_  my irises shift in color. I'd experienced this emotion before. I knew what color they had become. This was anger, annoyance, and I was glaring at Erwin with a sharp shade of gold.

Due to my daring lead in, I had every intention to be the first one to ask Erwin for clarification. Still, it wasn't at all surprising when Levi beat me to the chase and asked, "Erwin, what are you even talking about? You sound crazy. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still alive, thank you very much."

"I wasn't referring to the present, Levi," Erwin spoke, his voice a tad less powerful than before. Had the strength behind my forceful tone effected him that much? Huh. Good to know.

"So, what then? The future? The past? The past..." Through repetition, Levi had come to the conclusion that I had learned not that long ago myself: Erwin held memories of his previous lives, namely the lifetime where he was a Commander, Levi was a Corporal, and I was a soldier. "Erwin, you remember...?"

"Every minute of my past lifetimes, yes." That was something that I couldn't even compare to. Yes, I remembered my past lives, but only bits and pieces of them. The lifetimes that I had the most recollection of were my first and my last. Everything in between was a bit of a blur. Regardless, remembering even a second of that retched world where the Titans called home was a second too much, and if Erwin was withholding information about it - which I knew he was - I wanted to know it.

Levi's body language alone was enough to tell me that he was not pleased. I could hear his teeth grinding from behind his lips, and the sheer sound of it sent a shiver straight down my spine. In the moment that we'd shared together, he had been so soft, so gentle, but now, everything about him screamed ferocity. "Does Hange know?" he asked, from behind bared teeth.

"He does not," Erwin admitted, "but Eren managed to snoop his way into finding out yesterday."

In my defense, I hadn't been snooping. I'd merely been following Levi's demand to find Erwin and see why he'd stalked off to his room in the first place. Finding that book had been a coincidence; Erwin's secret had not. There was a reason why he'd been reading up on the past, and that was something else that I intended to discover. Just maybe not right now.

With Levi's gaze finding mine, I had to prepare myself for what I knew was coming. "Eren, you knew?" Yup. Just as expected.

"Like Erwin said, I found out last night," I explained carefully. "When you told me to go looking for him, I went into his bedroom and stumbled upon a book titled  _The Fall of the Wall_. I would have told you, but it didn't really seem fitting at the time. I'm really sorry, Levi. I should have told you."

He sighed and, pressing both his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose, said, "You're not the one who should be apologizing, Eren. You're an angel, not a gossip, and that wasn't your call to make. This is just - ugh, it doesn't make any sense. Erwin, if you remembered the past, why didn't you say anything before?"

I could slightly see Erwin's point, when he stated, "Because I saw no reason to. I knew from very early on that you had no memories of the past, so I just let it be."

"But  _Hange_  remembers," Levi insisted. "Why didn't you tell him?"

I felt my awareness increase, as I watched Erwin walk around the back of the sofa and sink into his claimed armchair. The way that he sat with his elbows propped against his spread knees suggested that he was about to wow us with, yet again, another piece of the perplexity puzzle. "Because he's to blame, as well."

If this was a roller coaster ride, I desperately wanted to get off. First, I was the reason for all of these deaths, and now  _Hange_  was at fault, too? None of this was adding up. We had all been fighting for the same cause, right? Why was it that people were dying because of us? What mistakes had we made? What errors had led to their downfall?

"That's enough, Erwin," Levi said, and it was unbeknownst to me that he was speaking in my defense until he added, "You're upsetting Eren."

I understood that Erwin's words had been unnerving to me, but I hadn't realized that my state of mind had been physically visible until Levi had mentioned it. It made me notice the shudder in my wings and the tremor in my tendons.

Erwin removed his elbows from his knees and crossed his legs. "This  _should_  be upsetting for him to hear. Centuries later, it's still upsetting for me to think about."

"Well, if you've already spent hundreds of years thinking about it," Levi grimaced, "then what the Hell are you waiting for?"

Erwin rose a brow of inquiry at his roommate. Had Levi not made his statement clear enough for him? Maybe those years upon years that he boasted about remembering had made him lose his intuitive edge. That, or he wanted Levi to be more direct with him. No worries. I'd see to it that he got his direct response.

Lifting myself from Levi's lap - it was almost embarrassing to think that I'd still been sitting on him through the midst of all of this - I rose from the sofa entirely and shifted my stance to meet Erwin's eyes. Eyes that had once looked at me with respect now only saw me as the product of something unfortunate. Enough was enough. This was where I had drawn the line.

"Tell us what happened on the day that I died."

 

* * *

 

Erwin told us to make ourselves comfortable, for we had a long story ahead of us. I found it kind of odd that, all of a sudden, he was concerned for our comfort. Just minutes ago, when Levi and I were getting  _very_  comfortable with one another, he'd demanded that we break apart. It would seem that, so long as we weren't touching, he had no problem with us finding a comfy spot to listen to the beginnings of his explanation. And so, with a heavy breath, he started by saying, "The year was 851, and we were just about to embark on what was set out to be our most successful mission yet. We had everything planned, everything from the route that we would take, right down to who would be in charge of the supply carts for the return trip back to Wall Rose. Nothing could put a damper on this expedition. It was what we had all worked and trained so hard to finally attain, and right up until the end, we'd almost done it. Almost. And then everything went straight to Hell."

I could vaguely remember the expedition that Erwin was referring to. He was right in saying that everything had been strategically mapped out to the absolute T, but what I found confusing was his description in how everything went wrong towards the end. It was funny how my selective memory had to have come into play at a time like this. I'd remembered embarking on the mission, and I remembered dying within Levi's arms, but for the life of me, I just couldn't pinpoint any certain thing that had happened to fill up the gaps. Something told me that Erwin wouldn't feel ashamed to explain.

"We followed the route that we'd spent months, maybe even a year, tracking and testing for its efficiency. The goal of the expedition was - wait, why am I explaining that part to you. Eren, you remember it quite well, don't you?"

Ah, I sort of did? Saying that I remembered the expedition "quite well" was a bit of a stretch, but some of the very important aspects of it did come to mind. The goal of our expedition had been to sweep through the land of Wall Maria, enter the Shiganshina District, and discover what secrets lied within the depths of my father's basement. At long last, we might have finally learned the origins of the Titans and what their purpose had been. That was the aim, and even though I'd perished before it was achieved, someone had to have completed the task in my absence, right? Maybe Mikasa? Armin? With the way he made it sound, was Erwin trying to tell us that the main objective of our mission had never been fulfilled?

After nodding, I mindlessly began to toy with the edges of my feathers. I wasn't feeling bashful or nervous - in fact, I will still feeling mildly aggressive - it was just a force of habit that I'd acquired from having wings over the course of a month and a half. "Our goal was to get to my father's basement, right? We were determined to find out more about the Titans, and we were convinced that my father had been housing the information that we were looking for, beneath my old house."

"That is correct," Erwin agreed, switching the cross of his legs. "Actually, to make this easier, tell me what else you remember. I see no reason in telling you the things that you can already recall on your own."

Geez, Erwin was making me work for this explanation. It almost didn't seem fair to Levi, who had no recollection of the past whatsoever. Erwin was leaving him entirely in the dark. Couldn't he just save me the effort and relay the scene for the both of us? After all, it was his uncalled for interjection that had brought our attention to this mysterious mission in the first place. And really, what  _else_  did I remember?

Closing my eyes and rubbing my hand against my forehead in a petty attempt to rouse my memories, I said, "I remember...I remember waking up earlier than usual, on the morning of the expedition. I can also remember having the Corporal tell me to get dressed and meet him in the dining hall for a light meal. We never ate heavily before a mission."

"The Corporal?" It had been Levi's first interruption in minutes. "Wasn't that...me?"

I wanted to be the one to answer Levi's question, just like I had been with so many of his curiosities, but Erwin saw to it instead. "Yes, that was you, but all of this is worthless information. Eren, I only want to know what you remember from the expedition itself. Everything before that means nothing to me."

I gritted my teeth. Those occurrences may have meant nothing to him, but they were the small things that would both haunt and hold me over well into my angel years. In a world so cruel, at least I had been able to discover something beautiful. "Fine," I muttered. "From the expedition, I remember stationing at and exiting through the Karanese District. After the District of Trost had been sealed up because of the Titan invasion, Karanese became the shortest route through Wall Maria that would lead us to the Shiganshina District." So far, so good. Erwin seemed to be agreeing with everything I had to say.

"I don't remember there being any obstacles on our way to Shiganshina," I continued, after choosing to have a seat on the floor. I tucked my legs behind my backside and relaxed my wings against my shoulders. "Actually, everything about that expedition had been picture perfect, just like we'd planned." If that was the case, why did I die? Something had to have happened within Shiganshina that I was having trouble -  _oh_.

Before I could retract my statement, Erwin proclaimed, "You're right. For the most part, our mission had been worry-free. However, when we entered Shiganshina, everything slowly began to crumble."

The more I thought about it, the more I could see the District in my head. A very long time ago, it had been the place that I'd called home. I found it ironic how "home" had such a different meaning to me now. I actually  _liked_  the thought of home.

"There were more Titans than we'd been anticipating, and our route was no longer the safest method to get to my house. I think I remember...yeah. There was an order given, an order to split up." I looked at Erwin. "That order had been given by you."

He nodded. "Correct."

The more I tried to fit the broken fragments together, the more frustrated I became. How did any of this contribute to the deaths of our comrades? The death of Levi? Most importantly, how was  _I_ , a victim of death myself, the one to blame for all of this?

Unanimously, the memories came flooding back to me.

After we'd split up, we each switched our courses and directed ourselves towards the one, main location: my father's basement. Seeing as my house had been situated so close to the wall's front gate, three groups had been told to go around the perimeter to the right, four groups to the left, and two groups through the middle. Squad Levi and Squad Hanji had been the two groups ordered to go through the middle.

For seasoned soldiers like we had been, fighting Titans wasn't all that life-threatening. Levi had struck five kills in two minutes, and Hanji had managed to mangle two. Our path was clearing and our first obstacle had been nearly cleared away.

That was when the second obstruction to our strategy had arisen.

Arriving at my house had been a tedious, yet successful task. It was when we got there that we realized that the basement was still shrouded by debris and revolting memories. Sure, a handful of soldiers could have removed all of the plywood and roofing, but that may have taken a tad too long in a territory where time meant everything. If only there had been a way that we could have removed all of the wreckage efficiently...

My eyes widened. "Hanji's plan," I whispered, suddenly recalling her very words as if she'd spoken them only yesterday. "Hanji's plan for me to..." No, I couldn't say it. This had been a part of myself that I'd neglected to share with Levi for good reason. Why did such a thing have to come out in a moment like this?

"To turn into a Titan," Erwin concluded. "Her plan had been for you to turn into a Titan."

He had done the honors of re-explaining everything that I'd begun to recount in my mind, but it wasn't shocking in the least when Levi had cut into his speech to say, "Wait,  _wait_? What do you mean 'turn into a Titan'? Is that just some fancy way of calling Eren a badass? He didn't actually become a-"

"Levi." Erwin reclaimed the speaking throne. "Eren formerly possessed the ability to shift into a Titan's body through a method of mental direction and self-infliction. This power was granted to him through an unknown substance that had been injected into his arm by his father as a child. His powers were very helpful to us on many occasions, in the event that he could utilize them properly. When he could not, everything would instantly become disastrous."

Levi, still wrapping his head around the idea that his  _guardian angel_ , a being known for all things holy, pure, and innocent, was dumbfounded by the notion that I had previously held the capability to turn into a monster. What could I say? I was just your average, living, breathing oxymoron. With the way that his sideways gaze had captured mine, I had a feeling that Levi was a bit peeved that I hadn't told him anything about this before, but I could also sense that he understood my reasoning behind not doing so, as well. Honestly, what kind of angel would tell their guarded human that they used to have the ability to become something demonic? All of this being said, it was in my nature to apologize. That had been the second time now, right? "I'm sorry, Levi. I should have told you about this beforehand."

I could almost hear the words coming out of his lips, before he said them. Levi was so predictable, so forgiving. He exhaled deeply. "How many times have I told you to stop apologizing, Eren? Just, don't worry about it, alright? It wasn't something that I was expecting to hear, but whatever. It's obviously something that you weren't comfortable telling me on your own. I'll get over it. See? Look at that, I'm already over it. But there's still more to the story, isn't there?" He was right (which wasn't shocking); there  _was_  still more to the story. And yet, this was the part where my memory started to get fuzzy. Why was that?

Once again, Erwin had asked me to list off what else I could recall. Was this entertaining for him, or something? Watching me struggle with my confusing feeling of guilt and regret? It was starting to get old. "Hanji said that if I turned into a Titan, I would be able to remove all of the debris that was blocking the basement faster than any soldier could. She also suggested that, while I was in my Titan form, I should retrieve one of the largest pieces of wreckage that I could find and blockade the hole that was still in the wall. It would have been like killing two birds with one stone. A complete success."

Wait, why was I starting to get an eerie feeling about what I'd just said? My skin went rough with goosebumps, and my wings began to flutter anxiously. Somewhere in the mix, something had gone wrong. It was something that I was not aware of, for that was where my memories completely ended. Erwin would have the pleasure in telling us the rest of the tale, and I had a definite premonition that it wasn't going to end with a happily ever after.

"A complete success that turned into a complete failure," he soon counteracted. "The strategy had been perfect no matter which way Hanji looked at it, but she was viewing her plan through spectacles of only optimism. In her mind, you were ready for this. You'd been trained in the art of lifting heavy objects in your Titan form before, so such a task would be a breeze for you. She gave the order, shot the signal, and you turned into a Titan." When Erwin faltered, I wanted to scream at him. Continue, damnit! Continue! Soon, my silent prayer had been answered and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. "That's when our comrades started dropping like flies."

Erwin told us that, for a reason they were never able to properly disclose, the moment I had entered my Titan form, my human body and mind had become unresponsive. My being was acting solely on vengeance, entirely on a lust for killing. Apparently, I had thrashed my arm at Hanji's men, before rushing forward to destroy a seven-meter class that had been coming our way. Although that small act of murder had been somewhat helpful, it didn't even make a mark in the long scheme of things. I was out of control, and my roar had been luring Titans at high speeds from all directions. Soldiers were being crushed, consumed, and conquered, and my folly had been the cause of it.

"By the time a failure flare was signaled, seventeen soldiers had perished, and a second order was given. That order had been a demand to kill you, Eren, and it was an order that had been issued to the man who promised he would do it himself, should a time when you lost your control ever present itself." And that man was sitting directly across from me. That man had been my Corporal. That man had been my lover. That man had been Levi.

With a grave expression, Erwin continued to speak. "The order was never followed. It was deliberately denied, and in return, more soldiers were killed. Comrades attempted to settle you down, but their words never got through to you. It was then that, in an effort to stop the chaos and set you free from your defective Titan form, Levi had made the plan to cut your body out of the nape of the monster's neck, leaving you unharmed. Unfortunately, the strategy was devised two seconds too late."

It was said that my call had hailed an abnormal Titan, one that had come out of everyone's blind spot and had tackled my Titan form to the ground. This gave the rest of the ravenous Titans the opportunity to get at my delicious flesh. After that moment, the rest of my memories began to return.

One bite straight through the nape of my Titan form's neck had ripped me out of the vessel and sent my body flying into somewhere unknown. The pain that I'd felt was surreal, and it was a type of pain that I instantly knew I would not recover from. It was in that instance that two things had ruptured my heart: the front teeth of a Titan and the sound of Levi's voice.

_You're going to be okay! Damnit, Eren! You're going to make it out of this mess alive, do you hear me?!_

I felt nauseous.

Erwin was right. Erwin was absolutely right. Because of me and because of my inability to have a sense of control over my Titan form, our comrades had fallen. Their deaths had been unnecessary. They would have lived, had it not been for me. I didn't want to hear anymore. I didn't want to feel any more guilty than I already was. But wait. There was still one more question.

"How did I die?" Both Erwin's and my eyes went straight to Levi's face, which, naturally, was quite unfazed.

Uncrossing his legs and reverting back to his original position - with his elbows resting on his knees, and his hands cupped under his chin - Erwin stated, "You were arrested and sentenced to death for disobeying the orders of your Commander in the time of battle. Because of your denial to act, Eren had been given the chance to attract more Titans. Those Titans ended up devouring four of our men. All of the deaths that had occurred during that mission had been unnecessary, but those deaths in particular had been  _particularly_  unnecessary." For a second, just a second, Erwin felt the need to look away. I would have, too, if I were in his place. "Your sentencing was held three weeks after the expedition. You were killed by a single shot to the head."

My body began to shiver in ways that it had never shuddered before. In my mind, I could hear the gun shot. The sound of it rang out into the nothingness, echoing against my eardrums. I could visualize Levi's body falling lifelessly to the ground and...

There was a hand on my shoulder.

Looking up at the feeling, I was greeted with the sight of Levi's plain expression, along with the image of him holding on to my key. How had he managed move from the sofa and grab a hold of my present without me even knowing it? Clearly, my thoughts had preoccupied me. "Let's go."

"...What?" I was confused. What did he mean? Where would we go? Without giving me much else of a warning, Levi was already heading for the door.

Just the same, Erwin must have been baffled by Levi's reaction, because he asked, "Levi, what are you doing? Where do you think you're going?"

"Anywhere but here, for right now," Levi sighed, as he shrugged on his coat and shoved his left foot into his snow boot.

I heard Erwin scoff from behind, as I rose to my feet and scampered after Levi. "Did hearing the truth upset you that much?"

The sound of jingling keys dulled most of the venom that resonated within Levi's tone. "Actually, no. What upsets me the most is that you can justify holding a one thousand year grudge over something that's long become history." Driving his keys into the front pocket of his jacket, Levi unlocked the front door, turned to face Erwin, and said, "Honestly, Erwin, grow the Hell up."

 

* * *

 

 I followed Levi out of the apartment complex, my mind swirling with all sorts of worries. Was Levi upset with me for anything at all? Was he going to return to the apartment any time soon? Was he aware of the fact that he was still wearing his pajamas? For the love of God, the temperatures were below freezing! He was going to get frostbite! "Levi, let me warm you up," I pleaded. I tried to reason with him by also adding, "Maybe you should head back inside for now. Or, you know, you could get dressed into something more appropriate."

"Not interested." Oh, but I was. Levi knew by now that his well-being was my utmost priority. I couldn't force him to do anything when no immediate threat was imposed, but I could very heavily coax him into the right direction before such a thing came to be.

Just as I was about to protest, to suggest once more that he go inside the apartment to prevent himself from getting sick, something caught my attention from within the corner of my eye. It had been...fast and hard to describe. Thankfully, I wasn't hallucinating. Levi had seen it, too. "...Eren, did you see that?"

"Y-yeah," I stammered, still uncertain of what I'd actually seen. What was that? I don't think I had ever recalled seeing anything quite like that before, and the strangest thing was was that it had come from the  _sky_. Maybe if I were to get a better look, Levi and I would end up with an answer.

Bursting into flight, I ascended high above the ground and established my stability. The strain on my wings that I typically felt from the cold air was almost instant, but I pushed through it for the time being. If my new altitude would give me the upper hand in finding that strange sighting once again, I wasn't going to let a little bit of pain put me at a disadvantage.

I'd been in the air for a good five or six minutes, before I felt like my wings were about to fall off. The mysterious  _thing_  hadn't showed itself again, which was largely disappointing. Seriously, there was no way that it could have been anything like an airplane or a bird. Both its size and its speed just didn't match up to either of those things. With Levi's voice calling out to me, saying that he was cold and finally wanted to go back inside, I began my descent down toward the ground.

Halfway there, something smashed against my wings and caused me to plummet to the pavement in a heaping mess of fluffy feathers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Woohoo! There were no issues with publishing the chapter this week! Isn't that exciting? I think it's exciting. *A*
> 
> So, how did you guys like this chapter? I think I've received at least three or more reviews/comments asking about how Eren died and what that whole scenario had been like, so here you have it! I hope it didn't disappoint!
> 
> And yay for more cliffhangers! I hope you guys found this one a little more tame than last week's, haha! Even I can admit that I had been a little cruel with that one.
> 
> Anyways, I had a ton of fun writing this chapter, so I really hope that you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	27. Guardian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nurse can't teach you how to be a police officer.

It was a strange feeling to describe, but as I fell downward, it was as if there was a sort of  _force_  slamming against my body. Something moving. Something strong. Something  _alive_.

My eyes snapped shut as I awaited the hard impact from the ground below, but weirdly enough, it wasn't as painful as I had been expecting. Then it hit me. Of course my landing hadn't been as disastrous as I was assuming it to be. There was only one explanation for it. Something - or  _someone_  - had broken my fall. I heard a groan.

Levi's voice painted the background of my thoughts. I could hear him, but his words were incoherent. Context clues and past experiences alone were enough for me to formulate a guess as to what he was saying. He had to have been asking me if I was okay, right?

"Levi, I'm fine. I just-"

"Eren, get up." After not being able to fully understand him, Levi's stern tone pierced through my eardrums like a curved dagger. What was the urgency? Why was there suddenly a rush? Why did it feel like something was  _moving_ underneath me?

"...What?"

I did everything in my power to try and obey Levi's strong order, but it was becoming clearer and clearer that I wouldn't be able to comply. My limbs were stiff from the suspense and my wings, christened from the cold, refused to move. It was then that I heard another groan.

Shifting my weight was a struggle, and maneuvering my wings was an even bigger one. After a grand amount of effort, and a few discomforted sounds of my own, I was able to lift myself into a semi-sitting position. With both of my hands propped against the pavement below, stabilizing my balance, I felt it necessary to turn my head. It was about time that I figured out just what the heck I'd crashed into. But wait, wasn't it the other way around? Wasn't  _I_  the one that had been crashed into?

Looking over my left shoulder, I lowered my wing to get a better view. Everything had happened so fast, but the first thing that my eyes had focused on was the pale skin that displayed a unique contrast to my own. Becoming an angel had made my skin tone lighter than I remembered, but the skin that I was looking at was even  _lighter_  than mine. Almost like milk or ivory. Before I could latch onto anymore distinguishing features about this creature's complexion, my sights were surged by a delicate shade of gold. It was like my irises, when masked in all of their annoyance, however, this color was a bit different. This color had not been matched to a pair of eyes, but to fine strands of hair.

By then, my mind was reeling. My first thought had been Historia, but it was a notion that I soon rejected. A possibility, yes, but the probability was unlikely. The last time I had seen Historia was after our incident with Ymir. Why now, of all times, would she appear? That was when a new thought came to mind, and it was a thought that had stimulated my excitement and had caused my no longer stagnant wings to flutter in bliss. Could it really be...?

"...Armin?"

There was a moment when I thought I had my wits about me, but that moment had soon ended.

What I assumed to be a set of feet, equally matched in both power and strength, had pressed themselves up against the middle region of my back, only to mercilessly punt my somewhat delirious body completely forward. Not at all expecting to become airborne, I tumbled off of the sidewalk where I had initially landed, only to fall over onto the edge of the road. Okay, what the Hell just happened? Whoever that was, that definitely  _wasn't_  Armin. Never, in any of my lifetimes, had I been kicked so brutally. Actually, never mind. Upon reviewing that over in my head, I was able to determine two, memorable instances where my body had been assaulted by another person. The image of a courtroom played a major role in that memory, but with Levi not even on my radar of people to accuse, that only left the  _other_  option.

I heard rustling and movement, like someone had been lifting themselves onto their feet and dusting off their wardrobe in the process. With absolutely no motivation to try and see what was going on - because look where that got me last time - I decided to just stay put. Maybe this time, my lack of curiosity wouldn't get me kicked in the back.

More rustling and a breathy sigh piqued my interests, but I remained still. It wasn't until I was officially addressed that my head slowly lifted and my body, starting with my hands and my shoulders, eased me up into a better position.

"You know, Eren, when your guarded human tells you to do something, you should do it."

Oh, there had never been a voice quite like that one before. With that disinterested, dark overtone, laced with a hinted, passive aggressive undertone, there wasn't ever a person that I would have equated that specific sound to. It was a miracle in its own, but I was immediately rising to my feet.

"...Annie?"

I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe it. Someone could have pinched me and I  _still_  wouldn't have believed it. It's kind of funny - not really - but I was starting to understand Erwin's thing about holding grudges, because the second my eyes graced her gorgeously glorified face, I felt a sense of rage overcome my being. Wait, no. This was nothing like the scenario with Erwin. Erwin had never been betrayed like we had. He'd never had a friend turn against him like we did. A bond formed on lies. Hearing her huff again only set more fire to the flame.

"Who did you  _think_  I was?" she asked, turning her shoulder and waving me off like I wasn't worth any of her time. "Oh, right. You called me 'Armin', didn't you?"

"That...that was a mistake," I said, my irritation highly evident. If the way that I held myself wasn't a dead giveaway of my level of annoyance, my tinted vision certainly was. However, exasperation aside, I was horribly confused. What was  _Annie_  doing here? And why, in all of God's name, was  _she_  an angel?

"Strange," Annie hummed, followed by another sigh. If she was going to take a dramatic breath before and after every statement she spoke, she might as well not speak at all. Clearly, the task was far too boring for her. "The only mistake I can find around here is you."

"...What?" I felt angry for reasons I didn't entirely understand, and it was mostly because I had no idea what Annie had meant by that. I was a mistake? In what way? She hadn't specified.

"You're asking me?" If my bafflement hadn't been diluting my aggression, I would have had a more intense reaction to her question, but ultimately, I was unmoving. "Is that your way of telling me that two minutes has gone by without you even taking notice to the fact that your guarded human is in need of your assistance? Honestly, how did you even manage becoming a guardian?"

In all of my haste and in all of the excitement, I had regrettably forgotten that, yes indeed, Levi was still present through all of this. My attention instantly snapped over to him. His fingers were curled around his upper arms, rubbing them up and down in a way that caused my heart to ache. Even through the barrier of his jacket, his lack of proper clothing was making him immune to the cold. Without a second thought, I steadied myself and scampered over to him. "Levi," my voice was pleading, " _please_  let me warm you up-" The moment my arms had opened for him, I stopped talking. He had already tucked himself away into my hold.

"Hmph. And I thought I was the only one." Okay, I could justify spewing out some nonsense - I mean, hey, I did it all the time - but speaking in some kind of secret code was not in the least bit decent. Whether she was aware of it or not, Annie had  _a lot_  of explaining to do, and I wasn't going to tolerate anything less.

"Save your comments until I get some answers out of you," I hissed. Sadly, it hadn't packed the punch that I'd been intending. Those silly little things called "emotions" were holding me back, and in turn, she merely stuck her nose up at me.

"Eren, cool it," Levi intervened, and as amazing as it sounds, a sense of tranquility washed over me. That was just Levi, though. He'd always had that sort of authority over my temper. It was cringe-worthy, but just thinking about it reminded me of that infamous courtroom again. "Stop being rude to her. She's injured."

Hold on a second. What was Levi talking about? He couldn't have been referring to Annie, right? I mean, I knew that I fell on top of her, and we kind of fell from a pretty substantial height, but she had had enough strength to forcibly propel me off of her when I hadn't done so myself fast enough. How could she be injured?

And then, I saw it.

As she turned to face the both of us, my arms instinctively tightened around Levi's torso. Maybe my eyes had been directed elsewhere, or maybe I really was the idiot that everyone accused me of being, but it wasn't until Annie had extended her wings to their fullest potential that her "injury" become very obvious: she was missing more than half of her feathers.

I couldn't look away from the prominent, skeletal structure of both her left and her right wing. It brought me back to my own, somewhat recent infliction. When my wing had been damaged, yes, I'd been able to see the bone, but not like  _that_. Her wings were hardly even wings! So, wait. Wait, wait, wait. In the case of my injured wing, I'd been able to fly on the sheer strength of willpower and adrenaline alone. Just how the heck had she been able to fly so fast without either of those things? What exactly was driving her forward?

Fluffing up what little feathers she had left, Annie retracted both her gaze and her wings. In the midst of breaking apart our eye contact, her hand rose to the back of her neck. Still protecting the most vital part, huh? But no, what happened next only drove my misunderstanding of the situation deeper and deeper into the ground. She began to...scratch? Judging from the rash-like redness that portrayed a stark dissimilarity against her porcelain skin, I could tell that she'd been itching that one area in particular for quite some time. Suddenly, she broke her silence.

"You think  _this_ -" she used her opposing hand to motion at one of her wings, "- is because of an injury? That's naive of you. Ah..." Pulling her hand away from her neck, she brought her fingers up to her face for further inspection. The tips of her nails were kissed with crimson. With a characteristic sigh, Annie lowered her hand and regained her lost thought. "As I was saying, I'm not injured. In my perspective, it's not an injury if it's self-inflicted."

 

* * *

 

We all needed a moment to breathe, after that. Levi suggested that we head back into the foyer, which no one seemed to hold any oppositions against, and Annie needed to tend to her bleeding neck. How she managed to seal up her wound with just a little bit of spit and an applied amount of pressure was beyond my knowledge. It was interesting, but I felt no need to test it out myself. If I tried to do that on one of Levi's shaving cuts, he would probably mutilate me.

And speaking of Levi, he was actually the first one to talk. "So, it's obvious that I must have known this former person, now angel, in a past lifetime of mine, correct? I wouldn't be able to see her otherwise, right?" Yes, he was right. I showed him that by giving him a nod. "I thought so. What I'm concerned about is how violently, yet uncertainly, you reacted upon seeing her, Eren. Why was that?"

Oh, where did I even  _begin_  with a story like that? Our training days? The difference in our military affiliations? The fifty-seventh expedition? The raid on Stohess? All were mighty fine places to start, but ironically enough, I didn't even have to. Annie stole the spotlight.

"He doesn't remember," she whispered, and for whatever reason, she sounded a bit melancholy in doing so. When she proceeded to continue, she took up a more refined tone. "These hands aren't just stained with my own blood, but with the blood of others, as well. To make things short, I betrayed him. I betrayed everyone. But that's all buried in the past now. I've done my time in purgatory to repay for all of that."

She did her time in purgatory? Historia and Jean hadn't mentioned anything about that. Heaven and Hell, sure, but purgatory? My bewildered expression was enough incentive for her to explain herself further. Oh, but not before she emitted another exhale first.

"Purgatory, Eren. It's a place where you go to repent for your sins. Think of it as an afterlife's equivalent of prison."

"But, Annie," I interrupted, "I don't understand. You were in that...you became, like, a crystal thing. How did you...?"

"Simple. I died." Oh. Well, okay?

"But  _how_?"

"My soul was stripped from my body?" Annie used to have a habit of accentuating her words, when she felt that the answer was pretty obvious. Apparently, it was a habit she never saw fit to break.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Eren, think about it for a minute," she instructed. "I was in a dense substance for multiple years with no way of eating, drinking, or breathing. What did you think was going to happen to me?"

Well, when she put it like that, I guess the answer  _was_ fairly obvious. Of course she was going to die in there. She was a Titan, but she was also human, and humans needed a certain amount of sustenance to survive. I totally knew that. I definitely, totally knew that.

Regardless, there were still so many questions that needed answering, however, I would negate all questions that were Titan-related. The past was the past. I needed to stop being a hypocrite, build a bridge, and get over it. But even without those kinds of questions, I still had a lot more that I wanted to be answered. Had the lifetime when I'd known Annie been her last? How long had she been in purgatory? Why had she, of all people, become an angel? I needed to at  _least_  ask her the very last one. Maybe, just maybe, it would end up giving me the answers to all three. "Annie," I began, altering my voice. Up until that point, I'd been addressing her as if she was still the enemy. Evidently, she wasn't anymore. Even though I didn't appreciate her comment about my guardian status, I figured it was about time to let it slide. Let bygones be bygones. And besides, that was Annie for you. She had never been one to filter herself. "Why are you an angel?"

"Why are  _you_  an angel?" she countered.

"Uh," I shouldn't have had to put much thought into that, but I did. "Because...I was reborn this way?"

"That's right, and so was I."

But that still didn't answer my unstated question about purgatory, nor did it answer whether or not the lifetime when we'd known each other had been her last. If I wanted these answers, I was just going to have to ask them. "But what about your lifetimes, Annie? And purgatory? You mentioned something about being in purgatory."

This time, I could understand it when she sighed. I was basically asking her to tell me her whole life's story, which was kind of annoying, but whatever. It wasn't everyday that you met another angel, and aside from Jean, Historia, the one angel that I'd seen on my first day back on Earth, and myself personally, she was the only other angel I'd ever come into contact with. Why was it that my supposed afterlife consisted of so many people from my first life? It made everything feel oddly nostalgic in a distorted kind of way.

"If it'll make things easier, let me just start from the beginning," Annie said, eyeing her fingers before looking back over to Levi and me. "The lifetime where I knew the both of you was not my first; it was my second, but it was also my last. I remembered having dreams about a girl who resembled me, but was a part of a world where the walls were very different. Anyways, I'm not going to get into too many details about that."

I noticed that Annie's hand was lifting back up to her neck again, threatening to start itching, but she'd been able to catch herself just in time. She continued relaying her story. "After I died for good, my soul entered the place known as purgatory, but like I stated before, we might as well call it 'afterlife's prison' because that's basically what it is. I'd done bad things, but I was remorseful for them, so I got a chance to think things over. It was better than going to Hell, yeah, but it was still pretty boring. What's so interesting about spending a thousand years in a grey wasteland with no one to talk to but yourself? The answer is nothing."

"One thousand years is a Hell of a long time," Levi stated, making his contribution to the conversation.

Annie nodded and rolled her shoulders back. Were her wings hurting her? Actually, I didn't doubt that for a second. "Yeah, tell me about it. Anyway, after my time was up and I was allowed to leave, my soul didn't end up going to Heaven like I'd been expecting. Instead, I ended up hatching out of this gross egg thing, all the while having two caretaker angels laughing at me and my struggle. I can't really explain why my soul ended up being housed by the body of an angel, and I'm sure you can't either, Eren. It's just a thing that happens and we learn to get used to it."

Annie continued to describe occurrences that were familiar to me: learning how to sleep properly (which I didn't exactly do anymore), learning how to fly, and understanding what your goal was in your angelic life. Just the same as me, she talked about having an unexplainable feeling of needing to be beside the human that you were destined to protect, the human that you were destined to  _guard_. "My guarded human was Mina Carolina."

"Mina?!" I couldn't control my interjection. "But that, but you! That would mean-! And...you? Where were-?" Annie was about to put a stop to my sputtering by touching her fingers to my lips, but I quickly withdrew. There was no way I was going to have her blood on my mouth.

"If you want answers, let me give them," she grumbled. "Look, I've said this a lot, but like I was  _saying_ , Mina Carolina was my guarded human. Can you guess what the key word is there? Actually, don't answer that."

Hey, it didn't take rocket science to figure out that the key word was, indeed,  _was_.

"Just like you are right now, I was one of those rare instances where a guardian angel was destined to guard someone that they had known from a past lifetime. Actually, I was the first angel to have such a privilege. I'd been told time and time again by my caretaker angels that my human would not be able to see me or touch me, but I proved them very wrong. Even though she was just a baby at the time, Mina could do both."

I found it fascinating when Annie continued to tell us about how she had been able to watch Mina grow up, from an infant, to a toddler, to a child, and how her and Mina's relationship began to develop. That was when her story took a turn for the worst. "At age seven, Mina died from scarlet fever and there was nothing I could do about it. I'm sure you've already come to this conclusion by now, Eren, but angels cannot prevent, nor can we cure human illnesses. We can protect our guarded humans from dangerous situations such as slipping, falling, or getting hurt, but that's as far as our basic powers go. Mostly, we're subjected to an eternal lifetime of watching and waiting. Watching our guarded humans grow; waiting for them to die. And then, you repeat."

This was new knowledge to me. "What do you mean?"

"Eren, how much do you even  _know_  about being a guardian angel?" I didn't want to say anything, but Annie had been scratching at her wrist for the past minute or so. Interesting, because the answer to that question had made even  _me_  want to start itching.

"Well, uh..." I hesitated, and looked over at Levi for support. His eyes had been glued to Annie's scratching fingers, but when he noticed that I needed some encouragement, he gave me a nod. "Well," I repeated, "the truth is, I don't know very much at all. Jean and Historia kind of prepared me with the basics, but that was about-"

"Jean and...who?" Annie's quirked brow reminded me that she hadn't been present during the time when that "information" had made itself known. I did my best to explain it to her as rapidly as possible.

"Oh, um, Jean and Krista. My caretaker angels were Jean and Krista."

Annie didn't even question why I'd referred to Krista as Historia - which, in the interest of time, was probably a good thing. Instead, she made a statement of her own. "You're basing your knowledge of what it's like to be a guardian angel on what  _caretaker_  angels have told you?"

"Um, yes...?" When she put it like that, it did sound kind of strange. A different occupation telling me all that I needed to know? That was like having a nurse telling you what it was like to be a police officer; the two things just didn't go together.

"Wow," was the first thing that came out of Annie's mouth, followed by, "You don't know anything."

Quite frankly, I liked to believe that I  _did_  know a few things. My aggression was starting to return. "I know that my life's purpose is to protect my guarded human, no matter the circumstance, and I'll have you know that I've already done that on more than one occasion. You have no right to tell me that I don't know anything, because although I'm still new at this, and admittedly don't know very much, the one thing that I  _do_  know is the most important."

It was shocking that Annie had ended up agreeing with me, but before long, she had her own input, and boy, did she have a lot to say. "Yeah, of course every guardian angel's goal is to protect their guarded human. That's a no-brainer, Eren. So that's what you do. You go about your life, protecting them from as much harm as you can and whatever, but then it happens. They get sick. They meet the end of their life cycle. They  _die_. And you know what happens after that? You  _follow_  them, because this isn't a mix-and-match kind of game. When you're destined to be with a human, you're destined to be with their  _soul_. Wherever that soul goes, you go with them and you  _guard_  them. You protect them for as long as you can, and then they die. It keeps going on and on. Oh, and don't even get me started on if you become an  _arch_ guardian angel. Geez, I couldn't imagine having to guard more than one soul. You get to teleport back and forth between the two, three, however many humans you're destined to be with, but it's not worth it. Being a guardian angel isn't worth anything. All you get in return is a lasting life of protection and pain."

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. There was nothing of value on my mind. All I could do was stand there like a lectured child and just absorb and memorize everything Annie had just said. However, I was forced to wonder if any of it was even reliable. Then again, she was a guardian angel herself. Wouldn't she be one of the most reliable sources to converse with?

"Wait a minute," I said, trying to get my barrings straight, "if you were Mina's guardian angel, why haven't I seen you before? In my last lifetime, I attended the same school as her, but I've never seen you. Not even once."

Annie breathed, and instead of scratching her wrist, she began to pick at her neck again. "What part about ' _was_ ' did you not understand, Eren?" she inquired. "I  _was_ her guardian angel. I'm not anymore. In fact, I was long gone before you even came into her life again."

Okay, back up. Now she was contradicting herself. Didn't she just say that being a guardian angel was a full-time sort of deal? No matter where the soul went, you went with it? How could somebody just  _stop_  being a guardian angel? "What happened to what you just said?" I asked. "You made it sound like being a guardian angel is an eternal job. How can you just, you know, not  _be_  one anymore?"

"Here's a question for you, Eren," Annie said. She caught me off guard by saying that. "What do you remember about Mina? Here's a hint: she and your guarded human are very much alike in this nature."

I felt like nothing was making sense anymore. Mina and Levi were  _nothing_  alike. In my last lifetime, Mina had been annoying and clingy and  _way_  too talkative. Levi was the exact opposite. He was enjoyable to be around, loved to cuddle, but was never obnoxious about it, and was able to monitor the flow of his dialogue. Even when he was working, his personality was far more appealing that Mina's had ever been. What was it that made them the same?

Then, I remembered what Annie had whispered. In her gentle tone, she'd spoken the answer to her question long before it had even been asked. Unable to wrap my head around how any of this was relevant, I cautiously responded, "Both Mina and Levi don't remember their past lives."

"That's right."

If I was right, why wasn't she telling me about the connection between the two? Was she expecting me to answer everything on my own just like Erwin?

That's when Annie began to itch again, and this time, it was far worse than before. Her hands, both of them, had taken to her wings. She was scratching at them furiously, and her feathers were flying everywhere. I glanced over to Levi as we both watched her, awestruck and horrified, and listened to the repulsive sound of nail against bone. At the rate that she was scratching, she wasn't going to have any feathers left.

That's when I realized that Annie had never revoked her title of being a guardian angel. That itch, I knew it all too well. It was the itch of being away from your guarded human for too long, the desire to know that they were safe and sound. If Annie's case was this severe, it must have been just like she'd said: she'd been away from Mina for a very long time.

By the time her itching had died down to a delicate patting and ruffling of her feathers, I could tell that the answer I was searching for was finally going to be heard. The question was, after that horrendous display, did I still want to hear it?

Well, it was a little too late for having second thoughts, because as Annie flicked feathers off of her bloodstained fingernails, she looked at me with both an expression of sorrow and disgust. "Eren, don't you understand? After your guarded human dies, he's not going to remember you. Just like Mina has never remembered me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Wowie! This chapter had a lot of explaining and things in it, but at least you guys know a little bit more about how guardian angels operate!
> 
> I had the idea for this chapter way back in the beginning stages of this story, and it's funny how many changes it actually went through before I wrote the final product. I hope it didn't disappoint!
> 
> As always, thank you for taking the time to read! I always, always appreciate it!
> 
> \- Chappy


	28. Pros and Cons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being a guardian angel is like being married.

_He's not going to remember you._

My ears were ringing and my mind was in a blur. Those words, they were buzzing, but I didn't want to hear them. I didn't want to listen to them. I didn't want to  _believe_  them.

If I had been smart, I would have been able to figure this out on my own without any of Annie's lecturing. It was simple math, really. Two plus two equals four; if your guarded human has never remembered their past lifetimes before, there's a zero percent chance that they'll remember them in the future. See? Simple math. It's a shame that I'm so bad at it.

My initial response was a physical one. With uncertain footsteps, I began to back away from both Levi and Annie. I could feel a numbing sensation spreading down to my extremities, which could have been the reasoning behind my slight, but noticeable stumble. Tripping over myself at a time like this wouldn't have been a good idea.

_He's not going to remember you._

The words were still there, no matter how hard I had tried to will them away. They made me realize things I had never even realized before, never even cared to think about.

Levi and I had made a promise. We promised each other that we would live in the present, in the  _now_ , and just let the past be the past. But someday, there will come a time when the present will  _become_  the past. Then what? Do we just live on like there was never any history before us? Like our lives beforehand held absolutely no meaning? Like there was never any tangible evidence that something romantic was starting to blossom between us? I felt sick.

Sick. Eventually, Levi is going to get sick, and just like Annie had said, there will be nothing that I can do about it. There's no cure or mystical remedy for human illness. Us guardian angels, we're subjected to watching the one person, to whom we've devoted our entire afterlives to, perish before our very eyes.

As a human, I had become so immune to the act dying over and over again that it was merely routine, but to someone who doesn't recall such a thing, dying feels new every time. The same goes for being reborn and dying all over again. That's just the cycle of life, and it's a twisted, messed up one, if you ask me.

When I felt something tickling against my arm, I had to remind myself that I wasn't alone. I could lament over all of these horrible thoughts all that I wanted to, but it didn't change the fact that Annie and Levi were still present, and it most certainly didn't change the fact that it was Levi's hand that I had felt against my arm. His voice came next.

"Eren, are you okay? You're shaking."

Soft and smooth, just like his fingers, his tender words had replaced Annie's.  _Eren, are you okay? You're shaking._  That was the new mantra that played throughout my head, and it was one that I graciously accepted. That had been news to me, though. Was I really shaking?

Slowly, my gaze shifted down toward the arm that Levi was touching. Extending my vision, I could vaguely see the tips of my fingers twitching and shivering with visible emotion. Levi was right; I  _was_  shaking, but that shouldn't have been a surprise to me. Levi was  _always_  right.

"Eren?"

Hearing him speak for the second time had finally prompted me to answer. My voice was nearly non-existent, as I said, "I'm fine, Levi." This time around, I had used my response in the proper context (e.g. I hadn't misinterpreted him, and Levi hadn't instructed me to "get up" afterwards).

I wasn't looking at him, but I heard Levi sigh. Was he copying Annie now? "How many times have I told you not to lie to me, Eren? You're obviously not fine. I  _know_  when you're fine, and this isn't it."

Oh. This was easily turning out to be just another one of those scenarios where Levi was on a roll, because there he was, right once again. My instinct was to immediately apologize for my fib, but then I remembered that Levi didn't like it when I did that, either. Without knowing what to do, my wings gradually began to slump, only to perk right back up again.

The hand that Levi had used to touch my arm had taken a turn and began to calmly stroke my feathers. Slowly but surely, that kind gesture had been the key to chasing away my jitters. The key; that reminded me. On our way out of the apartment, Levi had taken my Christmas present with him, right? Did he still have it? Now wasn't the time to ask. However, it  _was_  the time to enjoy the sweet sensation that was Levi's flawless fingers.

In that moment, I, too, had taken after Annie by releasing a soft sigh. At least my sigh had been one of undefinable bliss, rather than one of utter annoyance.

Wait.  _Annie_. She was still there, wasn't she? Curiously, I looked over to where I assumed she was standing. Yup, still there, and she'd started scratching at the back of her neck again. I wanted to address it, but Levi's hand was proving to be very distracting. It was so distracting that I almost didn't hear him when he asked, "Are you okay now? Tell me the truth this time."

"I'm feeling better, yes. Thank you," I replied, because that  _was_  the truth. I  _was_  feeling better than I had been before. One-hundred percent? No, not exactly. Better? Yes, definitely.

Levi must have accepted my answer, because without a moment's notice, his focus was directed elsewhere. "Hey," he spoke up. I noticed right away that he had captured Annie's attention.

"Are you talking to me?" she questioned defensively.

I watched Levi nod. "I am."

"Okay, then. What?"

He pointed at her. "Your neck is bleeding again."

Annie instantly retracted her hand from her neck, only to examine the damage that she had done to herself yet again. Because she had been picking at an area that was already rather fragile, the end results were just that much more repulsive. Even Annie, who I'm sure must have seen this happen on multiple occasions, looked disgusted with herself.

It was interesting how the brain - my brain specifically - worked in wonderfully mysterious ways, and for a fraction of a second, I wasn't looking at Annie anymore; I was looking at the potential of what I could become. A guardian angel, so bitter with remorse over the idea of being forgotten, that they've fled from their guarded human, never to protect them again. Lost and alone, living a life without a purpose. Then came the itching and the scratching, the  _need_ to be beside them. In the end, was it really worth it? Did the pros outweigh the cons?

No.

After seeing myself in Annie's situation, I couldn't help picturing what Mina's life must have been like. For a freshman in a public high school, she seemed to have come from a financially well-off family. Her clothes were always nice, and although she was bothersome and didn't know when to shut her mouth, she seemed like the kind of girl who had a lot of friends. But who knows. That could have only been her life on the surface. That could have been the hard, outer coating that concealed her vulnerability, the same vulnerability that was within all humans, the vulnerability that guardian angels strived to protect.

Everyone needs a guardian angel. No matter where they come from or who they are, everyone needs to be protected.

And Mina Carolina was no different.

I began to speak without thinking. "It's not easy, Annie. Being forgotten, I mean. I know that it's not easy. But you know what I think is a lot harder? What you're going through right now."

Annie listened. Her eyes were on mine, and instead of exhaling out of exasperation or responding sarcastically, she was silent. She seemed receptive of what I had to say.

Before continuing my train of thought, my mind began to wander - but really, what else was new? All this time, I had been thinking of myself, of Annie, and of Mina...but what about Levi? He was still here, sifting his fingers aimlessly through my wing, and he was the young man that, no matter how much pain, grief, or suffering that I felt personally, I just couldn't justify leaving his side.

Being a guardian angel, it was almost like being married. Actually, it was  _more_  than that. In sickness and in health? Yup. In good times and in bad? Definitely, but it went  _beyond_  that. Until death do us part? Not at chance.

I didn't understand just how long I had been lost in my thoughts, until Annie had said, "Was that all you wanted to say, Eren?"

"No," I answered, because it wasn't. "No, I just, I was thinking about something."

She didn't look the least bit interested in what had been going through my head, but shockingly enough, she asked, "What were you thinking about?"

I was honest with her. "Mina, actually."

Ah, there it was. The trigger to both her intrigue and her itching. I had regained Annie's attention. "Why were you thinking about her?"

It's difficult not to think about someone after they've been continuously mentioned throughout a lengthy conversation, and I'm pretty sure Annie had known that before she had even asked me such a question. Still, I wanted to keep things fresh. I ended up throwing her a curve ball of information. "Mina was the last person I saw, before I died." She wasn't the last person that I had come into contact with - technically, the driver of that out of control car had been my last - but she was officially the last person that I had held a conversation with in my human life.

Even though Annie had been a very stoic human being, I could tell that becoming an angel had made her soft. Er, well,  _softer_. My words had come as a surprise to her, that was for sure, but they weren't enough to elicit any sort of strong emotion out of her. In fact, all she had said to that was, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I thought that it was something you would have liked to know," I replied, and I didn't stop there. "My last conversation with her had made her very upset."

Oh, that had struck something within her. I didn't want to mention it, but I was able to catch Annie swallowing apprehensively before she resorted back to her unfazed facade. It was because of that restrained emotion that I had half been expecting her to say something like, "Why should I care?" or "Good for you," but instead, she threw me a curve ball of her own. "What did you say to her?"

"I can't remember specifics," and that was the honest-to-goodness truth. "All I remember is that she was confessing her love for me, or something stupid like that, and I turned her down."

"Don't call Mina stupid." Good. My plan had worked.

In reality, I hadn't wanted to use that word, but I knew that if I did, it would have gotten me somewhere with her. We were both guardian angels, and whether Annie liked it or not, she was still going to react like one. Having her guarded human's emotions referred to as stupid? Yeah, that was going to get her to bite.

"What?" I questioned, faking innocent. "I mean, there's no need to get so defensive, right? It's not like you're her guardian angel anymore."

In the midst of my statement, I felt Levi giving my feathers a tug. Either he was egging me on and indirectly telling me to keep doing what I was doing, or he was warning me to choose my words more wisely. Whatever that pull had meant, one thing was for certain: he'd already caught on to what my plan was.

I may or may not have been stepping on a landmine by saying what I thought of next. "She's probably suffering."

Saying that Mina could have been "suffering" was a bit of a stretch, but that didn't stop me from saying it regardless. I had to give it a shot. I had to hold strong. I had to show Annie what I could see.

"She's not suffering." I was getting through to her. I could see it in her demeanor.

I wasn't sure what type of role I was trying to play - human, angel, God - but I was starting to cross a boundary. It left me with an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I had to carry on. Now that I've seen suffering with my very own eyes, I couldn't let Annie live on like this. The pros didn't outweigh the cons.

"How do you know?" I inquired suspiciously. "You're not with her right now, so how do you know? For all your knowledge is worth, she could be with her family, happily celebrating her Christmas morning, or she could be curled up on her bed, limbs pulled together in a fetal kind of position, crying her eyes out."

At this point, Annie was so hungry that she was feeding herself lies. "She's not crying, Eren," she whispered. "She's happy. She's happily living out the rest of her life, and she'll continue to live happily in her next life and in her life after that one."

Although the cost of my actions had ultimately taken me away from Levi's comforting hands, I took a tentative step forward. "But you don't know that for sure, Annie." Instead of accusing her for what she claimed to know, I spoke to her gently. "You don't know anything about Mina in her life as it is right now, and it's killing you on the inside...and out."

"Eren, stop," Annie whispered again. It was a wonder that she had been able to keep her gaze glued to mine throughout most of our back and forth, but after hearing what I'd said last, she broke apart from our eye contact. "Stop talking."

I took another step. "Even though she doesn't remember, I get the feeling that Mina is very lonely without you."

"Stop." Annie had started shaking. She wasn't playing around anymore. She seriously wanted me to stop.

With a final step, I swooped my head low in an attempt to relocate Annie's eyes. I had one last thing to say, and I needed to make sure that I was being heard. "Mina needed you on the day that I died. Even if it was the only time in her life when you were actually necessary, she definitely needed you. But you weren't there for her. You weren't there to comfort her. You weren't there to wrap her in your wing and hold her close until she stopped crying. You weren't there to help her get through the death of someone she loved. Annie, you weren't there to help her through the very same pain that you've felt time and time again."

"That's enough, Eren." She was close to her breaking point, but not close enough.

I pushed her just a little bit further. "She needed you, Annie. Mina needed-"

"Enough!"

And there it was. That was the final shove that had thrown Annie over the edge.

In one moment, I was stable; in the next, I felt my feet stumbling backward, attempting to keep my body steady. It was hard to describe what had happened exactly, but applying the same amount of force that she had used when she had kicked me off of herself, Annie lurched forward and viciously grabbed at my shoulders. It wasn't until she began shouting at me again that I realized she had started crying. An angel in tears; such a tragically beautiful sight.

"I can't handle it anymore, Eren!" she cried, but her voice was hardly in despair. She was aggressive,  _frustrated_. Those tears were tears of anger, but just who was it that she was angry at? Was it me, or was it herself?

Holding my ground, my wings began to flare. Annie was strong, stronger than I was, but I wasn't going to give in to her attack without putting up a fight of my own. I grasped onto her hands and squeezed her fingers together until my knuckles went white. That's when I asked her, "What is it, Annie? What can't you handle?"

"Everything. Anything." Her voice fell dangerously low. "I can't handle anything anymore." I could feel her trying to rip her hands away from mine. I didn't let her. "I can't handle the pain. I can't handle being forgotten. The itching, the bleeding...it hurts. I can't handle never knowing. I can't handle being by her side. I can't handle being by her side...but at the same time, I can't handle  _not_  being by her side."

Annie's grip on my shoulders began to loosen, and as an aftereffect, my grasp on her hands began to lessen, as well. She was calming down, coming to her senses. She could finally see it. Should could see what I could see.

"I'm afraid of being forgotten, too, Annie," I breathed, choosing to look directly into her pain-stricken eyes, "but there's something that scares me more than the idea of being forgotten, and that's not being able to be there to protect the person that I love the most, especially when they need me to be there for them."

Annie didn't have to say anything; I knew that her feelings were the same as mine. We were of the same species after all, and although we were quite diverse in many different ways, we were connected by the same principle that tied all angels of guardian status together: we always desired to be with and to protect our guarded humans.

As Annie let go of my shoulders entirely, our hands gradually fell to both of our sides. She wasn't looking up at me anymore, but I still had my sights on her. For a length of time, we were both silently absorbing what each other had said. When the silence became louder than sound, Annie sliced through it with her almost inaudible whisper of, "Why?"

"Why, what?" I wondered. "Why" could have been a question of many things. Why was the sky blue? Why was the grass green? Why was the world so cruel?

"Why did you say all of that? Why did you make me start thinking about things that have changed my perception of everything?"

"Because I saw myself in you."

That had gotten Annie to finally look up at me again. "What?"

I nodded at her question, and in the same sequence, I could sense that Levi was approaching. Seconds later, his hands had returned to my wings. Bless his beautiful soul. "Let me rephrase that," I stated. "By looking at you, I saw someone that I could eventually become and I didn't like it. We may not have been like one another in the past, Annie, but the present has proven that we are far more similar than we would like to think."

She eyed me skeptically. "How so?"

"I fell in love with my guarded human," I murmured. "And you fell in love with yours."

Bingo. I'd hit the jackpot with that one.

In our short expanse of time together, I had witnessed Annie venturing through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and lastly, acceptance. She denied Mina's hypothetical suffering. She grew angered by my words of provocation. She bargained with herself to suppress her scratching. She became depressed over the notion of being forgotten. She accepted her undeniable feelings of love for Mina Carolina.

It is extremely rare for a guardian angel to be assigned to protect someone they had known in a previous life. It is not rare for a guardian angel to fall in love with their guarded human. Annie and I, we fell somewhere between the spectrum of extremes.

It was then that I noticed she had been quiet for quite some time. She seemed to be in deep thought over something or other, when I asked her, "Annie, are you okay?"

"I don't know what to do, Eren." She had every opportunity to make herself sound pathetic by saying something like that, but in actually, it did just the opposite; it made her sound strong. It made her sound  _human_ , which honestly, I couldn't see how that was such a bad thing.

Inhaling deeply for more reasons than one - one of those reasons could have been attributed to Levi's godly hands, because holy crap, he'd started massaging feathers - I thought over my response carefully, playing it and replaying it over in my head, before eventually saying, "You should go back to Mina. It's not just for her sake, but it's for yours, too."

I didn't think that Annie would be the type of person to agree with anything that I had to say, but she was soon proving that such a theory had been wrong all along. She could see them now, the pros and the cons, but really, were there every any pros in this sort of scenario to begin with? No, there weren't. The pros didn't outweigh the cons, because the pros weren't there. The pros didn't exist. The pros  _never_  existed.

"My appearance will scare her," Annie said, and it was an excuse that caused her nearly featherless wings to fidget. "I don't even  _look_  like a guardian angel anymore. I look like a mongrel."

"You look like a fighter."

Both Annie's and my eyes went wide with surprise. It was shocking that Levi, who had been very quiet throughout most of this encounter, had been the one to say that. It caused Annie to bashfully tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Is that a good thing?" she wondered.

"I think so," he said, poking his head out from behind my left wing. "And I think this Mina person will think so, too. You're a Hell of a fighter, Annie. I'm pretty sure that your guarded human would feel very safe around you someone like you."

Ah, Levi. Always a smooth talker, even when he wasn't in the salon.

Annie seemed to receive Levi's compliment graciously, and with that being said, all that was left was for her to make her final decision: would she return to Mina, or would she continue to live her life as a wandering angel?

"So," I began, voicing the main question that was on my mind, "what are going to do, Annie?"

Her answer had been fairly obvious, but hearing her say it out loud left me with a sense of pride. She and I had helped each other to see things that we hadn't seen before, and with a feeling of satisfaction that was all her own, she bowed her head to the two people that were a mirrored reflection of herself, and said the words that she must have never thought she would actually be saying.

"I'm going back to Mina," she whispered. "I'm going home."

 

* * *

 

Standing outside of the apartment complex, Levi and I took the liberty of seeing Annie off. It still baffled me how an angel with so little feathers could keep her balance and actually  _fly_ , and  _fast_ , too. I should have asked her about it, before she took off. Darn. Oh, well. Maybe there were some things I was better off not knowing.

By the time Annie was completely out of sight, Levi and I still hadn't said a word to each other. Our shared silences were usually comfortable and relaxing, but after an event like that, the lack of conversation left me feeling a bit uneasy. What was he thinking about? Was he overwhelmed with what had just taken place? I wouldn't blame him if he was. Everything that had been discussed, it was a lot to take in.

Turning over to face him, I was actually caught by surprise to see that he had already been looking at me, as if anticipating my gaze. I began to wonder just how long he had been staring. "Levi," I said, "are you okay?"

He nodded. I saw his eyes flicker over to the road as a minivan passed us by, but as soon as the vehicle was gone, I'd regained his attention. "You know, it's only been a little under two months, but I'm really starting to get used to all of this supernatural stuff. Seeing another angel was shocking at first, especially since, you know, I could  _see_  her, but I got over it pretty fast. She had a lot of interesting things to say, a lot of problems that needed to be sorted out. But you should be proud of yourself, Eren. Because of your stubbornness, you just gave an angel and her human one of the best Christmas presents that anyone could have ever asked for."

Blood rushed to my cheeks, displaying a lovely shade of rosy red for Levi to see. Having him praise me for something that came naturally to my character was enlightening. It encouraged me to continue just being myself around him - which is what he wanted me to do in the first place - because if that was going to earn me his praise, then I sure as heck was going to keep doing it.

"I do have one thing that I want to ask you, though," Levi said. I could tell that he was looking directly at my blush, which only induced a larger blood flow.

"Y-yeah?" Crap. I had stuttered.

"Are you really afraid of being forgotten?"

For someone whose occupation was to be on their guard at all times, Levi sure had a way of catching me off of mine. His question had been so unexpected that I awkwardly asked him to repeat it, to which he said, "I want to know if you're really afraid of being forgotten, Eren. Is that something that really scares you?"

There was no use lying around Levi, that was for sure. Still, I had to put some thought into my answer, before I said it. "If I'm going to be honest, I would have to say yes, it does scare me a little bit. But you know what, Levi? I thought about what you said, and it ended up calming me down."

"Oh?" Levi seemed intrigued. "What did I say?"

"You told me to live in the present," I responded courteously. "Actually, that was something that we both promised to do. I know that when you said that, you were referring to the fact that you didn't want me to be constantly thinking about the past, but why can't that same state of mind be applied to the future, as well?"

Levi was always right, but for once,  _I_  was right, too, and he acknowledged that by giving me a gentle pat on my shoulder. "You're right, Eren. The present refers to the now, and that's the only thing that you and I should be focusing. And speaking of right now, I'm going to ask you another question."

Curiosity piqued, I asked, "Yes? What is it, Levi?"

"What are you going to do, Eren?"

Huh. That question sounded oddly familiar. I wondered why.

A small smile came to my lips, as I got ready to say my response. Just as Annie had been prideful in her answer, I felt entirely fulfilled when I delivered mine. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life with the person that I love the most in this world. No matter how troubling or painful things may become, I will always be by your side, Levi."

After a brief pause, I bit the corner of my lip. If I was going to be  _completely_  honest with Levi and give him my  _full_  answer, then there was something else that I needed to add. "Oh, and there's one more thing that I'm going to do."

"Hm? What's that?"

My wings began to flutter as rapidly as my beating heart, because in the heat of the moment, I hadn't realized how ridiculous I was going to sound, until I had actually spoken my reply. "I'm...I'm going to kiss you."

Levi could have responded in an array of different ways. He could had laughed, scoffed, rolled his eyes, or shaken his head, but he ended up going with something better. He ended up saying the two, simple words that I had been secretly and desperately hoping that he would reply with. He gave me a nod. "Not bad."

Now that I'd given my hidden intentions away, I was beginning to feel self-conscious. It wasn't like this would have been my first time kissing Levi - we kissed each other earlier that very morning - but for whatever reason, my body felt frozen in place. What should I do? Tilt my head to the left? The right? Bend down a little bit? Oh God, no. That would be insulting.

But ultimately, it was Levi himself who had chased my insecurities away. He had been waiting patiently while I underwent a mental feud over which way to turn my head, but patience with him only lasted so long.

He was looking at me, and seeing as I'd been so wound up in my own thoughts, I hadn't realized that his eyes had narrowed ever so slightly, ever so  _hungrily_. I'd seen that look before. I'd seen it countless times in the past, but in actuality, I'd seen him give me the very same look what could have only been two hours ago. He was ready. He wanted to kiss me.

No, wait. It was the other way around. He wanted  _me_  to kiss  _him_.

"Well? What are you waiting for, Eren? Go ahead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here! 
> 
> Ahh, what's this? Will there actually be fluff in the next chapter? Oh, I think there might be. (:
> 
> Now, can I ask all of you a question for a second? Having to write about Annie being so itchy all the time made me feel itchy myself! But what about you? Did you guys feel itchy reading about it, too?
> 
> It's so hard to believe that this story has made it all the way up to chapter 28, and with more still to come. Like, wow. Seriously, I thank you all so, so much for sticking with me from the beginning, coming back to read my updates every week, and of course, for leaving me kind comments and reviews that undoubtedly lift my spirits. I've said it before, but I'll say it again. You guys are the best! Thank you very much! (:
> 
> Oh! And as always, thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	29. Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling in love: a term that humans used so sparingly was a term that guardian angels found to be very frightening.

What was I waiting for? That was a good question. I'd spent lifetimes upon lifetimes waiting for a moment like this, and what? I was  _still_  waiting? Well, that couldn't have been anyone else's fault but my own, because standing right there, right in front of me, with his eyes glued to mine and our hearts open wide, Levi was the one who was  _truly_  waiting. He was waiting for me to make my move, and so I had to grant him something, anything, that would let him know that I had every intention to stick to my word.

I touched his hand.

For a second, he flinched. The sensation of my warming fingers against his own must have caused him a bit of shock, but  _only_  a bit. He instantly recovered, and after tapping one of his cold fingers against mine, said, "It didn't take you this long to kiss me a couple of hours ago. What happened?"

I could tell that he was asking me that seriously, but at the same time, his voice had been so tender and inviting that I didn't feel intimidated by his question at all. If he wanted an answer, I would be sure to give it.

I didn't really think through what I had been wanting to say, so instead of properly planning out my answer like I probably should have, I just ended up blurting out the first thing that came to mind. "It's because, well, our kiss is going to feel a little bit different now..."

"Oh, yeah?" Levi seemed pretty intrigued by that. He even made a show of folding his arms in a quizzical manner to express his interest. "How so?"

If there had been a less abrupt route to my answer, I would have taken it. Seeing as all of my paths were blocked, and detours diluted my way of thinking, again, the first thing that came into my head was the first thing that came out of my mouth. And judging by what my response had been, it could have been either a good or a bad thing; Levi would be the judge of that.

"It's going to feel a bit different," I started, as I absentmindedly held onto my right wing for support, "because once you and I start kissing, this time around...I'm not going to want to stop."

It was a good thing that I had been holding onto my feathers for their feeling of comfort, because after hearing my honest answer, Levi looked as if he had just seen a ghost - and I would know. I was there to witness his face, when he actually saw one.

Eyes wide and eyebrows pulled together into a crease, a rumbling of regret began to rattle my bones. What I said, had it been too much? Were he and I not at that level in our relationship yet? Were were exclusive, but maybe we weren't  _that_  exclusive. Somehow, all of this was starting to feel like deja vu, but maybe that was just me, too. My head was starting to hurt; that's when Levi's voice came in.

"You know, Eren," he said, and as I automatically turned my attention back over to him, I noticed all of the important things first. His eyes were no longer wide, his eyebrows were where they were supposed to be, and as an added bonus, all of his facial features appeared to be very relaxed and almost...desirable. Again, that was probably just me.

Actually, no, it  _wasn't_  just me, because after I had prompted him to continue his statement with a basic enough question (i.e. "What is it, Levi?"), he surprised me by saying something that I didn't know I had been desperately craving to hear.

"We can't never stop, if we don't even get ourselves started in the first place."

Okay, Levi was obviously as smooth as ever. Not to mention, for what was probably the billionth time, he was absolutely right again. If I wanted to kiss him - which Lord Almighty knew that I did - I was just going to have to do it. And just like this morning, I gave him no warning; doing so would have only caused me to feel more anxious than I already was. It was a horrible analogy, really, but if I was going to do this, I had to act fast, just like someone would when they were ripping off a band-aid. Clearly, kissing Levi was much better than a band-aid, and before I could put anymore thought into it, I used Levi's words as my guide to bring me forward.

And I did it. I kissed him.

I would never mention it, but I did have to marginally bend my knees to get our lips into proper alignment. I had been hoping to hit my mark on the very first try, but sadly, I've never been known to have the perfect aim. Before our lips had touched, the tips of our noses brushed up against each other's. I almost apologized for failing to give Levi an adequate start to our kiss, but that's when I heard the soft sound of his amused sigh. Even without the perfect positioning, I could tell that he was enjoying himself, and that gave me all the more incentive to calm down, let my instincts take over, and just do whatever felt right, just like he and I would have done back then.

When our lips had finally found each other's, there was an undeniable sense of, "Oh, alright. I know how this goes." We were hardly professionals - because who in their right mind was a professional at kissing - but we were  _naturals_. Everything that our lips did, every way that they moved up against one another and pressed together, was only done because it was what came naturally to us. So, yeah. Definitely not professionals.

From very early on, I understood that I was the one in full control of the kiss. Levi was responsive to me, of course, but he had metaphorically handed me the reigns. I was the one who had initiated this whole scenario, so it was only common courtesy that I be the one to lead the way. Truth be told, there was something very satisfying in that.

I classified the first stages of our kiss as a series of slow pecks. Just when our lips were getting a feel for one another, we would break apart, breathe, and reunite them together once more. It was a slow process, but it was a good starting place. There was no need to get into the hot and heavy stuff right off the bat. Both parties would be tuckered out long before either of them were even close to having their needs met, and after getting interrupted earlier, I had a sense that Levi and I were both feeling very needy.

Gradually, our pecks became quicker, and instead of awkwardly standing with our hands by our sides like a pair of grade schoolers, I took the first step in introducing - rather,  _reintroducing_  just how much a simple touch could add to the overall aspects of a kiss.

I carefully slid my fingers up the length of Levi's arm, only to flatten my palm when I had reached the ball of his shoulder. From there, I held onto him loosely. I knew that he wasn't going anywhere, but it was an added sense of stability that allowed my subconscious to feel at ease.

Just from the rhythm of our kiss alone, the back and forth that was like a seesaw on my sanity, I had been able to tell that whatever I brought to the table, Levi was right there to follow it, to  _mirror_  it.

After my hand had remained at its stopping point for more than ten seconds, I started to feel something pulling at the sleeve of my shirt. It had almost been distracting enough to break me out of the tempo that we'd set for each other, but that's when I realized it would have only been foolish to do so.

With a pace that had matched my very own, Levi's hand slipped its way up my forearm, around my elbow, and onto my shoulder where he, too, let it rest.

Treating this piece of information like I'd discovered something new, I almost felt the need to test the boundaries of Levi's copy-cat tendencies. Wanting to take our kiss a little further, I pressed my opposing hand against the center of his chest. The thick thermal of his winter jacket prevented me from getting to feel the precious pounds of his heartbeat, but that was only a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. For example, my experiment had been rewarded almost instantaneously.

Levi's hand was firmer than mine, but just the same, he pressed it directly to the center of my chest. It just so happened that this action had been made during one of our breathing breaks, to which Levi ended up taking to his advantage. Instead of sipping in a breath of air, he exhaled a string of words. "You're testing me, aren't you, Eren?"

Keeping with the flow of our kiss, it wasn't until after we'd pecked twice more that I gave him a response. "Is that a bad thing?" Since when had I become so bold? The notion of having a sense of authority must have been getting to me.

A few more pecks, an audible chuckle, and then an answer that sent my heart, as well as my wings, into a flutter. "Not at all," Levi whispered, choosing to mess with our flow in order to get all of his words out, and I didn't mind that for a second. His voice had a way of deepening after his mouth had been in constant use, and it was that tidbit of sensuality that made up for the loss of our lip-lock. "In fact, I really like it. I like feeling challenged."

If Levi was after a challenge, it was a challenge that he was going to get, because with a comment like that, there was no way that I was about to let his desires slide. And what could have been more challenging than boosting our kiss up to level two?

With our newfound pattern, our lips moved together in the same, slow-fast pace as they had been before, but it was with the reduction of our breaks in between that had caused our heads to feel dizzied by the sudden lack of air. Levi's challenge? Apparently it was going to be a challenge for survival.

Soon enough, something within our systems of senses clicked and we remembered that, oh yeah, we had another set of orifices on our faces that would give us the reprieve we were after: our noses. Inhaling at the same time, it was almost comedic just how  _in sync_ we really were with one another. It was during a moment like this that I still stuck by my prior statement; now that we had started kissing, I honestly didn't think I was ever going to want to stop.

My hand began to rub against Levi's shoulder, and like clockwork, his hand began to rub against mine. Although we were both doing the same thing, it was clear that he had the upper hand. While I still maintained the control of our kiss, he had the luxury of being able to actually  _feel_  the structure of my body beneath his fingertips; all I was able to feel was the dense plush of insulation.

Speaking of feeling, I began to feel myself pushing the pace of our kiss. Before, we had worked our lips together in a timely fashion. Slow, then fast, then back to slow again. Eventually, it was as if our slow speed had been totally rerouted. Now, everything only felt fast.

The pace of our lips, the howling of my heart, and most definitely the desperation in which I allowed myself to breathe, all of it had stopped feeling relaxed and had started feeling like, well, a  _challenge_. All it took was a shift in our speed for me to realize that I enjoyed the thrill of being challenged, as well.

We stayed like that, kissing each other rapidly and ravenously, for about three...four minutes? I honestly didn't know. My head was just so far up in the clouds that I couldn't even interpret time properly, and it was in medias res of my foggy-headedness that I had started to feel as if I were kissing Levi on a decline. Why was that? Just moments later, I heard him beginning to breathlessly laugh.

"Eren, what are you doing?" he snickered amusedly, speaking between our lips. "Come back down here."

Come back down from where? What was Levi even -  _oh_. Well, that was pretty embarrassing. Somehow, I had ended up getting myself so excited by our kiss that my wings had taken me into flight. Oddly enough, it wasn't a reaction that I was entirely a stranger to, either. Sudden bouts of strong emotions were like a trigger to my wings. They would start to flutter and flap without my knowledge, and before I knew it, I would be airborne. It was because of one of those very spurts of emotions - anger and frustration - that I had learned how to fly in the first place.

Sheepishly making my landing, I apologized for my behavior. "I'm...I'm sorry about that." Because of me, the mood was still set, but our frequency had been ruined. How would we be able to regain the rhythm that we had lost?

Still sniggering, Levi shook his head and repositioned his hands back to where they belonged. "Don't apologize, Eren," he hummed. "It was..." Cute. He had been about to call me cute (again), when a burst of shivers surged right through him. I didn't like that. I didn't like that one bit.

Removing my hands from where they were placed, I immediately cast my arms out to him. I had hoped that he would do the same as he had done before and would huddle his way into my hold, allowing me to warm him up, but instead, he turned his attention toward the front door of the apartment complex. A young woman and her daughter began to cautiously make their exit, automatically telling us that they had been there to witness some of our show. Well, Levi's show. They couldn't see me. Wow, that made things awkward.

After they were officially out of sight and probably out of hearing range, Levi returned his gaze back over to mine. I could see from within the intensity of his irises that he had something lascivious to offer. "Why don't you and I take this back...upstairs."

Yup, definitely as naughty-sounding as I had been expecting, but that still didn't change the fact that I had no idea how to appropriately respond to him other than by asking, "...Upstairs?"

Bringing his arms together in an attempt to keep himself warm - he could have just come to me, I was ready for him - he created a heated friction by rubbing his hands up and down the length of his upper arms. Finally, he repeated his prior statement for me. "Yeah, back up to the apartment."

Although I liked the idea of being out of the public eye, I had to worry that our acts would be just as unwelcome as they were outside if we brought them upstairs. "But Erwin-"

"In my bedroom, Eren. We'd be in my bedroom."

"Oh." Yeah,  _oh_.

Levi and I had kissed in his bedroom before - actually, that was where our  _first_  kiss had taken place - but for whatever reason, hearing that we'd be continuing from where we'd left off in a much more intimate setting reunited me with a budding bit of nervousness. I pushed past it. I pushed past my fears and against my anxieties, because you know what? Screw it. This was exactly what I wanted, and it was obviously what Levi wanted, too. I nodded my head in agreement. "That's sounds like...a good idea."

It was a perfect idea, really. What other place could provide as much privacy as Levi's bedroom? The bathroom? Maybe, but that was disgusting. There was nothing romantic about kissing someone on the toilet. A bedroom? Now that was a prime solution, and Levi and I were both in acknowledgement of that.

Unable to withstand the cold temperatures any further, Levi guided the way as we headed back inside the foyer, up a few flights of stairs, and around the corner. Upon approaching the apartment's front door, he had already been shoving his hand into his coat pocket to retrieve his keys. What he ended up pulling out surprised him. "Oh, yeah," he said, looking over to me, "I almost forgot that I brought this with me. Here, hold onto it."

I extended my hands for him and accepted the key that Levi had given to me as a Christmas present, while he continued to search around for his  _real_  keys. Grabbing a hold of them and shoving the correct key into the lock, he gave it a twist and we were back inside of the apartment.

A sort of heavy aura resided within the space, but it was a relief to see that Erwin was nowhere in sight. After he'd finished taking off his jacket and his shoes, Levi mentioned something about how he must have retreated to his room after we'd left, but we still kept it quiet until we had crept our way down the hall, had entered Levi's bedroom, and had locked the door behind us.

It was time to let the fun start right back up again.

Admittedly, it was a little awkward having to find ourselves again, but there were no worries. Levi and I were naturals - literally. It didn't take us very long to get into our groove.

As Levi walked over to the edge of his bed, I followed him. As he climbed onto the mattress and beckoned me to join, I obeyed him. And as he laid himself down onto the bedsheets, demanding for me to lay over him, it was clear to me that I was no longer the one in control.

Levi was.

I complied to his order and crawled over to lay on top of him, but before I knew it, he was grabbing me by the back of my neck and his lips were crashing into mine. Prior to this, we had been following  _my_  desired pace, but now, we would be following Levi's.

And wow, did he like to kiss _fast_.

My lips hardly had the chance to keep up with his own, before he was already switching the tempo. Sensing my struggle, it was with a gentle yank that our kiss had been broken apart, and Levi was breathlessly asking, "What's the matter, Eren? Can't keep up?

A challenge. That must have been it. Levi was still looking for his challenge.

Narrowing my eyes into a sinfully devilish glint, I lowered myself closer to him. Levi's provoking comment had been all that it took to get myself right back into the seductive state of mind that I needed to be in. "Of course I can keep up," I whispered, my glimmer of determination shining through. " _You're_  the one who stopped."

And that was it. We were at it once again, and this time around, I was a full participant.

I felt a shiver run down my spine, as Levi brought his lips back to mine. Not only that, but the hand that he had placed on the back of my neck had started to travel south, sending a tingling feeling all throughout my body. Now, his fingers were tickling at the sensitive skin that parted the base of my wings, and it was that breed of stimulation that had me leaning into the touch. I had to do something to reciprocate.

With Levi's winter jacket long discarded and his pajama shirt exposed, I began to rub my hand up and down the soft texture of the material, while also relishing in the sensation of actually being able to  _feel_  Levi's body beneath me. No more thermal; just flannel and the masked definition of muscles.

Just when I felt like we were reestablishing ourselves into an essential rhythm, one that was fast, fast, and  _fast_ , Levi abruptly put a stop to our kiss. Honestly, the halt in his movements had been so unexpected that I was still trying to ease my way in for more. That's when he said, "Eren, wait. I want you to do something for me."

Do something? What did he want me to do? We were already kissing, so what else was there? Curiously, I questioned, "What is it, Levi? If there's anything that you want me to do, I'll do it. Just tell me what it is."

Nodding at my acceptance, he responded, "Good, I'm glad to hear it." He paused. Was he thinking? No, he was sitting up. But why? "Eren, sit up and turn around." Oh, that's why.

Following his command to the best of my ability, I scooted myself back toward the end of the bed and started turning around. It wasn't the easiest thing to do with my wings being so large and space-consuming, but as I got myself properly situated, I was given another order.

"Alright, now come back to me."

Not being able to see where I was going made the movement tougher than it should have been, but using the brim of my wings as a balance, I was able to remain honorably compliant to Levi's wishes. Now, if only he could tell me why he had wanted me to turn around to begin with. That day, I must have been feeling pretty confident, because I ended up flat out asking him. "Levi, why am I doing this? I thought we were supposed to be kiss-ah!"

From what I could decipher, Levi's lips had latched onto the nape of my neck, and without any further explanation, he began to  _suck_.

Long ago, he and I had a term for this sort of thing. We would call it "marking". After we'd finished participating in lewd acts, or even after he and I had simply finished kissing, it was necessary that we leave our lasting mark on each other. With our uniforms being so restrictive and layered, no one would be able to see them unless we placed our stamp in an area that was visible to all. The common place that I had loved to mark Levi on was just beneath the sharp edge of his jaw. For me, he had always been partial to the nape of my neck.

I was starting to feel weak.

Little did I know that, this entire time, I had still been holding on to my key. Well, not anymore obviously, because with that single occurrence, my fingers flew open and reached up to cover my mouth. My key? It fell onto the mattress.

"I remembered that you like this spot," Levi whispered. I could feel him smirking against my skin as he spoke, and for a second, I had to remind myself that he wasn't talking about how we used to share these kinds of moments in the past, but how he had done this same thing to me on the first night that we'd kissed. There was a difference, though. That time, he had only been kissing my neck. Now, he was  _biting_  it, and Hell, I didn't know what I was going to do.

Whimpering out my needs and my desires, my neck arched pleasantly for him, and in my haste for pleasure, my wings ultimately propelled backward, fully enveloping him within my feathers. This felt right. This felt perfect. This felt  _natural_ , and dear God, I didn't want him to stop.

"Yes, Levi," I breathed. "I'm glad you remembered."

 

* * *

 

We must have spent a good portion of the day just rolling about, kissing each other, exploring our sensitivities, and kissing each other some more. By the time we actually cared enough to know what the clock read, we weren't at all surprised to see that it was already nearing 4PM. We had been kissing for a  _long_  time, so long that my lips had started feeling a bit swollen. Levi's remedy for that? More kisses. Softer ones, of course.

Laying on his side with my wings wrapped around him, Levi sighed contentedly and cuddled into my hold. He would never know just how much I appreciated it when he did that. It always left me with a feeling of being needed, being wanted, of being  _loved_. However, when Levi opened his mouth to speak, what he said had ended up being a little shocking.

"I hope Annie found her way back to Mina."

Cradling the back of his head and tracing my fingers against the rougher hairs of his undercut, I hummed a noise of acknowledgement. "Yeah. Me, too."

I wasn't entirely sure why Levi had brought them up while we were in the middle of cuddling, but I had a feeling that he would say something else, something that would be connected to such a statement.

And I had been right.

Lifting his head to look at me, Levi wore his normal, not-entirely-fazed expression, but it was the look of devotion in his eyes that left me intrigued. The condition of his eyes were always the cue for when he had something important to say, and judging by the strength in the particular gaze that he was showing me, I knew that whatever it was, Levi was going to say something that was going to be worth every ounce of my attention.

"I'm not worried about forgetting you."

Yup. I had definitely needed every ounce for that.

I brought Levi closer to me, tightening both my arms and the curvature of my wings, before asking him to clarify what he had meant by his statement. I knew that we'd talked about living in the present and not worrying about the future before our whole kissing thing had started, but the way that he'd spoken just now made it seem like there was something more. "What do you mean, Levi?"

Losing his intensity, Levi opted to go with a much softer look for his explanation. That not only made me feel less intimidated, as his guardian angel, it made me feel good to know that his words weren't going to be a bother to him. He actually looked like he was kind of happy.

"What I mean is, even if my brain forgets and my mind can't piece together who you are, I'm not worried about forgetting you, because my  _soul_  will always remember you. You know, I understand it now. This feeling of wanting to cuddle with you, of wanting to kiss you, of being  _drawn_  to you, it's not because of hormones or anything perverted like that, it's my soul wanting to be  _close_  to you, because it  _remembers_  you, Eren."

It was with that powerful explanation that my heart felt whole again.

All this time, I'd been telling myself that Levi didn't remember me, that he had no recollection of who I was or had ever been, but now I knew that that wasn't entirely true. Levi  _did_  remember me, and although it wasn't in the typical sense where his memories were the basis of his thought process, just knowing that a part of him held the knowledge of who I was and had felt  _drawn_  to me, I couldn't have asked for anything better.

"Levi, I..." Didn't know what to say? Of course I did. I was going to say how hearing those words had made me feel. "I...I'm so happy. I'm so happy right now that I...I could just..."

"Kiss me?" he snickered. He got me there.

"Well, yes, but I don't think you understand just how happy you've made me by saying all of that." And I didn't think that he ever would. Nonetheless, he didn't have to understand something to know it. Even if he couldn't understand the depths of my appreciation, he could very much tell the surface of my satisfaction.

There had never been a better moment for me to say what I wanted to say next, and although I may have been getting ahead of myself by doing so, I couldn't help it. Before I could stop them, the words were already out of my mouth.

"I love you, Levi."

He'd heard me say it before, and even if he hadn't, such levels of my affection were already blatantly apparent - both through angelic and "human" means. I loved him, and Levi didn't just  _know_  that I loved him, he  _understood_  that I loved him, and it must have been that difference in mindset that had caused him to snuggle into my chest and request that I keep petting the back of his head because, and I quote, "It feels like Heaven, holy crap."

After I'd been stroking my fingers through his fine hairs for so long, I had almost been convinced that Levi had fallen asleep. His breathing was soft and his body was hardly moving, so all of the cues were there, but that didn't stop him from catching me by surprise...in more ways that one.

Hearing the sound of his voice had been startling, for sure, but it was what he had  _said_  that left me with the most awe. I had originally thought that I couldn't have asked for anything better to come out of Levi's mouth, but graciously enough, he had yet to prove me wrong.

"Thank you for my Christmas present."

Baffled at first, I told him, "But...I didn't get you anything."

I felt him shaking his head against my neck, and with the tips of his dark hairs tickling against my chin in the process, he whispered something so miraculous that I wouldn't be willing to forget it any time soon. Or never. Yeah, I was never going to forget it.

"But you did, Eren. You gave me the gift of love, and although that sounds freaking cheesy, it's the truth. And you know what? Eren, I..." he faltered, and shifting his weight against my own, took a moment to collect himself. I waited patiently for him to continue. "Eren, I understand that you love me, and I...I'm really starting to think that I'm falling in love with you, too."

Falling in love. It was a term that humans used to sparingly, and although no harm was ever meant by it, to a guardian angel, "falling" was never a good thing. You could get hurt, you could break a bone, or worse, you could die. But I had been a human longer than I had been an angel, and I was knowledgeable enough to know that Levi wasn't in danger of getting hurt by love. Not on my watch.

Taking his head back into my hand and stroking him until he met his match with serenity, I said what any good-natured guardian angel would say, and hopefully, even Levi would find some humor in it.

"Don't worry, Levi. If you fall, I'll be right here to catch you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Wow, it felt really good to write this chapter. Like, really good. I've put you guys through so much angst that yes, here you go. Have a chapter entirely devoted to kissing and fluffy goodness. You deserve it. (:
> 
> And look at that! I threw some relationship development in there, too! It really is like Christmas morning for everyone right now!
> 
> Gosh, but enough silliness aside, I really hope that you enjoyed the chapter! It was an absolute pleasure to write!
> 
> And as always, thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	30. Snow Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a reason why angels don't fly when it's cold outside.

_"You should go back to Mina. It's not just for her sake, but it's for yours, too."_

I never thought that I would be the one to receive advice from someone like Eren. I never thought that I would be the one to receive his advice and actually starting thinking about it within my own head. I never thought that I, most previously known as Annie Leonhardt, would be the one to receive Eren's advice, think about it and balance out the pros and the cons, and end up turning that very advice into a journey I will never forget.

I was going to return to my guarded human. I was going to return to Mina.

While Eren may have been the final push that I needed to get my act back together and my priorities straight, I couldn't give him all of the credit. There was only so much that could be said in such a short amount of time, and with what he and I had discussed, I had failed to mention the fact that Mina was  _all_  that had been on my mind since I'd left her. At first, I could handle the buzzing thoughts of, "Is she alright?" or "Does she need my help?" but then, those thoughts began to swarm. Before I knew it, the itching had started and sleep became a luxury that was just out of my reach. I couldn't do anything anymore. A guarded human without their guardian angel still has a purpose; a guardian angel without their guarded human is useless.

Without Mina, I was nothing.

And I am  _still_  nothing, but here's the difference. I want to _change_. I want to become  _something_ again. Being nothing and having no purpose or goals, it's tiring. It's very tiring -  _exhausting_ , even - and I'd finally reached the point where I was tired of being tired. I can be lazy, I'll admit that, but enough was enough. It was time for me to stop being useless, to stop being nothing, and to start being the guardian that I was meant to be.

I  _was_  a guardian angel, but I am  _still_  a guardian angel, and I was ready to accept my fate once again.

I didn't say goodbye to Eren or his guarded human; I felt no need to. They had been polite enough to see me off as I took into flight, but I wasn't polite enough to offer a parting word in return. But really, did I have to? Eren and I had said so much to each other that saying goodbye would only become a wasted memory. And besides, why say goodbye when you may end up running into each other again?

As I coasted into the air, the reality of what I was doing started to set in. Guardian angels are creatures of instinct, and I had always known the aerial path that would lead me towards Mina. I purposely never took it. I  _avoided_  it. I had always thought that if I were to travel in such a direction, one misplaced emotion or an overpowering desire would have me flying right back to her. I find it interesting how that's exactly what I  _wanted_  to do now. And at this point, it wasn't just about those wants anymore. I  _needed_  Mina, and in my head, she needed me, too.

The atmosphere beneath my wings felt harsh and bitter, like the sting of ripeness when you bite into a spoiled fruit. Had I more feathers to buffet the cold temperatures, I probably wouldn't have been in so much pain. Then again, there's a reason why angels can't fly in chilly conditions. Even if you're the perfect example and have all of your fluffy, newborn feathers, it's still going to put a strain on your bones.

And when you have almost nothing but bones left of you, that strain only becomes ten times greater.

I could feel it in my wings, even when I'd only been flying for fifteen minutes. Add twenty-five more to the equation, and I could  _definitely_  feel it. In that length of time, there had been both a prominent drop in temperature and air pressure, which could only mean one thing. I felt like cursing.  _It's going to snow,_ I mused, and I had been right. Just minutes later, the first snowflakes began to fall and I was forced to put my travels to a temporary halt and take cover. Stupid weather. It was like the universe was working again me, but then again, has it ever really been on my side?

Coming upon a wooded area, where the trees were of an evergreen variety, I weighted out my options and decided that pine needles would provide a Hell of a lot more shelter than bare branches ever could. And so, swooping down to the lowest boughs of the trees, I perched myself in a limbo sort of area where I was still pretty high up, but close enough to the forest floor that I wouldn't be subjected to much of the snowfall. It's funny how I'd spent one-thousand years of my afterlife in purgatory, and now, I was voluntarily placing myself in an equivalent to that sort of situation. Halfway to nowhere and stuck somewhere in between. Or was that just a really bad joke? Hm, my sense of humor must have become jaded.

As my toes curled around the sticky bark of the branch, it was inevitable that thoughts of Mina began to torment me. In the past, I would have done everything I could have to push her image out of my mind and into the furthest banks of my brain. It was different this time. I allowed myself to be consumed by nothing but memories of her, of  _us_. Before I knew it, I was so far gone within my own head that all of my recollections became a living fantasy. There she was, her hair as dark as burnt charcoal and her eyes as bright as the sun passing through a cloud, and she was right in front of me.

She was right there with me.

 

* * *

Berkshire, England, 1855

* * *

 

"Annie! Look at this! It's a ladybug!"

As I crouched down next to her, tilting my head to where her finger was excitedly pointing, I could only predict how furious her mother would become if she found out that Mina was playing in the garden...again. The young girl had a bad habit of ruining the dresses that Lady Bartholomew spent hours seaming and sewing for her, but she never seemed to care. She had an adventurous spirit, and I adored that about her. I adored  _everything_  about her. "A ladybug, hm?" I hummed, finally eyeing the small insect. "How do you know it's a ladybug, Mina?"

"Because it is! I know it is!" she answered with a bright smile. "She's wearing a red jacket with black spots on it!"

I suppressed a giggle at her wildly childish response. It was hard to believe that she was already five-years old. I'd been entirely devoted to her ever since she was just an infant. "That's not a jacket, Mina," I said softly. "It would be quite foolish for an insect to wear a jacket, wouldn't it?"

From the look on Mina's face, I instantly understood that she had never thought of such a thing as being strange. Still, she questioned, "If it's not a jacket, then what is it, Annie?"

"They're called elytra," I explained. "Underneath those two, spotted coverings are wings that will help our little red lady to fly."

"Just like you!" Mina giggled.

Smiling, I nodded at her observation. "Yes, quite like me. However, I don't have a pair of elytra to keep my wings protected. All I have are these feathers."

I knew from very early on that Mina had become attached to the unique feeling of my feathers. Whenever she touched them, stroking her fingers through their texture, she claimed that they were as soft as clouds and as white as the porcelain bowls that her mother kept in her crystal cabinet.

To give her a small taste of what she loved so very much, I began to flap my wings for her, causing all of my loose down to fall out and cascade over her like a dusting of fresh snow. At first, she was all smiles and laughs, trying to catch as many of my feathers as she could, but soon enough, her joy was replaced with an air of melancholy and she plopped herself back down into the soil. That concerned me; that  _really_  concerned me.

Lowering to my knees, I rested one of my hands on her shoulder and tried to get a better look at her face. With my other hand, I pushed a few stray stands of the dark hair that she'd inherited from her mother out of her eyes. "Mina," I whispered sympathetically, "what's the matter? Why do you look so saddened all of a sudden?"

I heard her sigh. That was a sound that no child her age should ever have to make, but that didn't reverse what had happened. Mina had sighed, so whatever was on her mind must have been very bothersome to her.

"Mother said that I will be going to school soon," she spoke quietly. As she began to aimlessly play with the ruffles of her dress skirt, she added, "She said that I am a fortune girl."

 _Fortunate_  was the word that Mina's mother had used, but I chose not to address her mistake. I simply replied, "Your mother is right, Mina. Most girls your age are considered very lucky to be attending school. Aren't you excited?"

Mina looked over at me with intentions to nod, but her looming thoughts were holding her back. I wanted her to talk to me and to tell me what was forcing her to lament so openly. Graciously, Mina was a talkative girl, and especially so when it came to the things that were troubling her.

With another sigh that was much too mature for her stature, Mina began to explain, "I'm happy that I can go to school and learn new things, but I'm afraid that people will think I'm queer."

"Queer?" I repeated, obviously astounded. "What would make them think that? You're a bright and energetic young girl who loves to play and has a very witty sense of humor. Why would your peers think of you as queer?"

"Because people think that I'm talking to myself, when I'm talking to you."

Mina hadn't meant any ill will by that. She was very kind and caring, but as many children did, she had a tendency to speak without realizing the implication of her words. I tried to not let her statement upset me too much, but I couldn't help feeling - even if for just a second - that my presence was going to place a hindrance on her normality. That was the one of the  _last_  things that I wanted for her.

"Many little girls your age have imaginary friends, Mina," I said, trying to console her. I took another piece of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. They were starting to turn red; she had been out in the garden for too long. Using my right wing as a parasol, I shaded her from the sun's harsh rays and continued my previous thought. "Even if you talk to me, others will more than likely assume that you're simply talking to an imaginary friend of yours, so there is no need to worry about people thinking that you are queer."

In a pout, Mina kicked one of her feet against the dirt, ultimately scaring our little lady bug friend away. "But you're not imaginary, Annie!" was her protest. "You're not imaginary at all! You're real! You're very, very real!" When she moved to stand up, her petticoat slipped. As she continued to talk, I began to fix it for her. "I can see you, Annie. When you braid my hair and tickle my toes, I can feel it. Mother cannot see you, and Father thinks that I've gone mad...whatever that is supposed to mean. I just wish that people would believe me when I tell them that I'm not talking to myself. I wish that they would believe me when I say that I have a guardian angel who protects me. But they don't, and I know that they don't. Even if Mother says that you must be a very charming angel to put up with a ruffian like me, I really don't think that she believes me when I tell her that you're real. No one believes me..."

I didn't want to think of the conversation that I had overheard the other night, when Mina had already gone to sleep and her parents had slipped into her bedroom to check up on her. I remembered her father saying that she needed to start growing up sometime soon, preferably before attending school; I remembered her mother asking her husband if there were any doctors that could "cure" Mina of her over-imaginative mind. It was laughable how parents of this era wanted nothing more than to civilize their children and conform them into becoming the perfect products of society. Why was it that having such things as fantasies and daydreams were viewed in such a negative light? I would never understand it.

"Now, now," I breathed, making a few, final adjustments to her dress, "I'm sure your mother and father believe you. You're their daughter, are you not? You're their very own flesh and blood. Not believing you would be just the same as them not believing in their own words, and that's just plain poppycock."

Mina got her giggles back. She liked it when I said funny things like "pish-posh" and "poppycock", which made me glad that I had chosen my vocabulary wisely. Somehow, what I'd just said - even if it wasn't entirely true - was exactly what Mina had needed to hear.

Nodding her head like the positively proud five-year old that she was, Mina proposed, "You're right, Annie. I am their daughter and they have to believe me. If they don't, it's poppycock!"

"That's exactly correct."

Opening my arms for her, I invited Mina into a warm embrace. Just before she could nestle herself into my hold, a loud shriek was heard from the back door, startling the both of us. That shriek had been followed by a pair of angry footsteps and lots of huffing and puffing. "Mina Beatrice Hudgens! I cannot believe that after I have specifically told you to stay out of the garden on numerous occasions, you are still playing in the mud! You are absolutely intolerable! Come over here this very instant!"

I disliked the way that Mina's mother treated her. She was obsessed with destroying her daughter's sense of adventure, and I was not pleased with it. Trying her best to suppress her unwillingness, Mina obeyed her mother's orders and shuffled over to her. There were little bits of soil and mulch still caked onto her ruffles and her Mary Janes, making her mother stick up her nose in disgust. "Honestly," she scoffed, "I don't know where you get this ridiculous behavior from. This is not how your father and I raised you to be."

After Mina's mother had undressed her and had helped her bathe, it was time for her piano lesson. Mina loathed playing the piano with an intense passion, but her mother insisted that if she were to impress the other students in her class when she began attending school, she would have to learn how to do something intellectual. Rolling around in the garden and getting herself into trouble did not count.

With her lesson complete and her fingers feeling sore, Mina was finally allowed to go up to her room and play with her doll house. She'd never cared for her dolls that much, so after shifting them around a bit to make it  _seem_  like she had been playing, she rushed over to me and demanded that I be the one to play with her instead.

"What would you like to play, Mina?" I asked, my voice as welcoming as ever.

"Teach me how to fly, Annie!" she proclaimed. "I want to learn how to fly just like you!"

I found her enthusiasm to be very adorable, but her request was rather impossible. "Mina, it would be very difficult for me to teach you how to fly. You don't possess the of the key essentials that are needed to take flight."

"What's that?" she wondered.

"A pair of wings, dear."

Frowning in defeat, Mina began to put two-and-two together and understood that only creatures with wings - angels, birds, ladybugs, etc. - had what it took to fly. However, just because she couldn't fly on her own didn't mean that she couldn't fly at all.

"Do you know what?" I regained her attention almost immediately. "I think I just came up with a lovely idea."

All but bouncing out of the new dress that her mother had put her in, Mina excitedly asked, "What?! What is it?!"

Without further word, I held my arms out for her and instructed her to clutch at my neck. My final advice for her was to hold on tight, before I took the both of us into the air.

Flying around her bedroom was a bit of a challenge. It didn't give me as much space as I needed to be able to expand my wings to their fullest extent, but all that mattered was that, right beside my ear, Mina was giggling and laughing, possibly having one of the best times in her very short life.

Yes. Her very short life.

The night before Mina was said to attend school, she refused to eat dinner and claimed that she had a horrible belly ache. Not wanting for her to miss out on the first day of her studies, Mina's mother and father bathed her, dressed her in her pajamas, and sent her to bed early. Just hours later, a mercury thermometer was being popped into her mouth and doctors were being called from all around town.

I hadn't ever paid much thought to the fact that Mina didn't seem to remember her past lives, or the fact that this lifetime was not her first. At the time, I almost preferred it. There wasn't a little girl on the entire planet that deserved to be terrorized by nightmares of those horrendous things that we used to call Titans. Not a single little girl, and most certainly not my Mina.

The reading from her thermometer was finalized. Her fever had reached an astonishing height of 39.4 degrees Celsius.

As I stood there, watching doctors that had been called in from neighboring towns poking and prodding at her overheated body, I hadn't felt more powerless in my entire life. Mina was my everything and I'd been with her ever since just days after she was born. But what could I do now? There was no magical touch that guardian angels had to cure human ailments. All we could do was protect, watch,  _guard_.

When Mina was one, I turned her over onto her side and slapped her back to prevent her from choking on a small toy. When Mina was two, I protected her from smacking her head against the floor after she had ended up toddling around the the corner of the stairwell too fast. When Mina was three, I stopped her from cutting her finger on a piece of glass that she'd found lying next to the garbage pail. When Mina was four, I pulled her away from a garden snake that had been just about to strike at her. When Mina was five, she'd contracted scarlet fever, a horrible disease that was returning to the nation with a vengeance, and there was nothing I could do to protect her.

Three days later, Mina Beatrice Hudgens died.

From what I can recall, I remembered being reunited with Mina in France. Her parents had named her Michele and they were very proud of their new baby girl. Although it took me a while to get used to her new name, it didn't take very long for Mina and I to reconnect.

Throughout the years, I began to learn her new habits and her different traits. One of the things that stood out to me was that, although she used to really like carrots, she couldn't stand the taste of them anymore. To me, that was interesting. Also, just as she learned the language of her country, I was learning right along with her.

When Mina had reached the age of six-years old, I had finally felt brave enough to ask her the one question that had been on my mind ever since she had been reincarnated. It was a risk, but it was a risk that needed to be taken.

"Michele, tu te souviens de moi?"

_Mina, do you remember me?_

Looking within her blank stare was all that it took. Her answer was clear.

 

* * *

 

The hours in which I'd been sitting on that tree had slipped past me without my knowledge. It was only growing colder, that was for certain, but something else was growing, as well: my desire to be with Mina again.

Even if I won't be remembered, and even if my eyes will be subjected to seeing the one and only human that I love fall ill and die over and over again, my guardian instincts began to outshine my former humanity and my heart was pumping with adrenaline. I could do this. I could make it. I had to fly.

The mere task of stretching out my wings even felt like a chore in such temperatures, but my determination had reached its peak and allowed me to forget all of that. Snow? What snow? Ice? I'm fairly certain that I have no idea what you're talking about.

Jumping off of the tree branch and bursting back into flight, I quickly realized that adrenaline alone wasn't going to shelter my wings from the elements. Eventually, it was going to catch up with me, but I had been able to convince myself that if I flew fast enough, maybe I could outrun the catastrophe before it even happened.

Such a foolish thought.

I hadn't even been flying for more than five minutes, before I felt the beginnings of frostbite. Like tiny ice bullets shooting into my bones, I forced myself to push past the pain and to keep going. If I stopped now, being as close to Mina as I was, I didn't deserve to be her guardian angel.

As the resistance against my wings only continued to increase, it was after twenty minutes of flying that I was courageous enough to see what sort of condition they were in, and honestly, I wished that I wouldn't have looked.

My bones had become nearly solid sculptures of ice, and my feathers were entirely frozen at their fringe. It was evident that I didn't have much time left. If I didn't make it to Mina soon, my ability to fly would be stripped right out from underneath me.

The last definable landmark that I could remember seeing was a big, blue highway sign that had read, "Maine: the way life should be." After that, the rest was a smear of subconscious and I was flying solely on auto-pilot.

I couldn't remember how I'd managed to fly my way across the highway and into a residential neighborhood. I couldn't remember how I'd been able to soar past house after house without even recognizing it. I couldn't remember how  _powerful_ my sense of direction had become after I'd been flying for just a few more minutes. But the one thing that I  _could_  remember was the distinct sensation of my wings slowly locking into place, completely frozen and utterly immobile, and how it had felt to spiral out of control and fall out of the sky and into the backyard of some unsuspecting civilian. No worries. It wasn't like they would be able to see me anyway; whoever lived there would only witness the impression that I had left within a perfectly untouched bank of snow.

As I laid there, cold and unable to move, I started to pity myself.  _You were so close,_ I began to think.  _Just a little bit more and you would have made it. But look at you now. You've failed. You've amounted to what you set yourself out to be in the first place: useless. Nothing._

It was in the midst of my mental lecture that there was a sound, a sound that I could hazily define. First, I'd heard a scream - that noise was obvious - and next came the sound of frosty snow crunching beneath a set of snow boots. Who was there, and why were they running? I couldn't have been because of me, could it? I was an angel, and no one could see me. No one would be able to-

"What...are you?"

What was I? What  _was_ I? I didn't even know anymore myself. A guardian angel? Biologically, but some guardian I was. If anything, I had become what one would call an actual, genuine "snow angel". These are my jokes, and they're not very funny.

I gave no response. Again, I was asked the same question. "Excuse me, what are you?"

This time, I found it in me to turn my head. My vision wasn't as "crystal" clear as my wings, and my my face as its wholesome was numb, but the moment my eyes had laid sight on the human that had found curiosity in my presence, there was a spark.

Like electricity rushing through my veins and exploding within my senses, that spark brought me back to a state of consciousness. All of my emotions were in overdrive, and all of my thoughts were uncontainable. Kneeling there, with her hand outstretched for me to take, was the little girl who thought ladybugs wore spotted jackets. She was the little girl who lived in France and had been given the name Michele. She was the person I had strived to protect, the person I had regrettably decided to neglect. She was the person who, thanks to Eren, I had been convinced to return to.

She was Mina Carolina.

Instead of taking her hand, I asked for her name and her age. She told me. Her name was Mina Rivers, and she was fourteen-years old. I asked her which school she attended, and she told me that, too. I asked her if she had any parents, and she told that yes, they were inside. I asked her many things, to which she was complaint and answered them all. Then, I asked her a final question. Even before she spoke, and even before the inquiry had left my bluing lips, I already knew the answer.

I asked her if she knew who I was.

With cautious movements, I saw her reach her hand out in an attempt to touch my shoulder. Her ability to  _touch_  me had probably shocked her more than the fact that my body temperature had fallen dangerously low. It was directly after that initial stun that her hands were under my arms and were heaving me up with some unbeknownst strength that I'm not even sure she knew if she had previously possessed or not. But it was through her gentle touches and her helpful hands that left me with a very comforting sense of satisfaction that, until that absolute second, I hadn't realized I had been missing.

Once again, we were together, we were connected, and this time, I wasn't going  _anywhere_.

Unable to help me up entirely, she had only been able to shift my body into a sitting position, but that was good enough for me. Anything was better than having to lie face down within a bed of snow.

Her fingers began to flinch and reach forward. I could tell that she wanted to touch my wings - they were a unique sight after all - but the turn of my shoulder had been my advisory against it. At that, she recoiled her arm and nodded. Not yet, but soon. I would allow her to touch them again very soon; however, preferably when they weren't covered in ice.

After all of the things that I had asked her, there was only one question that was left, and it was the only question that hadn't been asked yet. I hadn't asked it, because it wasn't something that could come from me. But as she looked into my eyes with her cloudy-grey gaze, I knew from just her expression alone that she was about to bring that very question into the limelight.

"...Who are you?"

And there it was, the question that used to break my soul and crush my heart into bits and pieces. It was a question that I'd dreaded every time it was asked, but now, as I continued to stare into her eyes, I began to realize that this was the perfect start for us. This would be our new beginning. Although it felt like we were meeting for the first time and for the millionth time, my answer to her question would always remain the same.

"My name is Annie, and I am your guardian angel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here! 
> 
> Can you believe that this fanfic has reached 30 chapters? That's 30 continuous weeks of writing! I can't, I really can't. It's honestly thanks to you guys and for all of your continued support that gives me the motivation the write these chapter updates every Friday! Seriously, I've said it more than once, but you guys are the best, thank you so much! (:
> 
> I hope this chapter didn't confuse anyone! It was told entirely in Annie's POV, which means that the story of Annie and Mina has come to a close. I hope you enjoyed the tying up of loose ends! I feel like a TV broadcaster by saying, "And next week, we will return to our regularly scheduled programming-er, pairing!"
> 
> On a final, more somber note, this is it. Get ready, everyone, because this is the final stretch. Break out your tissues and be prepared for a bumpy ride, because the end is upon us. orz
> 
> Last but not least, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> As always, thank you very much for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy  
> P.S. I used Google Translate for that one French line, so I have no idea if it's actually correct. I'm sorry! orz  
> EDIT: Thank you to Words and Fire (of FF) for correcting my French error! Google Translate probably isn't the best source for fanfiction, oh gosh.  
> (also, thank you to dion19 for that garbage pail mistake, too, pfff!)


	31. Oatmeal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snuggles, showers, oatmeal, and questions.

It's funny, but we never ended up having that New Year's Eve party.

It wasn't because of some chaotic circumstance that erupted from underneath our feet and ruined all of our plans. The reality was that we never  _had_  any plans. Levi casually mentioned something about the rest of the money that he, Erwin, and Hange had pooled together for their snack excursion, but instead of putting it towards more food for another party, he and Erwin ended up dividing the dollar amount evenly, leaving Hange's fair share for him for when he got back from Australia. And honestly, why have a New Year's party without Hange anyway? None of it seemed right, none of it was planned, so none of it happened.

Before any of us could bat an eyelash or flap a feather, it was a brand new year, and well into January at that. Levi went back to his normal schedule at the hair salon, and Erwin's winter break came to an end. Hange returned about two weeks after Christmas with small souvenirs for everyone - and when I say everyone, I even mean  _me_. He bought both Erwin and Levi little mugs with the continent of Australia on them, and for me, he bought a koala bear plush toy that bore bright green eyes and a fuzzy eucalyptus leaf in his mouth. Hange's explanation for his purchase was that the stuff animal's eyes reminded him of me instantly and he just had to buy it. I didn't mind. The little guy was adorable and I was happy to have him. I couldn't speak for everyone, though. Levi and Erwin seemed a bit displeased with their presents, but thanked Hange for the kind thought all the same.

As the weeks progressed, I could feel the shift of things gradually going back to normal. Just as I'd been getting used to the delightful feeling of waking up late with Levi and enjoying our early-afternoon cuddles, the annoying sound of his alarm clock was back and it was strangely nostalgic in a way that Levi would probably never understand. Then again, all alarm clocks were annoying.

The date was January 25th, and I knew that because it was staring me right at me in bright red numerals and letters, as Levi's alarm clock flashed back and forth between the time, the date, and the temperature. Nineteen degrees; way too cold to fly. 9:45AM; the earliest Levi had set his alarm clock to go off in a while. January 25th; but I already knew that.

Even though the irritating beeping had done its job in rousing Levi out of his slumber, it had done no such thing for me. I had already been awake. Granted, I was usually the one to wake up before Levi did anyway, but today was different. Today, I woke up from a  _dream._

Honestly, I had no idea that angels were even capable of dreaming. Sleep felt like nothingness, but at the same time, it was warm and comforting. The only way to describe it was like floating on a dark cloud, the ones that are usually used to emphasize the notion of being intoxicated by a drug of some kind, and just drifting away into a land that had no existence for eight hours straight. But like I said, today was different. Today, my drifting had been interrupted by an image.

Even though it was for just a glimmer of a second, my subconscious mind had seen Levi. I loved the fact that my very first dream had been about him and only him, but what was a tad off-putting about the scenario was that he crouching his knees and was holding onto his head as if he were in pain. I had trouble understanding why I had seen what I saw, and just when I'd been conscious enough to try and speculate, my body surged me into awareness and the vision of Levi had been wiped clean from my view. No worries, though. At least I had the real thing all bundled up within my feathers.

After the twelfth beep from his alarm clock - I counted - I heard Levi groan, but not before I felt him retreating into my wing. I could only assume that his efforts must have been to muffle the Godawful sound. I didn't blame him.

Doing him the pleasure of silencing the incessant annoyance, I reached over him and tapped the snooze button with the tip of my finger. After the noise had been put to a stop, I heard him breathe out a sigh of relief. I suppressed a laugh. "Not ready to wake up yet, Levi?" I wondered. I kept my voice low and inviting; Levi always seemed to respond to me the best when I did. But before I received any sort of tangible reply, of course, I had to hear another grumble out of him first.

"I'm never...never ready to wake up, Eren..." It was terribly adorable how, come first thing in the morning, Levi's mouth and vocal chords could never seem to coordinate properly. He always sounded like he was drunk. It was that, or maybe he was high off of some sort of anesthesia. Either or, really. He yawned against my wing.

"Why did you set your alarm for so early, then?" I began to stroke the back of his head, hoping to entice him into looking at me. So far, no dice. "You usually set it for noon."

He yawned again, before saying, "Mikasa called while we were taking a nap last night. She..." Another yawn. "She didn't really give an explanation. She just said that I needed to come in earlier and that I could leave earlier, too. I wasn't about to argue with that, so you know...whatever."

Hearing that Mikasa wanted Levi to come into work earlier than normal had me feeling intrigued, but I did my best to keep myself from asking him too many questions after he'd just woken up. I needed to allow his brain some time to process his surroundings and to start functioning properly again, and that usually took about twenty minutes or so. That's why our cuddle time was always so perfect. Normally, we were both still so sleepy and delirious that everything that we nudged, touched, caressed, or stroked felt just that much better.

Levi began to stir and stretch against me, and after he'd shifted around for a bit, I was able to get a better look at him. Wow, his bedhead was out of this  _world_. I wanted to laugh, but doing so would only confuse him this early in the morning. He would see it soon enough, how some of my feathers were sticking to his hair like something straight out of a comedy act. It was the first time that such a thing had happened, too. He must have  _really_  been snuggling into me last night.

With another yawn and a final stretch, Levi was sitting up. He scratched at the base of his neck and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, before I let him to scoot over to the edge of his bed. Once he was up, he saw his reflection within his mirror. See? I told you he would see it soon enough.

"The Hell..." he snorted, walking up to his bureau. "I look like a mess."

Pushing the bedsheets off of my legs, I joined Levi at his bureau and started picking out some of the fluffy down from his hair. Although I could tell that he was appreciative of the gesture, he decided that taking a shower would be the better option to getting all of my feathers out.

While Levi washed his hair and scrubbed his body, I did my best in preening some of my other feathers. Although it was winter, and although I hadn't done very much flying as of late (a tragedy, really), my feathers still had the tendency of getting themselves matted and out of place. In the midst of stroking one feather, then the next, I heard Levi mutter a curse word from behind the shower curtain. "Is everything okay, Levi?"

"Yeah." His voice was barely audible over the sound of rushing water. "I just cut myself shaving again."

I'd known from very early on that Levi heavily disagreed with body hair. Even in the winter months, however, when clothes were long and worn in layers, he still shaved under his arms and up and down his legs. To me, that took a lot of dedication and a deep dissatisfaction to do so.

After he shut off the water and pulled back the shower curtain, Levi stepped out onto the bath mat and began toweling himself off. It was amazing how far we'd come in even minor things like this. Just the mere sight of his naked body used to reduce me into a blushing absurdity; now, I almost allowed myself the privilege of giving him a once over. Almost.

Back in his bedroom, Levi got dressed and began blow drying his hair. In doing so, I took the time to admire his outfit choice of the day. Levi always wore fashionable clothes for work, but today's apparel was particularly stunning. His slim-fitting jeans were a metallic silver color that would have looked horrible with any thing other than the deep maroon v-neck he'd paired them with. A black cardigan hung loosely around his shoulders and his torso, and I could tell from the way that he was styling his hair that he was planning on wearing a beanie. It was moments like this that I was entirely reminded of the fact that Levi had three jobs, not two: hair styling, make-up artistry, and acting - and there was a  _huge_  emphasis on the acting part of it.

Putting the final touches to his overall look, I saw Levi's eyes slide over to mine within his reflection. Had he caught me staring at him? Probably. I had every expectation that he was going to address it, but his question was still somewhat surprising to me.

"Do you like how I look, Eren?" He'd never asked me that before. His usual questions were geared more towards the idea of, "how do I look?" or "do I look okay?" Those was normal statements that everyone asked. But his question was different. He was asking me if I  _personally_  liked his appearance, his outfit, his physique, and to that I only had one response.

"Yes, I do. I'm very attracted to you." Of all of the different ways I could have said something so simple, I just  _had_  to pick the way that made me sound the most ridiculous. Lovely. "I-I mean! You look really nice, Levi!"

As he was fixing the left side of his beanie, I had managed to catch that second-of-a-smirk that had been pulling at the corners of Levi's lips. Did he like that? Did he like the fact that I was attracted to him? It couldn't have been that much of a surprise by now. All I ever wanted to do was look at him, touch him,  _admire_  him. If that wasn't the definition of attraction, I didn't know what was.

"Glad to hear it, Eren," Levi said, giving a piece of his hair a final flip. What came next sent me heart - and my wings - into a flutter. "I'm very attracted to you, too."

By the time we'd maneuvered our way into the kitchen, it had to have been somewhere around 11 o' clock. Levi had mentioned something about wanted a bowl of oatmeal before he went to work, and after boiling a cup of milk and slicing up a banana, his wish was granted.

While Levi ate and complained about the bland taste of his breakfast, I started thinking about my dream again. It was just that, something about it left me with an ominous feeling. I wanted to tell myself that it had meant nothing and that dreams were always a bit bizarre, but knowing that this had been my first and maybe  _only_  dream - and that it had been about Levi no less - had me wondering if there was anything more to it. And when Levi looked up at me, his spoon hanging out of his mouth and eyebrows knit with perplexity, I had half a mind to tell him about it.

The other half was what had me waving off his curiosity and kept me from uttering a word.

When Levi had finished his breakfast, Hange had woken up and had started getting ready for work himself. "Good morning, mates!" he greeted cheerfully, smiling at the both of us as he strolled on down the hall. Judging from the towel in his arms and the shampoo bottle in his hands, he was probably on his way to the shower. "It's surprising to see you up so early! Usually when I take my shower in the morning, I peek into Levi's bedroom to find the both of you in each other's arms, all nice and cozy, fast asleep!"

Well, that was embarrassing, but apparently Levi didn't think so. He just brushed off Hange's comment like it had been nothing out of the norm - which it kind of wasn't - and responded, "My boss wanted me to come in early today."

"Ah, did she? Well, best of luck with that! See you two after work!"

With Hange trotting off to the shower, humming a happy little tune along the way, Levi got up from the kitchen table and brought his bowl over to the sink. As he turned on the faucet and began washing it, I tried to place a reason behind why Mikasa wanted Levi to work earlier. Even when the salon had been short-staffed because of winter illnesses and vacations (Mikasa included with her trip to the Bahamas), she never once called him in to work early. "Hey, Levi?"

"Hm?" He seemed more focused on the dishes in his hands than what was coming out of my mouth.

"I know you said that she didn't give you a specific explanation, but why do you think Mikasa wants you to come in earlier today? Do you think it's something serious?" It couldn't have been because she wanted to fire him, right? Levi was her best employee! Even  _I_  felt safe enough to say that she would be a fool to fire him. With all of the customers and clients that went to Mikasa's salon exclusively for Levi and Levi alone, her business would fall right through the cracks without him. Not only that, but what kind of situation would that put Levi in? He was a college dropout with no other source of income. As much as he disliked working for someone like Mikasa, he  _needed_  that job.

I was putting too much thought into this. I needed to calm down.

"Honestly, I really have no idea," Levi sighed. He set the bowl that he'd used for his oatmeal onto the drying rack, along with his spoon and a couple of other utensils from the night before. "Knowing her, she probably just wants to yell at me for something that I did that caused her to waste her time and her money."

That didn't sound right to me. Levi always gave it his all at his job; how could she yell at him if he was doing more than his very best? Oh, that's right. Levi had a habit of getting a bit too snarky with his boss. It was that sort of foul attitude that had him hearing her lectures over and over again.

"Maybe it's for a good reason!" Was I being too optimistic? "Maybe a little girl is having a birthday party and she and her friends all want to get makeovers!" How had I managed to come up with such a random scenario on the spot like that?

Levi shrugged. "Could be, but it's not likely. Parties or big events like weddings and proms are scheduled in advanced. If that were the case, I would have known about it, like, at least a week ago."

Alright, since my idea no longer made very much sense, it was probably in Levi's best interest to just head over to the salon and find out from the source herself. Only Mikasa knew why she had called for him, and only Mikasa would be able to give him an answer. Somehow, without even saying a single thing, Levi had gone through a similar thought process to mine and had come up with the same conclusion.

"Alright, let's go."

 

* * *

 

You know that feeling you get where you really, really want to do something, but know that you'll only end up hurting yourself if you do it? Like eating an entire cake, for example. The frosting looks so appetizing, and the texture of it is to die for, but you know that if you ate the whole thing, you'd cause yourself to get sick.

Yup. That was my analogy with flying.

I'd been itching - okay, maybe  _itching_  wasn't the right word - to fly ever since the temperatures had diminished, but with the strain that it put on my wings, the thrill of being airborne just wasn't worth it. If only they made mittens for feathers. It would probably be pretty hard to fly around with them on, though.

On the topic of flying, it was sincerely ironic that Levi had asked me, "When was the last time that you've actually flown somewhere, Eren?"

Wow, I really had to think about that one, because I honestly couldn't remember. Had it really been since...since we'd seen Annie? How was that even possible? That was exactly one month ago! "I can't believe this, but I seriously think that it's been at least a month."

"You must be itching to fly around somewhere, huh?" It was laughable how Levi had used the same word that I would have to describe what I was feeling. "Well, maybe not the  _itchy_  kind of itching. It's more like the kind of itching where you really want to do something, but know you can't yet. Yeah, that kind." And he'd even corrected himself, too! Geez, what went on in our heads was more similar than I gave us credit for.

Even though I remembered that Levi's alarm clock had said something about it being nineteen degrees, there was no way that such an accusation was still applicable to the temperature. As we continued to saunter, side-by-side, down the sidewalk, I began to shiver. First my wings, and then my body. I was grateful that I had taken a liking to wearing Mikasa's Christmas present with pride; Levi's, too, of course. With both my scarf and my key wrapped lovingly around my neck, they were the two forces of warm - both the concrete and the abstract - that kept me from feeling too cold. A returned favor and a home. What more could a guardian angel ask for?

When we finally rounded the street corner and stepped through the threshold of the beauty salon, Levi and I were both a bit stunned to see that Mikasa, who normally worked exclusively in the back rooms where all of the make-up magic happened, was standing there waiting for us - rather, for Levi. Still, there was one thing about her overall demeanor that  _wasn't_  surprising: her look of disgust.

"I told you to come in early, Levi." Those had been her first words, and they'd been matched with the rhythmic sound of the front of her stiletto tapping against the floor - a telltale sign of her exasperation.

Levi fit his hand into his hip, before popping it dramatically. There were customers present, so he had to keep up with his character. "I  _did_  come in early. It's not even noon yet. Like, you do realize that I'd still be sleeping right now, right?"

"Let's talk in the back." Mikasa wanted to speak with the  _real_  Levi, not the fake one that flamboyantly trimmed people's hair, made their faces all pretty, and gave her a hard time. Then again, the real Levi was prone to giving her a hard time, too.

As we - mainly Levi - were guided into one of the back room's that held memories of the first time I'd seen Mikasa smoke, I took the time to admire her somewhat newly tanned skin. The Bahamas had been very kind to her.

Inside the back room, with he door closed and locked in a way that made everything feel super secretive, she offered Levi a chair and apologized to me for not having the proper seating for such a large-winged creature like myself.

"Oh, don't worry about it," I said. In an effort to sound as polite as possible, I smiled at her and added, "I don't mind standing. It's good for circulation." And now I sounded like a dweeb; I should have just kept my mouth shut while I was still ahead.

Turning her attention back to Levi, who'd taken a seat in the chair directly across from her, Mikasa folded one of her arms over her chest, while the other began to mindlessly toy with her scarf. It was another red one, of course. It almost felt redundant to mention that. "I'm not going to sugarcoat or beat around the bush with you, Levi. But first, I want to ask you something. Do you like working here?"

Oh, no. I started to feel as if my fearful premonition was coming true all of a sudden. Was Mikasa asking him that, because she wanted to fire him? Did she have plans to make him beg for his job and plea in order to keep his paycheck? She wouldn't do that, right? I mean, Mikasa was strict with him, but she wasn't  _that_  strict. She was just an over-worked, over-stressed woman in her late twenties that had to deal with a lot of annoying people. At least, I always assumed that she was in her late twenties. She couldn't have been younger...or older. I never did ask her what her age was, and I probably never would.

I watched as Levi fell into a terribly pensive state of mind. Truthfully, I couldn't remember the last time he had seemed so focused on an answer. Being as apt in saying the first thing that came into his head as he was, it was a rare sight to see him so thoughtful. It was nice; I liked his thinking face. It reminded me of the days when he'd had a lot more to think about than shampoo bottles and concealer.

After about a half-minute of waiting, Mikasa received her response. "There are a lot of things that I  _don't_  like about this job. I don't like my hours, I don't like my pay, and I most certainly  _don't_  like working for you." Did Levi even realize that he could have potentially been digging his own grave by saying those things? Well, yeah, but he probably didn't care. "Even so, I like my clients. They're annoying as Hell sometimes, but I like the stories that they tell me. Sometimes they talk about their kids, and sometimes they  _are_  kids and they talk to me about the things that they're interested in and what they're learning in school. It's because of this job that I've learned that there's nothing more satisfying than having someone tell you that they feel gorgeous, because of something  _you_  did to them. I mean, geez, all I did this one time was snip off someone's split ends and they said that they felt like the most beautiful woman in the entire world. I don't think that there's any other job out there that can give you that - the satisfaction, I mean. People tell me that  _I_  make them beautiful, yet I tell  _them_  that they've  _always_  been beautiful." Levi paused briefly and he cussed. "Okay, I just went off on a tangent there. Basically, there are some days that I never want to come back here again, but then there are other days when I feel like I'm becoming a better person because of this stupid place. So, yeah. Putting as much thought into it as I have, I guess it's alright working here. Why?"

Although Levi had been the one who was speaking, during the entirety of his speech, I had been staring directly at Mikasa. I wanted to read her body language, to see if what Levi was saying was affecting her in any way. When he'd said that he didn't like working for her, I saw her grip tighten on her scarf; when he said that he felt like working here had made him become a better person, her fingers loosened. I was beginning to feel confused. Was that the only reason why Mikasa had wanted for Levi to come in early? To ask him if he liked his job? There had to be something more.

And I was right.

"Why?" Mikasa had always come across as the type of person who liked to repeat other people's inquiries for emphasis. Now it was certain that she was one of those persons. Unfolding her arms and letting go of her scarf, she dropped her hands into her lap and eased herself forward. From what I could tell, it was an act that only heightened the importance of what she was about to say. "Because I want to give you a promotion, that's why."

"...Huh?" Levi was just as baffled as I was. A promotion? Did that sort of thing even exist in beauty salons? Levi was already a hair stylist  _and_  a make-up artist, so what else was there? "What do you mean?"

"I want to promote you to head manager," Mikasa explained. "You'd still be cutting hair and painting faces, but the difference is that, when I'm not around,  _you_ would be the one in charge."

"Will my pay be higher?" Of course that would have to be the first thing that Levi had asked. He had his priorities straight, that was for sure.

"Yes, but only marginally."

I could tell that Levi knew what Mikasa was offering to him was a great opportunity. She informed him that his hours would pretty much remain the same, unless something came up and she had to leave him in charge, and she told him how she'd thought of every other one of her employees for such a position, and in the end, shamefully decided that Levi was the perfect fit. He had all of the right components and all of the proper personality skills that it took to be a leader. All that was left was his answer.

"I'll need to think about it."

Mikasa nodded, expecting as much from him. "I figured you'd need to, and that's why I told you that you could leave earlier for today. I still need you to stick around and tend to the appointments that you have booked for this afternoon, but after you're finished, you don't have to loiter. You're free to leave."

As Levi and Mikasa began to put a close to their conversation by tying up all of the loose ends, it was a bit startling for me when I had been personally addressed by Mikasa herself. "Eren, I'd like to tell you something, as well."

"Oh! Um, yeah?" So much for sounding polite.

"I'm glad that you like your Christmas present. It looks nice on you."

Truth be told, I was wearing  _two_  Christmas presents, and both looked very nice on me, but I knew exactly which one she had been referring to. Looking down at the scarf she'd gifted me with, I smiled. "Thank you. It's been very handy to have this past month. I'm grateful that you gave it to me."

"Likewise." And it was that very statement that had me wondering if she was grateful that she'd given it to me, too, or if she was grateful that I'd been the one to do the very same thing for her so long ago. I genuinely wanted both answers to be true, and it was because of that mentality that kept me from asking which one it was.

 

* * *

 

Considering that Levi had arrived nearly two hours early for work, the rest of the day seemed to pass by at a relatively speedy pace. Most of Levi's customers were agreeable, and only one of them gave him a hard time. It was over the silliest of things, too: how he held his scissors, which was a minor annoyance, really. So what if he liked to hold his sheers backwards? If it got the job done, why was it such a big deal?

And even though Mikasa had given her permission for Levi to leave early, his last client of the day ended up being late, causing him to leave no more than ten minutes earlier than he usually did. It was a bit of a bummer, but he didn't seem to mind it all that much. In fact, as Levi clocked out and left the beauty salon, he appeared to be in a pretty good mood. I commented on it. "Well, you look pretty pleased for someone who didn't get to leave as early as planned."

Shrugging his shoulders, Levi tipped his head back to look at me, and said, "Yeah, it's alright. I guess I'm just really relieved that I still have my job."

"And possibly a promotion, too."

He nodded. "Yeah, I still need to think about that."

I could understand why Levi needed some time to think about accepting Mikasa's offer. Getting a promotion was a big deal, but once you started climbing up the career ladder, there was no way of climbing back down. If Levi didn't like being head manager, the only other option would be for him to quit his current job and to search for a new one. So, of course, accepting the offer required some thought.

Just as we were about to cross the street that led us to the apartment complex, Levi stopped walking and looked over at me. Confused and concerned all at once, I felt the need to ask, "Is something the matter, Levi?"

"I don't want to go back to the apartment yet."

Oh, was that so? And all this time, I'd had it in my head that Levi was desperate to head back and just kick his feet up and relax. Maybe he would even ask to take a nap with me, 'cause Lord knows how much we love our naps. "Really? Why not?"

Levi was a young man of many shocking words - I would know - but what he'd said in response to my question had left me completely and entirely in a state of awe. I wasn't sure if I had even heard him correctly.

"I want to go out on a date with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Ooh, what's this? Levi wants to take Eren out on a date? And this time, it's official! ;D
> 
> Where will they go? What will they see? What will they do? Let me know what you think, because I'd love to hear it! (:
> 
> With each chapter that gets published, the end of this story just keeps coming closer and closer, and as the author of this fic, it's so heartbreaking for me to see it go. Together, let's let these final weeks of "Feathers and Follies" go by as slowly as possible!
> 
> Alright, enough rambling, haha! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> And of course, as always, thank you for taking the time to read! 
> 
> \- Chappy


	32. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is a date that starts by going to McDonald's even considered a date?

Levi wanted to go out on a date...with me? Was he being serious? No, scratch that. Levi was  _always_  serious. But why now? Why tonight? What prompted him into wanting to have a date with me? And why was my heart beating so fast?

It wasn't like Levi and I hadn't gone out on a date before. There was that one night, over a month ago, when we'd traveled into the town, got pushed around by all sorts of people, and stopped into Hange's workplace to cause a fuss. Levi's hip gestures and horribly rude, complaining attitude was still burned into my brain, and just the thought of him ranting about his Phee-Phee's skin warts and that red collar nearly had me in a laughing fit.

But wait, did that even count as a date?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that  _I_  was the only one who must have considered it to be one. To Levi, our outing must have been just that: an outing. Maybe he'd even go as far as describing it as a  _fun_  night out, what with all of the chaos that we caused for Hange. I could still remember the look on his face, when he discovered that it had been Levi who'd been the picky customer all along. Ah, but at least we all had a good laugh in the end.

And we'd even been able to witness the first snowfall of the year.

Not only had we looked up at the sky and basked in its beauty, but my fingers began to twitch and curl at the memory of Levi's hand slipping into mine. Romantic; that had been the word that Hange had used to define the calming conclusion to our evening, and yes, he was right. Holding hands with Levi and watching the snowflakes as they fell from the Heavens had been nothing short of the word.

I began to wonder if our first,  _official_  date would live up to such a standard.

Fluffing up my feathers and looking at Levi with an awed expression, I stupidly asked him to repeat what he'd said. "What...did you just say, Levi?" I'd gone through an entire mental imagery of the night that we'd shared together - one that I had previously considered to be a date - not too long ago, and I still needed clarification? I was such an idiot.

Luckily, it was during moments like this that Levi boasted the patience of a saint. In fact, I was pretty sure that he found constant amusement in my obvious excitement over such a common thing. Dates were common, but dates between Levi and me were rare. Maybe now, with the more than apparent development in our relationship, we'd start making dates a regular thing. But I was getting ahead of myself. We hadn't even gone out on this date yet, and not only that, but Levi still needed to speak up and confirm that what he'd said still matched what he actually wanted.

"I said that I wanted to go out on a date with you, but I probably should have worded that better." Seemingly grateful that I'd given him a second chance to talk, Levi corrected his statement and turned it into a question, a question that was directed completely at me. And it was a simple question, no fancy words or over excessive displays of affection, but it was one that placed the future of our evening entirely in my hands. "Will you go out on a date with me, Eren?"

My answer came pouring out of my mouth, before I even had the chance to contemplate on it. It was like my heart was telling my brain, "No worries, man! I've got you covered on this one," and ended up being the one to respond instead. There wasn't a problem with that, right? At least Levi knew that he was being addressed with what I absolutely and genuinely wanted in return. "Yes, Levi," I breathed, for speaking my answer in any other way just didn't seem possible. "I would love to go out on a date with you."

Now, there was only one question remaining: where would we go? I had a feeling that the town wasn't on our list of options. It was nearly rush hour, and with the amount of business owners and city workers that strolled through those streets, walking around would be a nightmare; and yes, I would have to walk, too.

Levi and I always seemed to be on the same page of thought, because just as I'd been about to ask him where he wanted to go, he said, "Let's start by getting something to eat. Well, it would be just me, I guess. Sorry, but I'm hungry."

"Levi, don't apologize for being hungry," I chided him lightly, though my smile made it hardly a scold. I didn't like it when Levi apologized for his human needs, especially when it was those very needs that brought me satisfaction when tended to. "I'd be more than happy to watch you eat." And now I just sounded creepy. "Okay, that definitely came out wrong, but you know what I mean."

I heard him exhale a single note of laughter, before I saw him nod. "Yeah, I know what you mean, Eren. But don't worry, I'll be quick. I'm kind of craving fast food anyway, so let's just stop at McDonald's for a bit."

And that unearthed another memory of ours. We'd gone to McDonald's the night after I'd been to Levi's workplace for the first time. I still remembered that he ordered a McFlurry, because he, and I quote, "damn well deserved one," and I could still feel the icky, gooey concealer and array of other make-up products that had coated my feathers after my little mishap in one of the back rooms at the salon. That night had been a wild one, and honestly, I don't think he and I have been to McDonald's since then. Hopefully this time around, we'd have a much more peaceful experience.

But there was no such thing as "peace" in McDonald's.

Apparently, the happy meal toy of the month must have been something that children went crazy for. Even before we'd entered and restaurant, Levi and I could hear the screams and cries of kids who wanted their happy meals, and mothers and fathers who were too tired from their days at work to argue. This was turning out to be a lovely start to our date.

But I couldn't complain. After seeing Levi saunter up to the front counter, order his meal, and walk away with his tray of food in hand and a contented complexion on his face, all of the background annoyances had faded into nothing but white noise.

Coincidentally, we ended up sitting in the same booth that we had sat at the last time we were there. Yet again, I had to shimmy my way in between the table and the plastic seating arrangement. My wings hadn't shrunk in size, that was for sure. Actually, I was almost convinced that they'd  _grown_  since then. Was that even possible? I mean, if babies grew into adults, why couldn't angel wings grow in size? For angels that were born with smaller wings, having them expand over time would be a good thing. In my case, being born with already freakishly large wings made the discovery more of hassle than anything else.

While Levi began to peel back the paper wrapping that encased his burger, he glanced up at me and asked me if I was comfortable. "We can move to a larger booth, if it'll give you more room."

At first, I was a bit concerned that Levi was speaking so openly to me in public. I know he mentioned something about how he wouldn't pretend to be talking on his cell phone anymore, but this was different. We weren't just walking around on the street where passerby pedestrians could spare him a glance and only wonder if they had heard him talking to himself or not. No, we were in a sit-down restaurant with children and families that would  _stare_  at him if they saw him speaking to the empty seat in front of him. Was he really that secure in his self-confidence that he didn't care?

"Levi," I started to whisper. I didn't even know  _why_  I had whispered, because it wasn't like anyone could hear me anyway. You'd think that after being an angel for nearly three months, I would have been able to grasp that concept by now. "Are you sure you're okay with talking to me like this? People might think you're delusional."

After fitting a French fry into his into his mouth and having a sip from his soda straw, I watched Levi shrug his shoulders and take a quick bite out of his hamburger. Chewing thoroughly and swallowing, it wasn't until his mouth was completely clear of food and beverage that he casually responded, "I thought I told you that I'm done caring about what other people think of me. If they want to stare, let them. If I feel like talking to you, I'm going to talk to you, Eren."

This time, I took Levi's words to heart. Taking only a second to ingrain them into my memory banks, I could feel myself smiling. I was so easy to please, and I always had been. It was the simplest of things that brought me the most joy. Money and power and fame, all of those were great...for other people. To me, all I could ever hope for were things like acceptance, comfort, and praise, and I was blessed enough to have received all three of them in both my first lifetime and my current. I would never allow myself to take any of it for granted.

As Levi continued eating, I felt myself slipping into a daydream about, well, my  _dream_. I didn't know why, but the more I thought about it, the more I could sense that there was something else that I had been visually missing. It was almost like there was a part of my dream that I'd forgotten, and it wasn't until I'd started mindlessly playing with the teeth of my key that it dawned on me.

I had seen myself in that dream, too.

How had I forgotten? Had I seriously been  _that_  focused on my vision of Levi that my mind had nearly wiped out the mere thought of my presence altogether? No, that wasn't it. Was this a  _new_  vision? That didn't seem likely, but if it was so, it was one that I was experiencing in complete consciousness.

There was Levi, I could see him. He was bent on his knees, and holding his head for what appeared to be dear life, he silently screamed for the pain to stop. None of that had been a new sight to me; I remembered it vividly from my dream the night before. But then, there I was. I was standing right next to him - had I been there all along? I saw myself eyeing Levi, assessing him, and yet, I made no move to help him. His hands were on his head, and my hands were on my chest. I didn't understand it. Was I in some sort of pain, as well? That didn't matter. What  _did_ matter was the idea of seeing myself physically doing nothing to help Levi when he was obviously in a world of pain. It was so unsettling to me, the third-person point of view, but the object of myself had been entirely unfazed by it. "Help him!" I wanted to scream at myself, but when I felt something kick at my foot from underneath the table, all of my surroundings came flooding back into awareness. And the first thing I heard was Levi's voice.

"Hey, is everything okay?" he asked. "Just now, you looked like you were really disgusted by me, or something. I know that burp had been kind of gross, but like, I said excuse me."

"...Huh?" First of all, I hadn't even realized that I'd been staring directly at Levi throughout the brunt of my daydreaming, and secondly, it didn't even  _hear_  his belch. So, my thoughts must have taken me that far back into the depths of my mind, huh? "Wait, Levi," I spoke. I had felt obligated to correct my mistake. "That wasn't it at all. You didn't disgust me, I promise, it's just..." I sighed. Now probably wasn't the best time to tell him about my dream, so I'd spare him the details of it and only address the bare minimum. "I had a dream last night."

"A dream?" Levi was just about finished with his food, and so placing his tray aside, he folded his arms onto the flimsy table that wobbled under his weight and gave me his full attention. "What kind of dream?"

"I guess you could call it a nightmare. I've...never had one before, at least, not since I've become an angel."

"What happened?"

I really had been meaning to limit the description of my dream into something as minimal as possible, but after I'd started relaying what my eyes had seen, there was no use in stopping myself. "It's hard to explain, because I feel like there's two parts to it, but I'll try my best. See, in the first part of my dream, I saw you and  _only_  you." I noticed that Levi had taken some pride in that - as he should - but once I brought up the main subject of my worries, his satisfied smirk faded into a look of utmost seriousness. "I don't know why, Levi, but you were holding your head and you looked like you were in a lot of pain. You were screaming, I mean, I think you were. I couldn't hear anything."

With a small pause between the two parts of my dream, I told him about the differences in both of the visions. "I was sure that you had been alone in my dream, but now that I've been thinking about it again, I'm almost positive that I was there, too."

"What happened next, Eren?"

Levi's intense interest in my dream made me feel slightly guilty for not telling him about it earlier. I should have been honest with him during breakfast. I should have explained what I'd seen to him then, back when our setting had been far more private and a little boy with a happy meal toy in his mouth wasn't staring at us - well, at Levi. Just how long had he been staring at him?

"When I saw myself, I wasn't sure if I was having a second dream, or if I was just slowly starting to remember certain things from my first. Actually, I'm still not all too sure about that. But anyway, I saw you holding onto your head again, and this time, I was standing there right beside you. The thing that disturbs me the most is that...I didn't  _do_  anything. Levi, you were in so much pain, but in this vision, I just  _stood_  there and  _watched_  you. It was like I had no desire to help you and it just, it makes me feel sick to think about it."

I further mentioned how I'd been holding onto my chest for what I assumed to be no reason at all, and when I'd brought the story of my dream to an end, it wasn't all that surprising that Levi had something to say about it. "As weird and as unsettling as that dream sounds, I wouldn't put too much thought into it. You said that it was the first dream you've ever had, right? There's probably a reason for it, but at the same time, it could mean nothing at all. If guardian angel dreams are anything like human dreams, then you have nothing to worry about. Crap, I wish I could remember my dreams; if I could, what I'd just said would probably sound a Hell of a lot more convincing."

Even without the remembrance of his dreams, I willingly accepted Levi's advice. He was right, he  _always_  was, and if he was telling me not to stress over something that I'd seen in a fit of my slumber, then stress I would not.

But why did I still feel so uneasy?

Slurping up the last sip from his straw and then popping his final French fry into his mouth, Levi and I decided to take our leave. At long last, our date could finally begin! Oh, but not without a little bit of commentary first.

As we passed by the table of the small boy who had been staring at Levi throughout the entirety of his dining experience, he had spit his toy out just long enough to announce, "Mommy! Daddy! That guy was talking to himself!" With muffled shushes and hushes from both his mother and his father, the little boy pouted and complained, "What? He was! He was talking to himself!"

Standing outside of the restaurant, Levi took to fixing his beanie, which had become slightly misplaced during the course of the day. It was while his fingers were tugging and pulling at the thin fabric of his fashion ware that he scoffed and muttered something nearly inaudible beneath his breath. "What a noisy little brat." It was ironic how he used to call me the same thing.

With his beanie back in its place and his hair freshly tousled, I asked Levi if he had any ideas about where our date should start. To myself, I wondered if we'd visit multiple places. The sun had already set, but that was no matter. Something in the way that Levi had nodding and saying, "I have a bit of an interesting idea in mind," told me that the sun's presence wasn't necessary. The glint of mild attraction in his eyes only confirmed that.

Reaching the back of my neck, my palm loosely rested against my nape. Was I kind of nervous to hear what Levi had in mind? Maybe, but that didn't stop me from asking, "What's your idea, Levi?"

"For now, just follow me. I'll tell you about it when we get there." Oh, what was this? Was Levi being playfully mysterious? I kind of liked that. It definitely made me very excited to see where Levi was planning on taking me, so excited that my wings were eagerly flapping all the while as I walked right by his side.

When ended up walking for a good fifteen, maybe even twenty minutes at most. By the time Levi had stopped to look around and label all that encompassed us, for whatever reason, right there, in the middle of a neighborhood that was utterly unfamiliar to the both of us (or just me. It was probably just me), seemed to him like the perfect place for our date. "Um, Levi?"

"I know what you're thinking, Eren," he sighed. "You have no idea why we're here, right?" I nodded, because hey, it was true. "Hm, thought so. This is where we met, Eren."

"...What?" I had him repeating his initial invitation of our date in the first place, and now I was asking him to repeat the location of our whereabouts? Forget having the patience of a saint; Levi had the patience of a god.

Now, it was his turn to rub the back of his neck. Was he nervous, too? "Yeah, this is where we met. You kind of fell out of the sky and crash-landed, like, right here."

Well, no  _wonder_  I had no recollection of this place. It all made so much sense now.

At the time of my return to Earth, I'd been so overwhelmed by being in such close proximity with Levi that I'd almost lost all of my awareness, and I spiraled toward the ground. Once I was down, I remembered hearing a few voices - voices that I could now distinguish as Levi and Hange - before I passed out. It wasn't until I came to my senses that fragments of the buildings that surrounded us began to feel familiar. However, in that moment, all I could recall was being focused on was the sight of Levi, my lover and my Corporal; everything else had meant nothing to me.

But it was different now. After learning its purpose, returning to such a place felt nostalgic - better yet, it felt  _romantic_. Definitely date worthy. Damn, Levi had some pretty good taste. "Now I can understand why I didn't remember this area, at first," I whispered. "My eyes were too busy looking at you." Wow, okay. No. No, that was  _way_  too cheesy. I had to say something else. I had to somehow negate what I'd just said by saying something simple. "Well, you know, that and I was kind of knocked out, so..." Alright, that was better.

Gentle laughter rumbled against Levi's chest, as he nodded at the memory. "That was a crazy night. We've had...many crazy nights, actually." Tell me something I  _don't_  know. "Let's not make tonight one of those nights."

I cocked my head at that. "Oh?"

Grabbing at words to try and better explain his thoughts, Levi stepped just that much closer, close enough to where I found myself automatically feeling the need to touch him. I had no worries, though, because with the way that his hands had taken to resting against mine, I had an inkling that we were after very much the same thing. "Let's make tonight memorable," he said quietly, and made his statement clearer by smoothing his fingers across mine. "Memorable, but not crazy."

It was the request of having a memorable night that spawned an idea all my own. As we stood there, calmly reminiscing over the chaotic start to what was now our normal, everyday life, I'd noticed a distant building that seemed to be relatively taller than all of the others. Not only that, but from the looks of it, the roof of the building seemed to be filled with some sort of greenery display. I couldn't detect what kind of plants they were from where we stood, but looking to Levi with a set of hopeful eyes, I cautiously questioned, "Can I take you somewhere, too?"

I would be forever grateful for the fact that Levi had the type of personality where he was up for just about anything. So long as dirt and grime weren't involved, we were good to go. Although, it was my next suggestion that had him a bit baffled. "I'm going to need you to hold onto me, then."

"Wait, why?"

"Just trust me, okay?" I didn't want to ruin the surprise, even though I was ninety-nine percent sure that Levi already knew about the place I was planning on taking him. Um, yeah. Taking. Not... You know what? Never mind.

Forcing my mind out of the gutter, I brought my arms around him after he'd grabbed a hold of my shoulders. With the coast as clear as a cloudless day and our bodies flush up against one another, it wasn't a second more before I painfully took flight.

As I guided Levi's body toward the roof of that building, I felt his fingers curl against my chest in what I assumed to be an effort to make his grip tighter. Was flying scary for him? He and I had only done it together once before, and that instance had  _not_  been a very good example of the experience. Still, I tried to make the trip as short as possible by pushing against the strain on my wings and leveling out my flight path. After ascending up the length of the building and circling around the roof from overhead, all that was left was my much practiced landing and we had arrived.

Like I'd suspected, Levi had known all about this place. He told me that the rooftop used to be catered to by an old man who would climb up the twenty-six flights of stairs that it took to get to the top of the building just to water these plants every day. Once he'd passed away, a florist who lived just a few blocks over decided to take his place, and was now the one who owned all of these plants.

After hearing such a story, I almost felt like the rooftop was too sacred to stand upon, let alone do what I had originally been wanting to do the moment Levi had informed me about our first meeting spot. I wanted to kiss him. Actually, it was more than that. I wanted to  _make out_  with him.

God, I was such a teenager.

"Do you think it's okay that we're up here?" I wondered. "I had no idea that this was someone's private property."

"Nah, it's fine, and even if it  _wasn't_ , I still wouldn't want to leave."

That piqued my interest. "Oh, yeah? Why not?"

I knew what was coming. Even before Levi had begun to speak, his mannerisms were relatively easy to read. When his hands found my neck, I tilted my head. When his eyes narrowed their gaze, my own slipped closed. And when his words were finally spoken, it wasn't much longer after that when I'd felt his lips brushing up against mine. "Because ever since you said that your eyes were too busy looking at me, I've been too busy thinking about doing this."

We must have kissed each other for over an hour, but I couldn't say for sure. I'd lost all concept of time, and when our legs had grown too tired to keep ourselves upright, we resorted to rolling around on a fresh bed of newly planted grass, deeming it as, well, our  _bed_.

There were times when he was on top of me. Holding onto my key and kissing me up and down, his actions caused my chin to tilt back as pleasant little moans tickled in my throat. It felt so good to be submissive and to just enjoy everything that he felt like doing with my body, but then again, there were times when  _I_ was on top of  _him_.

It was during those moments that I took the opportunity to stroke my hands all along his arms and legs. Still kissing him in many undisclosed places, I wanted to feel the ridge of his muscles and explore all of his memorized dips and curves. The best part of it was that Levi didn't seem to mind my greedy, grabby nature. In fact, the sound of both his delicate and deep groans only encouraged my hands to continue their travels.

Curiosity getting the better of him, it was while my back was arched and my lips were far to occupied kissing his chest that his left hand had started sliding its way up my spine. At first, the tender touch was welcomed with open arms, but when his nosy little fingers had found my nape, it was game over. He was in control once again.

It was a good thing that average humans couldn't hear an angel's cry, because while Levi's lips and teeth assaulted the back of my neck, I had to admit, I had been making some pretty  _unholy_  sounds, sounds that I only felt comfortable letting out around Levi. Even if he didn't remember them, he'd heard them all before. These uncontrollable moans, they were loud and they weren't anything new, but God, did it feel so  _good_  to be able to make them again. It was a pretty dorky thing to do, but after Levi had finally given my nape a break, I'd actually thanked him for making me feel as if I were floating on cloud nine.

"Don't thank me for making you feel good, Eren," Levi breathed against my neck. "It's my pleasure."

With our chests still rising and falling in a visibly uneven pattern, one last peck left us both feeling fulfilled. Rolling onto our backs just like we would have if we were on an actual bed, Levi cuddled into my wing and let out a soft sigh. How relaxing. And when you really think about it, our date had altogether been very relaxing and there was nothing wrong with that. Like I said, I'm very easy to please. Even still, if this was what our dates would always be like, I wanted to go out on one with Levi every single night.

It wasn't before long that Levi had interrupted the comfortable quiet that blanketed the both of us. Not that I minded, though. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before, but I  _loved_  the way that Levi's voice tended to sound after we'd finished kissing for a long duration of time. "Eren?"

"Yes, Levi?"

"I'm going to deny my promotion."

Normally, I would have turned over at Levi with a look of shock, but for the time being, I felt too tired to even move. I tried to let my voice sound surprised for me. "Really? Why are you going to deny it?"

I heard him sigh again, but this time, it hadn't sounded as relieved as his first. This one made me think that what he was about to say was something that had been on his mind for quite some time. "You know, I've been thinking about this for a little while now, but I think I want to go back to school. I want to get a degree in something, but I don't know what. Maybe sociology. It's just, I've been thinking about the future lately,  _our_  future, and I know that we've promised to live in the present, but if we're going to be together for the rest of my life, then I want to be worth something. I want to be someone who makes you proud to call your guarded human, and not just some lazy punk who rolls out of bed in the morning and clocks into his job ten minutes late every day. I didn't really have a plan in mind before I started saying any of this, but I think that what I'm trying to get at here is, you used to admire me, right? When I was your Corporal, you probably used to look up to me like I was something really special, and that's what I want. I want to be someone who's admirable. I want to be someone who can wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning and feel like I've done a job well done with myself...and I feel like going back to the university might be the start to that."

The level of maturity that had just spilled down from Levi's brain to his mouth left me amazed, but there were some parts of his speech that I had to disagree with. "While I think that going back to the university would be a good thing for you to do eventually, don't do it because you think that I'm not proud of you, because Levi, I am  _so_  proud of you. I admire you and your charismatic attitude when you're at work, and I admire how dedicated and devoted you are with your clients. Overpriced books and a piece of paper saying that you passed isn't what's going to make me proud. In reality, just being able to watch you grow and develop as a good-natured member of society, one who's out of harms way and strives to do and say the right thing, that makes me proud. You make me proud. I love you, Levi."

Needless to say, our lips had found each other's after that heartwarming exchange of words. I understood where Levi was coming from by saying that he wanted to be admired, and Levi understood where I was coming from when I'd said that he was  _already_  admired. Being as able to read into our emotions as we were, it was just that easy for us to communicate with one another. And all in all, it was because of our little heart-to-heart that Levi chose to think about his promotion a little bit more. He'd dropped out of university for a reason, and although that reason may not have been very "admirable" to him, it was what he was doing with his life right now that mattered. And honestly, if living a life where was making people feel good about themselves and their outer appearances was the goal of your career, then yeah, something like that was admirable.

In was in the midst of our kiss, when our lips had all but barely been touching, that Levi began to moan - but it wasn't a pleasurable kind of moan. With him being the first to withdraw from our casual kiss, I asked him, "Levi, is everything alright?"

"No..." he muttered, sounding as if he were trying to ward off a strain of some sort. "I...all of a sudden, I don't feel good."

That made me sit up faster than I would have liked to. With my head in a spin and my eyes trying to focus on Levi, I quickly asked him, "What's the matter, Levi? What doesn't feel good?"

"My head." His head. "It's...starting to really hurt." His _head_. "And nausea. I feel really nauseated..." He was holding on to his  _head_.

I was sent into a panic. This was just a coincidence, right? It had to be a coincidence. Levi's head had been hurting him in my dream, but there was no way that the two pieces could have fit together, right? There was just no way... Right?

"Let's go home."

After flying him back down to the pavement, Levi seemed terribly unstable and pretty much entirely off balance. Leaning against my shoulder must have made for an interesting sight to those that passed us by, but I was far too concerned about Levi's well-being to even think about anyone else.

And what scared me the most was just how  _fast_  it had happened. One minute, Levi and I had been talking about our future and sharing a wonderful kiss, and the next, he was overcome with a sense of illness. Illness. Sickness. Levi was ill. Levi was sick.

The moment we'd made it back to the apartment, Levi didn't even bother to take off his shoes; he was up and running for the bathroom. Erwin and Hange had been sitting in the living area and had seen Levi rush by. Just as confused and concerned as I was, Hange was immediately asking, "Eren, what's the matter with Levi?"

Just a second later, he'd received his answer.

The horrid sound of Levi's retching could be heard even from where we stood, and it was that alone that had me looking back and forth between the two faces in front of me and the hallway that lead toward where Levi was undoubtedly vomiting. Without another given thought, my feet had me racing down the hall and into the bathroom.

The sight I was presented with was almost surreal. It was like a dream... _my dream_.

There Levi was, bent at the knees and holding onto his head, appearing to be in a world of pain. At first, I didn't know what to do. Huh, imagine that. A guardian angel not knowing what to do. Just seeing him like that...it hurt so much.

After coughing up the last bit of his dinner, Levi made an effort to stand and flush the toilet. It when he nearly stumbled in the process that I'd finally made my move. I was right there to grab him.

This definitely...felt surreal.

"Levi, are you okay?" I asked him, because that was the only thing I needed to know. If Levi was okay, I was okay...but he certainly didn't look  _okay_.

"Yeah, I think I'll be fine," he struggled to say, making it obvious that his pain was speaking for him, "I probably...I probably have food poisoning, or the flu, or something like that, so there's nothing to worry about, Eren. It'll be annoying, but I'll just get it out of my system and then I'll be fine."

He started looking around, and I could instantly tell that he was looking for his toothbrush. It was the first thing that any person looked for after they'd just finished throwing up, right? Finding it resting in the sink-side cup with ease, I picked it up and handed it over to him, along with a tube of his minty fresh toothpaste.

This was good. This was fine. This was going to be okay.

Levi would brush his teeth and he would head off to bed. I would bring the waste basket that he kept behind his door closer to his bedside in case of an overnight emergency. I would tuck him into my wing and stroke the back of his head until he fell asleep. I would let him rest the following day and allow him to get this bug out of his system for good. I would do all of these things, and in the end, Levi would be fine. Levi would be okay.

But Levi wasn't fine, and he wasn't okay.

After guiding him out of the bathroom and into the hall, I felt the shift in the atmosphere as my entire world came crashing down around me. I was certain that I heard Levi mutter something about feeling like he'd been shot in the head, just before he collapsed onto the floor utterly unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Wow, this chapter ended up being my longest one yet! I feel like such a milestone had been reached, because of it! 
> 
> But alas, this chapter ended on *dramatic music* a cliffhanger. Haven't had one of those in a while, huh? Well, they're back, and with a vengeance it would seem. :I
> 
> There were so many different emotions in this chapter, like, happy, sad, confusing emotions, but gosh, I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> Anywho, that's enough rambling for now! I'll let you guys go off and wonder what's happening to Levi now. :D
> 
> And as always, thank you so much for taking the time to read! I always appreciate it!
> 
> \- Chappy
> 
> Fun fact: the happy meal toy for January 2014 in the US was Adventure Time for boys and Paul Frank for girls. (:
> 
> P.S. Also, I've been told a multiple times now by a few of you that you really like my icon, and guess what! I finally came across the comic that it originated from! Here's the link, in case any of you are interested: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=40199068


	33. Death Is Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the man whom I used to call Corporal, I love you.

Whoever said death was cold was living in a fool's paradise...or so I thought.

My whole being and my entire purpose as Levi's guardian angel was to protect him. I was destined to save him from all forms of danger and to shield him from any kind of harm. It wasn't like this was a new principle of mine. This was something that I'd known since day zero - I had felt these feelings and these urges to protect Levi, before I even knew it was him that I would be protecting. And I have. I've saved Levi in the past. I saved him from falling off of the kitchen counter. I saved him from hitting his head against the bathroom sink, as he was stepping out of the shower. I saved him from Ymir. But when Levi's unconscious body had fallen to the floor, my jerk reaction hadn't been to reach out and grab him. My default  _hadn't_  been to save him.

And for a fleeting second, I felt as if I could do nothing but watch. Just like in my dream.

No, I couldn't even refer to it as that anymore. My "dream" hadn't been a dream, but a forewarning; that was made clear to me now. It was as if my mind had been telling me point-blank what was going to happen to Levi,  _my_  Levi, and I simply refused to listen. I was pathetic. I was a disgrace. I wasn't worthy of being called  _his_  guardian angel.

But now wasn't the time to think about that. Now was the time to focus. I had to concentrate, and I had to stay sharp. I could fix this. I  _had_  to fix this.

"Levi!"

Erwin and Hange were on their feet the moment they had heard the loud  _thud_  of Levi's body hitting against the hardwood floor, let alone the sound of my accompanying scream. I was half expecting to hear a lecture from Erwin about how I'd done something I shouldn't have, or how I could have handled the situation better, but the sight of my worry-stricken visage must have been enough for him to understand the state of panic I'd been placed in. "What happened?!"

"I-I..." The words wouldn't come out. They were stuck in my throat, suffocating me with their truth. Where was my focus? I  _needed_  to focus.

"Eren, it's okay," Hange breathed, more than likely executing a tactic of his to get me breathing again. Had I stopped breathing? "Just take a deep breath and tell us what happened."

Deep wasn't exactly the word I would have used to describe the breath that I'd taken, but it was a breath nonetheless. Shallow and short, I used that tidbit of oxygen to coat my lungs and spit out what I'd heard Levi say the moment before he fell. "He...he said something about being shot. Something about f-feeling like his head had been shot. That's when he fell down..." My vision was starting to blur. Tears? Was I crying? Focus. I had to focus. "I don't know what's going on."

"Headache, nausea, vomiting, loss of consciousness..." Erwin's monotone chant had done its job in capturing both my and Hange's attention, but it was Hange who had been the first one to address it.

"Erwin, what are you...?"

"I'm listing off his symptoms." He looked at his wristwatch. "It's 9:56PM, and as of right now, he's still breathing and his pulse feels only slightly unnatural. However, if he doesn't come to by 10PM, we're calling 911 and we're taking him to the hospital." That's right. His jargon made sense now. Even if it wasn't by choice, Erwin was studying to become a surgeon. His knowledge of bodily ailments and human diseases could probably give us an insight as to what was happening to Levi, but that was only wishful thinking. When I had asked him for some sort of explanation, some sort of  _anything_ , Erwin merely stated that he had none such diagnosis to offer. "I won't know until he wakes up."

Until he wakes up...as in, he was  _going_  to wake up. I'd placed every ounce of my faith into the clock and into Levi's eyelids, and until I saw them fluttering with life, I wasn't going to stop calling out to him. He was going to wake up. He  _had_ to wake up.

It was 9:57PM; I'd said Levi's name twenty-eight times and I felt the urge to touch him, to comfort him. It was 9:58PM; I'd said Levi's name fifty-two times and I gave into my urge. It was 9:59PM; I'd said Levi's name seventy times and I allowed my hand to rest within the slack palm that laid limply on the floorboards.

The distant sound of church bells began to chime their rhythmic, celestial song, an archaic alert to the nearby residents of the new hour. I didn't want to listen. I didn't want to hear it when the strong clapper rammed against the aged mouth of the center bell for the tenth time. The bell had chimed ten times. It was 10PM.

And Levi still hadn't opened his eyes.

Erwin gave the signal to Hange for him to dial 911 and to explain the situation briefly and clearly to the dispatcher. Somehow, in the midst of all of the chaos of verbal instruction, my hand had found Levi's warm cheek. Even though my gentle touch was usually all that it took to regrettably rouse him out of his casual slumber, my efforts this time had been to no avail.

At that point, I'd lost track of how many times I'd said Levi's name.

From past experience, I'd always known that it never did take long for an ambulance to arrive at the scene of an emergency, and just minutes after Hange had hung up with the dispatcher, a fleet of EMTs were rushing up the stairwell and knocking on the front door. Neither Hange nor Erwin made any attempt to remove me from "the patient" - I disliked that way of referring to Levi - for they knew my presence would go unnoticed anyway.

Duffle bags filled with equipment and men of greater build than I came stomping into the apartment, after Hange had let them in. Said duffle bags were set beside Levi's legs, and the narrow space of the hall only became that much more cramped with the addition of three extra bodies. That's when the inquiries began. "How long has he been out like this?"

My eyes were watchful of the hands that began to poke and prod at Levi's arms and neck, regions that belonged to me and solely to me. How selfish was I, in a circumstance as dire as this, to wish that I bore the hands of a human and the knowledgeable touch of a doctor. I was Levi's guardian, but my feelings were more than just that. I  _owed_  my life to him. How many times had Levi saved me from my death in the past? How many times had my heart nearly stopped beating, only to keep on pumping life because of him? As a human, Levi had saved me, and as his guardian angel, it was my turn to save Levi, not some trained strangers who had fancy degrees and didn't even know his name...the very name that I had called out until my throat ran dry. They didn't recognize our bond. They didn't cater to his needs. They didn't even know  _I_  existed.

"Just under ten minutes," Erwin answered plainly. How he could sound so nonchalant when one of his only friends was suffering from a currently unknown condition was beyond my level of knowledge. Even Hange had caved to the temptation of tremors.

"Anything else unusual? Any dizziness or nausea beforehand?"

"He vomited just minutes before he collapsed. He also complained of having a strong sense of pain in his head. Even though such a feeling is impossible, he said something about it almost feeling like he'd been shot."

Two of the EMTs glanced at one another. What were they thinking? Why did their stares seem to read each other's perfectly? But I knew that type of language; Levi and I were well-versed in it. It was a silent communication where only a simple look could depict an array of thoughts.

"Do any of you know what caused him to faint like this?" Hange wondered, and thank God for him to have spoken the one question that was certainly on all of our tongues.

"You've provided some good insight, but it's hard to say anything valid until he goes through some tests. His condition doesn't appear to be life-threatening, but your comment about the pain he felt in his head is concerning. I can only imagine that they'll want to do a CT scan on him, once he's brought in. Todd, get the stretcher."

The tallest of the three men, Todd apparently, rose to his feet and jogged back up the hall. I hadn't even realized that the EMTs had brought a stretcher with them, but it was kind of an obvious necessity when dealing with any form of medical predicament. Stretchers were a means of transportation, but why use such an uncomfortable board of a bed when Levi had me? I could carry him. I could bring him to the waiting ambulance and I could hold him for the ride. Hell, I could fly him to the hospital five times faster than any automobile ever could. Screw the cold; my wings would be coasting on an extreme brand of adrenaline.

When the EMT had returned with the stretcher unfolded and ready for use, I was forced to back away. People posed no challenge to me - I could faze right through them - but physical objects served as the only obstacles between me and Levi. Although the gap was only marginal, any gap was still too much for comfort. I wanted to be right beside him; anything less was miles too far.

"Eren..." Wait, was that my name? Had Levi just said my name? My eyes were immediately on his lips, assessing their position and shape. There were no signs of movement. I eventually looked up.

Hange's expression had been just as remorseful as the tone he'd used when getting my attention. His eyes wore a sheet of sadness, and his eyebrows were pulled into a knotted furrow. He may not have understood the amount of worry and pain that I was going through, but he knew enough to provide a humane response. "He's going to be okay."

One of the EMTs had heard Hange's statement, and asked, "Eren? Is this young man named Eren?"

"No, Eren is our friend," Erwin intervened, leaving me utterly shocked by his choice of words. Little did I know that there were more surprises to come in his speech. "He lives with us, but he's out right now. He and Levi get along very well. I'm sure he'll be devastated when he hears the news."

"Well, there's no news to report on yet," Todd - I remembered his name - corrected. "We see cases like this all the time, and most to all of our patients turn out just fine. But enough small chat. We've gotta go, or else your friend here might  _not_  be fine."

Exactly. What were they waiting for? Why had we wasted so much time? The EMTs may have said that Levi's condition didn't seem all that life-threatening, but something in my gut was telling me otherwise. Levi's words. Even if they were muffled at the time, I could hear them loud and clear as they were echoing through my mind. I wanted to ask. I wanted to ask Erwin what time it was. How much time had passed since the EMTs had arrived? How much time had passed since Levi had blacked out? How much time had passed since I'd broken my promise to Levi?

My promise to catch him if ever he were to fall.

For acting so casual prior to hauling Levi onto the stretcher, once he was secured and wrapped with a blanket, the three men sure seemed to be in a hurry to get him out of the apartment, down the stairs, and into the back of the ambulance. Curious bystanders watched from afar as Erwin and and Hange helped themselves through the back doors after the EMTs, and with too much equipment in too little of a space, my only other option was to take flight.

_'Everything is going to be okay. Levi is going to be okay.'_

 

* * *

 

Flashes of blinking red lights burned inverse images into my pupils, and the loud siren pierced permanent dominion straight through my eardrums. My head was in a thousand places, and even with all of the twists and turns that my mind had created in its frenzy, all of those places had one common factor: Levi.

He was in the ambulance below me, being tended to by humans that had no idea where he worked, or what he ate for dinner, or what his plans were for the future. He was being shuttled to a place where more humans with the same lack of knowledge would then try to do the very same thing. So why was it that I, the one entity in the entire universe that yearned for his well-being more than I idolized my own, and the only one who actually  _knew_ all of that information and much, much more about Levi, could do absolutely nothing for him in his greatest state of need?

I wanted to fix this. I wanted to fix  _him_...but I didn't have the power to do so.

Time became a smear of nonsense and pain became a choice. If I didn't think about my wings (and how could I even justifiably think about them?), it wouldn't register in my brain that they were straining immensely to keep me in the air. Like I'd suspected, it was pure adrenaline alone that was pushing me forward.

An abrupt turn and a sharp stop had the ambulance driving its way up to the main entrance of the hospital's emergency unit. If I'd still been able to calculate the concept of minutes and seconds, I would have deemed the trip to be a quick one. But I couldn't, and the journey from the apartment to the ER felt like an eternity.

Landing on the roof of the ambulance, I hopped down to the pavement at just the right moment to see the back doors of the vehicle open and the group of EMTs, along with two new faces (I'm assuming paramedics?), escorting Erwin and Hange out of the ambulance. Shortly after, the stretcher was propped on its wheels and Levi was being carried out onto the sidewalk.

I instantly rushed toward him.

The EMTs were moving even quicker than they had been at the apartment, and the jumbled babble that was spoken between one other gave me trouble in comprehending what they were talking about. What happened to their whole "gung-ho" attitude about Levi's condition not being all that concerning? Why did everything suddenly seem like a rush?

"He's getting worse, Eren."

It was like nails on a chalkboard to hear that. Turning my head, I noticed that Erwin and Hange were on either of my sides - they were standing so close to me that they were fazing through my wings. We were walking and the paramedics were talking, so they hadn't been paying attention to the fact that one of their guests was holding a conversation with a person who wasn't even there.

"What do you mean he's  _getting worse_?" I whispered. That couldn't be right, and it certainly didn't  _sound_  right. How could Levi's level of health have declined? It hadn't been that long since he'd collapsed, right? No, wait. What time was it? I couldn't remember; I'd lost track. What  _time_  was it?

"The paramedics said that his pulse is becoming slower and slower by the minute," Hange explained. I wished that I could relearn the meaning of minutes. Maybe then I would be able to understand just how long it had been since this had started, and for how long Levi's life had been gradually slipping away. No. No, no, no. He was still here and he was still alive. He wasn't going anywhere. "They also said that they need to run an immediate CT scan to see what's going on with his head, because they have a feeling that something major has happened to his brain."

His...brain?

"What...?" If my voice hadn't been an indicator of my desperation, my eyes obviously were. Had I been in the right state of mind, I would have wondered what color they became when I was in complete and utter distress. Black? Maybe grey? Whatever the shade, they were the window to my aching soul. "What do you  _mean_  that something major has happened to his brain? He...he had a headache. A really bad one, but it was only a headache! I would have made him take an aspirin before bed, and he would have been fine!" I was in denial. "I was going to rub his back and talk to him softly, until he fell asleep. He liked it when I did that, he really liked it. And in the morning, he would be okay again. His head wouldn't hurt anymore and he would feel refreshed and...he would feel fine." I was in so much denial.

"Eren..." The ever empathetic Hange had been just about to say something to calm my nerves, when Erwin felt the need to add his input. Surprisingly, it was a question...a question I definitely hadn't been expecting at a time like this, and  _especially_  not from him.

"Eren, how did you die in your previous life?"

Why did he want to know that? What did it have to do with anything? The paramedics were starting to push Levi's stretcher even faster, and I just about had all to do to keep up, and Erwin was asking me something so random? Then again, knowing him, he must have had a reason for it. "I got hit by a car. Why?"

"Where was the site of the most impact?"

Why was I thinking about this? I didn't want to think about myself and how I'd died; I wanted to focus all of my energy in how to keep Levi alive! "Erwin, I-"

"Just answer the question."

It was fortunate that the paramedics were too busy talking amongst themselves in their medical mouths to take note on what was happening on the other end of the stretcher, otherwise I wouldn't have engaged in Erwin's discussion so openly. "My chest," I finally replied. "I got hit in my chest."

"How did you die in life previous to that one?"

His questions were starting to irritate me. I was already at the point where my emotions were overwhelmed, and now Erwin was only proving to stress me out even more. Why did it even matter how I'd died in my human lives? I wasn't human anymore! None of this information was relevant! It had no purpose! It had no...purpose?

Wait.

When I had been hit by that car, my chest had taken the brunt of the force. It was the leading factor that had guided me to my death. In the life prior to that one, I had died at an early age from a rare heart condition. My chest. My chest was the leading factor that had guided me to my death. And when I was a soldier, fighting for the cause of humanity and for the hope of a greater world, I'd lost control and had been ripped from my Titan's nape with my largest injury being impalement through the chest.

My chest had been the leading factor in all of my deaths.

In my dream, I had been holding onto my chest. And in that very same dream, Levi had been holding onto his head. Levi's head. It was a bullet through the brain that had ended Levi's life as the Corporal and had started a new one somewhere undisclosed. That was the cycle of life. For me, it started and ended in my chest.

For Levi, it started and ended in his head.

 

* * *

 

There were lights and numbers and screens of all sort. Doctors in lab coats typed away on their keyboards in a room that was encased by glass windows. A large machine with a spherical shape and a long platform housed Levi's still unconscious body for the time being, and only I had been there to stand by his side. Erwin and Hange had been instructed to sit in the waiting room like the rest of the guests, but because I was an unknown being, I had been able to slip into the scanning room just before the doors had been shut.

Information about Levi's current condition was being tossed around like a volleyball and I regrettably couldn't understand even half of it. The thin glass that separated the two rooms made it hard to hear what they were saying, but it almost sounded like were talking about his brain in a way that made him seem okay. Was it really just a headache after all? Could we go home and do all of the things I'd suggested to Hange? Was he going to be okay?

That's when I heard a noise.

It wasn't an electronic beep or the sound of fingers prattling against keys, but it was the sound of a voice. It was a voice that I'd come to know so well, that I cherished hearing every morning upon waking up, and it was the sound of a voice that gave me all of the hope in the world.

"E...ren..."

"Levi!" I gasped, crouching down by his side and savoring in the sweet sound of his consciousness for all that it was worth - which was everything. Levi, he was my everything, and as his eyes struggled to open, I nearly felt like mine were going to overflow with tears. "Levi, it's me. I'm right here. It's Eren. Can you say something else? Can you say my name again?"

Every other noise became non-existent against the rich tone of his raspy voice. Were the doctors still talking? Probably. If anything, their voices had probably become frantic with the sight of sensory activity on their dashboards, but they weren't who I was focused on. In all of my days, and all of my hours, and all of my minutes, it had only been Levi. Suddenly, time was no longer an obscurity.

And somehow, I wished that it still was. Because of my newfound knowledge of time, I'd been able to count that I'd had Levi's alert recognition for a mere four seconds, before he lost his consciousness once again.

And this time, something told me that I wouldn't be getting him back.

Strangers. Doctors. A sea of white. That was all my eyes could register as I saw Levi's precious body being recklessly placed onto another stretcher. He was rushed out of the room and in a blur of too many words being thrown around at once, I'd been able to pick out the three that gave me the answer I'd been searching for all along.

Ruptured brain aneurysm.

The sea of white soon became a sea of blue and red, and then it was bright. It was too  _bright_. There were lights all around us, hanging from overheard lamps like halos, and it wasn't until the notorious chirp of a heart monitor began to beep that I'd become aware of our surroundings. This was an operating room and Levi was on an operating table.

They were going to operate on him.

There were too many lights and too many sounds filtering into my senses that it made it hard for me to focus. Surgeons were scurrying all around the table with equipment and tools that normally would have made my stomach churn, and the echo of battery-controlled shears made my head spin. Levi was going to hate that they were shaving his head.

But the words. There were just so many words that I couldn't understand. The names of the tools and the language that they used left me in the dark of every little update on Levi's condition. Was he getting better? Was he getting worse? What were they going to do to the inside of his head?

Levi's head. It was the same, delicate curve that I'd stroked every night and cradled with care until the morning. And in our more daring, more intimate moments, it was the same head that had a habit of throwing itself back and howling out its desires for yes. For _more_. Past or present, it was of no concern. In both eras, Levi's head had been sacred beyond all other parts of his anatomy. The head was where the brain was. The brain was where the thoughts were. The memories. The emotions. But the heart. The heart was where the love was. And the heart...

Levi's heart monitor began to pulsate violently.

Speaking and shouting just as rapidly as the sound of that monitor, the surgeons began to frantically work at taming the beast of those beeps. Their words became even more confusing as the added pressure of focus became split between Levi's body and his overactive heart monitor. This had to be a mistake. This had to be a dream. We were still sleeping, right? Levi and I had fallen asleep on the rooftop of that distant building after rolling around in the grass and kissing until our lips felt numb. That had to be it. This was just a horrible nightmare.

And then I heard it. Another word that I could accurately place a definition to.

Hemorrhage. Levi's brain was hemorrhaging.

It was interesting how in a moment like this, my mind took me back to when I'd been reunited with Levi. Back then, there had been a lot of yelling, too, but mostly from Hange. I was so naive, calling him Corporal like he had any idea what I was referring to. Levi had no recollection of the past and calling him an ancient title meant nothing to him. But that didn't change the fact that he and I had created something beautiful again. We'd found love within each other that was both familiar and new altogether. We kissed one another like lovers, and we conversed about nothing like friends. But in the end, our relationship was set by a blessed, but also a cruel fate.

He was a human and I was his guardian angel.

It was cold. All around me, it was as if the temperature in the operating room had dropped by hundreds of degrees. None of the doctors seemed to feel the sudden shift, which only baffled me until it enlightened me.

Death was cold.

Death was cold.

Death was...

"Levi!" I screamed, calling out to him with every emotion and every ounce of force my lungs had within them. I fell to my knees beside his table, panting and wailing for him to respond. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. "Levi! Can you hear me? Levi, you need to wake up! Remember...remember what we said? Remember how we were planning our future together? You have to remember! We were talking about it just a few hours ago!"

My tongue felt tied, as tears began to rush down my face. The reality of everything, it was happening too soon. The concept of time. I wanted to forget it. I wanted to forget. I wanted...

"Levi, please! Please open your eyes! You can't die, you're not supposed to die yet! You're still so young, I don't understand! We're supposed to have so many more years together and...and we're supposed to fall in love! Levi, I love you! You know how much I love you! You were just starting to love me, too, and now...now...Levi, you have to wake up! I'm begging you! Don't go! Please wake up! Please! Levi!"

But he didn't. Levi didn't wake up.

The monotonous hum of a flat-lined heart monitor was etched into the back of my senses. The surgeons had done everything they could, but the cycle of life was far too great of a force to mess with. When your time was up, it was up. No more, but probably less than your first life, your time was tied to the pendulum of a clock. It sways back and forth without you even realizing it, but when that pendulum stops, so does the heart that keeps you alive.

The term the surgeons had used to announce the final stage of Levi's condition made him sound like an old bag of chips. Expired. On January 25th at 11:13PM, Levi had expired.

Levi was dead.

When your life, no, when your entire  _being_  revolves around the protection and the safety of another, it's a strange feeling knowing that that person is no longer a part of this world. There was only one way to describe such a feeling. It was the sense of being lost. My purpose was gone and my goals were shattered. Without Levi, there was nothing left. I had nothing. I  _was_  nothing.

I didn't feel the need to stand. On my knees, my body felt heavy. On my feet, I would only end up toppling over. There was no reason to do such a thing. I was tired. I was so tired. And I was lost.

I was lost.

Where was I?

I was...

"Eren."

I was home.

A flicker of white brought me to attention. In an instant, my body felt lighter than it had in hours and my mind was racing with so much buzz. Why was that? Just now, I'd heard my name. I knew that I'd heard it, but where did it come from? And who...?

"Eren."

Lifting myself onto my feet, I quickly surveyed my surroundings and came up with nothing but the tarnished scenery of the operating room. With the oh, so familiar sound of my name still bouncing off of the walls, I couldn't curb the temptation to answer to the call with a response of my own. "Yes?"

And that was it. After my name had been called for the third and final time, my eyes had come into contact with the source of the sound.

Looking up into the overhead lights that still shined their glory onto the operating table, I was able to make out the faint figure of a soul-like silhouette staring down at me with a look of muted concern. The figure was unmoving, but at the same time, so was I. I  _knew_  that voice, and I  _knew_  that face. How could I not after all of the nights I'd fallen asleep to it? After all of the mornings where it was the first thing I heard and saw? That was... It was Levi's...

Like the flame of a candle, the figure was gone...and with it, so was my consciousness.

 

* * *

 

It was dark. I couldn't see anything, but then again, maybe it was because my eyes weren't open. Did I even dare? What if what I saw wasn't something that I wanted to see. At least it was warm. Was this Heaven? If so, Heaven was very warm. But why was my head itchy? And why did it feel like there was sand in my mouth?

Why was the only sound other than my many thoughts the sound of something...cracking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> I...don't have very much to say about this chapter. I have a feeling that most of you saw it coming, but it still leaves you on kind of a somber note, huh? And that's why there's a lovely little cliffhanger to mess with you even more! 
> 
> I'm sorry if it seems like this chapter is up later than usual, but it's because I've been having major internet problems today. Long story short, after many hours of being on the phone with tech support and the purchase of a new router, we got it to work again! Still, the thought of not being able to post this chapter on time stressed me out so much, so I really hope that it was a chapter worth the wait. (:
> 
> So much rambling, it's time to cut this short! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> And as always, thank you for taking the time to read!
> 
> \- Chappy


	34. Feathers and Follies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feathers. Feathers and follies. We were the fools for not paying attention, and the idiots for not making the connection.

No one quite understands how it feels to die until it starts happening. The illusion of death seems so far off in one's conscious mind that there will be days when a human being will think about nothing other than what it feels like to be alive. I had been one of those humans.

Eren was the one who made me feel comfortable and genuinely happy with the day-to-day routine of living that death never really crossed any of my thoughts. In reality, all I ever thought about was what it was like to hold someone's hand, how it felt to be surrounded in another's warm, oh, so warm arms, and how sensual it was to have his soft and delicate lips on mine.

I thought about the past, I thought about the present, and I thought about the future,  _our_  future, but death was just one of those things that I never really paid any attention to until it actually started happening.

And it happened  _fast_.

It was in a time like that one, when my feet refused to support my balance and my brain fell out of consciousness, where I could vaguely remember the words that I had said to Eren after his good friend Armin had been brutally stabbed, meeting his to be expected death.  _Life happens fast. Sometimes death happens faster. Don't people always say that we just have to be grateful for the time we have to live?_ Those words had been comforting to Eren in his time of need, but when they began to make sense and take over the only knowledge I'd ever had, it was...scary.

I'd only ever known what it felt like to be alive, and all of the emotions and circumstances that came with living, but now I knew what it felt like to die, too.

The memory was foggy, but I had a distinct recollection of seeing white. There had always been that silly cliche where, when you were about to die, you would see a vision of white before passing on. Maybe even an angel. The ironic thing was that I had briefly seen both of those things, and yet I knew that I wasn't dead yet. The "white" had been coming from the bright lights and plain walls of whatever the Hell room I had been in, and the angel? It had been...

I remembered hearing Eren calling out to me, sounding more than ecstatic to see my eyes flutter and to hear my voice having difficulty with the simple syllables of his name. I remembered feeling obligated to open my eyes to their fullest and to give him more of what he wished for. I remembered the sleepiness and the confusion. I remembered the white.

I remembered my death.

After my heart stopped beating and my brain lost its function, it was almost surreal how it felt like my soul was being ripped from the only vessel it had ever known, only to see the loss of its host for itself. There was more white and there was definitely more confusion, but there was something else. There was...

_Eren_.

His tears were horrendously, and he was screaming to the Heavens for a different outcome, but there was no alternative option. For someone who had experience death numerous times in his previous lives, he should have known that better than anyone. What had he called it again? There was something about it being a circle? No, a  _cycle_. The cycle of life. And evidently, my cycle had merely met its end.

Yet why was it that, even after death, I still felt so alive?

I felt light and free, fluid and  _strong_. My pain was gone and my thoughts were clearer than they had been in what could have been forever. Then again, why wouldn't they be clear? All I could think about was Eren. His smile, his laugh, his warmth, and his wings. His heart, his head, his sensuality, and his innocence. My mind was in a thousand places, but it all lead back to a single source.

Eren.

Eren.

_Eren_.

There was warmth in his existence, and it was a warmth that pooled around my limbs and comforted me in my most vital areas. I felt him against my neck, stirring my pulse and leaving me with a mark of ownership. I felt him around my waist, holding me tightly and stroking my skin with heated desire. But most of all, I felt him in my heart. I felt the organ pumping life throughout my veins, and spreading awareness into my senses.  _Awareness_. This wasn't Eren, and his hands weren't what was keeping me warm. This was...different.

Where  _was_  I?

It was dark, and a sort of "liquid" substance was preventing me from opening my eyes. I couldn't see or smell, but I could definitely  _feel_. I could feel the warmth that was blanketing me, and I could feel the fatigue that was coaxing me back into sleep, but there was something else that was keeping me awake and keeping my awareness sharp. And it was that  _something_  that had me stretching my arms and my legs, fighting for an answer. Fighting for my sight. Fighting for a way  _out_.

My sense of awareness had reached its peak to the point of realization. I wasn't within a womb or a coffin, but I was clearly inside of  _something_. Too many somethings and not enough answers. I needed a definite and I needed it now.

I rammed my right hand against a wall that felt smooth and lubricated, but it also felt fragile and weak. The impact from my fist had caused the simple fortress to crack under the pressure, and with another swift blow, it shattered.

In all of my honesty, I had no idea why my body was reacting in such a hostile way. This sanctuary had been nothing but kind and docile, and I was treating it like a cage that I needed to be freed from. Soon enough, my left hand had whipped around my side and had smashed the back of said sanctuary, causing another small portion of the dome to cave in. And then, what happened next would remain a mystery to me until further recognition was understood. All I could remember was that something - another something to add to my list of somethings - had spread wide and had expanded my boundaries, forcing my containment into freedom, a freedom that I was instantly starting to regret.

The warmth was replaced with a chill that washed over my body and reduced me into a fit of shivers. I felt tired and wet, like I'd just taken a bath in lukewarm milk. Basically, I felt downright  _disgusting_ , but at least one good thing had come out of my sudden efforts.

I could finally open my eyes.

Pale light filtered through my eyelids, as they parted to reveal my surroundings...which wasn't much of anything, really. Plains of white, grain-like grounds seemed to stretch pn for miles, and that was...it. Where  _was_  I? Was this Heaven?  _Hell_? It didn't matter which one, I just wanted to know where and why. Why? Why was I...alone?

"Levi...?"

Scratch that. Negate it. Throw it out the window.

There was someone here, there was someone  _with_  me, and my every instinct was telling me exactly who it was.

Before I could even turn my head toward the direction of where I'd heard my name, I felt something brush against my arm before immediately retracting itself. Again with the somethings. At least this time I knew what this  _something_  was. It was fingers, shy ones at that. Before long, I felt them on my face, and it was that single gesture that had me encompassed by the warmth that I'd thought I'd lost forever. Only one set of fingers could do that to me. It had to be...

"Er-nng!" Those fingers quickly became arms, and before I knew it, my body was being sent backward. The force hadn't been enough to bring me to the ground, but it had done a great measure in surprising me. I hadn't even been able to see his face, before Eren was touching me and hugging me and pampering me with kisses up and down my neck. All of his loving affections were wonderful and welcomed whole-heartedly, but now probably wasn't the best time to be doing any of that stuff. I was still...yeah. I was still covered in some pretty gross stuff.

Oh, but Eren didn't seem to mind the goo one bit. His hands were still coasting down my arms and cruising up my chest. From what I could tell, he had every intention to memorize me, and every desire to dedicate himself to me. But who was I kidding? Eren had been dedicated to me the second our paths had crossed, when he became my guardian angel and I became his guarded human.

Wait, how did I even  _remember_  all of this? My past life with Eren...I  _remembered_ it.

I remembered the way we would fall asleep at night, how he'd allow me to curl against his wings and enjoy the sweet satisfaction of knowing that I was safe, and I remembered how waking up in the morning would feel the very same way. I remembered what I most recently had for dinner, and I remembered what I bought him for Christmas. I remembered how we'd had our first kiss because  _I_ had been the one to initiate it, and I remembered the adorably erotic sounds he would make whenever my lips strayed to the nape of his neck. I remembered everything, every little detail and every little instance. My biggest fear of my previous life had been to forget, but it was a fear that no longer held any value. I  _didn't_  forget. I didn't  _forget_...

I didn't forget Eren.

Maybe I was too busy being lost in my own thoughts, or maybe I was enjoying Eren's massaging hands on my aching (aching?) shoulders a bit too much, but I hadn't even officially said a single sentence to him yet, let alone a complete word. Luckily for me, Eren's eager actions had calmed down enough for him to refocus on recapturing my attention. With feather-soft lips that tickled my ear as they whispered, Eren pleaded with me to give him the response that I more than knew he was looking for. "Levi... Please tell me that you remember who I am."

I wasn't cruel enough to toy with his emotions and pretend that our past life together had been a non-existent memory of mine, so with a slow nod, one that nudged the side of my head against his in a nature that was almost animalistic, I whispered in return the words that had him holding his breath in anticipation.

"Yes, Eren. I remember who you are. You're my guardian angel, and I'm your guarded human. I haven't forgotten a single thing."

The acknowledgement of my "wetness" began to resurface, but this time, it wasn't because of the strange substance that covered my body. This feeling had come on by a foreign entity, yes, but it was a feeling that was regrettably familiar. Tears were dripping onto my shoulder, and they were rolling down the length of my chest. In a moment of weakness, Eren had propped his head against my neck, sobbing out his gratitude and releasing all of his pent up frustrations and worries.

His hands had taken to my back this time, and in a sloppy attempt of a hug, he was touching and caressing all of the places that were known to him. He started with my hair, taking it slow as his fingers played with the sharp texture of my undercut. Next was my nape, an area that wasn't nearly as sensitive as it was on him. And finally, his hands had ventured down to my shoulder blades. There, they swirled in circles and painted patterns against my dampened skin. Ah, how grateful was I that he was so tactile.

In the midst of his fading tears, Eren had mustered up enough control over his voice to admit what I'm sure he couldn't have been happier to say."I'm just so glad that you're okay, Levi... When you died, and I know this is silly of me, I was so scared that I had lost you forever, and I didn't know what I would do without...huh?"

Huh? Why had he stopped? His hands were like a magic to me, but clearly something had derailed him from his train of thought. Again with the somethings. Would they ever end?

"Eren, what is it?" I made sure to keep my voice just as low as the tone he had chosen to use. There was no way that I was going to ruin the peaceful mood of rejoicing in our reunion that we had set for each other. "Why did you stop talking?"

I felt like a fool for not noticing sooner, but then again, Eren must have been just as much. His hands had fed their way into a territory of unknown, slick with mucus and heavy in weight. He'd done little other than provide me with his warm touch, however, it was that very simple sense of stimulation that sent two large mysteries bursting into expansion, shedding spots of darkened color against our sight. Feathers. Feathers and follies. We were the fools for not paying attention, and the idiots for not making the connection.

Those feathers, they have been  _mine_ , and on my back was a set of large, ebony wings.

Still guarded, but no longer human, I couldn't believe it. I was a guarded  _angel_.

 

* * *

 

A sound from above caused the both of our heads to jerk up. More feathers, but neither of our own, showered us in their glory as two not-so-familiar faces flapped their way into a graceful landing. Although, judging from Eren's reaction to them, I had a feeling that he knew these two quite well. And for whatever reason, their eyes had widened when they caught sight of me. Did they know me, too?

"Historia! Jean!" Historia. I remembered that name...and Jean rung a bell, too. Weren't those the names of Eren's caretaker angels when he had been reborn? So, these two? These had been them? Why was it that Historia's name was also a part of my more recent memory, as opposed to Jean's?

Oh, yeah. "Historia" had been the name of that mournful ghost's lover.

It flattered me to know that, even with the excitement of seeing his caretakers, Eren made no move to distance himself from me. In fact, I'm pretty sure his arms began to tighten protectively as two sets of feet began to walk closer. Was it out of a force of habit? Probably, but that didn't make it any less endearing.

"Eren, it's...it's such a surprise to see you!" Historia all but gasped. I watched as her eyes as they flickered back and forth between Eren, then me, then back to Eren. Oh, they were back on me again. "And Levi..."

" _Huh_?" Jean nearly scoffed. "Historia, did you just say Levi? As in  _Lance Corporal Levi_? There's no what that could be...well, I'll be damned. It  _is_  him!"

Hearing two different conversations at once was driving my mind into overload. I wanted to speak up, but I couldn't fit two words in without having another question tossed in my direction. Are you really the Corporal? Do you still remember the world of the Titans? I think he does! Do you remember who we are? I don't think he does. Do you remember who Eren is? Do you remember? Do you remember? Do you _remember_?

"Guys, that's  _enough_ ," Eren intervened, shining his two cents worth on the situation. I couldn't get a good look of his face, but from the way in which he'd hissed out his command, it was obvious that he meant business. "If you ask him too many questions at once, you're not going to get a direct answer, so  _slow down_." When eyes had returned to mine, he was full of smiles and gentle features, a drastic switch from the snarl I'm sure he must have been giving Historia and Jean just a second ago. "Take your time, too, okay? Just answer what you can, and don't feel obligated to speak any more than you have to."

I found solitude in Eren's comforting encouragement, and it was with a boost of confidence that I unraveled myself from his hold and made an effort to regain my balance enough to stand tall (shut up). There was an analogy that came to mind, the moment I had made it to my feet. With Eren scampering to get up after I'd done so myself, I couldn't help but view him as a little puppy that had been trained to follow the motions of his master. It was adorable, really, so much so that it almost made me forget what I'd wanted to say.

Oh, yeah. Here we go.

Taking in a deep breath, and exhaling one just as grand, I looked to the two angels that would be on the receiving end on my memories and gave them the answers that they were looking for. "I don't remember either of you. Actually, that's a bit of a lie. I remember hearing about you from Eren a few times. You were his caretaker angels when he was reborn as an angel himself, am I right?" They nodded. I pointed at Historia. "I remember you a little bit more than I remember him, though, and by that I mean that I remember your name more. I remember hearing it from..." I stopped right there. Historia's expression became somber, and it was evident and that she didn't want to hear what I had to say next about her past life lover. Fair enough. It had been a bad memory for me, too. "...Yeah. Anyway, I don't remember these Titans that you're talking about, but I  _do_ remember Eren...as my guardian angel. I remember when he'd first found me, and when he began to tell me about his purpose and his goal of protecting me. But my memories go back further than that. I remember my family, how we'd moved from Toronto to Massachusetts, and how my parents ended up getting divorced just a few months later. Basically, I know that I've been reincarnated multiple times because of what Eren has told me, but I only remember everything from my most recent life on Earth. My second life with Eren."

Historia and Jean had been sharing glances with one another while I gave my speech, and Eren had placed one of his hands against my lower back for support. It felt good to translate all of my thoughts into words, and hopefully now that Eren's caretakers knew a lot more about me and about how far my remembrance dated back to, they'd be able to give me guidance and help me to understand why this had happened to me, why I'd become an angel, and most importantly, why I still retained my memories from my most previous life, even though Eren and I had been so certain that I wouldn't.

"It's good to know that you understand your memories from your last life as a human," Historia said, with a smile, "because that's exactly what's supposed to happen. Jean and I will give you more details about that in a little bit, but first...let's get you cleaned up and get some garments on you."

No wonder I had been so cold before Eren had taken me into his arms: I was naked. It kind of made sense, though. I mean, no one is ever born or reborn with clothes on. Humans, animals, even angels.

Needless to say, it was an awkward period having my body brushed down from the back with Historia's cleansing hands, while Eren took to the front. No two pairs of angel hands were alike, it would seem, for Eren didn't hold the same skills as Historia. He ultimately had to strip himself of his sweatshirt turned shirt in order to wipe down my torso, arms, the front of my legs, and my feet. Thankfully, he saved my face for last, which he gently dabbed with his warm fingers, before wiping what had come off onto his (my) jeans. "Feeling a bit better now?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I am. I still don't really know how to feel about...these, though." Knowing that _they_  were the ones being addressed, Historia had to jump out of the way as my newly discovered wings opened wide and flapped backward. Because of her job well done on preening them, my feathers felt so much lighter and just about ten times easier to lift and maneuver.

"It's confusing at first, believe me. Especially when being a human is all you've ever known... I'm still new at this, too. If it weren't for my ever-present desire to protect you, I'd probably forget that I'm actually an angel myself. And about that..."

"Eren, don't." I didn't want to hear him say it, because from his shift body language, I'd been able to determine which path his mind was starting to travel down. If he was going to blame himself for not being able to save me from my death, again, I just didn't want to hear it. "Do you remember our discussion about not dwelling over things of the past?"

"Yeah, but-"

I refused to let him continue his thought. "I'm applying that to the topic of how I died. I don't want to think about it, and I don't want you to get yourself all worked up over it, either." Maybe it was because I wasn't a guardian angel that I didn't understand why blaming himself over everything little thing that went wrong with me was his default. That sort of thing, it was going to have to stop. I was alive, he was alive, and we were together. For the moment, nothing else mattered.

Except having some clothes. That sort of mattered.

Jean had been the one in charge of fetching us some new garments - the plural because Eren had ruined his clothes getting all of the gross goop off of my body - and when he'd returned with two, very angel-looking robes for the both of us to wear, he mentioned, "The seamstresses were pretty surprised when I asked them to find me a robe for both an angel and an archangel. It would have taken them less time, if they hadn't had to manually sew in the golden embroidery on your get-up, Eren. Here."

That...didn't make any sense, and one look at Eren's face expressively told me that he was in the dark on the matter just as much as I was.

"I...what?" he questioned confusedly. "Archangel...?"

"Come on, don't tell me that you haven't noticed them by now."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Jean..."

The mild irritation within Eren's voice had me giving him a quick once over to determine if there really was a difference about him. It prided me to know that he still wore his key, as well as the scarf that Mikasa had gifted him with, but it wasn't until my eyes had swept over his scalp that I'd noted what Jean had been referring to.

"Your Roman leaves, Eren," Jean sighed. "Then again, I guess most people just call them 'halos' or something corny like that. Doesn't your head feel itchy? It usually feels itchy for the first couple of days, then you hardly even know that they're there. Or maybe you've gotten used them already, I don't even know!"

With no mirrors or reflective devices in such a desolate land, Eren was left with no choice other than to reach up and feel around his head for himself. I held my suspicions that, because Jean had told Eren about the presence of his halo, all of a sudden he felt the need to give his leaves a small itching.

It was seriously ironic how now even  _Eren_  had questions about himself that needed answering. I'd have my turn soon enough, but as of now, I was all too curious as to why his rank had been boosted in just under three months of being an angel, as well.

"I'm still a guardian angel, though, right?" He sounded panicked. "I mean, I still have all of these strong urges to be by Levi's side and to protect him with all of my being, I-"

"Whoa, calm down, Eren," Jean interrupted. "Yeah, yeah, you're obviously still a guardian, but to be honest, I don't even know  _why_  you've been graced. Tch." Sounds like someone was jealous. "It took Marco five years to get graced, and it took me eight! I just don't understand why Eren would be graced already. He's not even a year old!"

"Don't be a hothead, Jean," Historia breathed. "Angels are graced at all different stages of their life and for many different reasons, you know that. Eren's time with a human form of Levi may have been short, but from the very little that I know about their relationship, I know that he was very good to his guarded human. It actually doesn't surprise me at all that he's already been graced."

"So..." Eren spoke up again, trying to wipe the praised blush off of his cheeks, "...if I'm a guardian archangel, and Levi is an angel, what does that mean?"

"It means nothing, Eren," Historia responded reassuringly. "You're not the first guardian angel who will continue to protect their guarded one into the life of being an angel. Actually, it's when most guardian angels and guarded humans meet one another for the very first time. It's usually a very special affair for both angels as they finally introduce themselves and continue to bond, but seeing as you and Levi already have a special bond with one another, knowing that you'll be able to protect him forever and ever must be a very comforting feeling! That and...your ability to protect another, as well. But we'll talk more about that later." With the subtle pause placed in between Historia's sentences, I had a feeling that the topic was turning over to me. "For now, let's address your memories, Levi." Yup. I was right.

Jean was in the middle of helping Eren with his new attire, as Historia and I fully engaged ourselves in our conversation...which actually turned out to be pretty interesting. "You wanted to know why you still have the memories from your past life, even though you've never retained memories of your lives prior to this point?"

She'd hit it right on the mark. I nodded.

"Well, the answer is fairly simple, so I'll try to keep it as brief as possible, alright?" I nodded again. "Okay, by now you've probably noticed that your wings are black, right? I want to let you know that it's not just for show, and it's certainly not so that your feathers match your hair follicles. Black wings are a symbol of repressed memories. They signify your lack of knowledge about all of your lifetimes except for your last. Leading you to the point of all of this, all humans that have been reincarnated multiple times and have never held any memories of their previous lives are blessed with the acknowledgement of their last life on Earth. Whether they become an angel, or go to Heaven, Hell, or purgatory, the soul will remember the only life that it's ever known or remembered to know. This 'trait' is lovely for everyone that takes part in the afterlife, but is especially useful for us angels because it helps us to better relate with humans if we can remember what it was like to be a human ourselves. Most of our work is surrounded by the involvement and the contact with human beings or newborn angels that only understand what it's like to  _be_  human, so it gives us that added empathy factor to encourage us to be more nurturing and caring."

Everything that Historia had just explained made so much sense that it was almost scary. It was no wonder why angels were always portrayed as gentle and considerate entities from high above. It wasn't because they were created to be that way; it was because they could  _relate_ to what it was like to be a human themselves. No matter if your memories contained all of your lifetimes, or just the last one, being able to sympathize with the humans of the same generation was a brilliant blessing that only a mastermind could create.

Truthfully, being an angel seemed complicated, but at the same time, all of it made sense. Everything and everyone were tied together by small, communicative threads. They were what made the world turn and the stars orbit. They were what began and what finalized the cycle of life, sending thousands of souls to their next destined location. And they were what brought Eren and I together. By some tangled, twisted ribbon of fate, we had been able to find each other again; and although things could have turned out better, in a way where I'd possessed the memories of a world where he called me Corporal and I called him cadet, I wouldn't have changed anything about us. He was Eren, the overly considerate, overly protective guardian angel that I'd started to fall in love with, and I was Levi, the former hair stylist and make-up artist that had been randomly and unexpectedly selected to receive the greatest gift in the entire world.

 

* * *

 

With our angelic garb covering our bodies and tied around our waists, further explanations ensued about how Jean would be my flight instructor after Eren and I got some rest, to which Eren protested that he would probably be a better teacher than Jean ever could. The quarrel was pretty entertaining to watch, especially when Eren ended up getting so angry that he'd swept himself into flight. At that point, Historia stepped in and tried to calm the both of them down.

"You two need to stop arguing right now," she said, stamping her foot. "You can  _both_  be his teacher, okay? But really, I don't even think that he's going to need one. He's already able to open and close his wings with such ease, flying will probably come naturally to him."

While Eren and Jean cooled themselves down, Historia explained to me that although flying may come easily, my destined "occupation" might take some more time. "Eren didn't realize that he was destined to become a guardian angel until three days after he was born. Granted he was sleeping for most of that time, just don't feel discouraged if your revelation takes a bit longer. It's different for everyone."

I took her words with a nod and with an expression of gratitude. I liked Historia a lot more than I liked this Jean guy, and if their argument had been any indication of their feelings of one another, it wasn't difficult to determine that Eren and I had been on the same page.

With so many things happening at once and so much newly acquired information to take in, I wasn't at all shocked by my overwhelming sense of exhaustion. Jean had been right about one thing, at least, and it was that Eren and I needed to get some sleep.

Historia and Jean promised to give us our privacy as they took flight, more than likely venturing off to go and help another newborn angel like me. With both caretakers gone, it wasn't a minute later that I'd felt Eren's hands secretly snaking their way around my waist, only to pull me into him and into  _our_  wings as we fell to the sandy ground beneath us.

Our heartbeats were in sync, and whether or not that was a coincidence would remain unsolved. All I wanted to focus on was how  _good_  it felt to have our bodies, bodies of the same  _species_ , flush up against one another in a comfortable and cozy way of drifting off to sleep. But not without a few words to each other, first.

Naturally, Eren was the one to start us off.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself."

His hands rested themselves against the small of my back, while mine found their way to his chest - more specifically, his key.

"Today has been..."

"Yeah, it has."

"And tomorrow, we'll still be...?"

"Mhm."

"Good."

And after all of the hardships that Eren and I had faced, all of the turbulences that we'd been forced to endure, we deserved to have a little  _good_  in our lives.

But it wouldn't have been familiar to us if the good lasted for too long.

I couldn't remember when Eren and I had fallen asleep and for how long, but all I knew was that I was wide awake and I was shaking him into his consciousness. He needed to wake up, he needed to wake up, he needed to  _wake up_.

"Levi..?" Eren spoke drowsily, after I'd finally gotten him to stir. He was dazed and baffled by why my actions had been so urgent. But really, he should have known better than anyone why I was reacting in the way that I was. Did he even have to ask? "Levi, what's going on?" Apparently so.

Halting my hands and resting them on either side of Eren's head, I felt an uncomfortable itch that was like none other starting to spread throughout my body. My wings were lively and alert, and my heart felt like it was going to beat itself out of my chest. I was confused, but I was focused. I was determined, but I was terrified. There was only one way to describe what my mind and my body were going through, and it all started with the simple source of a need. The need to  _protect_.

"Eren, get up. We need to find her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> Wow, it's so surreal for me to be saying this, but guess what, everyone? This is it! The next chapter of this story will be the very last chapter of "Feathers and Follies". But wait, there's more! (:
> 
> Technically, it's going to feel like two chapters, because after the next chapter is published, same as scheduled, an epilogue will be published the following week! Two more weeks, everyone! Just two more weeks!
> 
> I going to save my thanks and my all of my gratitude for next week, when it feels more sentimental, but I really just need to mention how wonderful you all are and how thrilled I am with the following that this story has taken on. Honestly, I can't thank you enough for your comments and your kind words, because they always bring a smile to my face!
> 
> On the flip side, I hope you were able to enjoy another chapter from Levi's POV! It was a blast to write, so I hope that you've all liked it!
> 
> And as always, thank you for taking the time to read! I really appreciate it! (:
> 
> \- Chappy


	35. Guardian Archangel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is full of unexpected occurrences.

I hadn't realized how tired I had actually been, until I was being forcefully awoken. I didn't blame myself for my fatigue; in fact, giving a little bit of credit seemed like the more appropriate option. Within the past twenty-four hours (wait, had it been longer than that? Maybe it was less?), I'd been on the most wonderful, albeit simple, date with the man that I loved, I'd watched his life come to an end just a few, short hours later, and I'd watched him being reborn into a world and into a body that couldn't have felt more familiar. Physically, I could probably fly around in circles for miles and miles, but mentally and emotionally, I was nothing short of exhausted.

"Mmn, Levi..." I groaned, and oh, how the tables had turned. I couldn't even count on my fingers and my toes just how much of a "battle" it was trying to wake Levi up in the mornings - well, afternoons. Now,  _I_ was the one giving him trouble, and although the form of payback wasn't intentional, it was impossible not to see the hilarity in it. "What is it? What are...what are you talking about?"

Feeling his warmth departing as he slipped out of my loose grasp, my sense of awareness was immediately jogged and I was awake. When I sat up, I looked over at Levi just in time to notice that something was off about him and I had a feeling that I knew exactly what it was. His breathing was irregular, and his newborn wings refused to remain still. His porcelain skin had been tainted with splotches of red from where he had been scratching, and his eyes were wide and seemed to have trouble focusing on one thing at a time. These were the sorts of symptoms that I understood. Unlike human symptoms to human ailments, I could diagnose the cause of these reactions, because they were some of the very same things that I'd been through myself. These weren't just any kind of restless motions; these were the motions of desire, of need, and of unsettlement.

This was Levi's sign that he, too, was a guardian angel.

Using the gust from my wings as a boost, I was able to bring myself to my feet and slowly make my way over to where Levi was frantically starting to pace. I knew the exact amount of uneasiness he was going through from personal experience, but seeing him in such a scattered state of mind didn't make it any less difficult to watch. "Levi, hey," I said, prompting him gently with a stroke of my hand. "What's the matter? Tell me what's wrong." As if I didn't already know. It was Levi who was the one who wasn't completely comprehending his own actions.

Using his hands and his wings as his initial method of communication, it wasn't until words began to form on his tongue that he decided to use them. "Eren, I really can't explain what's happening, but I just...we need to find her."

 _Her_. His guarded human must have been female. It's strange how one of the first and only things that a guardian angel can sense about their human is their sex, the next being their location. Other than that, everything else is a learning game. But I was lucky. In my case, there was very little that I needed to learn about Levi. I'd known nearly everything about him in our first life together, and in our second, it was all about finding a way to adapt to the minor changes in him. His age, his occupation, his contemporary personality...his lack of memories. But like I said, I adapted, and in the end, I felt as if I'd come to know more about Levi than I ever had before.

I took the hand that I'd used to comfort him and placed it on the side of his face. Smoothing soft circles into his cheek, my opposing hand met his shoulder and squeezed him sincerely. Being the one to explain to him what was happening was going to feel really different, but it was probably better for him to hear it from me than from either Historia or Jean. No offense to them in the slightest, it was merely the fact that Levi had a better chance of responding in a more level-headed manner with me than he did with them. "Look, Levi..." I began slowly, trying to reduce the urgency of the situation because, chances are, his guarded human was most likely in no danger whatsoever. "I know you must be really confused right now, but you don't have to worry like this. We  _will_  find her, okay? We will."

Next came the tricky part: telling Levi that he was going to have to wait. In all accounts of my life as a guardian angel, I could count myself as being fairly fortunate. I'd learned how to fly with only minor complications, I'd been able to find my guarded human with somewhat ease, and most of all, said guarded human turned out to be the only person that I'd ever even considered offering my heart to. In the terms of my being, I never really had to deal with the frustrations of having to wait. But Levi, did he even  _know_  where his guarded human was? Even so, he didn't even know how to fly yet.

Giving his shoulder another squeeze, I assured Levi once again that we would indeed find his guarded human before laying on the harsh reality of his scenario. "It must be clear to you, right? That you're not just any ordinary angel anymore, but a  _guardian_  angel. However, for right now, you're just going to have to trust me that whoever it is that you're destined to protect, I'm sure that she's safe. The thing is...you're not ready yet, Levi. Your mind may be telling you all of these different about how you need to be by her side at this very moment, but as  _your_ guardian angel and as someone who's obviously had to deal with these same exact feelings before, I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can't go to her yet. Not before Jean and Historia show us the door, and definitely not before you learn how to fly."

I half-expected Levi to lash out at me for telling him something so unfavorable, but I was pleasantly surprised by his compliance. If it had been me, you best believe that I would have acted like a brat in order to get my way. Actually, now that I think about it, I probably  _did_  react in that sort of way. Still, what I got instead of a verbal assault was a head that was slumped gently against my shoulder and a set tender lips that were pointed up toward my ear. "Teach me," Levi whispered softly. "Teach me how, Eren."

And how could I say no to that? I had been the one who'd wanted to teach Levi how to fly from the start, and now that he was openly asking me for my help, I couldn't have been more submissive to him even if I had tried. "Of course." The breathlessness of my response had led my lips to the side of Levi's forehead, where they carefully left their mark against his temple. "Of course I'll teach you. And I know I'm saying this two or three times now, but we  _will_  find her. That's my promise to you. Just give yourself some time to calm down first."

And what better way to release some of that nervous tension than by performing one of the most freeing and liberating acts that an angel can possibly learn?

Such a thought brought me back to when I had taken flight for the first time myself, how sloppy my wing-work had been, but how full of energy and life my body had felt. Honestly, I was a bit envious of Levi. There is nothing quite like an angel's first flight, and for him to be able to finally experience it for himself was truly something covetable. But really, my feelings of jealousy only lasted for about two seconds, because in the end, I would be right there with him to undergo that ecstatic sensation all over again.

I was reluctant to pull my lips away from Levi's forehead, and somehow, he seemed hesitant to remove himself from my shoulder, but when we allowed ourselves to create some space between us, I immediately took to treating his shoulders and his upper arms with more of those comforting strokes and rubs.

It was in the midst of my massage that I'd caught sight of a faint breath of air ghost its way past Levi's lips, as his head tipped backward and his eyelids slipped shut. At least one thing was for certain, and it was that I'd successfully reached my goal of settling him down and showing him that our situation was one that wasn't dire. Everything would be okay, and everything would be fine. We would would find her, but not right now.

After finally prying ourselves away from each other, I fixed the new folds of my celestial garments and subtly scratched at the Roman leaves that adorned my hair. The follow-up of those motions had been a simple instruction, one that gently guided Levi into a position where his back - namely his wings - were facing me and where I had complete control of his actions. Okay, maybe not  _complete_  control, because just seconds after I had Levi's feathers flapping in my hands, he'd propelled the entirety of his weight back toward my chest, and in a heap of black and white, we were on the sandy grounds that had been beneath our feet just moments ago.

At first, both he and I were too stunned by what had just happened to even move, but when the shock of the occurrence began to fade, so did our uptight composure. With a snort on my part being our stimulator, we were both giggling and laughing like middle school students within seconds.

Catching my breath proved to be harder than expected, but when I had a good amount of that delicious blend of oxygen in my lungs, I was able to admit, "Oh, my God.  _Levi_..." I was still snickering. "Do you even realize that this same exact thing happened to  _me_ , when I first tried to get my wings into flight too?"

"What, really?" he scoffed. "Actually, never mind. I can believe that."

Rolling my eyes, I made my weakest attempt at shoving Levi off of me to date, only to have him cackle even more at my pathetic excuse for strength. "Really? That's all you've got?"

It was his playful taunt that had me groaning, "Oh, hush," before we rolled over onto our opposite sides and scrapped ourselves back up and onto our feet. Fixing my folds beforehand didn't seem to matter anymore, because my hands had already begun rearranging and reorganizing the look of my garb. This time, however, I wasn't the only one effected by the fashion faux pas; even Levi seemed a bit displeased with out disheveled his own outfit had become.

"Okay," I sighed, after we both took that minute to recollect ourselves, "let's do that better this time. You clearly know how much strength your wings have now, and next is all about applying that strength in a way that will allow you to ascend into the great skies above. After that, of course, comes the balance and the momentum. For me, I had a little bit of difficulty with my balance thanks to the unevenness of my wings, but for you..."

I stopped mid-sentence. This was the first time where I actually got to have a really good  _look_  at Levi's wings, and I had to say, I  _really_  liked what I saw. The structure of his wings were broad and sturdy, giving him that sense of strength (the very same strength that had been displayed to us ever so graciously about a minute ago), and his feathers bore the beauty of boasting an eloquent shade of black. Although the color of his quills served a purpose, that didn't make them any less alluring, and as my eyes continued to sweep over their majesty, I came to a conclusion that had me biting at the corner of my lip.

As a human, Levi had been aesthetically easy on the eyes and undeniably attractive, but in the body of an angel, I found my attraction to him being boosted up level by level to a pillar that made him entirely irresistible.

With my head in the clouds and my mind not where it should have been, it took me three seconds more than it should have to realize that I was no longer standing in the company of another. With a frantic jerk of my head that could have quite possibly ended up giving me whiplash, it was a calling voice that had redirected my attention toward the very same place where my head had gone: the clouds.

"Hey, are you going to teach me more, or what?"

Only one word felt proper enough to describe the masterpiece that my eyes had been blessed with witnessing. Flawless. From the tips of his feathers to the ends of his toes, Levi was  _flawless_.

Just as Historia had predicted, flying came naturally to him. The air that surrounded his wings served as the blanket that kept him afloat, and his arms were folded in a manner that suggested his confidence and his pride. Seeing him like that had me feeling drawn to him in a way that I couldn't even explain, so much so that my own wings had unknowingly lifted me off of the ground and into a hover. "Look at me," was what his demeanor had read, but "come and catch me," was what his eyes had said.

And it was a silent request that I instantly complied to.

Coasting my way into full flight, I was quick to adapt to the playful nature that Levi and I had taken up with one another. It had me flying circles around him, twisting and twirling my body in an effort to entice him. I was hopeful that, by now, Levi would realize that my methods of teaching weren't just your average, textbook instruction; I was a demonstrator.

Forcing him to turn his gaze to the left, then to the right, I skillfully dipped beneath his feet before popping right back up in front of him. Truth be told, I had absolutely no idea where my own sense of confidence had come from, but as my head cocked to the side and my shoulders rolled back with an aura of ease, I somehow managed to sound one-hundred percent certain of myself in every way possible, as I said, "Alright, then. Let the lesson begin."

 

* * *

 

My main goal from the start of his flight training had been to get Levi to distract himself from his burning desire to be by the side of his guarded human. I knew what that insatiable need felt like, and I knew how much of an emergency it made everything feel, but I also knew that there were certain things that Levi needed to prepare himself with before he was ready to meet the human that he and I would be spending the rest of our lives with, and flying was one of them.

It was a good thing that I was such a wonderful teacher.

Any other angel would have assumed that Levi had been flying for years, with the way that we spiraled and spun in parallels and perpendiculars with accurate precision. If he went left, I went right, and after cruising around the perimeter of the invisible sphere that our flight patterns had formed, we met in the middle, both winded and in need of a break.

The reality of everything, everything that Levi and I had been through, felt like a weight against my wings, and in that moment, I had every intention to just ease myself forward those few inches that kept us apart, to place my lips on the ones that had claimed mine from the very start. We were alive - spiritually, mentally, and physically - and there was nothing that could change that. All these years, in all of these lives of searching and waiting, the red string of fate had been a cruel one. Maybe it made me selfish for thinking of such a thing, or maybe it made me sane, but it was about damn time that I got what I deserved. And not just me, but Levi, as well.

Whispering the words that had been on my mind since Levi's body had forcefully emerged itself from his egg, I dared to brush my lips against the outer corners of his mouth, a test to see if my feeling was reciprocated. "Levi, I...I can't tell you how happy I am. You and I, we're...we're going to be together forever. And no matter where the future takes us, no matter what we see or what we do, just knowing that I'll be with you through the whole thing gives me so much fulfillment that I can't even think of a better way to say what I'm feeling right now."

When my lips had come to a halt, so had my speech, and it was with my falter that had Levi nudging the side of my face with his own, an intimate expression of affection that was all I ever needed to relay my concluding thought. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that, even though I've said it many times before, I just can't stop myself from saying it again. As a human and as an angel, as a guardian and as a  _person_ , Levi, I-"

"Whoa! What are you two doing up there?! And damn! He already knows how to  _fly_?!"

It just wouldn't have made sense, if I would have been able to finish that statement, huh? I didn't think so.

Historia must have been busy tending to another angel - that felt oddly familiar - because she wasn't anywhere in plain sight. However, as I squinted my eyes to try and get a better look at that stupid, horse face of Jean's, I soon enough realized that he wasn't alone. No, there was someone with him. From our heightened altitude, it was difficult to make out the features and the visage, but it was when my eyes had latched onto those nostalgic locks of long, blond hair that it had not just me, but Levi as well, diving to the ground and scrambling to land on our feet.

It must have been a sight to see, how we both fumbled on our landings and nearly fell flat on our faces, but with wings that had been trained to break our falls (well, maybe not  _all_  of our falls), we were able to balance ourselves out and make a dash toward the gentle individual who had given the world so much, only to be brutally removed from it.

"Armin!"

It was typical of him to seem amused by my over dramatic reaction, which only validated the fact that it truly was him in every way. His eyes were the same, oceanic shade of blue that I remembered, and his smile was still just as sweet. "I bet you didn't expect to see me here, did you?"

Looking to Levi, who had spotted some dust and was idly preening some of his feathers, before looking back at Armin, I frantically shook my head and lurched forward to grab something,  _anything_ , that was on him, and the first thing that my fingers came into contact with here his. "No, of course not!" I gasped, trying to get my thoughts back into place. The last time I had seen Armin had been the afternoon before he had, well, yeah. I'd pretty much just assumed that he had been reincarnated and was off living his infant life in some, undisclosed location. Little did I know that, all this time, he was right here in Maria, and had become an angel himself!

"Yeah, me either," he chuckled. "Just like you, I'm sure, I had gotten used to the cycle of life. With my final breath came the mental preparation for a new life, a new body, and possibly even a new name, but that never happened. It's kind of obvious without even saying it, but instead of all of that, I ended up here. Kind of crazy how these sorts of things work, huh?"

Nodding like an idiot, I tried to make sense of everything without asking for explanations. If Armin was an angel, and if he was still here in Maria, then chances are that he wasn't a guardian angel. Or could it quite possibly be that he was still undecided? No, that couldn't have been it. If  _I_  had been able to discover my purpose, surely Armin would have, too. What was it, then? Was he a caretaker angel like Jean and Historia? Or maybe he was something entirely different. Screw it, I had to ask.

"You're probably wondering what my occupation is, aren't you?" And that was when I realized that, with Armin, asking questions was pretty much pointless, because he already knew his way into my head.

I fiddled with the hairs on the back of my neck, as I nodded yet again. Even though it was expected of him, it still never ceased to amaze me how he could do that. "Yeah, I was. I mean, I'm guessing you're not a guardian angel, otherwise you wouldn't be here, right?"

In our back and forth of multiple head nods, Armin gave me a curt one, before saying, "Yes, you're right about that. Actually, I'm a messenger angel. I deliver messages between angels, and sometimes I'll even deliver messages between angels and humans."

Not wanting to seem like I thought that Armin's occupation was cooler than mine - which, I had to admit, it sounded pretty cool - I kept my excitement to a minimum, but allowed my interest in our conversation to remain the same. "Wow, that's perfect for you! It's what you've always wanted, you know? To be able to travel the world and to be able see so many new things? I'm sure you've seen a lot during your different lives already, but that doesn't guarantee that you've seen it all. Well, now you can!"

Armin was fully enthralled in what I had to say, but instead of agreeing with it, he caught me off my guard by posing a question. "Did you not realize it already, Eren? It's no wonder that my occupation is perfectly suited for me. All angelic occupations are."

"Huh?" Wait, what was Armin trying to say? Was he referring to the fact that his personality would have been a match for any of the angelic occupations, or was it something else. You know, what? It was probably something else.

"I can't believe it's never crossed your mind before, Eren," he said, seeming genuinely surprised by my stupidity. "All angels discover their occupations on their own, yes, but it's based off of their personality and their own, personal goals that determine their angelic ones. Like, let's take you, for example. As a human, what was your goal in life?"

My eyes went wide with sudden realization of the connection, and it was with that understanding that my head was already turning to face Levi. I almost felt guilty, when I noticed that he had been scratching his neck, but it didn't deter me from giving Armin his answer. "In all of my lives, all I ever wanted was to be with Levi again. I'm pretty sure that must have been my goal."

"And by some miraculous twist of fate, that's exactly why you were destined to become his guardian angel. Do you see it now?"

Everything made so much sense that I was practically hitting myself over the head from not putting the pieces together sooner. Leave it to Armin to do the job for me. "Is that why Levi is a guardian angel, too?" I had to wonder, because truly, even if he didn't recall, he had been the one whom I could call  _my_  guardian angel in our past.

"Most likely," Armin affirmed. "Levi used to be a firm leader and a strong protector. Even though modern times may have softened his edge, they haven't had a chance in softening his consideration for others, am I right?"

And he was. When Levi had been a human, I may have been the guardian angel, but we both had a way of protecting and nurturing each other. Our relationship had never been parental; it had always been a shared responsibility of making sure that either one of us were happy, healthy, and that we were doing alright.

Although, speaking of consideration, Levi had stopped his itching for long enough to step forward and join in on the conversation. Waiting for an opening where he, too, could jump in, he finally had the opportunity to ask, "You said that you were a messenger angel, right?"

It was slightly apparent that Armin hadn't anticipated a question coming from Levi, but he tackled it with just as much politeness and tact as he had always been known for. "Yes, that is correct. Why?"

"Because I want you to deliver a message to someone for me."

Not only had Levi grasped a hold on Armin's complete attention, but he had mine, as well. Levi wanted a message to be delivered? What did he want to say? And to whom?

"Oh! Um, alright," he agreed. "What message do you want to be delivered?"

With his head lowered only momentarily, Levi's eyes were back on Armin's within seconds, and with a tone of authority, he gave him the full layout of his instructions. "I want you to deliver a message to Erwin and Hange. You should remember Erwin, right? He used to be in your class." Another pause had Levi's gaze directing itself downward once more, and this time, he didn't lift it back up until he was done speaking. "I want you to tell the both of them that I'm okay. I want you to tell them that I'm no longer in pain and that Eren is right here with me. And lastly, I want you to tell them that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left them so suddenly. I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to see goodbye. And I'm sorry that I wasn't able to pay for this month's rent. Erwin will get a kick out of that one, at least."

With a firm nod, probably the fourth or fifth that had been shared within a span of only minutes, Armin agreed to deliver Levi's message, but also made it a point to ask, "And what if they want to deliver a message to you in return? Will you allow it?"

I had to admit that it was a bit strange to see Levi shaking his head at that. I had to know what was up. "But why? What if Erwin and Hange want to say something back to you, Levi? Why don't you want to allow it?"

"Because if I do, I'm afraid that I'll never be able to let them go."

Armin took Levi's words to heart and committed them to memory, before looking back over to me. I knew what that face had meant, and after everything that had just taken place, I knew that my time with him was being cut short. "I'm sure we'll see each other again, Eren," he said, with a smile. "You and I have a funny way of running into each other, when we least expect it."

"Yeah, you're right about that," I sighed amusedly, hoping dearly that his statement held some truth to it. Even if Armin and I never crossed each other's paths again, I could honestly say that seeing him as he was right now, an angel that was full of life and with a goal, was more than enough assurance and closure to hold me off for an eternity. Armin had his purpose, and I had mine. Should destiny be gracious enough to let us see each other in the future, then maybe fate truly was kind after all.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't until after Armin had left to deliver Levi's message that Historia made her presence known, swooping down from up above and twirling gracefully into her landing. "Sorry I'm so late!" she quickly apologized! "An newborn angel from the Netherlands was just born and she really needed my help getting out of her egg, so that's why I sent Jean and Armin to come and assist you two. What happened here?"

The ever wonderful Jean took the liberty of bringing Historia up to speed, to which Levi and I looked at one another with arched brows of judgment before listening to what he had to say. "Well, these two  _should_  have technically still been sleeping, but when I came to check up on them, they were practically having a make out session in mid-air."

My face must have been redder than a tomato, as I immediately butted in and spoke out in my defense. "W-we were definitely  _not_  making out, Jean! You don't know anything!"

"Kissing, making out, having sex through your lips. Look, whatever it was that you two were doing, it was weird, and the fact of the matter is that you weren't sleeping when you should have been. Back to what I was saying, though, pretty much the only other thing that really needs to be reported is that he's already discovered his purpose."

I was beyond embarrassed by the way that Jean was describing our update to Historia, but it was good to see that she didn't seem the least bit bothered by it. She was probably used to getting over-the-top answers from Jean, anyway.

"Oh, really? Wow, that was really fast! And I'm assuming that you already know how to fly, as well?"

Since Levi was the one being addressed, he was the one who answered. "Yes, Eren taught me. I only had one thing on my mind at the time, and that was finding my guarded human, but he calmed me down and made me realize that if I wanted to be able to get to her and to properly protect her, I was going to have to learn how to fly first."

"Well, he wasn't wrong," Historia said. "It'd be pretty tricky to protect a human without knowing how to fly. But that's beside the point now. I bet you're simply itching to be with your guarded human, aren't you, Levi?"

Itching was actually a really good descriptor of how Levi was feeling, because with his fingernails scraping against his wrist, the desperation within his voice was only an added bonus to just how much discomfort having to wait had put him through. "I am, but how do I get to her? I don't know how to get out of here."

Taking note of Levi's jittery and eager behavior, Historia wasted no time in lifting her hand and waving her fingers in the same exact fashion that I had seen before, the action ultimately presenting us with the set of doors that were the gateway between Earth and Maria. Seeing as I knew all of this, she saved herself the explanation and cut right to the good stuff. "Once you and Eren are on the other side of these doors, you will know how to get to her, Levi. Every motion that an angel performs is based entirely on instinct, and it is your instinct that will guide you to this  _her_  that you speak of."

I looked to Levi with excitement, continuously thanking my lucky stars that I would be experiencing so many firsts with him. His first embrace, his first flight, and now I would be with him for the first sighting of his guarded human. And what was she like, I wondered. Was she an adult, or a child? It was very possible that she could have been an infant, as well! With so many different possibilities, it wasn't hard for me to understand why I had started feeling itchy myself. Just like Levi did, I really wanted to find her.

"Levi, the doors will not open until I receive you answer, so be sure to reply truthfully. And Eren, I'm sure you remember this from when I had you give me your answer, too." Clearing her throat and readjusting her wings, Historia met Levi's eyes directly as she gave to him the very same speech that she had given to me just under three months ago.

"Are you ready to return to the human world, to seek out your destined human, and to protect, to serve, and to guard them for as long as they may live?"

"Yes, I am."

For whatever reason, I somehow ended up saying the words of acceptance right along with Levi, and in the same burst of force that caused the doors to open the first time I had been faced with them, we were nearly sucked right out and into the human world because of their intensity. It was a good thing that we had held our ground, though, because that had allowed Historia to leave us with a blessing of parting.

Placing her hands on the both of our feathers, the mesh of our black and our white, she recited a small incantation that, by her word, would prevent our wings from feeling pain as we took flight within cold temperatures. She wasn't certain that it would be winter where we were going, but it was always better to be safe than to be sorry.

"One last thing," Historia said, "and this is for you, Eren. Now that you're an archangel, remember that you have the power to teleport. The task in itself is something very simple, but allow me to quickly explain it to you."

According to Historia, in order to teleport, I simply had to think of the person I wanted to see and/or the place where I wanted to go and I would be able to transport myself there. Also, if I was holding onto something or someone during the process, either the object or the person would teleport right along with me. It sounded like something very useful, but apparently, it was also a very tiring act to commit and it was recommended that I limit my transportations to only one or two times per day. In actuality, that sounded like more than enough to me, because what else would I have to teleport to? Levi and I were going to spend the rest of our lives side-by-side, which left me with the mindset that I wouldn't be needing to use my newfound gift very often at all.

"Well, I guess that's it!" And it was with a smile that Historia and Jean (he wasn't smiling, but I could tell that we had his support) waved the both of us off. "I wish you both the best of luck!"

As expected, Levi was the first one to step through the threshold of the set of doors that really were only meant for one person to go through, but not before he and I had thoroughly expressed our gratitude for everything that had been done for us. The clothes, the instructions, the sense of encouragement, and the heated feathers; all of it was appreciated, and all of it needed to be addressed in a simple statement of thanks. "Thank you. Both of you."

And it was at that very moment that I had experienced the most unbelievable and unimaginable feeling of deja vu. It was easy to understand why, though. Everything that Levi had just been through, I had previously been through myself, and now, the both of us were experiencing it all over again, together.

 

* * *

 

Just the same as it had been when I was on my mission to find Levi, the night had fallen and the stars were doing what they did best by decorating the sky. I wanted to say that a couple of days had passed since Levi had become an angel, but with my perception of time being as foggy as it was, it wasn't until we got a hold of a newspaper or a clip from the news that we would be able to find out what day it was. But for right now, that wasn't what mattered. All that seemed justifiable at this point was finding  _her_ , the  _her_  that occupied Levi's thoughts and caused him to feel determined like he never had, or could had ever remember feeling before.

There were so many similarities in comparison with Levi's journey and with mine, but one major difference that clearly made a distinction between our two, separate missions was that, unlike where the door had been positioned for me, in Levi's case, we we forced to dive down like birds of prey, extending our wings and reflecting our feathers over the cool waters of an ocean that could have either been the Pacific or the Atlantic.

It had felt like ages since I'd been able to fly as freely as I was, and being able to fly with Levi only made the moment just that much more special and absolutely, a thousand times more memorable.

We had a goal, that was blatantly certain, but our goal didn't derail us from creating an arial show that left us both with feelings of ecstasy. The yin and the yang of a world unknown, we danced over the water until our hearts felt content, and it just so happened that that was when our eyes had caught a glimpse of our first sighting of land since we'd began our journey. Oh, but it wasn't over yet.

Even though the ocean was long behind us, and the Eiffel Tower had done a wonderful job at informing us of where we were, we continued to carry on. She was close, we could  _feel_  it, but she was still far enough that we needed to take a moment's breather and perch ourselves on the very landmark of the city of love.

After we'd regained our strength and re-established our motivation, Levi led the way as we continued to fly slightly southeast for what could have been over two hours of non-stop air travel. There was only one thing the both of our minds (well, to be fair, I had two things on my mind, but that was irrelevant). All the same, we were just that much closer to finding her.

Flying for as long as we had, it was obvious that we were no longer in France, but it wasn't until Levi and I had lowered our altitudes to the height of coasting just above the rooftops of a residential district that were were able to pick up on the language that was being spoken by the people that lived there. German. Without a doubt, we were in Germany, and with even less of that same doubt, we were extremely close to where we needed to be.

Lifting and lowering our wings so that we could glide above the buildings with ease, Levi began to shiver with anticipation as he started to fly just that much faster. He could sense her presence, and I could as well. In one of these quaint, little houses that made up this quaint, little neighborhood was Levi's destined human.

"Here," he suddenly gasped, changing his course and instantly diving down to the second-story window of a house that we had been just about to fly over. Quick to follow him and even quicker to meet him at the window, it was with equally curious eyes that had us both looking through it and wiping away the mask of residue that our heated breath had left upon the cold glass.

Taking in the sight of pink and plush that surrounded the room, I was the first one to deduce and to whisper, "Levi, it's a nursery."

"Yeah..." he breathed, fogging up his side of the glass once again. Maybe he was feeling nervous, or maybe he was feeling starstruck, but soon enough, he pushed all of those feelings aside and asked a very practical question. "But how are we going to get inside."

I felt like an idiot for being temporarily stumped, but when I finally had my "duh" moment, I made the effort to take a firm hold of Levi's hand. Historia said that if I thought about where I wanted to go and if I held onto someone or something while doing so, I would be able to transport both myself and the other party to my desired destination.

It took a little bit of brain power and a lot of concentration - more than I'd been expecting - but when my request to teleport had finally clicked with my brain, a ball of light had moved Levi and me from one side of the window to the other, and before we could even find the time to blink, we were within the nursery.

I may have been the first one to state the obvious, but Levi had been the one who made the first move over to the crib, a small little structure that was situated over on the opposing side of the wall. I watched him peer over the safety bars, and as his eyes widened with momentary disbelief, my own eyes had looked to what was hanging over the crib rather than what was inside of it.

In pale pink letters made out of comforter cloth and some type of foam spelled out the name of the vulnerable infant that Levi had been destined to protect. And her name was...

"Elyse..." Levi whispered quietly, drawing out his fingers to stroke the soft texture of her cheek as she continued to sleep oh, so peacefully. "Eren, she...she's so small."

"She must be a newborn," I murmured, speaking equally as softly as I made my way over to the crib to take my very first peek inside. Small, yes, she certainly was, but that didn't make her any less beautiful. Her hair was a rich shade of golden blonde, and if only she had opened her precious little eyes, I was almost positive that they would be a gorgeous tint of the same cerulean that all babies were famous for having within their first months of life.

Watching Levi rub his fingers against the side of her cheek felt natural in a way that enticed me to do the same. At first, I'd been frightened that my fingertips may very well faze right through her delicate body, but when they'd successfully made contact with the top of her tiny head, I instantly felt the same, undeniable inclination that Levi had possessed to protect such a little, helpless baby girl.

That was it. I had become her guardian angel, too.

After minutes of just getting ourselves acquainted with her and trying to establish a bond, Levi mentioned something that was actually pretty interesting to think about. "If either you or I have ever crossed paths with her in any of our lifetimes, she'll be able to see us, right?"

I nodded, and removing my hand from Elyse's little head, I opted to rest it against the side of her crib. "That's right. We won't know if she can see us or not until she wakes up, though."

"Yeah." I hadn't expected Levi to follow suit, but when he, too, took his hand away from Elyse's face and instead placed it to the center of my chest, he had correctly executed one of the very best ways to achieve my full and absolute attention. My eyes were instantly on him. "Whether or not she can see us, it won't matter to me. We finally found her;  _that's_ all that matters. And the great thing is that it won't just be me watching over her, but the  _both_  of us are going to protect her."

How could I not smile at such sentimental words during such an emotional moment? The answer was simple. I couldn't.

With my lips pulling at the corners and my heart being sent into a beating flutter, my hands drew themselves up from Elyse's crib and found sanctity in resting on top of my chest, sheltering and comforting the one of Levi's own hands. "You're right, Levi," I whispered, because the words felt so good to say. "Once again, you're absolutely right, and as a guardian archangel, I've been blessed with the ability to guard not just one precious being, but two."

Like clockwork, our foreheads had found each other's and our eyes had shut in perfect bliss. I'd been with him long enough to understand that Levi liked to listen to me when I spoke, which was good, because I wasn't finished with what I had to say yet.

"Elyse may have initially been your guarded human, but I am making it my vow to protect her and to guard her just the same as any other guardian angel would do. But this doesn't change how I feel about you, Levi. My feelings and my desires haven't changed a single bit, and although there is another entity in our lives, I can still say that no amount of love or affection will ever compare to what I have for you. I may have been cut off by that idiot named Jean before, but I'm free to say it to you now."

A deep breath and a dusting of feathers were all that I needed to settle down and to organize my thoughts. I wasn't planning on giving Levi just any, ordinary confession of my adoration, but a confession that was going to serve as the beginning of our new and exciting life together.

"Levi, you are my past, my present, and my future, and although some of those areas may feel fuzzy in the middle, the strength of my feelings still stand." And it was that strength indeed that had my lips sending themselves into quiver and my hands clenching onto Levi even tighter. "With all of my heart and with all of my soul, I can honestly and truthfully say that I am so very deeply in love with you."

Life is full of unexpected occurrences. With the good comes the bad, and sometimes, with the bad comes the very bad. But in the end, one thing is for certain. No matter your ethnicity, your location, your status, or your sex, everyone can use a guardian angel, and it's not uncommon for that guardian angel to fall in love with their guarded human. But what if it's the other way around? What if, in the end, those feelings are returned and their guarded human falls in love with the guardian angel, as well? It's not impossible; anything can happen. After all, life is full of unexpected occurrences.

"It's time to catch me, Eren," Levi hummed, and if I hadn't been the one to initiate such a silly statement in the first place, I probably wouldn't have been prepared for what was about to come next. "It's time for you catch me, because I have fallen so very deeply in love with you, too."

Yes. Everyone can use a guardian angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> We did it, everyone! We have finally reached the very last chapter (even though there will be an epilogue) of "Feathers and Follies"!
> 
> Now, I know I said that I would save my thanks for now, but honestly, my brain is super dead after writing all of this. It's well after 4AM, this chapter nearly topped out at 8,000 words, and I am just praying to the Heavens above that it is not riddled with mistakes (it took me two hours to proofread, hnng).
> 
> But before I go off on a tangent, I just want to say how amazed I was with all of your guesses about who Levi's guarded human would be! In the end, only two of you got it right, whereas 7 voted for Petra, 3 for Isabel and Mikasa, 2 for Armin (who still found his way into this chapter, haha!), and 1 for Erwin and Hange! It was really fun reading all of your guesses, so I really hope that I didn't disappoint any of you by having a little 'ole random OC thrown into the mix.
> 
> Since I'm about to pass out from exhaustion, I really just need to say thank you so much for all of your dedication and support. It takes two to tango, so knowing that all of you have continuously read something that I have written is incredibly flattering and extremely humbling. Thank you so, so much. (:
> 
> And as always, thank you for taking the time to read! (:
> 
> \- Chappy


	36. Elyse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is happiness in death.

_Epilogue_  

* * *

 When you're alive, the concept of time is a tricky one. Some days feel as if they've dragged on for far longer than the twenty-four-hour mark, and some days feel like all you need to do is blink and you're welcoming in a new season. Ironically enough, when you're dead, your perception of time isn't all that different from when you're alive. Some of the days are long, and some of the days are short, but the one, key factor that disconnects life from death is the number. Your afterlife is no longer on a clock, and there is a one-hundred percent guarantee that you're going to wake up the next morning. You can't die again; you're already dead. And as morbid as all of that sounds, there is happiness in death.

I've found my happiness.

It had been three months since Levi and I had vowed our lives and our protection to Elyse, and with each passing hour, our undying love for her has only continued to grow.

She was a beautiful baby girl -  _our_ baby girl - with bright, blue eyes and an even brighter personality. Through our guidance over her, we've learned that it's only typical for babies to begin expressing what we consider regular, human facial cues such as smiles and frowns when they've reached twelve weeks of age. Elyse was as brilliant as her fine tuffs of golden hair, and by week ten, she was already showing us that gorgeous little grin to go along with her happy-go-lucky attitude.

Yes, that's right. Elyse could  _see_  Levi and me.

It was a sentimental moment like no other, being gifted with the reception of her gaze for the very first time. With her pupils bursting with illumination at our sight, it was apparent that she was completely and utterly drawn to us,  _captivated_  by us, just as we were drawn and captivated by her.

We weren't certain of when we had crossed paths with Elyse, or in what lifetime, and in Levi's case, none of the prior information held any value. Elyse could have been someone simple to us; a classmate, a teacher, an old friend, or a stranger, but no matter the title of her past, it was her present title as our guarded human that made a stand.

For the life of me, I couldn't wrap my head around my bout of luck. No, this wasn't luck. This was  _fate_ ;  _destiny_ , if you will. To think that in one of our lifetimes, maybe even two, or three, both Levi and I had seen, interacted with, or befriended Elyse without knowing the grand connection that she held between us. She was the center of our world, the pretty little bow that tied two threads of string into one, and because of the past that we so often try to forget, our future had been blessed by it.

And that brought forth a means for celebration.

In the late hours of that half-winter night, after Levi and I had spent the entirety of our evening fawning and cooing at the gift of gaze that our precious Elyse had given to us, he and I made blissful and satiable love for the first time in over a thousand years.

Everything about our location made the act feel wrong, but everything in our bodies and our minds made it feel oh, so  _right_. And the best part of it all was that we took our  _time_ , because time was something that we had endless amounts of. Slowly but surely, we made ourselves once again familiar with what felt good and with what didn't. Kissing each other's necks was good,  _very_  good, but pulling at our wings was actually really bad. We were knowledgeable, but we were still learning, and with our bodies working their way up to the peak of absolute ecstasy, it was with words of love on our tongues and hot and heavy feathers in the air that had us both toppling over and onto each other in a mess of limbs and loose garments...all without waking up the baby.

Oh, and how could I forget? About a week after we'd gotten ourselves settled in Germany with Elyse, Armin had graciously paid Levi and I a visit. Although Levi had been the one to advise against receiving a message from Erwin and Hange in return, it was reported that the both of them (mostly Hange) practically  _forced_  the message on Armin, begging and pleading that he deliver it. And after all of that tiresome work, their response ended up being very brief, just a simple, "We're glad to hear that you're alright. We miss you. We miss Eren, too." Yeah, that last part had definitely been from Hange.

Before Armin left us for the second time (technically, his third), I snagged what could have possibly been my one and only opportunity of having messages of my own delivered. The first message I wanted to be sent out was to my first-life mother. Even after all of these years - and even if she didn't remember me anymore - I desperately wanted to thank her, honor her, and apologize to her. What she also needed to know what just how much I still loved her and thought about her. The second message was to my last-life mother. It was late in coming, but I had a feeling that she wouldn't mind knowing about my whereabouts and how I was doing. Also, another love send and another apology were in order. Lastly, my third and final message was to be given to Mikasa. Our present relationship may have been confusing and, well, a bit uncomfortable at times, but I had a feeling that she would have liked to know that I still wore her gifted scarf proudly around my neck and that I could honestly say that I missed her, too.

With a whole new sense of closure, one that most spirits in death probably weren't lucky enough to receive, Levi and I were finally ready to begin the future that we had talked about before. It may have been different from what we'd originally planned, but that didn't make it any less exciting.

Yeah. It didn't make it any less exciting at all.

 

* * *

_May 7th, 2014_

* * *

 

The evening was quickly turning into nightfall, and with the curtains drawn the lights dimmed low, Elyse was resting safely and soundly in her crib, right where her parents had left her. It was hard for Levi and me to believe just how much she'd grown in these past three months. Her little legs were getting longer, and the soft hairs that crowned her head was really starting to fill out. She was rapidly maturing right before our very eyes, and I was entirely convinced that it was because of all of the love and warmth that she received from not just her parents, but from her guardian angels, as well.

And speaking of love...

"Levi..." I breathed, trying to hold my own as he felt the need to toy with my weaknesses. This had become the norm for us. While Elyse slept, our sense of sensuality was awoken, and it was always a battle to keep our voices down, while we let our pleasures soar. "You...you're going to wake her like last time..."

"Like last time? And whose fault had that been?" he whispered in return, exhaling a soft, rather smug chuckle against my skin. I shivered, but in the best possible way. Levi may have been placing the blame on me for rousing our little angel a couple of nights ago, and granted, it  _was_  kind of my fault, but he wasn't all that innocent, either. If he hadn't bitten into the nape of my neck as hard as he did, I wouldn't have screamed, and Elyse wouldn't have woken up. Regardless of who was at fault, it wasn't something I was going to waste my breath bickering with him over.

That was when I felt his lips as they began to roam along the curvature of my jaw, painting a portrait of pink with each of his pecks. All of his advancements were so slow that they were almost taunting, and as I shifted my weight to one where I was on top of him, I could feel his hands almost instantly beginning to work their way down to where innocent became intimate. "Heiß..."

Levi's chest began to rattle with gentle laughter, as both his oral and his tactile motions were brought to a still. With amusement still lingering in his tone, he genuinely asked, "Are you trying to seduce me by speaking German?"

I'd apparently gotten too excited over the possibilities of where things were heading between us that my wings had started frantically fluttering like they always did. At least I wasn't alone in that aspect. He may have tried to hide it, but I could very well see the slight tremor in Levi's wings also. Our mouths may have spoken lies, but our bodies were always honest.

"...Maybe." See? Our mouths speak lies.

"You're full of it, Eren," Levi spoke lowly, coaxing our eyes to meet as he stroked his fingers along the side of my face. "You only know, like, three words in German."

And he was right - what a shocker. For someone who used to speak German fluently with their parents in not just one lifetime, but three, I'd forgotten next to everything about the language. That's what happens when you don't keep at it. You forget and you regret. Still, that didn't keep me from adopting an air of confidence of my own. It was about time, right? "At least the three words that I know are the three that are the most important."

"Oh, yeah?" From his laid back demeanor alone, I could tell that Levi was more than ready to hear what I had to say. "And what are they?"

I'd allowed Levi to have his fun, but now it was my turn. With any healthy relationship, either human or celestial, there was always a method of give and take, and for most of our personal encounters, Levi had been doing much of the giving. It was time for him to learn how to take.

With his hands moving to support me from the rear, our torsos meshed and my chest slid against his. In all of my lives, I've known what made Levi tick, and having a bit of a boastful ego during heated moments was one of those things.

My wings continued to flutter as my lips began to work their magic against his neck, and knowing full well that I couldn't keep the answer to Levi's question waiting for long, I had to cut my grand display of self-pride short. No worries, though. Levi would  _definitely_  appreciate what would be coming at him next.

As my lips found their way to the shell of his ear, showing all of the seduction of a siren, but hosting all of the tenderness of a saint, I whispered to him what was more than obvious, but my linguistics gave it a unique flare.

"Ich liebe dich, Levi."

I'd thought I'd known all of the tocks to Levi's ticks, but apparently, speaking to him in German was just another one of those new discoveries that we've been progressively uncovering about each other. Like a drop of fire in a sea of gasoline, we were off, and until that flame had been reduced to ash, it was needless to say that neither of us would be satisfied.

My words of confession had Levi instantly pinning my back up against the corner wall that we had been sitting near, and as I yelped against his mouth for the well-being on my wings, he breathed an apology before his hungered lips began to devour mine.  _Heiß_. I would have said it again, if I wasn't already busy muttering out my pathetic moans of greed.

This was getting dangerous. This was getting out of hand.

This was  _incredible_.

I could feel the vibrations; where were they coming from? I could feel the sting of electricity; his hand was gripping at my key. I could feel the love and I could feel the lust, two emotions that were good on their own, but were made  _great_  when pieced together. I wanted everything. I wanted it all. In all of my lives and through all of the excitement, I had never wanted Levi as  _badly_  as I had wanted him in that single moment.

Fate had been kind, but it had never been  _that_  kind.

We heard a hiccup, and knowing that such a sound could have never come from either Levi or me, our heads quickly snapped up at the noise. Pulling apart with such a force had caused our breathing to fall into an uneven tempo, but it wasn't our the heaving of our chests that stole the show. It was Elyse.

Whimpering and whining, but not exactly crying, she began to make a fuss in her crib over we couldn't imagine what. It wasn't until I had my wits about me that I was able to realize, oh, those vibrations I had felt? Yeah, they had a source, and that source was the raw power of behind wings ramming and thrashing at the very same wall that Levi had held me up against. Oops.

Knowing that Elyse's parents wouldn't come running into her nursery over the subtle sound of a tiny whine, Levi and I looked at one another, before looking at the crib, before looking back at one another again. Our feelings were mutual, and so was our sigh.

"This is why it's your fault, Eren," Levi said playfully, helping me off of his lap. It was as we both began fixing our robes that he added, "You just don't know how to keep quiet."

And for the most part, he was right. I  _did_  have trouble with my volume control, but as per mentioned, could I really be the only one at blame? After all, I wouldn't be making so much noise, if Levi wasn't so assertive with what he was good at. But for now, I'd let it slide. We had a baby that needed immediate coddling and consoling, and when all was said and done, who's to say we wouldn't pick right back up from where we left off?

With mortality no longer binding us, we had forever to look forward to, but I had a feeling that Levi would only be needing one of those nights in forever to teach me a lesson on how to be quiet...and I had a funny little feeling that tonight was going to be that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Chappy here!
> 
> This is officially it, everyone! "Feathers and Follies" has reached completion! And hopefully, it went out with a bang! (See what I did there? ;D)
> 
> Honestly and truthfully, I cannot thank you all enough for taking the time to read this story, and to leave all of your lovely comments and reviews. Throughout this journey, I've had people tell me that "Feathers and Follies" was their favourite Eren/Levi fanfic, or that they're planning on reading it again once it's over, and honestly, that is just so flattering and humbling that it really just blows me away. To think that something I've written is viewed as a favourite, or is worthy of being read twice, it really just makes me feel so grateful and continues to give me the motivation that I need to keep writing!
> 
> And speaking of motivation, can you believe that I've been publishing chapters for this story for 36 weeks consecutively?! That's more than half of a year!
> 
> So many personal, writing milestones have been reached through "Feathers and Follies", and it's always going to hold a special place in my heart because of that. I hope that you, as my dearly devoted readers, will be able to keep a special place in all of your hearts for this story, as well!
> 
> It's hard to say goodbye to this story, but as I've been told by someone who has also become a dedicated reader of this fanfic, when one door closes, another one opens.
> 
> As I've been saying for the past few weeks, I am planning on starting up a new fanfic! It won't happen immediately, though, as I'm choosing to take a one to two-week break to clear my head and start fresh. It'll be worth it in the end, I promise!
> 
> Now, before this note ends up being longer than the epilogue itself, I feel the need to end it by saying thank you, I'm grateful to all of you, and I'm glad that we were able to go on this journey of emotional roller coasters together!
> 
> And for one last time, thank you for taking the time to read! (:
> 
> \- Chappy
> 
> P.S. Also, I never actually think of posting this until after the fact, but if you'd like to stay updated with more things involving my writing, or just a plain flood of Eren/Levi on your dashboards, you can follow my tumblr account! My URL is kairixxxsora16. (:


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